[Closed] ever thought yourself a miserable fecker?

I know i'm a miserable ****er without anyone else telling me so 🙂

not after I met you I didnt 😉
Hard year Ton no bike riding and you are pissed off only to be expected tbh
Once you are out you will cheer up
Big part of your life and fun time has been removed for a while .
bound too piss you off but it wont be a long term thing as you are a fairly chipper happy go lucky kind of guy
Failing that fist pie someone you hate 😆

As long as you are happy in your own skin then be as miserable as you like.

yes.
to all of that.
it was getting me down.
and people around me were saying i was negative all the time.

so... i just took a bit of time to look at myself and think about things. i still don't particularly like going out much (to bars etc, that is), don't like family do's (unless it's just close family), like my own company (i live alone) etc etc. BUT i am quite content with all of that, and that seems to be okay with those close to me.

you ask how to change- i don't really know! i just DID, you know. i had enough of feeling like it was eating me up, so i just stopped letting it get to me.
i think my heart failure/brush with death helped give me that new perspective on everything too, mind...

No I'm just very boring.

I don't....everybody else does though.
Luckily I don't give a flying fig roll what other people think.

The OP's post is scary, I'd love to say no, But I would honestly have to say yes 🙁

No I'm just very boring.

+1

I did the social, partying, life and soul thing in my twenties. now I just want to stay in. when I go out it is pretty much always bike related. I love it.

There are always a lot more people far worse off. Far far worse off..

I'm ok, it's everyone else.

I'm the same Ton, (except for the bit about finding fault in others.)

Warton are you +1'ing the fact I'm boring? Ha ha 🙂

intimations of mortality?

Yeah, I used to. Compared to lots of the people on this forum I'm a shining ray of sunshine. I therefore try not to spend too much time on here. 😕

even the wife and kids tell me i am a miserable so and so.

That in itself, is a problem. Nagging criticism only makes me more miserable!

Concentrate one the positive people and influences in your life. Family? You can't get rid of them but you don't necessarily owe them your company. Don't feel guilty for wanting to do your thing. It's your life.

p.s. if you're ever oop North (Newcastle way) I still owe you a pint.

I don't live Oop North, and because of this, have far fewer reasons in life to be miserable. 🙂

[img] [/img]

Hmmmmmm

Half drunk and feeling kindly disposed.

I don't see you as that on here although a hard year has clearly taken its toll on you. Don't piss your wife and kids off. My guess as the kind of chap you are you would regret that. If they think you are being a miserable ****er than take the hint. Stop it. Take professional help if you need it.

So take the beauty in simple things = sit on the bench in the park and watch the ducks. Give your kids some bread to feed them.

Life is too short to be miserable. take your pleasure where you see it and where you find it. go and find it.

must say i do like hanging around the house doing nothing these days only like people i want around cannot be arsed with small talk have got over not wanting to ride the bike and enjoying that again, all my problems are out of my control so just make the most of what i have but can never get the up and go at the weekend to do all the things that need doing. just of to have a good talk to myself in the garden.

I like the fact I can pick and choose when to be sociable and when to be a loner, but that's coz I have no dependants, sometimes its lonely but mostly is just how I want it, does that make me miserable?

even the wife and kids tell me i am a miserable so and so.

Family? You can't get rid of them but you don't necessarily owe them your company. Don't feel guilty for wanting to do your thing. It's your life.

absolutely good advice - ditch the wife/kids/grand kids, who needs them? 😕

Cheer up, life is short and very beautiful. There is nothing wrong with being happy with your own company and only having a small group of friends by the way, it's probably the best way to be but to find fault with everyone/everything? that's only going to drag you down and drag your loved ones with you. Every time you think of a fault with someone, think about a time they made you smile. Your username is Ton so I'm guessing your a big guy - so I'd also guess you have a big heart in there somewhere too! Smile and the world smiles with you 😀 Enough schmaltz for you?

Agree with emma82. Steer clear of thinking about other people's faults. Everyone is flawed, no point in dwelling on it.

You've had a pretty dirty year from what I recall. Be a misery if you want to, just make sure your mood improves as your situation does. You are back on a bike now, no?

I know as ive got older im more paricular who i hang with and value time alone.Best thing is u realise theres something going on and are prepared to look at solutions.Probabl;y nothing major going on just a bit of introversion.U ceratinly seem well liked around this forum which is something a lot of peps cant brag about and i enjoy your honest postings and down to earthness.

this may or may not help: but I used to be very angry and miserable, and I eventually got out of it - I was much calmer and accepting of myself and as a result everyone commented on how much calmer and patient I was with other people.

So are you also frustrated with yourself/your limitations or is it just everyone else who is annoying you and you're grand?
Obviously you can try, but I don't think it'll be easy to stop finding fault with other people until you're first calm and forgiving with yourself.

I used to be a grumpy ****er, I got really poorly, I'm not a miserable ****er now.

Despite being a right miserable ****er myself, I never lose sight of the most important thing:

being perky and happy and smiley really really really irritates people. And surely that's more important than anything 😀

I used to be a grumpy ****er, I got really poorly, I'm not a miserable ****er now.

I can confirm that Paulosoxo is right. I had a big health scare a few years back & when I recovered I was a very different person. I'm more mellow, forgiving & things no longer pi$$ me off. I now look on the good things in life & ignore/overcome the bad things.

Life really is too short & we need to make the most of our time here.

I hope you can find a path to contentment Ton & that you can get back out riding again soon.

I'm a Town Councillor........ it's part of the job description!

I am pretty happy about life but it's rarely expressed openly, therefore I may seem quite miserable to other people. Thankfully, I couldn't give a shit.

Cynical, not miserable... and it makes me happy.

If it's doing your head in, and upsetting your wife and kids, maybe worth asking for some professional help?

As a natural introvert who prefers my own company or that of a few close friends I have a serious issue with the pressure that comes from some that there's something wrong with you for not being smiley and cheerful all the time. That's a serious lack of empathy on their part IMO.

The fact is we're all on a scale of introvert/extrovert quiet/chatty and there's nothing wrong with being at either end of the scale.

But if you and people who love you are concerned, worth a chat with the experts IMO

absolutely good advice - ditch the wife/kids/grand kids, who needs them?

not quite what I meant, but hey ho. I wanted to mean you don't have to go out of your way to appease them, just because they think you're miserable. Or whatever.

I like having the "persona" of being grumpy (even though I'm normally not)

It means I get left alone and lead a peaceful life most of the time. 😉

Compared to lots of the people on this forum I'm a shining ray of sunshine. I therefore try not to spend too much time on here.

This. Get off STW!

Been V. miserable for a good few months now (with reason), and on and off for a number of years. Life has dealt me a number of blows I've struggled to deal with, but hopefully I'm starting to now, and though it has nearly broken me several times (3 weeks ago I would have happily given up for good), it is making me stronger in the long run.

The way I'm trying to see it is you have good patches and bad patches, it's like a rollercoaster. Ergo I'm due some good luck soon so that's worth hanging around for! 😉

for what it is worth,i spoke to my wife about this today.
i asked her if she really thought i was a miserable geyt.
she asked why i was asking, i told her that i was worried i was.
she gave me a big cuddle and a kiss and told me that i was not, and when she called me a misery it was in fun.

8)

There is always something to smile about. 😀

no there is'nt!

The OP's post is scary, I'd love to say no, But I would honestly have to say yes

Same here. I'm very selective about who I like, and suspicious of people on first meeting. I don't like group things, either.

Grumpy? Yeah, probably. I'm not going to change though.

Definately a curmudgeon, dunno about miserable ****er, last 18 months were grim due to my lack of full time employment and the impact it was having on the home front. Howevs I got a Job that I love in february, Mrstubing is spending our new found wealth on fripperies and I can have the occasional pint without wondering whether the mortgage is covered.
Stick it out El tonno, the nights darkest just before the prawn or something to that effect.

You know when you read in the paper about some pensioner that died alone and nobody turned up to the funeral and you wonder how that happened? Well those miserable old ****ers had an entire life to make friends and stay involved. You get out what you put in and whilst it might be fine to mooch about in the house on your own in your thirties and forties - avoiding those "family do's" that you dislike so much, it will be a different story when you're seventy-five and you realise you have no friends, you've alienated your entire family and nobody gives a shit about you. Start socialising and being pleasant right now if you don't want to die alone and ignored.

Well those miserable old ****ers had an entire life to make friends and stay involved.

Nice.

So I spose the fact that they may well have suffered from depression or some form of mental illness is something they should have manned TFU about and made an effort to be happy, then?

Well those miserable old ****ers had an entire life to make friends and stay involved

Maybe they did....?

Try these lyrics for size..

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
But heaven knows I'm miserable now

I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
And heaven knows I'm miserable now

In my life
Why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die ?

Two lovers entwined pass me by
And heaven knows I'm miserable now

I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
And heaven knows I'm miserable now

In my life
Oh, why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die ?

What she asked of me at the end of the day
Caligula would have blushed

"You've been in the house too long" she said
And I (naturally) fled

In my life
Why do I smile
At people who I'd much rather kick in the eye ?

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
But heaven knows I'm miserable now

"You've been in the house too long" she said
And I (naturally) fled

In my life
Why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die ?

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/heaven_knows_im_miserable_now_lyrics_smiths_the.html
All about Smiths The: http://www.musictory.com/music/Smiths+The

Yeah but Morrisey is Northern, and by default, miserable. 🙂

No it's true!

Ton, I am exactly like this and like you it is starting to really bug me why I am 🙁

From the 15 people I work with 2 are Scotish and both are the most miserable people i've ever met. One however, by his own admission is happy to be miserable.

Scottish.....hmmmmm, guilty as charged 😕

Bikebouy - not bad for a 14 year old kid.

Morrisey likes to think of himself as a wee bit Irish too doesn't he?
you want miserable lyrics i give you the majesty of [b]"Hardly getting over it"[/b] by Husker Du; almost everone in the song dies! 😀 😀 😀 ❗

Twenty years ago, saw a friend was walking by
And I stopped him on the street to ask him
How it went, and all he did was cry
I looked him in the face, but I couldn't see past his eyes
Asked him what the problem was, he says
"Here is your disguise"

Now he's hardly getting over it
Hardly getting used to getting by
Hardly getting over it
Hardly getting used to getting by

Old man lays down by the railroad tracks
Got no paper in his pocket, got no paper on his back
I asked him what the time was, he says
"Hit the road now, Jack"
Went back to see him next week
He died of a heart attack and died away

Now he's hardly getting over it
Hardly getting used to getting by
Hardly getting over it
Hardly getting used to getting by

Grandma, she got sick, she is going to die
And grandpa had a seizure, moved into a hotel cell and died away
My parents, they just wonder when they both are going to die
And what do I do when they die?

Now I'm hardly getting over it
Hardly getting used to getting by
Hardly getting over it
Hardly getting used to getting by, by