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Films that are best left unwatched

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I watched Ministry Of... on a flight a couple of weeks ago and enjoyed it.  A couple of hours of pure light hearted nonsense entertainment.


 
Posted : 14/11/2024 11:20 am
 DrJ
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I find another issue with modern films is they are just too long – take Killers of the Flower Moon,

Another one I really liked 🙂

Lost in Translation is typical Sofia Coppola - quiet observation rather than car chases and shoot-outs.


 
Posted : 14/11/2024 12:01 pm
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Hostel, Hostel 2, Hostel 3.

You'd think I'd learn.


 
Posted : 14/11/2024 12:11 pm
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The Joker. Someone asked me if I could recommend it, I said it is a good film but not a nice film, so probably couldn't recommend it.

There are loads of art-house films like this, fascinating premise, incredible cinematography but too graphic or disturbing to be enjoyed IMO.


 
Posted : 14/11/2024 12:41 pm
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Hang on a minute - did I get this question to the house wrong? My film I chose, I've never seen nor would I.


 
Posted : 14/11/2024 1:05 pm
sirromj and sirromj reacted
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I'm a big fan of the Alien franchise, but "you blow, I'll do the fingering" is a contender for me.


 
Posted : 14/11/2024 1:17 pm
funkmasterp, BoardinBob, funkmasterp and 1 people reacted
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I get that by this point Bond was filmed a bit ‘camp’ on purpose,

The thing with a lot of the Moore era Bond was, it was utterly ridonculous, but Moore knew it was daft and was having the time of his life with it. It was a brickbat away from Mrs Slocombe's pussy and he loved every minute of it. They're joyous for that reason alone.

I love Daniel Craig's take on Bond, but they're very different films. You'd never have got Roger Moore tied into a chair being repeatedly whacked in the bollocks, he'd have narrowly escaped using his wris****ch laser before the first swing.


 
Posted : 14/11/2024 4:31 pm
doris5000, diggerythedog, johnny and 5 people reacted
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Yeah, fair analysis...For the time they were made, and I think everyone accepted that (Live and Let die excepted which I think was played straight). 40 years hence, they're pretty awful, and not in a "Ooooh, you are awful" Dick Emery stylee, just awful. Imean, OK they're aren't fake Chinese baddies in them, but still; at least Dr No didn't try to flee the crime scene verrry slowlyyyy in a airship that has his name emblazoned in 40 ft high letters on its side, eh?


 
Posted : 14/11/2024 4:50 pm
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Did someone say art-house?

I give you Dogville. One of the strangest films ive ever seen, it was "good" and I'll happily never watch it again.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0276919/


 
Posted : 14/11/2024 5:37 pm
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Posted : 14/11/2024 6:47 pm
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You’d never have got Roger Moore tied into a chair being repeatedly whacked in the bollocks

Potentially causing him to raise both eyebrows? As the director yells "Give us pain Roger!"


 
Posted : 14/11/2024 6:57 pm
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The Craig bond films might technically be “better” but I know what I’d rather watch for the umpteenth time on a rainy Sunday afternoon!


 
Posted : 14/11/2024 7:40 pm
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and yes, blair witch project.

I missed this earlier, The Blurred Witch Project is a really good shout. By the end I was rooting for the witch. I've half a mind to rewatch it just to see whether it was as godawful as I remember.

I think there's a special place in hell for films that just stop. Was it No Country For Old Men with that Spanish bloke with the big nose? I was sat there thinking "wow, they're leaving it until the last minute to resolve all this" and then inexplicably the credits roll while he's waiting for a bus or something.


 
Posted : 14/11/2024 7:50 pm
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That;s the second Yorgos Lanithmos film mentioned.


 
Posted : 14/11/2024 7:52 pm
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ok...

The Fast and The Furious
2 Fast 2 Furious
The Fast and The Furious; Tokyo Drift
Fast & Furious
Fast Five
Fast & Furious 6
Furious 7
The Fast of the Furious
F9
and finally Fast X

Were obviously all great, even when they jumped that car between the skyscrapers and their cars turned into spaceships and went into space..

... but do NOT bother watching Hobbs & Shaw as it is awful.


 
Posted : 14/11/2024 10:02 pm
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and yes, blair witch project.

Any film thats made to look like a home made video/ 'mock-umentary' with shakey camera work and 'actors' that act like they were paid in pints of beer and dragged out of the local student union bar... just no, stop it.


 
Posted : 14/11/2024 10:19 pm
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Did someone say art-house?

Dear god I’ve sat through some utter tripe in the Cornerhouse/Home over the years on the strength of Guardian five star reviews. Hours of my life I’ll never get back.

Now I work on the principle that if the Guardian absolutely  slates it then it’s probably worth a watch. Guardian five star review? Just no.

One that springs to mind is Gus Van Sants ‘Elephant’. A film about the Columbine high school massacre which is so spirit-crushingly tedious you’d be doing well to stay awake through it. I suppose I should at least be thankful it wasn’t filmed in black and white, in Icelandic, with subtitles. Small mercies.


 
Posted : 15/11/2024 12:15 am
davros and davros reacted
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I think there’s a special place in hell for films that just stop. Was it No Country For Old Men with that Spanish bloke with the big nose?

People go on about how NCFOM is one of the greatest films of all time. I know its purposefully bleak and its a stylistic thing just to end with no resolution, but I thought it was bobbins.


 
Posted : 15/11/2024 10:42 am
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on the strength of Guardian five star reviews.

The rule of thumb in our house is the amount of stars that Peter Bradshaw gives any movie is inversely proportional to actual enjoyment you'll get from said movie.


 
Posted : 15/11/2024 10:51 am
binners and binners reacted
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Dear god I’ve sat through some utter tripe in the Cornerhouse/Home over the years on the strength of Guardian five star reviews. Hours of my life I’ll never get back.

Funnily enough just last night I was musing over the time I went to the Cornerhouse to watch a four hour Lars Von Trier supernatural horror thing, at lunchtime on a Sunday. I accidentally went clubbing the night before and thus went straight from the afterparty at a random's house to the Cornerhouse, without sleeping, still somewhat off my chops. Luckily there was an interval after 2 hours, as I needed a couple of swift pints to reset the levels.

I don't remember much about the film


 
Posted : 15/11/2024 10:51 am
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on the strength of Guardian five star reviews.

We had a similar rule in place for one of our housemates at uni (late 90's) who reckoned himself as a bit of a film buff. He raved about The Big Lebowski, kept quoting dialogue from it, told us how much we'd love it. As soon as it was available on VHS, he bought a copy and arranged a viewing party, told us it'd be the best night in ever.

We all thought it was total shite. (I know it's Coen brothers, cult classic etc but nope, just didn't work for us).

It wasn't the first or last film he did this with but it's the one that sticks in my memory.


 
Posted : 15/11/2024 12:24 pm
 DrJ
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Now I work on the principle that if the Guardian absolutely  slates it then it’s probably worth a watch. Guardian five star review? Just no.

Substitute "STW" for "The Guardian" and you've pretty much got my rule of thumb 🙂


 
Posted : 15/11/2024 12:24 pm
johnny and johnny reacted
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Dune2.... New on Sky today... watched it this morning... Jeeez it was... well.... Poor !!!!


 
Posted : 15/11/2024 12:30 pm
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The Big Lebowski

We all thought it was total shite.

You are all very much in the wrong here 🙂


 
Posted : 15/11/2024 12:38 pm
hightensionline, johnny, el_boufador and 7 people reacted
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The Craig bond films might technically be “better” but I know what I’d rather watch for the umpteenth time on a rainy Sunday afternoon!

Carry On Up The Khyber?


 
Posted : 15/11/2024 12:40 pm
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People go on about how NCFOM is one of the greatest films of all time. I know its purposefully bleak and its a stylistic thing just to end with no resolution, but I thought it was bobbins.

My thoughts entirely.

A guy I worked with said I had to watch it on like a weekly basis.(*) In the end I watched it to get him off my case. He looked crestfallen when I told him it was "OK." And it is I suppose, it's OK, I've certainly watched plenty worse. It just left me feeling robbed. Like, you're watching a TV show and suddenly it goes "TO BE CONTINUED..." and you yell "bastards!" at the screen, only it was without the excitement or a part 2.

(* - That is, he said it weekly, I only had to watch it the once.)


 
Posted : 15/11/2024 12:52 pm
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People go on about how NCFOM is one of the greatest films of all time.

It's a Coen brothers movie. Well, to be precise, it's a variant of the Coen brothers movie, they've made the same basic movie multiple times. There's a bag of money and anyone who chases the money runs into misfortune. I thought it was pretty good, darkly funny, excellent cast, but if you're not into watching another iteration of the Coen brothers movie, you obviously won't like it.


 
Posted : 15/11/2024 1:04 pm
hightensionline, johnny, johnny and 1 people reacted
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I quite like films and series that don't tie everything up neatly for the viewer. I can see how that might frustrate someone who expects that, and NCFOM is a perfect example of it. You don't even see the main character's death, and you don't know what happens to Chigurh. But there is still a story, beautifully told, in there. To be left wondering about stuff is sometimes quite productive, because it makes you think about the central themes of fate, random chance, and whether the 'hero' should prevail, and the 'villain' get his comeuppance. Who's the good guy in NCFOM - is there one?


 
Posted : 15/11/2024 3:10 pm
hightensionline, pisco, davros and 13 people reacted
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Kill list - I may get flamed for that opinion.

My wife also hated Dead mans shoes more that any other film she'd sat through until we watched The Dead, a South African zombie movie that was just THE WORST.

I'm a big Kevin Smith fan, but Tusk is just self indulgent bilge.


 
Posted : 15/11/2024 5:11 pm
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It’s a Coen brothers movie. Well, to be precise, it’s a variant of the Coen brothers movie

It's an incredibly accurate adaptation of the Cormac McCarthy book. Both are utterly brilliant. So grateful that I don't need STW to choose my reading and viewing experiences!


 
Posted : 15/11/2024 5:23 pm
jameso, Earl_Grey, johnny and 7 people reacted
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The Craig bond films might technically be “better” but I know what I’d rather watch for the umpteenth time on a rainy Sunday afternoon!

The Craig Bond films, or the Bourne films. I saw a few of the original Bond films at the cinema with my dad. They’re really exciting when you’re a ten year old…


 
Posted : 15/11/2024 10:06 pm
doomanic and doomanic reacted
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If we're doing films I hated that everyone else loved, how about The Lego Movie?

Going back a bit, (and I love Alan Rickman), but thought that Truly, Madly, Deeply was one of the most awful things I'd ever sat through!


 
Posted : 15/11/2024 10:43 pm
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I know this will be controversial because there was a thread when it came out where dissenters like me faced a pitchfork mob. The Banshees of Inisherin.  I know, I know -  I'm a philistine who missed all the clever sub texts, too thick to get it or whatever, but I've never watched a bleaker, more joyless, pointless dirge of a film in my life.  I'd rather shove wasps up my arse than be made to watch it again.


 
Posted : 15/11/2024 11:01 pm
myti, AD, Fat-boy-fat and 5 people reacted
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how about The Lego Movie?

Children seem to enjoy it, important seeing as it's a kid's movie.


 
Posted : 15/11/2024 11:02 pm
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It's weird, because a lot of adults were raving about it too, so I was expecting more of a Toy Story experience rather than an Emoji Movie one!


 
Posted : 16/11/2024 12:48 am
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Skyline

Battle Los Angeles


 
Posted : 16/11/2024 2:00 am
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Haha, lots of my favourite films mentioned in this thread.

I've liked/loved all other Quentin Tarintino films, but have tried to watch Jackie Brown twice and not made it to the end.


 
Posted : 16/11/2024 4:02 am
leffeboy and leffeboy reacted
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Pretty much anything with Jack Black in it.


 
Posted : 16/11/2024 7:52 am
thols2, oldnpastit, oldnpastit and 1 people reacted
 DrJ
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Pretty much anything with Jack Black in it.

At last, an opinion I can agree with:-)


 
Posted : 16/11/2024 8:34 am
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Saltburn was pretty terrible imo.

I agree with Hereditary/Midsommar too. I hate those kinds of horrors where nothing really happens.


 
Posted : 16/11/2024 8:51 am
milan b., Fat-boy-fat, milan b. and 1 people reacted
 DrJ
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Saltburn was pretty terrible imo.

It was pretty dire. But wait till you see the sequel - Redcar.

On the subject of Redcar, why is Christine (and the Queens) now calling herself Redcar?  What next - Taylor Swift, now known as Skinningrove?


 
Posted : 16/11/2024 10:00 am
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Oh yeah the Bourne films! I watched the first one, and for the first half I thought it was a very deft satire, if a little bit lacking in laughs. Then I realised it wasn't a actually a satire, and i didn't bother watching to the end. Pretty ropey tbh.

I did like the Lego movie though, despite being about 40 and not watching with any kids...


 
Posted : 16/11/2024 12:05 pm
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+1 Deadpool 3. Utter gash. Mind, probably doesn’t help that I’ve (thankfully) got no idea about the whole ‘universe’ thing.


 
Posted : 16/11/2024 1:11 pm
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The Substance

Watched it tonight, what a crock of shit


 
Posted : 17/11/2024 9:58 pm
 myti
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Gladiator 2 sigh. Should have known


 
Posted : 17/11/2024 10:09 pm
vww and vww reacted
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