[Closed] Help restore family holiday issues ! Constant arguing...

It's a holiday, don't ruin it by try to pack in evening

And pack the kids off for a bit and have a ****-fight, that'll clear the air 🙂

Have you asked 'her indoors' what her expectations/would like from the holiday?

Wouldn't you be better off having this conversation with the person who you refer to as 'her indoors'? You aren't arguing over nothing, so find the something.

Did she want you to take her to Centerparcs instead? 😉

Nah an all inclusive in Majorca

The problem is "her indoors" is outdoors. Get her back in the kitchen where she belongs and all will be right again.

HHITS?

Er indoors doesn't mind camping it's the moving around different sites and setting up etc.

Anyway got the boys to bed early at 10 and enjoying a hertog jan beer ( actually my 4th) and all seems calmer in my world !

All inclusive... No way !!!!

Give in! Give in! Let her win!

Let her be in charge of the meaning of fun holiday.

Chill man ... chill ... why do you want to take on the responsibility of what's she likes? 😯

I am usually brain death when holidaying as I just get tow around ...

Shocked to find I agree with chewkw.

How about you pitch in with all the chores instead of sodding off on the bikes with your kids leaving your good lady to be bored to tears..........look after your lady or she will go looking elsewhere for attention..... 😆

jamj1974 - Member

Shocked to find I agree with chewkw.

Ya, been there done that with ex-gf.

The hassle is having to face a very long face after the holiday.

Remember the topic will come up again next time you have a disagreement because you have not been "thoughtful" enough. Your fault regardless.

The downside will be no "loving boom boom" in bed for a while. 😆

What worked well for us: twins coming up to 7, was pack in a busy week moving around, then a totally lazy week where we only went out of the place 2 mornings. We were so knack erred by the end of the first week, that the second week of relaxation was welcome to all

A holiday in Holland? 2 days in Amsterdam, and then, err, err...?

Don't let her indoors ruin your Dutch adventure! Dress yourself and the kids in costume and then spike her with mushrooms.

I was gonna agree with the rest who said discuss it like adults till enfht made a very sensible suggestion. That.

(but hire an oompah band as well)

enfht has given the best advice. 😆

Make sure you got all the emergency equipments ready just in case she runs amok. 😆

More alcohol is required. Make love to your wife.

More alcohol is required. Make love to your wife

Or someone else wife, as I think that you are allowed to do that in Holland.

I think that you are allowed to do that in Holland.

For sure!

Lie alongside giggly business.

OP when I was about your kids age we used to have the kind of holiday you describe but camping not campervan.

I remember my folks arguing a lot not because they disagreed on moving around even but just the hassle of striking and pitching camp, packing the car and navigating from place to place.

I still really enjoyed the holidays but I am not convinced my folks did a lot of the time.
Personally and because of my experiences I would move maybe once or twice during a two week family holiday but I would make sure I saw more of each place.

I know it's no help on this trip but maybe a suggestion that next time you do less site moves that way she kind of wins but you get to make the best of this one with the travelling and still some variety next time.

In current, me the parent context, We don't camp for our family holidays, a compromise for me as I love camping and "living outdoors" but my wife is really not keen and certainly not for a couple of weeks. The reality is it doesn't ruin my holiday to stay in self catering s ofor us the right compromise. Your compromise will be different but it should be that and not just one party giving in.

Maybe just a suggestion now that you will have a rethink for next year would clear the air...

You don't [i]have[/i] to argue.

OMG this is like deja vu all over again. I had a BF just like this - he would organise the most stressful holidays he possibly could, never book anywhere, running about all the time "to get the most out of the holiday". Holidays are about relaxing. Sure see some stuff, but have some down time.

I eventually realised that he actually enjoyed all the stress and the shouting and arguing, that was his fun time, he set things up like that on purpose so he could shout at some people.

Don't be that guy !

You don't have to argue.

Yes you do

In seriousness,

I'm puzzled as to how you've got to this point. Did she agree to your plans and is now complaining about it? Or has she done a Withnail and come on holiday by mistake? Or is she actually really angry for something you did on last year's holiday?

I want to do certain things on my holidays. My wife does too. Those things don't always match up. However I have found (20 yrs experience) is that if I stop being selfish and make my wife have a great holiday I have a great holiday too. And I know she does the same for me (letting me ride the slickrock trail on my own in Moab when she couldn't manage it was a great example!). Both happy.

If all you do is do things the way that pleases you then not even you will enjoy the holiday in the end. Unless you're [i]that[/i] selfish of course.

Doesn't everyone argue on holiday? We're just not used to spending so much time with our spouses!

Er indoors doesn't mind camping it's the moving around different sites and setting up etc.

I agree with your wife - setting up camp every day would do my head in.

I eventually realised that he actually enjoyed all the stress and the shouting and arguing, that was his fun time, he set things up like that on purpose so he could shout at some people.
Don't be that guy !

Are some people really like that? I just don't understand that at all. Sounds like a nightmare.

Just about to set off on a 3 week holiday in Spain and France. Doing 2 moves. I find anymore is your wasting time setting up and packing up. I used to try and do too much and I'd end up disappointed and frustrated. It probably your expectations of what you can do on a holiday that needs to change rather than her indoors.

Shudda gone on yer own, or mebbies just tekken da kids (or one of em')

😉

Just get pissed and go on the internet, that'll make everything better.

Some good points been said and much appreciated, long chat today and it's one activity a day from now on.
We hit the texel Island tomorrow which is 7 days on the same site and will be more chilled out.

This holiday reminds me of mine when I was a child but we used to do 6 weeks of this not two weeks, however last year we did the same and it was very different.

Thanks once again

^ did you raise the question of sleeping with other people's wives in that conversation or not?

Compromise holidays do seem to be a source of frustration for me too.
I think it's probably something to do with the "fitting it all in" thing that comes with only having a finite amount of leave 🙁

e.g. Just done twelve days in Garda. Part family holiday/part bikey.
I did;
4 days on the bike, mostly back for late afternoon, only one day when back after dark.
2 days via ferrata with daughter
6 days family stuff, Verona, Limone, mooching aimlessly, etc

I mistakenly though of that as a family holiday with a small amount of biking. She seems to think it was a biking holiday and wants to do a cruise next year 🙁

I guess it comes down to expectations of "what a good holiday looks like".