By having a general dislike of others...

Not everyone

not really I have a beard(edit and it's ginger)

LOL at Mike 😉

Couldn't care less what people think of me.
Stopped worrying about ten years ago, you either like me or you don't.
I'm sure i rub people up the wrong way but if they don't like it they could just ignore me.

I can't imagine anyone not liking me - so the problem doesn't arise.

I think everyone does to some extent. Even saying that you don't care doesn't convince me...

Just by realising that like the fact that you dont like everyone not everyone will like you-simple as that for me,plus I have very thick skin that has become thicker over the years.

I only care what a few people think- closest friends and family etc. Otherwise I'm not too bothered.
(I also sport a bit of a beard if it's relevant)

TSY has it spot on.if you have disdain for others why would you care what they think of you.

Hang on I'm watching CSI but I might come back and answer this in a bit.

Try reminding yourself that you spend way more time thinking about what people think about you than they actually spend thinking about you. They are all much too busy thinking what everyone thinks of them.

Works for me.

Or, that they are all crazy anyway, so who GAF.

Or, how much of your time do you think about how much you dislike others and what it is about them you dislike. When someone says 'but thats just the way they are' how does that make you feel, does it make everything alright?

Elfin goes out of his way to make sure people don't like him, thus removing any worry about whether they might not!

Love ya sweetcheaks!

no. wysiwyg.

Shhh Yeti! CSI's on! 😯

lowey +1.

whawhawhawhawhawhawhawhawhawhawhawhawhawhhhhh!

Elfin goes out of his way to make sure people don't like him

it's not working, I admire him 🙂
But whatever someone thinks about you is really mostly about them and their prejudices and preferences!

There are 5 people on the planet whose opinions about me I care about - my wife, my 3 children and myself. Nobody else matters.

I don't mind when people judge me as long as they do it right. I'll take the flak for the person I am and the things that I do but I'm not so keen otherwise

if i care what they think then yes as a general rule not really.
SFB no you really are an obstinate arse it is not everyone else 😉

Lycra or baggies?

Surrounded By Zulus - Member
There are 5 people on the planet whose opinions about me I care about - my wife, my 3 children and myself. Nobody else matters.

Not particularly, but if everyone thought i was a knob, i'd probably have a look at myself to see if they had a point.......Oh! 🙁

I suspect pretty much everybody cares a little bit more than he or she would care to admit.

I hate myself way more than anyone else could dislike me so it's easy. I know nobody else will like me so caring what they think is pointless.

I challenge anyone who doesn't care, to go riding in pink lycra.

If I thought I looked good in pink lycra...

Edit: Actually I probably would look good in pink lycra!

If you wore pink Lycra...

...I yetibiter

I know TSY looks terrible in pink Lycra

Pieface, I don't care what you think you know!

I think I care less these days, as I am happier in my own skin, and have come to terms with just being Me. I'm never gonna be anyone else right? And I kinda like me now. so **** it/them/you! Mind you, if I find someone I like dislikes me or says bad things about me I kinda wonder how they've got the wrong end of the stick and get a bit miffed!

I think I care less these days, as I am happier in my own skin, and have come to terms with just being Me.

So.. dressing up a or acting like someone who wasn't like you would bother you?

I suspect pretty much everybody cares a little bit more than he or she would care to admit

She's right you know...

Complex though innit? STW is fascinating for all it's different characters and personalities. Great place to gain an insight into the Human psyche.

Elfin goes out of his way to make sure people don't like him

😀 You Silly Billy TSY...

Anyone who says they don't care what others think of them is either a complete liar or incredibly emotionally disabled. Of course you care. Otherwise, why shave, why wear certain clothes, why wear clothes at all, why behave in a particular manner in particular situations, why bother interacting with others, why exist at all?

We all care, course we do. We're Humans; social animals. We depend on our social and emotional relationships with others; that's what defines us as individuals, as ourselves.

To claim that one doesn't care about the opinion of others is simply an attempt to display a strength, a toughness, an invulnerability. People don't want to appear 'weak'; the admission that you are in fact bothered by the opinions of others may mark you out as such. Or such is our socially engendered fear.

Very interesting question posed by the OP, and a frank and honest comment too.

I spose we care most about the opinions of those whose approval and acknowledgement we seek the most. Maybe, the less confident we are, the more we seek these things from more people, as we're unsure as to whose approval we really need to gain. And maybe, the more confident we are, the less approval we need from a wider circle. But we still crave the approval of strangers. We still need to gain allies, confidants, people we can trust. That's what much of social behaviour is all about.

There are 5 people on the planet whose opinions about me I care about - my wife, my 3 children and myself. Nobody else matters.

That (minus two)

Complete and utter bullshit. Speshly from those two! Otherwise, why are you seeking affirmation on an internet forum, if you truly don't care what others think? Why bother posting your opinions on this thread??? The truth lies somewhere in the opposite of such statements. And you can argue all you like, but who are you fooling? Really? Not me. No matter how loud you shout.

Do I care what others think of me? Course I do. Do I care what [i]everyone[/i] thinks of me? Do I have enough capacity to consider every single opinion of myself? Who does? So it's always a compromise. i'll try to modify my behaviour according to my perception of the needs of those I care about first, those I respect, those whose opinions and views I respect the most. The rest is a sliding scale of GAF.

Anyway it's too late for such deep philosophical ramblings and whatnot right now, and CSI New York is on now. 🙂

X

SFB no you really are an obstinate arse it is not everyone else

of course, and I would never deny it, but so what ?

I know nobody else will like me so caring what they think is pointless.

I like you fine [b]samuri[/b]! I do worry that you're too hard on yourself though...

Oh and BTW; I love SFB too. 😀

<doffs hat to Elfin>

I think you're absolutely cock-on mate. I could literally not agree more.

I feel a bit inadequate for not being able to express it so well, and now I'm worried that people will think I'm an idiot... 🙄

We depend on our social and emotional relationships with others; that's what defines us as individuals, as ourselves.

is that so ? I'd say rather that I like it when people like me (despite my manifold failings) but I don't mind if people don't. And I don't favour dependency - I think it's better to be self reliant and take pleasure from human interaction where it's positive.

Sorry Elfinsafety, I'm not "seeking affirmation" (I think that you are though)

And there's nothing wrong with wearing pink!

*shakes fist at Elfin*

I really hope people don't think I'm a silly-billy. That's not how I intend to come across at all!

I feel a bit inadequate for not being able to express it so well, and now I'm worried that people will think I'm an idiot...

Or far too sober! 😆

Nobody else matters.

Whether you believe this or not, it says a lot that you wanted people to read it.

Elf speaks truth.

Sorry Elfinsafety, I'm not "seeking affirmation"

The fact that you responded proves you are.

Or are you seriously in such denial of your own need to be accepted within society? Are you?

Sorry, I'm not singling you or SBZ out for personal criticism; just that whenever I hear or read such statements, I just know it's bollocks.

'Oh I don't care what others think of me'

You do. Of course you do. You [i]have[/i] to.

No decent person will think less of you for admitting you're Human.

why does elfin have to come along and be so articulate and stuff. I think it's very true what you say there. I think it's one of those relative things isn't it?

This is gonna be a good thread!..

"So.. dressing up a or acting like someone who wasn't like you would bother you?"

that's an odd thing to say Charlie Mungus. You've got the wrong end of my stick!

Why bother posting your opinions on this thread???

Is that why you post Elfinman ?.......because you care what other people think of you ? LOL ! 😀

I try not to care what people I don't care about think of me.

I think that just about covers it. 😀

is that so ? I'd say rather that I like it when people like me (despite my manifold failings) but I don't mind if people don't. And I don't favour dependency - I think it's better to be self reliant and take pleasure from human interaction where it's positive.

Yeah, that's cool, Simon. And you're right- concentrate on the positive, the nurturing, the rewarding things. Too often I find myself sucked into negative and destructive arguments and conflicts.

But hey, here we are, many of us 'alone' yet sat here discussing this fascinating topic [i]together[/i].

At 20 to one in the morning.

I think that's pretty bloody cool, and I care enough to hope others do too. Wether they do or not, I have no control over, but being active within the discussion is quite rewarding, I think.

Is that why you post Elfinman ?.......because you care what other people thin[b]k[/b] of you?

Why would that be a cause for amusement within you? Is it such an outlandish concept, to confront the notion that people do, even subconsciously, give a damn what others think?

We're not amoeba, you know.

Yes, a bit.

'Oh I don't care what others think of me'
You do. Of course you do. You have to.

with respect old lad, you cannot dictate to others. For a start the autistic and sociopaths don't care, it's part of their disorder. I would care if someone I liked didn't like me but as for the rest, I'd prefer them to be well disposed towards me but otherwise I'm not bothered - but I've reached that position intentionally, as caring about what herds of strangers think of me is clearly pointless, at least until such time as I want them to vote for me...

It's ten to one. 😈

Look at me, look at me, I am shy ... look at me I am shy. 😆

You don't bother about what people think of you if what they think cannot harm you.

But if what they think (say things behind your back or blackmail you) may harm you then you need to deal with them accordingly. In this case you should be concerned as your reputation might be on the line if not careful. Step on them maggots and step on them hard until they ooze juices ... 😈

In this case you should be concerned as your reputation might be on the line if not careful.

no one paints me worse than I do 🙂

Simon; I spose different people have differing levels of emotional response and reaction to different things. Maybe some people are more sociable than others, and all that.

you cannot dictate to others

It wasn't an 'order', just a statement of fact really. That applies to most folk, anyway.

I really am far too tired for all this now though. I've run out of steam.

Good one to ponder though. Nice one Dogbert; good thread. something to think about.

simonfbarnes - Member

no one paints me worse than I do

In that case no harm can come to you so long as you do not put a foot wrong so in that case you can just yawn and fall asleep. 😆

I spose different people have differing levels of emotional response and reaction to different things

yes, in terms of human interactivity, some are incapable, some have had it driven out by circumstances, some chose to ignore it or only use it for manipulative purposes, some are unduly influenced by it and the rest of us enjoy it as a vital component of life 🙂

it's 5 past one and I've got work at 9.30. This is more interesting. very eloquent SFb. I was quite introverted and self conscious as a kid, and, so worried about how I came across and what people thought of me. Desperately caring about other peoples opinions. That's one end of a spectrum, the other end is not giving a toss at all and being Jeremy Clarkson!

"You don't bother about what people think of you if what they think cannot harm you." I dunno..

so long as you do not put a foot wrong

that's my forte 🙂

..the other end is not giving a toss at all and being Jeremy Clarkson!

The Clarkson construct might not care [i]what[/i] people think about him, but he needs people to think something about him. If everyone stopped paying attention he wouldn't exist.

Similarly, some of the most prolific/loudest people on here don't get the payment (coz that's what it is) of my attention.

I thought if I invoked Clarkson we could put it to bed for the night 🙂

"Good one to ponder though. Nice one Dogbert; good thread. something to think about."

you can hear in the punctuation, the winding down...drr..drrr...bed. brain OFF!

Clarkson is [i]fuel[/i] for STW!

Thank *expletive* for this forum, I really couldn't live with myself if it weren't for the great folk on here.

Seriously, I don't give a second thought as to what others think about me, but then I sell cars for a living & the pre-conceptions people have are amazing.

I really don't care as I know I will do my best for people who do right by me, that is all that matters.

you can hear in the punctuation, the winding down...drr..drrr...bed. brain OFF!

Exhausted meself, in't I Kev? Got wheaty beer an' all.

These late night threads are great, but at some point, sleep is vital.

to be continued. bloody humans...

for the OP to have any real meaning, you've got to separate working, engaging with people and the tact etc required etc from the equation. That's the point poor Fred misses in his ever-try-hard way. No man is an island etc.

Beyond that it has to be a question of degree. perhaps a better test is whether you find yourself inhibited by others' supposed thoughts about you? Are you happy to dance like a bad uncle at a wedding on a date for instance? Are you happy with a Deore rear mech even tho everyone prefers xtr?

I bet a ton of folk on here are guilty of the latter.

Are you happy with a Deore rear mech even tho everyone prefers xtr?

I bet a ton of folk on here are guilty of the latter.

Well, duhhhh! 🙄

I have a simple philosophy for life, avoid the TV brain washed masses like the plague, they sit there criticising everything and everyone and have to way of controlling it.

Also only give value to peoples opinions if they treat you fairly, if they don't treat you fairly then they haven't earnt the right to an opinion and either get ignored or insulted until they ****S OFF!

yes it does bother me what people think of me.

and i think if people are truthfull, we all do.

As for clothes, trying too look good, worry about what other people think, I'm all too aware of the fact that all I have is the moments.

Staying focused on what I want and having a simple but enjoyable life is all that matters. Am I perfect, not buy a long shot, however if I was there wouldn't be much left for me to do.

Everyone needs to learn to set self aside, don't let your minds draw you into arguments or put you off balance emotionally. Fighting isn't always the best way to win, sometimes letting go and not allowing shit to effect you is the only way to win.

I'm off to find something to do, I just got woken up by a mouse at 5:20 am and I have the choice of go back to sleep or get on with my day. 😀

People who don't care are usually not very nice anyway.

shamefully it does bother me.. to the point where I believe it influences my decisions and often even the things I say..

obviously to a certain extent this is normal to a lot of folk.. but I feel that it can inhibit me sometimes.. which is something that I consider to be quite negative.. as we only live once and I believe we should live life to the full and offer our fullest possible contribution..

EDIT: I've edited this as I've been up since O'christ 00 O'clock with a teething baby and am feeling surreal.. I did ramble on about some other stuff.. but I don't know if it was appropriate to the thread or something I wish to share with the forum at large..

ironic

People who don't care are usually not very nice anyway.

yep that's me

I don't care what strangers think about me and if by some bizare twist of fate you end up as a friend, then you already know what I'm like so have accepted all my little oddities and therefore I don't have to worry about that either 😀

 

it bothers me if people i don't know (or who don't know me) take an immediate dislike to me, but it wouldn't be unexpected based on past experience, and it's not enough to make me want to reconsider any of my life choices.
i do care what my close friends and family think of me, but (luckily) they like me anyway so that's fine.

I don't care what strangers think about me and if by some bizare twist of fate you end up as a friend, then you already know what I'm like so have accepted all my little oddities and therefore I don't have to worry about that either 🙂

...and yet you posted that on here to show people what YOU are like.

Oddly elliptical.

As hoomans we need to care what others think of us. Otherwise society wouldn't work.
If people think they genuinely don't care about other's opinions then they are either completely self-deluded or they are actual sociopaths.
In the case of the latter, they wouldn't be posting anything on here.

FeeFoo - like I care? 😀

couldn't care less, in fact my girlfreind says i seem to enjoy pissing people off!

I love pissing people off.

And don Simon watch out or I'll bully you 😡

And don Simon watch out or I'll bully you

Let me know when it starts so I can behave appropriately. 😉