[Closed] Getting married and asking for cash instead of a present

It is ok, but mention what you are putting it towards, I.e. a holiday. Bikes don't count

If you're a gormless chav, then yes, go for it.

Most of us have the majority of items we need these days, I'd be asking for the money to help pay for the cost of the marriage!

Fair enough. It seems the done thing is to write a little ditty in the invite; something along the lines of;

Getting four toasters is gash,
Just hand over the cash...

Would do the job. Maybe add some frilly bits...

We asked for b and q vouchers so we could buy a wooden floor. It seemed better to give people a point to the request. We had been living together for ages and had enough t towels and mismatched plates.

yes, the more cash the better, bikes [b]do[/b] count.

Maybe ask for some wipe clean bathroom floor covering. 😉

You will piss someone off : possibly someone who wants to pass on their gash presents from when they got married.

No matter what you do though - you'll piss someone off. Dont sweat it.

We asked for a contribution to our honeymoon. So basically cash dressed as something slightly different.

Lad I work with just got married and got a LOT of cash and hardly any presents. I think most people who will be attending your wedding will know you well enough to figure out that you're a big boy and will already have a toaster/set of pans/disgusting silver plate picture frame.

We asked for B&Q and M&S vouchers at our wedding and no one batted an eyelid.

You can eat like royalty for months on M&S vouchers

lunge - Member
We asked for a contribution to our honeymoon. So basically cash dressed as something slightly different.
POSTED 1 MINUTE AGO # REPORT-POST

We set up a honeymoon account at our local travel agents, most people have just gave us cash/cheques so far though.

Just bang a poem in the invite, plenty to get inspiration from the the net.

I would absolutely hate being asked for cash. Modern weddings can be a ridiculous waste of good money. It's about two people in love ( hopefully) in my book....

... Yes..... I can be a bit Victor Meldrew ..... 🙂

If you want to piss people off ask for cash
If you want to really piss people off do it in badly rhymed poem
If you want to disassociate yourself from evryone you know have a'wishing well' for people to drop their cash donations into

Or just ask for Argos or Travel Agent vouchers ftw

My brother in law Is a composer and he has been saving for a new piano for literally years. When they got married they put all their savings on a sizeable down payment and all the guests were asked if they would like to contribute to it. Personally I think that was a great idea.

If you're a gormless chav, then yes, go for it.

nice

Or perhaps Greek, or Cuban

[img] [/img]

I think it's a brilliant idea. With folks getting married later already with a load of stuff it makes great sense. Close relatives can be allowed to get you what they want but everyone else can chip in. A good solution is often to get the best man/bridemaid to handle telling people as it usually goes down better. Personally I love the idea

Bikes don't count

Wrong - we got loads of contributions to a tandem. Brilliant gift we would probably never have got ourselves and it is still going strong

It seems to be a modern phenomenon which I think is really tacky and pretty vulgar and it pissed me off even more that the only wedding I have ever been to where they asked for cash as a present there was no follow on letter of thanks and it just felt as though the couple had pocketed the money with no idea of who had given and how much they had given . I am a pretty miserable , over 50 year old git though , so perhaps my comments are slightly out of touch

We asked for cash but our original choice of venue burnt down 5 weeks before the wedding and we had to spend our honeymoon cash arranging a replacement.

I figure if someone can afford/wants to spunk upwards of 10k on "the best day of our lives" then they don't need fifty quid from me.

**** em.

Last wedding I attended I gave 20€ and asked for it to be given to a charity both the bride and groom had worked for in Uganda.

The two before that I gave nothing. As I says, it they're spunking 10-35(!)k on a wedding I assume that they've got enough cash to afford a holiday or Wedgwood set without me having to chip in. If they haven't, then more fool them.

If you know some one well enough to go to their wedding you should be able to come up with a good present.

I hate giving cash.

I don't think it's any worse than a wedding list tbh. Though having said that I'm on the fence about the wedding list, as grim a thing as it is, it saves a lot of thought.

Mate of mine had a cunning plan- instead of gifts, they asked for donations to a favourite charity. The cunning part is, after the wedding he said "Right, that's my karma account well in the black, I'm never donating to charity again".

Really poor etiquette and very cheap.

Cash is a complete no-no. Ask for vouchers instead as suggested above.

I find it hard to believe people get so worked up about it either way.

I'd question that, I firstly want to know what type of laminate you will be using in the toilet and if the rest of the money was going towards the removal of glass crystals and dream catcher wind chimes.

😆

We did, but that's beacuse we were moving to Australia in a month's time and it's a damned sight easier to carry than a 48 piece crockery set. Our friends who were soon to move off Guernsey had the same motivation at their wedding.

Basically something along the lines of "we don't want presents because of xyz, however if you feel you want to provide a gift, money towards abc would be very appreciated"

I have no problem with giving cash. However I hate wedding lists, I always get the cheapest/most horrid thing on it. This in the past has been a toilet brush. Kitchen roll holder etc

I got pissed off when wedding list are from John Lewis etc etc. Would much prefer to give cash than buy a shitty over priced toaster, just because its on JL's wedding list when they have a perfectly good Argos one at home.

I have a bit of an issue with Wedding lists, mostly because people just put thoughtless tat on them (had a list a few years back that had a kitchen bin on it)

However I also think asking for cash is slightly taking the p*ss.

I also think giving people a free reign can be scary, as you'll end up with a load of sh*t you don't even like.

When we got married we asked people to send donations to the local kids hospice, or to donate to a charity of their choice. No idea how much it raised, but it meant we didn't end up with loads of vases and toasters we didn't want/like.

Is it ok to ask for cash as opposed to getting clocks ,tea sets and george forman grills.

In my opinion no. If you can afford a fancy wedding you shouldn't be asking for cash and if you can't afford a fancy wedding, you certainly shouldn't be having one.

The only exception would be if the couple are very young and just starting out, in which case I wouldn't mind helping them out with setting up a home etc as long as the wedding was appropriately modest....

We went to wedding recently where the B&G had spent £30k on a very posh set up and were asking for cash for the honeymoon. We didn't give any as it just seemed ridiculous, they could have just spent less and funded their own honeymoon.

I'm not sure on this one. I think vouchers is better - if people are not buying "a thing" then they tend to want to know how the money they are putting in is going to benefit the couple, and not just get spunked in the pub.

Last couple of weddings I went to the couples asked for cash towards their honeymoon. OH and I didn't put anything in, simply because it cost us to travel to attend these weddings, stay over in a hotel etc, we couldn't afford to fork out on top of that. We explained it to the bride and groom and they were fine with it. The last wedding we went to OH was an usher, had been on the expensive overseas stag do, paid for his own suit hire, we'd paid for the travel, hotel room etc, so we just couldn't afford to spend any more on it. So if you are going to ask for cash, be prepared that some people may not be able to afford to contribute in that way.

We didn't give any as it just seemed ridiculous, they could have just spent less and funded their own honeymoon.

but you would have been happy to give them something that they didn't want instead..?

but you would have been happy to give them something that they didn't want instead..?

As is the STW way

A voucher's just a faulty £10 note.

A voucher's what?

I wonder if it would be acceptable to ask for bike shop vouchers as a wedding present.....

Pedantry fail Zokes. Voucher's -> Voucher is. It's a contraction, not a misappropriated apostrophe.

oooooooof! Nothing hurt's more than a pedantry fail

With many B&G's desperately trying to get a deposit together for a house I can thoroughly understand asking for cash but I do feel that it should clearly stated as 'for something' serious and not just beer tokens.

I also think that it's good form to offer the alternative of a charitable donation so that conscientious objectors to 'funding your lifestyle' have an option, it also makes you look less grasping.

Please note that this doesn't include couples who spunk £30K on getting married in a castle in the back of beyond that costs everyone a fortune in flights and hotels, for them your presence is enough of a gift and expecting cash on top is taking the piss a bit.

D'oh 😳

just put on the wedding invite "no boxed gifts please"
i've seen many invites like this...
TBH all the weddings i go to are asian ones and nowadays no-one gives boxed gifts...i think there is an unwritten rule that cash in an envelope is acceptable...i always prefer to give cash...let the new couple decide what they want to do spend it on...when i got hitched 7 years ago the total cash gifts we got was about £6k...
i expect my invite in the post OP 😀

but you would have been happy to give them something that they didn't want instead..?

As they can afford to blow £30k on a wedding, I don't think they should be asking for anything.

We get married in 10 days time, and our invite has a list of our favourite charities and said 'if you're feeling generous, please make a donation'.

I think as long as you explain what it's for it's fine. Last 3 weddings I have been to all had a honeymoon fund. People are renting for longer and getting married later, I'd rather have/give money towards a house or the honeymoon rather than a new toaster or silver plated gravy jug.