[Closed] ever thought of suicide?

Yes, many times. Have a history of depression and suffer from OCD which is actually far far worse than the depression believe me.

As for the selfish thing, as others have said, far too simplistic. When you get to the point where you contemplate these things you are convinced, or at least i was, that the ones you leave behind will be better off not worse. You feel as though you are a permanent dark presence that takes a lot of the enjoyment from their lives and that they honestly would be better off without you around.

I came very close to ending it all a few years back, when I'd lost all hope, and saw no way of ever being happy or having a normal life again. It was only the thought of what I would be leaving behind that stopped me seeing it through.

A friend at school's dad committed suicide - he couldn't find work as a supply teacher, and his business was going down the pan. His youngest son found him in the garage, dead in his car. Horrible stuff, everyone felt incredibly sorry for the family and the bloke himself, but no-one knew what to say at all. Hard enough when you're an adult to know what to do in that situation, never mind in your mid-teens.

My ex's best friend committed suicide too, at the age of 22. He jumped off a building. No-one knew he was depressed, he'd said he'd be at my then-boyfriend's birthday meal which was a week later. But when they went through his things, they found his diary with the name of the building on the day he committed suicide, and every day after that in the rest of the diary crossed out. Such a waste, he was clever, had loads of friends, a loving family... no-one understood why.

I simply can't begin to comprehend how anyone could contemplate it.

Started typing a reply with all my reasoning etc, but then remembered ynuki has put it in the best way possible, with experience to back it up. Re-read his post.

Personally I could never (excepting debilatating terminal illness) contemplate it. I am far, far stronger than that.

No

Witnessed the aftermath a few times and tbh you have to be a fairly selfish, narcissistic ass to go through with it.

Me neither, but I dispute that suicide is an act of weakness. It must take incredible balls, both physically in terms of the act of doing it, and spiritually in terms of the giant leap into the unknown

It's definitely a regular feature of my life, but then I have a mental illness. Only way I generally describe it is imagine everything in your life that ever gave you pleasure, made life worth living for you, including people, family, work, etc. Ceases to bring pleasure, and even any meaning to your life at all. For completely inexplicable reasons. You're simply reduced to mere existence in a world you cannot relate to on any level.
Suddenly the lines between living, and not living, become very very blurred, even irrelevant.

I should add also that nobody knows what's going on inside people's heads, we all have an inner life. The happy family man with a good job, he may well be going through the motions and projecting a face considered acceptable to the environment he finds himself in.

'Selfishness' is just a desperate attempt to understand by those who cannot comprehend it. When you're seriously depressed, being capable of something as basic as selfishness is wishful thinking indeed!

Oh another question - does a junky or an alcoholic killing themselves with smack or booze qualify? Was George Best in some sense a suicide? Both guys from Alice in Chains?

Not an act of weakness at all, but the selfish actions of someone's son, daughter, lover, friend, mother, father; someone who mattered.

If you have ever got to do it think of those you will leave behind

No, thankfully.

It's always seemed like a permanent solution to a temporary problem, I guess I'm lucky that none of my problems have ever felt permanent.

I've thought about it more than once, but thinking about it and carrying it out are two completly different matters.

I've lost three friends who all commited suicide, one hung himself, another jumped in the path of a lorry, and the third took an overdose which she had done more than once which was normally a cry for help, just this time the drugs coupled with the damage caused by previous attemps meant it was fatal just as her life seemed to be getting sorted.

mortuk2k

'Selfishness' is just a desperate attempt to understand by those who cannot comprehend it. When you're seriously depressed, being capable of something as basic as selfishness is wishful thinking indeed!

POSTED 24 MINUTES AGO # REPORT-POST'

Enlighten me?

One of my best childhood friends stuffed a Browning 9mm in his mouth and blew his brains out. I have spent the past 23 years asking a) why and b) What could I have done?

It's a terrific epitaph - so when you are so up yourself I would personally and selfishly be glad of closure.

Whilst we are at it a childhood chum did a double suicide pact with a mate of his. The forest I was in charge of was where he and his mate did it; met his sis a few years back - what a *** mess.

Hell yes I'm a fan!

Seriously guys; the best I can come up with is, to quote the words of Full Metal Jacket life 'it's a huge * sandwich and we're all gonna have to take a bite!'

Think of the impacts - and apologies if I'm unsympathetic but someone has to pick up the pieces

When times have been tough and things felt like they were irreversably shit , For the briefest of seconds I've thought about throwing myself under something heavy at work. Now I have to point out by the briefest of seconds means the shortest time imagineable but i cant deny the thought was never there at all.
The Millisecond is always chased away by visions of my wife , kids , dog , parents and even riding my bike.
I've lost friends to heroin , suicide and bike accidents , I've also lost family to untimely cancer and to end your life voluntarily seems a waste.

+1

Life is so crap for most of us so PLEASE share the pain.....

Besides you may be worth it after all! 😆

Go easy peeps! 😉

mmmm

seems like most people have, at some point. I wonder what implication this heralds for our current philosophies and/or social structures??

Me? Yes.

Do I think it's cowardly? No - just decisive.

Is it ever the best option? No, no-one knows what's round the corner, E.g. committing suicide with a lottery ticket in your pocket.

I'm off to read bataille whilst drunk

VIV

Good thinking! I know a bloke who gives good odds on Russian Roulette?

Is that like 'not knowing what's round the corner'?

I'm off to read Arthur Scargill's biography wish me luck.........

Life's a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show,
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

selfish ?
my aunt has tried a few times first time whole family was shocked 4 young kids good job marriage etc it did seen selfish police got involved realised they were trying to chase her in a child abuse case turns out she had been abused at local church (she's from very religious family) years back wanted her to.testify years of therapy only seen to have made her worse
happy ending would have her go to court get the tucker sent down and move on with her life making a great home for her kids
the reality is pretty much the opposite of that and has had,a devasyaing affect on my family
I don't ever think id call her selfish though

.Insurance sorted out as well as it would look like an accident.

Not any more it won't.

Seriously though - please don't. You're not terminally ill so if you do it's going to be your own pain multiplied by the number of people who care about you. That would make the world a worse place.

I don't see the people in my life who've chosen to end it as selfish. I'm sorry that some people may.

You're not terminally ill so if you do it's going to be your own pain multiplied by the number of people who care about you.

What do you mean by this? Are you saying that suicide is more acceptable/understandable if you're terminally ill? If so, are there different degrees of social tolerance towards suicide for terminal illness, such as MS versus incurable cancer?

I should add also that nobody knows what's going on inside people's heads, we all have an inner life.

Agreed. However...

'Selfishness' is just a desperate attempt to understand by those who cannot comprehend it. When you're seriously depressed, being capable of something as basic as selfishness is wishful thinking indeed

I had to think very carefully before posting this. In life you have choice. No matter how hard it gets, there will always be people that in some way depend on you; your actions are a key component to how they live their lives. By taking your life you are making the easier choice; by living you accept that the pain you feel may continue or increase, and therefore this (I feel) is true bravery. Is suicide cowardly? I want to be PC and say no, but for me, in my heart, I feel it is, especially if you bring children into the world. I don't think you have the right to give in.

I need to think a little more about this, so I'm going for a ride.

What do you mean by this? Are you saying that suicide is more acceptable/understandable if you're terminally ill? If so, are there different degrees of social tolerance towards suicide for terminal illness, such as MS versus incurable cancer?

Good point. Let's say "unpleasant illness giving intolerable suffering to you with attendant distress to those who care about you", then yes, suicide is more acceptable/understandable. That is why places such as the suicide clinic in Switzerland exist - a dignified way to leave via a moral, informed choice and a civilised procedure.

I have spent the last 10 years of my life working solely with people who self harm and those that have tried to off themselves, I also provide reports to the coroner on cases of suspected suicides. I still find my self amazed at some of the stories I hear. But I'm not really sure the arguements about selfishness of the act, really offer any insight, and is generally just a means for us to deal with our own feelings about the subject and in how we are dealing with our own lives.

No.

My brother in law committed suicide in over 10 years ago. It left my wife as an only child. It has turned our lives upside down, forced us to change our own life plans and has really been the defining event of our adult lives (for the worse).

Worse again he left behind a young daughter whose life has irrevocably changed for the worse.

I would never contrmplate suicide having seen the damage it does to the lives of those left behind.

Are you saying that suicide is more acceptable/understandable if you're terminally ill?

Not an act of weakness at all, but the selfish actions of someone's son, daughter, lover, friend, mother, father; someone who mattered.

Which brings us back to the point that no one of sound mind would do this …given this why do you call ill people selfish? Like with all mental illness there is a stigma and a perception that they should all just MTFU and make it better. I once a bit depressed for second but I managed to pull myself together for other peole and battle on so why cant they therefore it is their fault and their choice to do this. We are not all made equally. I don’t undertand how someone could leave their children it seems like madness to me rather than selfish what do you think TS ? Imagine being so low you think your kids are better off without you than with you. Why say selfish when ill is a better description? Some of you really need to work on your compassion/understanding.

I believe there is a question to be answered first as to whether an individual has a right to take their own life (i.e commit suicide). I believe this is singly perhaps the most important right within any true liberal and democratic society.

Once this is addressed then I believe the issue of selfishness is no longer relevant. Indeed the selfish act is being committed by the very people who say the act of suicide is selfish itself. It is these very people who seem to wish to burden others with the thoughts of being selfish for simply exercising their fundamental right to take the own life.

I think a lot of people are terrified of mental illness. This seriously compounds the problems for those who aren't well!

People are quick to judge those who are unwell, but basically, they don't want anything to do with this illness because they feel vulnerable to becoming depressed themselves. We all have our own demons, so people don't like going there!

There are plenty of people on disability benefits/off work due to being diagnosed with anxiety and depression who aren't really that unwell, but see it a good way of getting some paid "me time". Like those who used to have imaginary bad backs. Shame on that small minority because it tars those who are genuinely ill as skiving layabouts!

For those who are trully depressed it's an isolated "slow burn" living hell and due to the fear people have of those who feel like this, these people are on their own. Even family members struggle to find the energy to care for those who are suffering.

In January this year, my brother-in-law hanged himself after my sister announced she was having an affair and was leaving him. He was a thoroughly decent hardworking guy who never put a foot wrong in our eyes in the 25 years we knew him.

We were pretty dismayed at my sister for even contemplating an affair, but what was especially alarming was the brutal manner in which she ended the relationship. I shan't bore you with the details, but it was ugly!

The day before he died, he spent 3 hours with my wife and i, telling us where he thought he'd gone wrong. He was wrong on most of his concerns, but didn't want to hear our take on things, he just wanted to tell us his piece.

He did not have a bad word to say about my sister throughout the two week bust up and defended her at every stage. He said he still loved her, that she was the only one for him and that he would "go" if she didn't want to try and work with him to fix things. He wanted her to live alone in their house and he was going to move back to his mum's while they tried to work things through. She declined.

He said he'd leave the house which they had worked so hard to buy and refurbish and everything else he had. We didn't realise what he was saying by the word "go" until two days later when my sister found him hanging in their newly built garage.

He wrote several notes to various people and my sister had one read out at the funeral. From all of these, whilst he was clearly not in his right mind, he seemed to think he was doing everyone a favour. It seemed like his suicide was an unselfish act.

We learned after his death that he had self-confidence issues which began with some very unhappy things that happened to him when he was a small child. It was all centred around the break up of his parent's marriage and basically, his mum totally rejected him for two years. His mother then had him back, but then he was used as a bargaining chip. The effects of this unjust treatment were to last him the rest of his life.

We just had no idea because he was such a decent happy go lucky sort of guy, so my advice to those who want to call suicide victims out as being selfish, is to go away and do some research.

We have suffered greatly since he died, but I don't think he really understood how much impact his death would have on everyone. I've done the whole spectrum of emotions over it, but still believe he had lost all capacity to be rational.

My advice to anyone contemplating suicide is to hold off, things will get better. I believe it is the enduring nature of depression and the overiding desolation that pushes rational thought out the window. He just needed to escape and thought this would solve everyone's problems.

We live in a hardass society and showing a little compassion to others goes a long way to making people feel a bit better about themselves. This even applies to those who don't appear to be unhappy! You can't see people's inner turmoil as they wear a mask, or simple don't display emotion. E.G. This week at work, when we were all going through a tough time, i was acused of being laid back and not bothered. The reality was that i was feeling very anxious. So my advice is never judge a book by it's cover!

Random acts of kindness could save a life! At the very least you will brighten someone's day.

Edit.

RIP. That is all.

Some of you really need to work on your compassion/understanding

Hear hear.

Some of you really need to work on your compassion/understanding

Hear hear.

+1!

my thoughts are with his family and friends.

who are in that place because of the actions of one person upon themself.

Some of you really need to work on your compassion/understanding

My compassion and understnding are with the living - not the dead. That includes those contemplating suicide, so don't get on your high horse there. People need help and I support that fully. However, suicide creates far more problems for 'loved ones' than it has ever solved.

People need help and I support that fully

But do you understand what these people are actually going through in their heads? Being depressed enough to commit suicide is NOT the same as being down in the dumps, where a hug and kind word will make the world right again for them. It is an illness that has eaten away at them so greatly that no cure has worked and the only way to fix it is to end their life. Do you understand that? I mean [i]truly, deeply[/i] fathom this concept? This is not a criticism if you don't, because very few people do - it's hard to comprehend how depression works if you don't suffer from it.

I've thought about it a lot in the past, and still do (but more like urgh - no thanks).

I was always too scared of it, it felt too final for me, and my 'hope' always seems to win out.

I seem to have up and periods, but thankfully more up these days, so I'm winning. I think biking and the outdoors has helped a great deal 🙂

It's not like perfectly normal people get up in the morning and decide, on a whim, to kill themselves. Excluding people with terminal illnesses, few (if any) people in their right minds decide to end it all.

I'd have had absolute sympathy and compassion for my friends family had he done what he considered so seriously, but I much preferred to be there for him during his descent mentally and do what I could to avoid it getting there (ultimately not much really).

Playing the devils advocate here a bit, isn't is selfish to expect someone to carry on living, even in a hellish delusion, for our own sake?
Death comes to us all one way or another but expecting someone to live for my personal needs does seem rather, selfish on my part.
I don't think suicide is selfish but it is a terribly sad thing to do. I also think that a lot of people who do kill themselves do think they are either doing the planet, their friends or family a favour in removing themselves or are in such a terrible state of delusion, don't fully understand what will become of their actions. Nullification rather than existence. These states are not permanent and it is unfortunate that some people are successful in killing themselves whilst in that state and don' get a chance to come out the other side.

It's not that Long since a regular poster on here comitted suicide. Since then I've got to know his wife fairly well. He was chronically and persistently depressed, unlike some descriptions I've read about where people are really just a bit low cos their life has gone a bit pear shaped in the short term or suffering from reactive depression.

Liz said Ray struggled to ignore the voices in his head and his hallucinations and delusions (sometime he believed he was a werewolf,and wished to take his own life to protect others) just to get through the day sometimes, and usually spent about three months out of every year on a locked psychiatric ward. However, he always seemed to be chirpy and upbeat although apparently he obsessed about suicide and self harmed constantly for the last twenty years of his life,and attempted it on 7 or 8 occasions before he succeeded and regularly needed diazepam just to get out of the house,which is why he had to build his workshop onto the house or for months on end he would not have been able to work.

Liz doesn't consider him to have been selfish, because from very early on in their relationship, it was always considered to be a matter of "when", rather than "if", and if nothing else he's at peace and doesn't have to go through that much pain year in and year out.

If it was a loved one of mine going through that sort of suffering on a daily basis, I'd be really pissed off at them for killing themselves, but selfish? no not really, just really seriously ill and not in control of their own hormones,impulses and emotions.

Sorry if this is a bit reads a bit clunky but it's quite upsetting to write.

Just my opinion, you of course are entitled to a different one.

Do you understand that?

Yes. Yes I do. However, I also have certain sympathy with those addicted to smoking and alcohol abuse - but I don't think that smoking or alcohol abuse should be portrayed as normal or acceptable. I'm happy that I know contemplating suicide is not rational behaviour - but I believe the 'normal' view of taking your own life is a selfish act is the right one to have. Do you understand that?

I think unfortunately it's just plain wrong to say that all people who do this are by definition, "insane".

I'm happy that I know contemplating suicide is not rational behaviour

I'm pleases that you're so happy and secure in your life that you know this to be an absolute fact. I'm also very sorry to tell you that it is completely wrong.

Go on then - what evidence do you have for suicide being a rational behaviour? I thought we were talking about people who would contemplate irrational behaviour (taking own life) because of depression or other problem. Suicide is not rational behaviour - and nor are the thoughts that lead to it.

Your statement regarded contemplating suicide. I've met several terminally ill folk who during their illness contemplated suicide. I can assure you they were very very rational in their approach to this.

If you were in the same situation would you commit suicide ?
That's a rhetorical question by the way, as by your own logic, if you can provide me with an answer you are not rational.

RIP Jahwomble
They say every day takes courage, sometimes there's just not enough.
(My post prompted by meeting a very nice lady out cycling this morning. You know who you are and to you I say thank you and have courage)
ps. that singletrack is awesome but I took the wrong line back onto the bridleway....the bike was a couple of seconds behind me.

I'm not going to go into my views on this because it's not a fun subject for me.

On the back of where J_me is coming from, I just wanted to add that I'm very much in favour of euthanasia; if I were ever in a position where I was fit for nowt and not going to get any better (vegetative state, feeding tubes, all that malarky) then I'd far, far rather someone pulled the plug rather than prolonged the inevitable. It's not fair on those around me, and it's not fair on me.

j_me - fair enough - terminally ill is something different and I thought people had divided that out earlier in the thread. Other than if terminally ill, do you still think contemplating suicide is rational?