[Closed] Family Wedding dilemma

£1500 for a long weekend in Ireland is ridiculous - how is it costing so much? Can't you just go for one night?

Wife goes alone?

I would tactfully suggest she goes on her own..

Day Trip ?
Cant see how that would cost more than £600.
Still not cheap , but keeps the peace . Get a 0900 flight out and 2100 flight home .
Job done .

Sounds heartless, but ditch the kids. £1500 for a weekend where one/both of you can't drink and where you both go to bed early? Not happening.

Or wife goes alone.

Or try shopping around. I'm pretty sure a weekend for 2+2 could be done cheaper than £1500.

Breaks down into:
Flights - £530
Airport Parking - £30
Car hire is Ireland - £100 (its in the middle of nowhere)
Hotel - £400
Dog Kennel - £90
Cattery - £30
So thats c.£1200, plus petrol, food & drink for the weekend for a family of 4

It's a lot of money, and people need to realise that not everyone has the luxury of that amount of expendable. If you genuinely can't do it cheaper, By perhaps roughing it a little, then I don't think you or your wife are being unreasonable in turning their invite down. It's a shame to miss it, but your not the ones making the decision to get married abroad.

Are the kids on school holiday that week? Could you go for longer and call it your annual family holiday?

I'd guess she wouldn't go on her own but its a thought.

Edit: its not half-term so we couldn't turn it into the main family holiday, which was my first thoughts

£90 for kennel 😯

Send mrs on her own.

What age children?

If young enough look for cheaper flights and go for longer. Impose on the local family, they are family after all.

I sounds like you don't want to go, so don't.

It's daft isn't it, the price of things. £400 for the hotel? Is that just for one night?

£1500 is a lot of money but I would say it has to be your wife's call; it's her brother after all. I would err on the side of encouraging her rather than discouraging her though.

Children are school aged 9 & 5, the extended family are the brother in law's partners extended family, cousin and such at a guess so total strangers to us.

We could get my mum to possibly look after the kids & dog (she never has before), I'll have a dig on that one to see if its a goer.

Go by ferry and take your own car and stay in a cheaper hotel

Where do you live? Couldn't one of us off here take care of your pets at least? I know that my kids would love to, and as long as your animals are nice, I can't imagine that there isn't some family somewhere that wouldn't mind a couple of days with a dog and/or cat.

As for the plane, is it really necessary? My family and I travel by our own vehicle all the time in order to save money, and just use the ferry. It may mean adding on a bit of travel time, but it would only be a few hours compared to check-in and all the faff of an airport.

Then the only thing you have left to worry about is the accommodation, and you could either a) camp, or b) stick to the same hotel, which, minus the other expenses, becomes more feasible.

EDIT: If not, it sounds like a solo trip for your wife.

Go by ferry and take your own car and stay in a cheaper hotel

+1 to that. No way should a long weekend ANYWHERE cost £1500

If you were planning on having a family holiday anyway, why not turn this long weekend [i]into[/i] the family holiday - longer stay, somewhere cheaper - self catering perhaps?; B&B for one night local to the wedding; own car + ferry

Mrs_d & I went to CANADA for a wedding a couple of years ago; we went for two weeks with car hire, flights, not-cheap hotels & that came to less than £3000, so no way would I spend anywhere near half of that on a[i] weekend[/i] in Ireland

Thanks for all the input guys (& pet sitting offer 🙂 ), we'll investigate some of the cheaper option to see what we can bring it down too. Otherwise I'll try and get the wife to go on her own.

Will either of the kids fit in a suitcase?

Suitcases are extra and I don't think they'll fit in the carry on bags...

organise a party for them in the uk it would be cheaper?

had same dilemma for germany wedding and the [ex] wife went alone though we genuinely could not afford it at the time anyway so less choices.

that is a lot if you are on a budget and would just say I could not affordit , others will be in the same boat I assume

I wasn't paying so didn't look for better value but a recent car + 4 on the Liverpool > Dublin ferry was £700 return

The Ferry is £300 so plus fuel will be around £450, as we live in the SE and the Wedding is on the West coast of IRL but still that's a bit of a saving. Will look at cheaper hotels on route and only stay at the main one @ 150 euro per night for the Wedding night.

The Ferry is £300 so plus fuel will be around £450,

Don't forget breakdown insurance

Whereabouts in the west coast is it?

£120 for the dog n cat? I will come and do a house swap with you and save you the cash 🙂

I'm with your wife going on her own. Her family and their choice to marry in a foreign country despite all immediate family being UK. She should be at her brother's wedding but there is no need for everyone to go.

If she arranges to be on the same flights as other family members then hopefully she could get a lift. So the cost is down to two flights and the accommodation for her.

Just explain to them why only she is going so they know it is only financial reasons.

Could you turn it into a week's holiday?

Its nr. Westport

Can't really turn it into a weeks holiday as my son's sats could be sometime around then, the school hasn't and I think don't give a firm date to when they are. Also my wife is volunteering as a Teaching Assistant at my daughters school and is getting positive feedback, we're hoping something may came of that so she wants to keep to the "rules" so to speak.

From all of the above feedback, I think we should try and do it via ferry in two nights or she should go without us.

it's like de ja vu reading this - Wifes brother, Wedding in Ireland and all family in England - it ended up costing serious money ( for the wifes dad thankfully and greatfully) though flights were still £400 quid i could have done without - that was my last years holiday done for for a rainy wedding in ireland....

and the booze wasn't free..

DONT DO IT..

Rail and sail London to Sligo or Galway is 55 for adults, half price for under 16's and free for under 5's.

[i]We could get my mum to possibly look after the kids & dog (she never has before), I'll have a dig on that one to see if its a goer. [/i]

Your mum hasn't looked after the kids/dog before, and they are 5 and 9..., not sure a foreign w/e is a good place to start.

But price-wise it adds up, 4 off you for a long weekend plus dog/cat - send them a card to read at the wedding.

[i]Rail and sail London to Sligo or Galway is 55 for adults, half price for under 16's and free for under 5's. [/i]

Great idea..., I take it you've neither kids nor wasted a weekend travelling

I would ask your wife if she wanted to go alone. I'm assuming that she's suggested not going at all because as a family you do most things together and she knows you can't afford it.

And drop the kids and animals at your Mums so you can go on a biking weekend in Wales, obviously 💡

Unless you WANT to go then maybe just Mrs. Got to say if it involved driving the width of Ireland on top of flights I would completely forget it. I did a weeks driving tour of Ireland a few yearrs back.and making good progress is hard work. Too much hassle and cost when it could (and possibly should) have been in London from what you have described. I think in those circumstances we would put family finances and the major aggro above other things.

People go a bit funny when getting married and forget that not everyone thinks their wedding is the most important thing in the world.

Either send wife on her own or leave kids with your mum. sounds like yr mum's been slacking on the babysitting anyway.

If you can't afford it then don't go.

Honestly dude - if it's important to her - let her go on her own and you look after the dog, cat, kids. She just has to say that you're working / doing an interview etc.

After near 20 years married - there is no hang up going to stuff on your own. Most importantly - let her decide.

Anyway - I grew up near that neck of the woods so detail wise - Westport is nearish to Knock airport. AerArran (and I think Ryanair fly there) - what's your local airport? A taxi from Knock to Westport return might well (or just) be cheaper than car hire.

Anything and everything in Ireland is expensive (Government borrowing gone mad means taxes etc). Especially car hire. There is no getting around it really.

What tyres for riding peat bogs? 8)

FWIW I got married in Co Mayo, had the reception in Westport and did it before the bubble burst, when the Irish tourist industry were still seriously taking the Michael with their prices.

Sounds like the inlaws havent pushed for the best possible prices for direct family. You will be filling a hotel and the function room's bar till for a weekend, they should be bending over a bit more IMO. The margins in these places are always behind the bar and thats their priority.
Either that or you had better not pay a penny after setting foot in the hotel, but I'm sure that your wife will be talking to her parents about that...

If so many of you are travelling from England, things can be shared with others in similar situations, such as car hire. Don't think for a moment that you and your wife are the only ones stewing over how to make it affordable. Ask around, you'll end up running a shuttle service from the airport.

For the kids, do yourselves the favour and leave them with your mother. Sounds like shes due a visit from the grandchildren!

Anyway now, the craic will be mighty and you'd be an eejit to miss it so. Slainte!

PS. The potholes eat cars whole out west, you have been warned.

Sorry but if they want to get married over there that's their choice. Why should you & yours go without a summer hol for someones romantic wedding plans...

Wife & I tied the knot in The Gambia. Couple of her side came out, but none my side because I'd told them not too. We threw a big party back here & had the wedding blessed. Nothing winds me up like folk chucking £20k on something to impress relatives.

Stay at home, send a card. If he cares about her he will understand.

Apologise,but tell him you will definitely go to his next one!!!

Lets face it, the brother is not fussed if his immediate family attends, he is more interested in the extended family or the image of marrying abroad, or perhaps into getting away from his family for the wedding.

You don't have weddings in expensive and difficult to get to places if you have any true desire for your immediate friends and family to be able to be there, unless the people concerned are all very well off and you know the cost / travel to obscure places / inconvenience will not hit them in any way. The fact he has chosen somewhere in the middle of nowhere in addition to being abroad underlines his disinterest in people being able to attend the wedding even more.

Seems to me the problem is not your wife's dilemma on whether to go but the fact that her brother does not care if she is there at all, or what penalty she and her family have to make to please a brother who is indifferent to her and her financial/family situation. If he is well off, has he offered to financially help anyone get there? Has he chosen a location where there are plenty of places to stay and therefore people can get at least good room rates and easy transport to the area.

Seems to me its a bit of a kick in the face to your wife and anyone else who is not well heeled in his family and I would not bother going just due to his clear indifference to her and others in her position.

If he was close to her, why would he do this? If he is not emotionally close, why bother to go?

Weddings are rubbish dont go.

Lets face it, the brother is not fussed if his immediate family attends, he is more interested in the extended family or the image of marrying abroad, or perhaps into getting away from his family for the wedding.

Or maybe he's just getting married where him and his partner want to tie the knot? If he got shitty because people can't make it then fair enough. I got married in a place where 90% of my relatives couldn't attend. I don't think I was being inconsiderate, just doing what was sensible for us.

Skype wedding.

Midnighthour

I think that may be a tad harsh - he may never have even thought about that aspect or is simply agreeing with his wifes to be opinion.