[Closed] Family secrets

Everyone has secrets..... everyone!
I don't think this is generally a bad thing. When exactly is the right to broach events from a families past? In some ways there never is a good time?

Midnighthour you mentioned this young girl was 12 years old when she accidentaly found about the truth. At what age would you have preferred her to find out about a family Murder/suicide? 12 years old is still young.
Maybe the family were waiting untill she was older to tell her the news. I wouldn't really say it was decpicable for them to keep it from her at that age. Just out of interest how old was the brother who she had to keep it from? I'm assuming under 12yrs.

At some stage I will have to tell my kids that their Grandad / my Dad took his own life. I've never really thought about it to be honest but after you mention this it does make me wonder when will the right time be. I certainly won't be making a big deal about it though and sitting them down for a chat. I imagine at some stage they'll start to ask questions. At that point I guess i'll decide for myself if I think they're old enough to take it all in. Who know's

I married my grandmother, then divorced her after I realised she was having an affair with my ex wife. I then proceeded to marry my cousin Mary, but found out she wasn't really my cousin, but my sister. I didn't mind too much though, her cooked breakfasts were great.

We don't keep any secrets in our family, we're very open in our relationships. I'm now married to uncle Bernie, I thought her name stood for 'Bernadette' but it turns out it stands for 'Bernard.' There's nothing civil about that partnership, let me tell you.

At some stage I will have to tell my kids that their Grandad / my Dad took his own life.

Do you? What's so wrong with keeping stuff like that a secret?

If they ask and I feel they are old enough to take it in then I'll tell them. I'm not going to lie to my children and the fact that he was in his 40's when he died is bound to bring the whole "how did he die" question at some point. Apart from that its a matter of public record on his death certificate so something they could easily find out at any point when doing a family tree for instance. Something like this I would want them to hear from me and not find out they've been lied too.

Aracer, lots of other reasons for and against I am sure, but if you ever see someone for your own mental health problems, a family history is of great value to your assessment and treatment. Just because you don't know your granparent took their own life that doesn't mean you may not still be more predisposed to do so yourself for both biological and psychosocial reasons. It is somenthing else to get preoccupied about of course, but as a professional I would still rather know that about my own family than not know.