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Cool.
Seeing she was under pressure I quipped something to the effect of “don’t worry we aren’t going to force a reformed alcoholic to drink” which raised a laugh
It does come across quite harshly to be honest.
Breaking the tension would usually mean you also would decline the wine and saying something like "sometimes it's nice not to have a drink" or something that doesn't draw further attention to someone who isn't partaking in 'social norms'.
Wasn't there so maybe it was all taken in good spirits (pun intended).
So how many of you folk would happily drink orange juice if everybody else did and mainly drink alcohol because of peer pressure to do so? And would you drink five pints of beer if all the orange juice drinkers took the piss out of you for being a wimp and drinking beer? I've given up on socialising with more than one group I've every reason to get on with because of the pressure to drink alcohol.
There's a bizarre culture around alcohol with all the ills people should be aware of:
https://www.verywellmind.com/alcohol-is-the-most-harmful-drug-3969483
On this forum there's a laddish culture around drink, when the site goes down an image comes up of a man with a big grin and several tins of beer. A helmet who rides with Stella tins on his rider is an MTB hero. I've lost count of the number of alcohol related brags in EDL threads. It's big, it's clever, it's grownup... er no it's not.
It's a drug, consume with the same prudence you would any of the drugs that objectively do society less harm but don't make the tax man happy.
There's an advertising campaign in these parts to convince us to drink less than two glasses a day and not every day. That's about one British pint or somewhat less than the contents of the typical British wine glass I'm given - they look more like flower vases.
No-one should need an alibi not to drink.
I quipped something to the effect of “don’t worry we aren’t going to force a reformed alcoholic to drink”
You what? Are you absolutely ****ing mental?
Interesting Sctoroutes. Which beers did you find worked for you?
As I said, I tended to go for wheat beers. Hoegaardens, Erdinger both good. Some nice bottled stuff too if you look around.
No Scotroutes, no-one tried to persuade her to drink for the rest of the evening. We had all met that day so no-one had any reason to think I was being serious but it did mean they stopped plying the drink. The only thing that bothered her was that she thought I'd guessed she was an alcoholic as if it was written on her forehead, hence her question the next day "how did you know?", to which I replied "I didn't", and that was the start of a really good chat about all sorts of rubbish.
Anyhow, I'm not an alcholic (or am I? for all you know I could be), but it's really annoying when I have to refuse a drink more than once or someone makes a disparaging comment about my choice of drink or size of drink. Doesn't happen often around here.
I gave up last year for just over three months after a mate of mine said he had signed up for the one year no beer thing.I didn't sign up for that but did listen to the podcasts they do which had some good content on there.I was drinking at least a bottle of wine everynight for years prior.It was hard for the first week then once i found an alcohol free beer i didn't mind i got into it.I thought i would start again for xmas and then get back on the wagon in the new year.It never happened,i had a few alcohol free days between xmas and new year and i have drunk every night since.Less than before but still everynight.I don't really want to stop now where as before i did.I don't really suffer with bad hangovers with the amount i drink and it doesn't stop me getting up early to go for a pre work bike ride.This is not a pro drink post just my experience of giving up and starting again.
Not a funny joke really.
Friend of mine had a serious problem with alcohol - he ended up in A and E three times after drunken accidents - one of the main reasons being he simply didn't get hangovers, so it didn't affect his work for the most part. He could also sober up during sessions by not drinking for an hour, then start again.
But he's given up completely now since getting married, I think his wife would have definitely left him if it continued. I saw him in the pub the other day and I'm careful to keep a distance from him - I don't want to be good friends with him incase it means he wants to come down the pub more and it sets off the old drinking patterns again.
For some people, social drinking inevitably leads to alcohol problems.
I've nothing but respect for folk looming to give up alcohol. The UK and Ireland have an insane dependency on it and it's a ticking time bomb.
I "officially" stopped drinking about 5 years ago. I was a bottle of JD on a saturday night kinda guy and then hitting the town with mates. Took me longer to get a buzz and started to cost me a fortune.
I was always a social drinker, never drank on my own so it wasn't a big step for me. As mates started getting married and having kids etc I was also going out less and so pulled the plug. Haven't missed it one bit.. though I still piss away the money on stupid stuff!
I'm a social drinker, but over time I'm reducing both the frequency of the sessions and how many pints I have in a session.
I value local pubs. They've been very important for forming new friendships and acquaintances as I've had to move around a bit for work.
But I'm single and I doubt I would drink at all if I were married with kids. Still, I'm amazed at how many bottles of wine the local residents get through. I think the worse thing would be for two heavy drinkers to get married, that can never end well.
my experience of giving up and starting again.
My experience differ a little. I gave up 100% between January and March. I wasn't a heavy drinker but it creeps up to "that one, maybe two beers after work/the kids are in bed".
After much, I told myself I wouldn't drink the day before training sessions so as not to restrict performance in any way, or afterwards not to affect asleep / recovery. This basically means I drink 1-2 beers or glasses of wine a week now, and I enjoy them.
There's loads to google about health benefits of no or little alcohol which is essentially a poison to our body's. Unfortunately its one of the mainstream complimentary adverts for living or celebrating in our society today which makes avoidance difficult.
Because I drink so little now I have a low tolerance, but mainly once you do give up - even for a week or so, its surprising how much you notice the mornings are better - no fuzzy head, no dry mouth, more alert, more energy etc.
Congrats on people that do give up - there so much to pull you the other way its nothing but a difficult challenge.
I like the idea of giving up. Being hungover every day sucks, plus there's the weight gain. The problem is, it tastes good, makes me feel good & takes the misery a way for an hour or two.
Take away the misery instead ?
Aye, address the issue*, instead of medicating.
* Easier said than done at times, I know.
Gave up 4 years ago - I'm 53 now. First 6 months was tough. The last time i missed it was last summer in the Lakes. Coming off the fells and having a coke just seemed strange. Increasingly if out for the evening and late to bed still feel a bit knackered in the morning but think whatever would I feel like if I had been drinking. It cant be a bad thing to give up. My kids are 10 and 12 and I want to see them grow up and hopefully giving up booze can only help my health.
It does seem that these threads are dominated by folk that have/had an issue with excessive alcohol consumption. Maybe its just my social circle but my friends all seem to be occasional drinkers, a few units per week, sometimes none, and there is never any pressure on folk to have an alcoholic drinkif out in the pub etc. It's perfectly possible to combine moderate alcohol intake with good health and the responsibilities of a family.
I wish i could, but girlfriends mental health & my family business losing several hundred thousand pounds this year is making me lose the smiley face:(
It does seem that these threads are dominated by folk that have/had an issue with excessive alcohol consumption. Maybe its just my social circle but my friends all seem to be occasional drinkers,
only drink on a Saturday. some weeks a couple, some weeks a gallon.
I drink a lot less than I used to. We (MrsIHN and I) would share a bottle of wine one or two nights a week and one Fri/Sat/Sun nights it'd be a couple beers or G&T's (home measures, i.e. large), a bottle of wine, maybe a whisky or a brandy late on. Or we'd be out and I'd have five or six pints.
The MrsIHN did Dry January and, whilst I didn't go the whole hog, I did Semi-Arid January. So, on a Friday night I'd have a (i.e. one) beer, same Saturday, maybe same Sunday. That was it. The habit has basically stuck, mid-week drinking is gone, weekend drinking is much reduced. I feel better for it and have lost a fair bit of weight.
However, the thing that struck me most was on the occasional times I have had a few (say, out for a friends birthday or something) I've felt pretty rubbish the next day and realised that I used to drink that amount regularly and feel fine, which can't be good.
I drink almost nothing by comparison with some here and those in my club. A half pint after a ride whilst others might drink several, for example. I am however, a believer in quality over quantity. So I'm happy to buy and try different beers from anywhere, and just as happy to open a bottle of wine and spend a week drinking it and have some left to pour away.
Lightweight? Or wahtever, I think some of this is attitude. I like the taste of some beers like wheat beers, IPAs etc, and am happy to try anythinh. But three pints in an evening would see me in a pretty poor state!
I don't necessarily beleive in giving up, but I do beleive in tryng different things and savouring. Why not try that. Bottled beers help, due to portion size, of course. That and I drink a huge amount of all sorts of tea!
I like the idea of giving up. Being hungover every day sucks,
You don't need to drink every night.
Not in my 50s (at the tender age of 42) but I am 18 months into giving up drinking, well almost, I do still drink LA beer.
I don't regret it, having done it I can feel a real difference in my mood, alertness and fitness. Im also better off financially and I don't miss it now its gone. You should try some of the new breed of LA beers that are commonly available like Adnams Ghost Ship, Brooklyn LA etc. While they tend to be quite citrus-ey they're a decent drink in their own right unlike say Bitburger, or Heineken or a host of other drain cleaner LA beers, and certainly enough to sway you from the perception that you're missing out. They're also usually low in calories relatively speaking too.
I'm like Scotroutes, started getting 2 day hangovers from 1 or 2 pints - it was IPA/Pale Ales at first but not can be a pint of any beer (I live in Munich so the purity of the beers is pretty good!).
The crazy thing is that sometimes I can have 1 pint and be ill for 2 days - headaches, cold sweats, bad stomach, but when I'm away snowboarding with the lads I can have 3-5 pints a night and no issues. Its like Russian Roulette!
Got to the stage where I'v basically given up drinking full stop - maybe 1 beer or 1 glass of wine every couple of weeks. I never really drank much as standard but I do like the occasional glass of something so not going 100% dry.
As a follow on to this - and the journey probably started (in my mind at least) with reading the book I recommended, I've just signed up for One Year No Beer - the 90 day version 🙂 On Day 2 but actually my 5th day without a drink. Boy do I feel better waking up and throughout the day. No doubt there'll be harder bits once the honeymoon period is over, and particularly stressing about a business trip next week - but for the moment the overriding sentiment, after my first alcohol free Friday and Saturday evening for a long time, is what a lovely time I'm having with family and how much more fun it is.
Like I say, there'll be harder days, but just ordered a big selection of alcohol free beers that I think will help. I'm very dominantly a beer drinker, and the first couple at least are because I really like the taste. The others are usually social triggers or just because it takes my mind off things. They are the ones I'll have to fight with, I've no doubt.
Anyway. 88 days to go 😀
I gave up over 100 days ago now, just had my first sober birthday since my teens probably. It gets easier as you go along and in my opinion has been my best ever decision. Its easy and hard at the same time with some strange mental conflicts. Ive been reading plenty of blogs but im trying to keep to the positive ones but ive come to the conclusion that there are people out there who are just going sober so they can write about something and gain instagram followers! Lots of shite about getting up early and meditation!
Keep it up orange! It's a real gift that we have come to this point and realisation in life!
Well done dougie, keep going if that's what you want, it gets easier. 15 months down the line it's not something I even think about now.
Yea I've sort of convinced myself to do a year, that way I don't have the mental challenge of the whole rest of life thing.
I don't drink a lot by some standards, maybe 4 cans a week, or maybe 4 cans a week plus a couple of pints down the pub. However I did find myself becoming more dependent on it, if only for the routine of having a pint rather than the feeling it gave me. I also struggle massively with depression and anxiety - current period is especially bad - and therefore I'm trying to remove anything that could make this worse.
I'm 7 days in now and despite fancying a pint over the weekend (and 'needing one to take the edge off' on Friday) I've managed to abstain. I don't feel any happier, I've certainly not lost any weight but at least it's something else that isn't adding to my mood. My stomach isn't as bad as it was either, which could also be seen as a positive.
Big thumbs up to the AF beers though - I've been drinking Moretti Zero and now actually prefer it to normal beer. Plus it's £3 for 4 which is a bonus.
I have to be careful which alcohol I drink even some soft drinks as I have a terrible reaction to Sulphites which a lot of them have.
1 bottle of Magners and I have a migraine the next day the same with shipyard Pale ale. Lime cordial and ginger ale also have them in too so have to try and avoid them. It's a bit of a lottery to be honest but the good news it means I only drink very occasionally
I was necking a litre of vodka a night for years. (rough childhood). I just stopped. I didn't drive for a week incase I had a fit. It was rough but I did it. Staying sober is the hard bit. It's in your face on the telly, in shops etc.