I've been watching "That 70's Show" recently, I decided I should probably watch something that doesn't just confirm my cynical view of the world - Reds character is also a good warning! 😀
My group up until the end of 6th form were never really that tight though -
* Number 1 joined the clergy - no common ground with this one
* Number 2 is a wet irritant who'd ditch everyone for a girl and then come crawling back when he got dumped, no sense of loyalty in a scrap, he also used to complain about people on benefits and public workers despite being a farmer. Married a woman 11 years older than him - probably listens to mumford and sons.
* Number 3 hung himself, I never went to his funeral as he was awful to a lot of people around him.
* Number 4 was histrionic, banged a teacher and somehow ended up in a love quadrangle.
* Number 5 voted for brexit so I can't really be arsed speaking to her.
* Number 6 is a raging homophobe
* Number 7 is inundated with work but does meet up on occassion to get drunk and talk politics, I like this one.
Looking back, I disliked most of them really.
For me, my group that are still close was a group that I met on holiday in Spain during my early teens - still write, still talk on skype, still meetup, some of us ended up in the same city. I don't know whether it was just an accident that we all ended up being compatible characters, or whether Spaniards are just warmer than Brits - but something is much closer about those set of friends even though inititally we'd all only met each other for two weeks back in the early 2000's.
What about you lot? Still talk to many of them? Care that they still exist?
I've known my best mate pretty much since birth- our parents meet at some pre-birth class, our dad's still go to the pub most weeks. We live a couple hours apart but both ride so we see each other every month or so.
Went to the same junior school but different secondary schools - barely saw each other for 7 years (despite living in same village, and aforementioned fathers) but reconnected properly while both at uni.
I'm dragging him into some work I'm doing later this week for shits and giggles!
My relationships are mainly transient and situational. I moved away from where I was brought up, so no. I've met the odd person I knew at school when they have contacted when visiting where I am now. But this hasn't led to any prolonged ties. I enjoy seeing them when I have, but it's not something I pursue.
+1 Smell_it
It feels like quite a British (or Northern European?) thing to have that attitude though, again going back to the friends I made on that holiday - they all love the company of their friends, I get at least one random whatsapp picture message a week from one of them doing something daft that usually manages to give me a wry smile. I rememeber thinking as a kid "damnit, why aren't I Spanish" as the group dynamics just felt completely different - they were all just a lot warmer - I can't really put my finger on it.
Yes, all still good friends but most are married with children now.
Still talk rubbish, still drink from time to time, still look at nice looking females (obvious when their wives not around), still look after each others back ...
One or two accumulated wealth via illegal logging or destroying virgin forest so we wish the head hunters have their heads as trophies in future. We don't wish them well but we talk and joke ...
Moved away from where I grew up, couldn't really say I had many friends at school, regularly suffered bullying, I couldn't give a toss if I never heard from anyone at school, worst days of my life in hindsight
Funny you should say that, I remember reading that UK schools are the worst for bullying throughout Europe. I'm half of the opinion, that despite Duterte, I want any future children of mine to grow up in the Philippines. My wifes commented on how much closer she though everyone was at her school, in comparison to my own.
Perhaps it helps not having left Sheffield where I've grown up, but there's 2 friends I see fairly regularly who I've known since I was 4 and 8, and there's approx 4 or 5 other friends I've known since I was 3-ish who I like and see maybe half a dozen times a year - and wish it was more often.
I don't make friends 'for the time being'though, once somebody is a friend they have do something which effects me quite badly for me to decide they no longer are, if somebody has touched my feelings I'll always think of them stay in touch. Which makes flakiness in other people hurt, but if it didn't I wouldn't be me. It was nice to be told I was a loyal friend by somebody I've known for 20 years (since my late teens) just recently - something to aspire to.
I think I've only got one friend from school days, but that doesn't bother me as they weren't cheeriest of days. I'll always be glad to be free, too many people you can't avoid dealing with.
Tom_W1987 - MemberFunny you should say that, I remember reading that UK schools are the worst for bullying throughout Europe. I'm half of the opinion, that despite Duterte, I want any future children of mine to grow up in the Philippines. My wifes commented on how much closer she though everyone was at her school, in comparison to my own.
Yes, we don't understand why there are so much bullying in the UK. We have bullies too but they stop immediately once the parents meet up. Obviously if bullying continues then we have our native rules to fall back ...
Filipinos are nice people except the Southern (not all but some) lot who can go a bit berserk with their belief and constantly threaten to annex my hometown Borneo ... silly goose.
She seems to think that it's more a mixture of having to really work hard to get out of poverty there and the fact that there is no fall back in life other than your friends and family, which breeds a caring mentality at school amongst friends. Here, you don't need the same kind of social bonds to survive - in a way it's a sociopaths paradise.
Mindanao is a bit crazy, the furthest south I'd go is the northern half of Palawan and I'd probably only do that the once.
She is absolutely right. We have the same mentality that depends on the immediately family circle and friends. Philippines could be a nice country to live in if only the politicians can corrupt less. i.e. leave something for the population and not consume every drop of the people blood. What is the point of having billions when they need 24/7 security. Corruption cannot be wiped out totally but at least leave something for the people. Filipinos are very resourceful and creative people as well.Tom_W1987 - Member
She seems to think that it's more a mixture of having to really work hard to get out of poverty there and the fact that there is no fall back in life other than your friends and family, which breeds a caring mentality at school amongst friends.
+1
I've seen more armed security in a Makati mall than I've ever seen near 10 Downing Street! Still, I'd even be tempted to put up with that sometimes.
Even my taxi driver needed to arm himself while driving me around to meet factory bosses. He said I stick like a sore thumb amongst the locals. He showed me his Philippine made 1911 9mm. A nice retired army guy who drove me around for 2 weeks 9am - 5pm.Tom_W1987 - Member+1
I've seen more armed security in a Makati mall than I've ever seen near 10 Downing Street! Still, I'd even be tempted to put up with that sometimes.
Yeah my wifes best friend got kidnapped, the family has had an armed longterm ex special forces bodyguard who's practically family, ever since. Interesting experience, going to a pool party with an armed escort. Different world! - bonkers in fact, but in a somewhat exciting way.
Can't say that Filipinos ever made me feel uncomfortable though, even in the rougher parts.
Yes, most of the factory bosses have their family members moved to Canada or to OzLand due to threats of kidnapping. Even they have to warned me not to wonder around ... I just thought they were making fun of me at first but later I found out it was no joke. Silly goose me.Tom_W1987 - Member
Yeah my wifes best friend got kidnapped, the family has had an armed longterm ex special forces bodyguard who's practically family, ever since. Interesting experience, going to a pool party with an armed escort. Different world!
That's why Duterte needs to sort things out the way they understand, anything less they will laugh at him for being naive.
This is going off on a tangent, but for me Duterte is killing small fish - in reality it's the police, political dynasties and civil service that need a good old fashioned Chinese/Russian style purge. There's a saying in the Philippines, if you were robbed and the police turn up to your house within a few minutes, then they are the ones that robbed your house.
I wandered around fine though, I think most Filipinos mistook me for an American serviceman - I got the "Hey, GI Joe" shit a lot.... young, shaved head etc.
Yes, he will go for them but for the moment doing slowly because he needs the people to support him first before moving in for the big guys. Not easy because they might get him first before he gets them.Tom_W1987 - Member
This is going off on a tangent, but for me Duterte's killing small fish - in reality it's the police and civil service that need a good old fashioned Chinese/Russian style purge.
LOL! You are an easy target for ransom or by the pimps.I wandered around find though, I think most Filipinos mistook me for an American serviceman though - young, shaved head etc.
I didn't wander into leftist/moro controlled areas, figured that most criminals wouldn't want the headache of kidnapping a foreigner.
Hah, too ugly for pimps dude.
Many are having a good life in Borneo after they escaped the govt offensive in the late 60s to 70s. Their new trend (younger generation) is slowly being influenced by religious belief from middle east while the older generations are hanging on their leftist belief. The older generations know that if they give up then the govt will move in swiftly.Tom_W1987 - Member
I didn't wander into leftist/moro controlled areas, figured that most criminals wouldn't want the headache of kidnapping a foreigner.
The far south has always had fairly radical Islam if I'm not mistaken, the leftists these days are found more predominantly in the hills of Northern Luzon.
Makes for interesting mountain biking though, avoiding certain trails because they take you near to where the last communist holdouts are. 😀 I've been told that some of them carry Japanese Arisaka rifles still!
Both are in the South especially Bangsamoro that's why we get many of them in Borneo.Tom_W1987 - Member
The far south has always had fairly radical Islam if I'm not mistaken, the leftists these days are found more predominantly in the hills of Northern Luzon.
This what happened to our beautiful [url= 
]Gaya Island in Borneo[/url]
A shame really, a bout of communism would have probably done the Philippines some good in the long run - and helped ease its transition into a being a properly industrialized nation.
That will never happen due to Uncle Tom's objection.Tom_W1987 - Member
A shame really, a bout of communism would have probably done the Philippines some good in the long run - and helped ease its transition into a being a properly industrialized nation.
Unfortunate side effect of war and insurgencies isn't it Chewkw, neither the leftists or Islamic seperatists have been dealt with robustly enough to end things quickly (the leftist insurgencies have been going on since the 50's 😯 ) So the whole area is unable to developed economically - I wonder if Duterte, being a Southerner will be the first to try enter a process of reconcilliation with Mindanao etc.
The American policy is to just support one side enough to keep a vague semblance of peace and the country poor enough to beg to be a gigantic aircraft carrier - great place to launch Marine Harriers/F-35B's from - especially Palawan which has plenty of forest left. Bush cracked down on the Moro rebels to an extent after 9/11, not sure how much they have done under the Obama administration and the level of support has always struck me as being just enough to keep the Philippine government of the opinion that fighting is the best policy.
Damnit, this deserves its own thread.
Went to play school with 3 of my best mates.
moved next door to my best friend when we were both 2 yrs old. went through school with him. went through teenage finding our feet time with him. had a small fall out in our late teens, didny ask him to be my best man, which i have regretted ever since.
he was the 1st friend to phone me and visit me after my last 2 surgeries.
friends for life for sure.
I had lost touch with the vast majority of my childhood friends despite still loving within 20 miles of my hometown. I did briefly get back in touch with a few through Facebook but found most of them to be ignorant, racist knobs.
I'm now in touch with just 3, although they live in other parts of the world so haven't see them for over 20 years. One if them is visiting this Thursday night though.
1 guy have I known since I was 3 at nursery.
1 I met at high school so maybe 13 I guess.
In fact, the person in my group of Friends I've know the least amount of time I've only know 18 years.
We have thinned out though, there were maybe 10 in the group, there's now 5 or 6.
School friend's, I'm only Facebook and a couple of meet ups in 30 years...I barely know them.
Uni friend's - we are in touch with a few on Facebook, and still keep up with half a dozen or so, going on holidays occasionally with them.
Like them ? Hell, i don't know them... at all.
My oldest friend is less than 20 years past. I've not seen anyone from my youth for over a decade.
Yeah, I do.
Don't see them a lot as stay in different cities or countries, but an easy camaraderie that has lasted 30 years.
We even go mountain biking together
I've known my best mate since we started school together, aged 4. We're like brothers. Mainly on account of a relationship based on mutual merciless piss-taking, and we're not shy of telling each other to stop being a Dick when its been required (quite frequently over the last 40 years). Everyone needs someone who's close enough to them to tell them stuff they don't want to hear, because sometimes we all act like cockwombles.
I went through a period where I still loved him but I didn't like him very much, and it was mutual, but since he (finally) started getting treatment for his PTSD, thats changed for the better.
I'm still really good mates with some people from school, and the mob I knocked about with at Uni 20 years ago.
Facebook is now a handy tool for checking which one of your old mates have turned into truly vile human beings, endlessly reposting Britain First videos and other such shite!
Having moved around a lot and it being 40 years ago I don't see any of them at all regularly - indeed they all moved cities and countries as well but I do keep in touch and I do still like them
Nope, my school was a horrible place with violence and aggresion common place from both pupils and teachers.
I would like to think it was the school enviroment that caused it but I knew many of them for a few years after and cant at the moment think of anyone decent.
Thankfully its made me selective about my friendships and now have a really good network of trusted people.
Yes, I do.
There are 2 guys I met at secondary school aged 11/12 whom I see most years, >50 years on. One is a fat operetta singer following his retirement from IT, the other is a lean streak of piss who wins in-line skating marathons. Both live 200k from me. The latter's little sister & I met last week for a catch-up.
Both are good guys, who knows why they stay in touch with me?
Nates with two people from school and one from college
We are still close though we only meet up about 10 times a year
Same as weeksy.
Once I left school/college, never went back to see any of them.
I've moved around a fair bit, as have most people I knew at school (not many opportunities in a small town in the North-East) plus I'm pretty shit at keeping in contact with people.
Friend one - frineds on Facebook but after coming out he only seems to want to hang around gays.
Friend two - killed himself.
Friend -Three - ended up back in the North-East, the one I'd like to meet up with again the most, but never seem to have the time or opportunity.
Friend four - moved away before the rest of us and on reflection I was probably a bit shit to him, feel bad about that.
Friend five - has turned into a racist little Englander. Dont even follow him on Facebook.
Don't know anyone from school, even though I only live 3 miles away from it (was 30 years ago mind). Only see one friend from 6th form who still lives in Cambridge. In contact with a few more on FB, but they all live elsewhere now.
I've two best mates from high school, so a 34 year friendship now, and for the past 7 years we've been going on regular winter holidays together. I had a bad accident this year, breaking my back while we were in Bulgaria. The last I saw of both of them was as I was getting shoved into the back of a ramshackle ambulance.
It took them five months to get together and meet up with me afterwards. When I met them, I expected an apology, hugs, tears and a big make up. Naive, fool that I am 🙄 What I got was a detailed description of how much money it might have cost them if they'd gone to the hospital to check on my welfare. When I tackled them about the fact that I hadn't seen the pair of them together since, and that considering they both lived within a 10 minute drive of my house, it was a bit of a poor show, I got a shrug of the shoulders. It was eventually pointed out to me by the guy who was my 'best man' at my wedding, that maybe I was taking the level of our friendship a wee bit for granted.
From now on, I'm going to get other people to choose my friends for me. I either have the most appalling decision making paradigms where friendship is concerned.....or unbeknown to me, I'm a really horrible person. Whatever the case, I'm still utterly stunned at the outcome. 😳
My congratulations to everyone here who has such great friendships that have lasted such a long time, I truly envy you. 🙂
C.
One became a particle physicist PhD, but no idea if he ever carried on with that and is looking for Higgs Bosons.
One grew a mohican and stained it purple the day he quit school. Bumped in to him once at the bus stop, where it was clear he was abusing substances of some kind.
One emigrated down under.
I know loads of classmates (not really my from my group of friends, but just in the same class) that mostly live in the next village married each other had kids, divorced, swapped around and remarried each other in a different combination. Also found out that several of them are actually related (2nd or 3rd cousins) to start with.
Made contact with a few other classmates c/o friendsreunited.
Don't have a single school friend on facebook.
Have several friends from Uni that I am still friends with, and see many about once or twice a year. Some are famous, some are on telly more than me.
There are a couple of school/uni friends that might be good to have a pint with for old times sake if we bumped in to each other, but I can't imagine anything more than that.
Have some family I've never even met. One first cousin. 2 second cousins, who I found out live in the next village but we went to different schools. All of us aged within about a year of each other.
School friends - no-one. I was the one everyone bullied so I have no interest in contacting anyone from that time, despite loads of them bizarrely 'friend requesting' me on facebook all the time.
I have a few friends from that time I made via out of school activities, they're my lifelong friends and we try to meet up as much as possible. The rest of my friends come from biking.
I'm not really that social so tend to keep myself to myself most of the time. When I'm with friends I'm fine but I'm not the one to instigate meet-ups.
Oh, good thread.
Erm..No.
However I have to say I lost contact with a small group many many years ago. However I do keep in touch with two Uni friends.
Friend one - frineds on Facebook but after coming out he only seems to want to hang around gays.
[img] 
[/img]
Explain the gif.
Theres a great book on just tis subject. Well worth a read...
[img] 
[/img]
it asks the question whether you actually 'like' your mates, or whether you still knock about together through habit. Its very funny.
I was in quite a tight but large sixth form mates group, boys and girls. Still 'friends' with all of them, but that friendship ranges from "vaguely aware of what they're up to via FaceBook" to "speak regularly-ish, get together every six months or so".
All of them though, even though I've not seen some of them for 10+ years, I'm pretty sure I could spend a weekend with and have a really good time. Some of them I don't see as much as I'd like to, the fault being mainly geography/apathy.
My two bezzies from the age of about 14/15 are still pretty much my two bezzies now, and they hang round on here occasionally...
Explain the gif.
Wasn't me, so I'm massively presuming, but I had a similar reaction to your post so I'll tell you why I might have, if gifs were my thing, which they aren't:
Many people who are gay aren't massively keen on being defined by it - they might be a man who's gay, a father who's gay, a gay mountain biking particle physicist or a gay prisoner of conscience, being gay is one of many things that might describe a person, they aren't the whole description or definition of who they are.
Perhaps your ex-friend simply doesn't want to be mates with people who only think of him as "a gay"?
BTW: It's "Coming Out Day" today (no, really)
[url= http://www.youngstonewall.org.uk/get-support/coming-out-lgbt ]http://www.youngstonewall.org.uk/get-support/coming-out-lgbt[/url]
Seriously? You couldn't see it as a very short-hand way of describing his behaviour, that frankly is bizarre, and seems to be somebody looking to find offence. I'm not going to go into details of his life but he's certainly not an ex-friend.
Nope - not one and quite happy keeping it that way.
There isn't a single person from school, home town, etc that I have the slightest desire to even know if they're alive let alone be in contact with.
My circle of friends has come about from serving, climbing, biking, etc and many are closer than family.
In fact I'd turn to some of them before family.
There's a reason I moved away and I'm keeping it that way.
Dunno, then, why don't you ask him how he feels about gay people being described as "gays" and find out?
Offence isn't about whether you intended it, it's about how it's received.
If you think it's contrived, ask yourself whether you'd describe people of African-Caribbean origin as "blacks"?
I see one of my school friends in a business capacity, but we aren't friends and don't socialise. The rest... I can't remember most of them - it was 30+ years ago!
On a slightly different tack - has anyone just dropped out of their current group of friends?
We just seem to be bored or frustrated now when we get together. We've known most of them 15+ years and it used to be a right laugh, up till 2 in the morning chatting and drinking. But the dynamic has changed and it feels very dull now, but we still go along to socials because it's what we do!
We're thinking of becoming hermits! 😀
Yeah, I'm 41 and I still consider my friends from primary school, secondary school, uni, and graduate job to be my "best friends", even though these days we are all spread out a fair bit and only meet up a few times a year.
Interesting. I am still in touch with several mates from school and college, one or two going back near enough 40 years! Not so much the ones from uni though, although we still communicate via Facebook. Various others from different jobs, work situations, etc. I could probably go out every night of the week with different people, as so many of them don't live too far away. So I consider myself very fortunate indeed, to have continued positive relationships with such a relatively large number of people. Many aren't so lucky, and many people are actually very lonely. Which is why it's important to maintain friendships.
Old girlfriends; I was thinking just recently, that there's really only one or two that I would actually like to see again, the others, I'm just not bothered about at all. Which is a little strange considering the depth of those relationships. One, I feel I could easily just be mates with (if I wasn't with my wife, she'd be the only other one I'd really want to spend my life with I think), and another, she was really lovely, and I truly wish her every happiness in life. But I think some relationships, you need to just cut ties and move on in separate directions.
Most of what I'd call my closest friends I've been friends with since playschool/infant/junior school so 34 years or so.
Of course many friends from school also grew up to be arseholes.
On a slightly different tack - has anyone just dropped out of their current group of friends?We just seem to be bored or frustrated now when we get together. We've known most of them 15+ years and it used to be a right laugh, up till 2 in the morning chatting and drinking. But the dynamic has changed and it feels very dull now, but we still go along to socials because it's what we do!
We're thinking of becoming hermits!
Is that just being middle aged?
I'm lucky. Still have several friends from 10 years of age and more from 12. We fell together and luckily have remained compatible but very different! Have a lot of varied friends from my early 20's onwards and onwards too. Only 1 person I've stayed in contact with from uni though and that has become intermittent.
Not in contact with anyone from my school or 6th form days.
My earliest current friends are from Uni days. Meet up with a couple of the guys a few times a year, walking trips and such usually. Also in contact with a few others and occasionally meet up with some or just facebook with others.
My best mate I met through work in my early 20's. Known him about 20 years now. Don't get together as often as we'd like since we both moved away, life and kids just seem to get in the way. When we do meet up it's that immediate connection as if we've only just seen each other yesterday.
I have moved around the country a bit since school which doesn't help with maintaining friendships, but to be honest I am just crap at keeping in touch with people. Something I'm trying to remedy and make the effort to contact friends I've not spoken to in a while.
In fact this thread has prompted me to go contact a couple friends now.
School friends - no-one. I was the one everyone bullied so I have no interest in contacting anyone from that time, despite loads of them bizarrely 'friend requesting' me on facebook all the time.
Pretty much the same story here, for reasons regular readers will probably be able to work out. I had three mates at school; one disappeared off the face of the earth when we went to college, one I fell out with in the 90s (he swung a punch at my girlfriend then did one and I've not seen him since), one I'm still best mates with.
Most of my friends these days are from college / uni days. I don't see most of them as often as I'd like, but I can go six months or more without seeing them and when we do get together it's like we've never been apart. These are true friends.
it asks the question whether you actually 'like' your mates, or whether you still knock about together through habit.
I think when you're young your friends are broadly out of circumstance, kinda like family. Kids who live near you or share classes with you, and in my case, kids who will actually talk to you and spend time with you. As you get older, you choose to spend time with people you actually like. It was a revelation the day I realised that life's too short to spend it in the company of toxic assholes.
Is that just being middle aged?
Probably!
Old girlfriends; I was thinking just recently, that there's really only one or two that I would actually like to see again, the others, I'm just not bothered about at all. Which is a little strange considering the depth of those relationships. One, I feel I could easily just be mates with (if I wasn't with my wife, she'd be the only other one I'd really want to spend my life with I think), and another, she was really lovely, and I truly wish her every happiness in life. But I think some relationships, you need to just cut ties and move on in separate directions.
It's always amazed me how people can go from being in love to hating each other (I'm thinking of really nasty break-ups and divorces here). Of my exes, there's only one that I really wouldn't want to see again, the rest I either still consider good friends or am no longer in touch with but there's no ill feelings.
Maybe it's down to quality control in choosing partners in the first place? (-:
On a slightly different tack - has anyone just dropped out of their current group of friends?
Yep, the ones who became all kid-focussed after breeding. No longer have anything in common with them so we don't socialise anymore, not even popping round for a chat. Got fed up of trying to arrange something like an afternoon visit with them to only get told that they were too busy looking after the kids only to find pictures of them with other friends (with and without their kids) in a cafe or park. No hard feelings or anything but I've just moved on and if they want to get in contact they will.
It's always amazed me how people can go from being in love to hating each other (I'm thinking of really nasty break-ups and divorces here). Of my exes, there's only one that I really wouldn't want to see again, the rest I either still consider good friends or am no longer in touch with but there's no ill feelings.
This. When the previous MrsIHN and I split up, we'd seen other splits that had turned really pettily nasty, and were determined that that wouldn't happen. It was all completely amicable (if still pretty awful).
We aren't really in touch any more though, other than texts on birthdays/Christmas. Weirdly though, for proper significant life events (like subsequent marriage on my part and pregnancies on hers), we made sure that they were one of the first to know, just felt that they shouldn't hear it on the grapevine.
Still meet up with my school friends every couple of months, 15 years on. I'm closer to a couple now than I was at school, and more distant with a couple, but there's 5 or 6 of us who still get on famously. I like all of them. I don't see a single person I was at uni with, mind.
milky1980 - Member
Yep, the ones who became all kid-focussed after breeding. No longer have anything in common with them so we don't socialise anymore, not even popping round for a chat. Got fed up of trying to arrange something like an afternoon visit
That is the one thing we're desperate to avoid when become parents. So many people seem to go insane about putting kids first. dont think its healthy for the child anyway. Again the southern europeans seem to be beter at just carrying on but with an extra mini-person.
Still count school friends as 'friends,' in so much as I have no reason not to, but havent seen them for years and if facebook didnt exist wouldnt know anything about them.
Pretty much only goes back to Uni for me. Moved away from where I went to school but wasn't really in touch well before that- went to a different 6th form than most of my friends from school and then went travelling before University and that was pretty much the end of that. I suppose I could have made more effort but Wasn't sufficiently bothered at the time, and I can't say I regret it now-the odd person I bump into on trips home only goes to show how you're different people when you're at school!
Again the southern europeans seem to be beter at just carrying on but with an extra mini-person.
Possibly because southern europeans are better at having a massive extended family around to help out?
Personally we have no relatives within 150 miles of our house so palming the kids off to granny for an afternoon is a lot more difficult.
Was more thinking of the just bring the child along mentality, anyway will find out next year!
Report back in two years.
If you have time 😉
no idea. haven't seen any of them in about 25yrs.
I'm still mates with one guy from secondary school so known him 30ish years, sort of in touch with a couple of others through him but they aren't local so don't really see them except every few years. I still see a friend from Primary school now and then (he lives locally) but we've not really cultivated a relationship - we'll say hello but I've not had a drink with him for a lot of years. Most of the people I was at school with I thought were total arses and they thought similarly of me (we were probably all correct) so not something I'm particularly sad about.
I've not stayed in touch with any Uni mates, which is a shame, but there are a couple of ex girlfriends who stayed friends with "the group" and I'm not really encouraged to be in touch with ex girlfriends (fair enough) so that kinda ruled out the "gang" really. One of them (an ex) connected with me, on LinkedIn of all things, a few years ago, but I politely explained that it wasn't going to be an appropriate link, so that was that.
Since marriage and kids, I've found that my social life revolves around activities and then stops when that does - I used to have occasional drinkies with other dads at my son's football, but that stopped when he moved clubs. I follow one of them on twitter if that counts!
A few people I ride mountain bikes with now and then that I seem to have known for a while, but not from childhood by any means, I kinda consider to be friends, but instagram was full of pix of a night out this last weekend for one of their birthdays that I knew nothing about, so I'm probably stretching things to describe it as friendship tbh. Friendly acquaintances I suppose might be more accurate.
On reviewing that lot, I realise that the summary seems to be that I'm an antisocial sod with one friend!
None from my school days, they weren't the happiest days of my life.
A couple from Uni, we still see each other quite a few times a year, although no one from my actual course!
Most of my friends now have come from my interests after Uni, we regularly have lunch / meet up with some triathlon friends despite not having done a tri for about 9 years!
Being quite shy does limit things though, I enjoy time with other people when I am out with them, but the thought of arranging it, and going, makes me incredibly nervous!
Was more thinking of the just bring the child along mentality, anyway will find out next year!
I think it depends on what your shared interests were "pre-kids" - if you're the types that meet up to visit National Trust places and admire the gardens and ruins, great, take the pushchair. If you're all more into going to clubs and gigs and getting off your faces, less successful with young kids...
Theres a great book on just tis subject. Well worth a read...it asks the question whether you actually 'like' your mates, or whether you still knock about together through habit. Its very funny.
Coming from that neck of the woods, its entirely possible that "safety in numbers" was the reason you still knocked about together. 😆
Candodavid - Member
Moved away from where I grew up, couldn't really say I had many friends at school, regularly suffered bullying, I couldn't give a toss if I never heard from anyone at school, worst days of my life in hindsight
This.
I still see a couple of school friends several times a year and I've been to their weddings. They still live near where we grew up so catching up with them is generally part of my trips to see my parents. There's a couple of other ones I'm happy to see but don't see so often. Another one or two dropped off the radar, I didn't make much effort to keep in touch but I wouldn't mind catching up if the opportunity presented itself.
There's only one who at one point I definitely decided I wasn't going to associate with anymore. I ended up seeing them at one of the aforementioned weddings earlier this year. They seemed fine really, but I didn't really feel any inkling to rekindle the friendship beyond chatting at the reception.
Many of the friends I see regularly I met while at university, about 20 years ago.
I'm great at making friends, but poor at keeping them - even the really close ones.
It does annoy me, but I'm 40 now, so haven't seen most school friends for half my life. I have a little-used Facebook account, but regard that as more the graveyard of people I used to know.
In my case, it's mainly been lack of effort, combined with going to university a long way from where we went to school (a boarding school, so no one was local anyway), meeting Mrs North young and becoming a lawyer (I spent 10 years working 60-100 hours a week).
I do occasionally feel nostalgic for what might have been, but then it passes.
Even now, with my adult friends, I'm still pretty poor.
@OMITT - same here
1 friend from school, not seen him for 3 years - he has cxld on me the last twice so I've given up. I just didn't relate to other people at school and the one gang I had ended up quite splintered due to someone who turned out to be a total Fanny®
No friends from college as such - just didn't work very hard at keeping in touch.
Did have very close group of work friends at one time, bunch of young people all working together in a rural location - but since I got divorced keeping in touch has been sporadic at best. I do try and have tried over the years but whilst the female contingent of the group are good at get togethers the male side are definitely not, so I gave up. I now have a regular bunch of riding buddies who are all cocks so at least we all know where we stand there. 😆
'Loving within 20miles'?
Your loving put them off bregante? 8)
I'm Facebook friends with alot of them. Had some great times but time can change people.
My bestmate from 20yrs ago is still my bestmate today.