[Closed] Ex-gf advice needed

Get yourself there and get it on with her

Simples

I find strangulation is the fairest method of dealing with exes.

Do you have a new lady in your life or have you had one since?

Drink beer. Lots of beer.

This may sound alittle stalkerish but I'd facebook her 'say hi, not seen you in a longtime, going to the do etc'. Abit of talking should ease your mountain of nerves.

TBH she may say something like 'got married last year'. Which to be honest will give you an immediate pang of pain but then peace.

I met up with my ex and it confirmed all my concerns that I was having over her (even though I loved her dearly at the time. I ended it). At the end of the meeting I went away and had a good cry and moved on with my life.

You'll probably turn up & wonder what all the fuss was about*
.
.
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* But you might not.

7 years is a long time....

I guess it depends on why you broke up, but I would go...

I bet the night will not turn out as bad as you expect..

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😆

I've quite a few ex-gf's in my social circles - what i find helps is when they you are there sit thinking about the consequences of what would happen if you went over and said "can you remember that time we ....... in the shower" as an example.

Then walk away.

HTH
😉

Seriously though 7 years 😯

Yes Hora it does.

just go, you won't have to spend any time with her if her if you don't want to, just say hello and enjoy the rest of the night.

High class escort. 😉

TBH she may say something like 'got married last year'.

Or.. [i]"Little Suzy is seven now. Where have you been??"[/i]

More details needed. Why would you be nervous about meeting an old girlfriend that you've not seen for the best part of a decade. Unless there is more to this than meets the eye then I'd say go, be friendly, have a chat about old times then go mingle with other people. Have a laugh, life is far too short to dwell on the what could haves beens.

Good times if she turns up with an ugly looking fella. Hard times if he's better looking than you.

Well, in the absence of a reply, my advice would be to hire a [edit: very expensive] prostitute (just to look good on your arm naturally), get wildly drunk, make a scene and then have a breakdown.

alternatively... MTFU?

😆

I think you should consider growing up acting like an adult, going to the Birthday and if needs must exchange polite conversation.

Do you work in IT by any chance!!!

Quote of the day award goes to : Zulu

My ex was stunning which made me abit uncomfortable but as soon as we got talking the memories cameback. It sounds like she ended it OP- could we ask why?

I think you'll find that you loved the girl she was at uni but now you'll barely have anything in common and she'll have changed interms of what she likes etc. Probably will look fairly similar mind (unless shes a female mountain biker) 😆

Take the hottest looking female friend you have with you to the party, go late, get drunk, stay for a few hours. Let your friend know the circumstances, friends usually help you out. 😉

OP, pull yourself together, pathetic 🙄

go
get drunk
try and get off with her
cry

Hire a pastel baby blue tux, and moonwalk your ass into the party. Tell her that you won the lottery and your a millionaire now.

My ex was stunning which made me abit uncomfortable

She only exists in your head, doesn't she?

This thread is only going one way....

Yeah, I'd say man up and go. I don't mean that in a laddish way, I just mean bite the bullet. If you don't go you're only gonna wish you had.

EX
---

As all good things go...she left 😥

Joking apart- as muppetwrangler said, what is it that worries you about it? Did splitting up cause a lot of hurt? Is she a psycho? Do you still have feelings for her?

I'd tend to agree with the High Class Escort suggestion, added bonus being you're guaranteed to get your willy wet at the end of the party.

It can only end well. Either she's a unit now and you get to feel smug or she's still a belter, in which case even if you don't get any luck you'll still get a good letch and new material for "the bank".

Do you still have feelings for her?

Thats abit obvious. However I think its actually a case of he had strong feelings for what she used to be.

Sorry SamB i hope someone has actually contacted you in a thoughtful and considerate fashion but im not hopeful.

You're there for your mate, not her or yourself.

Seriously, you need to move on otherwise you'll continually think "what might have been". The simple fact is you broke up then and probably for good reason.

Don't look back as you'll only ever see regret.

Consider the possibility that you may meet someone else there? Your ex may even bring a friend and you could end up liking them?

Look on it as an opportunity to face what are clearly big demons, but they're of your own making.

Thanks everyone so far 🙂

In order then:
- no chance of getting it on with her (even if I keep thinking about it, argh!) - she's married (mutual friends told me, I guess hoping it would help me move on)
- have had a couple of 2-year relationships and a couple of 6-month ones, currently single
- I've blocked her on facebook - didn't think seeing posts from her or news would help in the moving on process

I think the thing that worries me is that splitting up was very painful (it was my fault entirely - acting like an idiot) and I think I do still have feelings for her. The acid test for this is that - if she were to suggest another go - I'd say yes 😕

It'll be fine, I had to do this recently.

A. You'll get along great and it'll be a good night.
B. You'll get along great, it'll be a good night, and you'll scuttle her.
C. You'll get along fake great for 30minutes and then have a good night with your mates.

Of course you could go for option D like I did. Get smashed on shots with your mates lesbian partner and then have a crack at tapping her sister, but that's another story.

I've been dumped loads of times and got over all of them.
The minute I got engaged they (well 2) were saying how they had missed out and were jealous. At that point I disliked them even more.
Time should have allowed you to remember all the crap things about her.
Go to the party, look sharp head up chest out. Have the best time ever.
Oh and borrow a wedding ring.

Oh and borrow a wedding ring.

Now this I like 😆

Seriously, you need to move on otherwise you'll continually think "what might have been". The simple fact is you broke up then and probably for good reason.

Sam, after 7 years a 3 other relationships, you are starting to sound a little stalkerish......

You've got to get past this.

If you cannot bear to meet her when she is married, unobtainable and at a mates party, how the hell are you ever going to commit to anyone else. She's gone.

or... you could go with a male escort?....

Sam, after 7 years a 3 other relationships, you are starting to sound a little stalkerish......

Don't think I'm being stalker-ish - I'd be quite happy not to lay eyes on her again. Just having problems moving on, like Stoatsbrother says.

BTW: I do recognise that I've not had [I]that[/I] hard a time of it - no marriage, kids, house etc - just looking for some advice on how to deal with the situation I'm in atm.

Oh and borrow a wedding ring.

KT1973 - Member
Hire a pastel baby blue tux, and moonwalk your ass into the party. Tell her that you won the lottery and your a millionaire now.

Thanks for that. Laughing like Muttley and I've got tea coming down my nose.

Back to the OP. What you need is closure. Smack her husband in the mouth then report yourself to the cops. That should do it.

DO NOT GO PINING AFTER HER.

 

Take me to the do... we can pretend we're gay. Don't push back on this... it'll just be pretending.

On the basis that you clearly aren't over her and she's now married, she was clearly a keeper.

Sory, not helping am I?

Without wishing to sound too sensible getting hammered isnt probably the best way to go (unless of course you plan on getting into a situation which requires you slapping her round the chops with your willy porno style.)

If you havent spoken to her in 7 years (as other have said) you'll probably be amazed at how her opinions have changed and all those things you were attracted to have disappered. I remember meeting an ex at a party once, she proceeded to tell me about how much coke she could snort in one night, needless to say I felt I made the right decision.

Go, have a few (but remember the point above), have a chat with her then find your mates, at the end of the day if its all too much feign illness and get out of there.

I have some advice.

Get a [b]grip![/b]

Not of her.

7 years? [i][u]Really[/u][/i] bitch...7 years? That's not just a torch you're carrying....

On the basis that you clearly aren't over her and she's now married, she was clearly a keeper.

😆

Well Reading between the lines

[b]SamB - Member

I know quite a few people[/b] [s]post[/s] [b]on here for relationship advice[/b] [s]and support, so thought you might be able to help me out.[/s] [b]I'm having some problems[/b] [s]with an ex and need some advice

I broke up[/s] [b]with my ex[/b] [s]from uni at the end of university - 7 years ago.[/s] [b]She was my first[/b] [s]in many ways,[/s] [b]and it took a long time[/b][s], but I thought I'd gotten over it and moved on.[/s]

[b]Yesterday I found out she's going to be[/b] [s]attending the birthday of a mutual friend this weekend, and I am[/s] [b]absolutely[/b] [s]dreading it. As in, I spent half an hour shaking last night when I got the news. I'm[/s] [b]in two minds now whether to[/b] [s]go to the[/s] [b]party or not.[/b] [s]On the one hand,[/s] [b]I don't want to miss[/b] [s]a[/s] [b]good[/b] [s]friend's major birthday, and it feels like I should maybe face this[/s] [b]head[/b] [s]on. On the other,[/s] [b]I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a[/b] [s]horrible[/s] [b]time[/b][s], no matter what interaction (or lack of) I have[/s] [b]with my ex.[/b]

[b]Any advice? I'm really having a difficult time with this right now[/b].

Get a grip!

That's going to make either Molly or Mrs Grips a little unhappy, one would've thought.

"That's going to make either Molly or Mrs Grips a little unhappy, one would've thought. "

Don't know what that means but here's a 😀 anyway......

Sounds like a cue for a thread. Best getting dumped songs, Since I Started Drinking Again by Dwight Yoakam. Works for me.

Her life is none of your business, go to the party, say hello and talk to other people. Unless being miserable makes you happier?

OP you need to grow something like this 😆

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has she got a sister?

OP you need to grow something like this

is this because some women love the "velcro effect" ?

Wear chaps, take TSY; she will realise you have "moved on" in a VERY different way

Go, say hi and congrats on getting married, then enjoy yourself with others at the party. Do not get drunk and forlorn! There might even be some single/available women there........

samb - you have to go now...

Then we will want a slow drip of information filtering through to this post as to, how you got on, with the odd picture 😉

That should make this post a contender for....

STW 2011 - Forum Post of the year!

Just had a thought if it really bugs you that shes moved on, sleep with her mum, always brightens the mood of a dead relationship 😉

bear in mind that shes probably uncomfortable at the thought of seeing you too

although sounds like shes moved on a bit more!

edit

can we have some before and after pics to see hows she changed in the intervening years?

You should immerse yourself in something you love that makes you feel brilliant before you go - go for a ride, put some really good music on loud, you know what you like doing. Fill yourself up with your own personality so it's bursting out the seams and you have no time to think about her because of how much you're enjoying your life. Then go to the party oozing confidence, looking sharp.

Its good to see that some people on here have learnt nothing from the sexism thread on here a couple of weeks back. 🙄

OP just go, you don't have to get ratted and make a spectacle of yourself. Do you have someone else in your life now? If so take them, but warn them first that an ex will be there.

Ok, some slightly more sensible advice.

Go to the party, mumble a hello, go hide in the kitchen until you're drunk enough to... go and make passes, at all the girls in glasses.

No offence but get over it, it was nearly last century and unless she jilted you at the alter, left you with a bill of epic proportions and buggered off with your best mate/brother/father/sister/mother it's just not worth worrying about.

I'd like to bet she couldn't give a hoot about you being there and may not even notice, or is that the issue?

Go and be cool, can't go wrong.

Suck

We've talked so long, suddenly it's Tuesday
We still don't know
If what we want is wrong--I just love hearing you say
"Oh please don't go"

Darling can't you keep your head next to my head
Oh just stay here
Because I can't fall asleep even in my own bed
Until you're near

No, you'll go away, of course that's not what I want
Oh I've missed you
That's what I thought you'd say but you must know that I can't
Resist you

You suck it all right out of me
You suck it all right out of me

I didn't have to search for you, I knew where you'd be hiding
You astound me
There's nothing I won't do to feel your body sliding
All around me

No, no, no, don't stop, I think I must be dreaming
I'll just hold you
I'm just about to drop, you thrill me with your screaming
I adore you

You suck it all right out of me
You suck it all right out of me
You suck it all right out of me
You suck it all

I kinda know how you feel. I still think of the 'one' every other day since we split 7 years ago (well I thought she was the one).

There have been a lot of other women in my life since then (and I mean a lot 😳 ) and I should no longer think about her, but you just can't.

If I was to go to a party knowing she'd be there? I'd probably dread it too.

Oh and when she dumped me, The Streets - Dry your eyes mate was just hitting all the radio stations, It's all I ever heard!

At the risk of offering a sensible response, grow up.

We all have this situation to face at some point in our life, so do what the rest of us do: be polite, enquire after her health, shake her husband by the hand, and then walk away. No need to have this massive hangup.

She's moved on; you've not. You need to face the fact that the only person worried about meeting anyone is you. The fact that she's married points out the fact that she's almost certainly not spent the time pining after you the way you have after her.

Don't get pissed/hire a hooker/preted to have inherited a title. She'll think you're a dick, which will only add to your torment.

Oh, and once this is over, find yourself a real girlfriend, one you can actually spend time with in the here and now, rather than worrying about someone you split with 7 years back.

nickf - Member
Oh, and once this is over, find yourself a real girlfriend, one you can actually spend time with in the here and now, rather than worrying about someone you split with 7 years back

I have the feeling that might be easier that it first sounds

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I'm afraid I'm inclined to agree with nick up there. It's been a long time, you've both moved on completely. When I saw your original post I thought you meant you'd *just* broken up with her. What you're saying here is just silly.

Say hi and have a nice chat. Don't do anything you wouldn't normally do.

Sorry mate but it sounds like you need to grow up a fair bit.

tell her your now gay as the sex you had with females in the last ten years was so unfulfilling..

Worth remembering that 7 years is a VERY long time. In that time my parents have both had cancer twice and recovered, my dad has had 2 back operations, the second of which he is still recovering from but that has left him in a wheel chair, I became an uncle and lost a nephew, I have emigrated and immigrated, had a daughter and got a wife, become fully qualified in my field. I have changed a lot in those 7 years and the fact she is now a lesbian makes me think she is probably not who I was in love with either.

If your ex is married she has changed and if you aren’t speaking then you are still pining after who she was not who she is now.

Go to the party and don’t go out of your way to speak to her but don’t be rude if you do end up chatting and you may well find out you are better off without her. Oh and make sure you have a good wingman and a good excuse for getting out early if it all goes t1ts up

KT1973 offers the only sensible advice on this thread.

Go along, be nice, enjoy yourself & dont forget to ask her husband is she still does the thing with.... the bottle/other girls/her tongue etc etc

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Have a fair few drinks before going, few more when you're there. Drink has a way of making decisions for you... youll be fine

I think you've sort of put her on a pedestal and only remember stuff through rose tinted specs.

Hopefully you may see her in a 'real light' at the party and you never know, Mrs right maybe there.