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TJ your partner cannot share your pension - there is no legal means of achieving that inc transferring a portion to her. I never had an issue with 50/50, my ex wife did she wanted and got more than 50/50 - kids where 21, 25 and 27 at the time. My ex got a settlement way more than would have ever earned had she worked full time with no kids. That's the UK for you
What @danny says. I love my kids very much and enjoyed helping out every minute I was home. I don't denegrade the work my wife put in but to say it was a sacrafice is a bit of a stretch
TJ I offered my ex 50% of everything and she refused so we had 18 months of lawyers and she ended up with less £ but more than 50%, the latter being her main objective "on principal"
Which end of the Tandem do you get?
She gets the Tandem, he gets Jerry Again 🙂
More nonsense Jamba - the pension pot is part of the assets and has a value - this is a part of the total assets of the partnership. She is entitled to half of that value - either in pension or something else.
Another thing most folk here don't seem to realise is the value of a housekeeper ie a stay at home wife who does the majority of the running of the household. Last time I saw this costed its value is around £50 000 a year - thats how much it would cost to buy in the services most stay at home mums provide. Multiply that by 20 years of marriage and add in a bit of interests its well over a million pounds.
thats a million pounds worth of work to be taken into account in the settlement.
More nonsense Jamba - the pension pot is part of the assets and has a value - this is a part of the total assets of the partnership. She is entitled to half of that value - either in pension or something else.
I think that's actually more nonsense from you, not poor Jamba (:-))
If you’re unmarried and have separated, the Law says you aren’t entitled to a share of your former partners pension entitlement when he or she reaches retirement.
from here :
You are as bad as my future ex-wife, making authoritative statements when you don't actually know what you are talking about.
Hope your partner knows this, or she has built a decent pension pot from your joint contributions.
Another thing most folk here don't seem to realise is the value of a housekeeper ie a stay at home wife who does the majority of the running of the household. Last time I saw this costed its value is around £50 000 a year - thats how much it would cost to buy in the services most stay at home mums provide. Multiply that by 20 years of marriage and add in a bit of interests its well over a million pounds.thats a million pounds worth of work to be taken into account in the
settlement.
more rubbish.
when you split up I am going to find your partners solicitor and forward all these posts to them...
We were talking about divorce so that quote does not apply. After marriage pensions are a part of the pot. Cross posting? Misunderstandings?
My partner has her own pension. Probably a bit less than mine but she has more savings oh and I put tens of thousands of man hours into house renovations - but she bought me beer when I was skint. I paid for the last holiday - but she paid for some when I was skint and so on and so on.
find an equitable way to divide that lot up! 😉
You are as bad as my future ex-wife, making authoritative statements when you don't actually know what you are talking about.
and her mother...
Turner - its not nonsense. If you had to buy in the childcare, cleaning, washing, shopping etc thats what it would cost. This is why the non earning partner is entitled to a share of the assets - because by doing this she has contribute.
We won't ever need a lawyer - 50/50 is easy and neither of us are vindictive.
We were talking about divorce so that quote does not apply. After marriage pensions are a part of the pot. Cross posting? Misunderstandings?
yes, your misunderstanding of how threads work.
You said you would split things 50/50 with your partner if you broke up.
2 people then pointed out that you can't split your pension.
You then said that was nonsense.
I then pointed out that it wasn't and provided the quote.
All the time we were talking about your pension and your relationship if it breaks down.
Clearer now ?
tjagain - Member
Another thing most folk here don't seem to realise is the value of a housekeeper....
thats a million pounds worth of work to be taken into account in the settlement.
So any spouse providing childcare is entitled to a majority the assets on divorce if the working partner earned <£50kpa? Are you my ex's solicitor? Where's the smiley for despair?
Nobody is arguing that the spouse providing childcare should get anything less than is reasonable, more that there are many circumstances in which reasonable wouldn't be 50%. The law is different for married and unmarried couples, that's just a fact.
separations don't happen in a vacuum, otherwise all of the above would begin to make logical sense. The issues almost always boil down to assets being 'weaponised' through bitterness, vengeance, greed etc.
The absolute best thing you can do to facilitate a good separation is not be a dick.
Frankly I don't give a shit what the monetary value of washing my pants is for the last 20 years, as long as she just goes quietly. I'd happily start again with nothing.
TurnerGuy - Member
when you split up I am going to find your partners solicitor and forward all these posts to them...
Ha ha (whilst sincerely hoping that scenario never occurs).
I have some old moccasins I could post out...
turnerguy - I thought we were still talking about splitting pensions for those who divorce - thats how it read to me. Hence misunderstanding etc. There was no mention of my pension before that post was there? Text based conversations make for misunderstandings.
Deepreddave - its just an illustration of the value in a marriage of the non earning partner and how many folk simply don't understand ( as evidenced on this thread) why the wife is entitled to a share of the assets
We won't ever need a lawyer - 50/50 is easy and neither of us are vindictive.
nobody is vindictive until after the split - and the pot has been stirred by a solicitor.
Turner - its not nonsense. If you had to buy in the childcare, cleaning, washing, shopping etc thats what it would cost.
ok, maybe childcare but do you really leave all the cleaning, washing, ironing and shopping to your partner?
And you can take off any childcare time provided by the father as well, plus compensation for his increased duress from the stress he gets from being the provider, having to suck up to the bullying boss as he can't afford to loose his job, getting sh1t from the wife because he has to work late and cannot drop everything to look after the kids, more sh1t he gets for regarding his job as important, and the resulting shorter life expectancy because of these increased stresses.
If you are going to consider full childcare costs then I assume he is free to buzz off on his mountain bike whenever he chooses - 'cos it looks like he has nothing apart from work that he needs to do.
Did a quick calculation based on 50% of assets and my future earnings for the other half (should she ever carry out her threat) lump sum £800k and £24k per annum while I am still working - not a bad severance package for 25 years service.. I am of course joking...
how many folk simply don't understand ( as evidenced on this thread) why the wife is entitled to a share of the assets
you are misreading again - most people on here understand that the wife is entitled to a share of the assets - just what is that share - why should it necessarily be 50%.
Is Bill Gates's wife going to get 50% of his estate if they split - why that much ?
TJ your partner cannot share your pension - there is no legal means of achieving that inc transferring a portion to her.
More utter nonsense from #jambaland
The courts decide on the split of the pension and then issue the pension provider with a court order. The pension is then split in two. Happens all the time.
There was no mention of my pension before that post was there?
By implication there was as you mentioned the 50/50 split if you split and then 2 people pointed out that you couldn't split your pension, and then you followed on.
Text based conversations make for misunderstandings.
Certainly does in the online dating world...
Isn't 50/50 the starting point though? Then it's subject to a long drawn out process depending on the various assets and responsibilities involved.
I don't think anyone has said it is automatically 50/50 just that it's as good a place as anywhere to start.
More utter nonsense from #jambalandThe courts decide on the split of the pension and then issue the pension provider with a court order. The pension is then split in two. Happens all the time.
We were discussing unmarried couples at that point and pensions and
If you’re unmarried and have separated, the Law says you aren’t entitled to a share of your former partners pension entitlement when he or she reaches retirement.
so Jamba was right and you join tjagain in unjustifiably trying to belittle him.
I don't think anyone has said it is automatically 50/50 just that it's as good a place as anywhere to start.
I think Judges are hotter now on looking at that as a starting point and wanting to see justification for any deviance.
Will find out soon...
No Jamba was wrong in the context I saw as I was not discussing my pension. As I say a misunderstanding inherent in text based discussion.
so Jamba was right
Well there is a first time for everything. He probably miss read the question and just accidentally got it right though.
No Jamba was wrong in the context I saw as I was not discussing my pension
it was your misunderstanding - otherwise you are saying that 2 other people as well as me misunderstood the track of the thread at that time.
Aye - and one understood it in the same way I did.
take the blame out. there was a misunderstanding. It doesn't matter who was right and that depends on your viewpoint.
the misunderstanding has been sorted.
Aye - and one understood it in the same way I did.
that was his knee jerk reaction to a comment from Jamba...
Anyway I hope you will convey to your partner thatthere is no such thing as a common law mariage in the UK and she won't have any claim on your pension...
she is legally qualified Turner guy 😉
Now now @footflaps .. I was paying my lawyer £300 an hour to be told there is no way you can share a pension if you are not married (we where unmarried for most of our 25 years together)
As for pension sharing it's done on the basis of equal income in retirement so a wife almost always gets more than 50% as women are expected to live longer so pension actuary takes that into account. This gets further exaggerated if your wife is younger than you. So TJ your 50/50 would need tweaking in your partners favour.
TJ my wife most certainly did not do £50k pa worth of work, we had an au pair and a cleaner and I did the shopping (as my ex thought shopping was a steriotypically demeaning thing to do). When people are single or childless they do all that stuff for themselves and pay no one. If someone said to me they'd do all those jobs for £50k I'd say thanks a lot I'll take care of it myself as I think most people would.
she is legally qualified Turner guy 😉
yeah, one day you might not find that so funny any more...
Turnerguy - I am quite confident that we are together for the rest of our lives and even if not neither of us would be vindictive or nasty. Its about partnership of equals remember!
you think divorced folks never thought like this ?I am quite confident that we are together for the rest of our lives and even if not neither of us would be vindictive or nasty.
As for 50/50 if i have my kids for 50% of the time i still have to pay maintenance and she still gets family credit and child benefit.
Is this fair?
I realy dont know tbh FWIW what she earns is irrelevant to this and i have no idea what she makes now or whether i outearn her or not.
Turnerguy - I am quite confident that we are together for the rest of our lives and even if not neither of us would be vindictive or nasty. Its about partnership of equals remember!
more comedy gold...
I echo the above, how many thousands of couples made the same assumption on always being together and if not it would all be amicable and reasonable if they did split! Invariably it is not particularly once solicitors are involved or as I refer to them, leaches!
I tried everything to be reasonable and I was still left with 91k lost from my pension, my share of the house 75K and a legal bill of 25k. Oh and she still insists she cannot go back to work full time because of the kids, and they are 14 and 20. Wheres the logic in that? I know there isnt any, she is just lazy! 😆 🙄
You really are silly. I know both our characters and know how we would do things. You need to understand there are folk out there who do not think like you do. I understand you do not think like I do - I cannot understand your point of view but I know its different to mine
Edit - we are not starry eyed kids - we are in our 50s and have been together nearly 40 years ( on and off) and as we have split and got back together in the past I know how we would react especially over money.
NO kids, own pensions, equal earning power, partnership of equals - nowt to fight about if we did split
You really are silly. I know both our characters and know how we would do things
keep going - I'm writing all this stuff down - I hope to start working the comedy circuit next year as part of my new career.
Why not shag her sister and get back to us on how reasonable she is 😉You really are silly. I know both our characters and know how we would do things.
TJagain - it stands for us having to repeat the same point over and over again to you doesn it-we all thought like that for some it is that , for some its acrimonious and for some its horribly litigious
All of them loved and trusted each other and knew they would be reasonable ALL OF THEM.
its fine to have opinions
It gets silly to tell folk who have been through it what would theoretically happen were you to go through it.
Its hard to predict how folk will react. We all clearly lack your empathy and ability to read folk 😉
Junkyard - I refer you to the above. I know I don't understand how some of you think - understand you don't know how I think
I know exactly how we both would react - we separated once before for a period of years.
I just discussed this with her for a just now for a laugh. We have nothing to separate remember - no kids, separate pensions, equal earning power. The only thing is we own two flats - one in my name one in hers but mine is worth more so I would need to give her some of that capital - she said " why would you"
Because of the way we live our lives we could both walk away tomorrow - separating our finances would be simple and we each put in half and take out half.
Nothing to argue about financially. I have no claim on her money at all. The only possible claim she would have on mine is a share of my flat. I would give her that happily as I know its the right thing to do no matter what she had done. She would have no legal claim but a good moral one.
Turnerguy - just accept that some folk think and act differently to you and that you don't understand them. I do understand that I do not understand some folks motivations
urnerguy - just accept that some folk think and act differently to you and that you don't understand them. I do understand that I do not understand some folks motivations
I'll just accept that you've made no commitment to her at all really - she's probably just waiting for Mr Right to come along...
End of discussion. .
You just want to score debating points not come to an understanding.
she has been waiting 40 years then and really that is a fairly unpleasant thing to put.
maybe.
Do you live in each flat or in one and rent the other out?
If the latter there will be a capital gains issue in there as well.
TJ well I certainly hope you made a better choice than did I, sounds like it. Your partner's and your financial status is hugely different than most though.
Your partner's and your financial status is hugely different than most though.
yes, it sounds like a '2nd time around' arrangement from people already burnt from an earlier marriage.
I understand you want to lecture those who have been through it on what happens by simply telling us hypothetically what you think would happen with youJunkyard - I refer you to the above. I know I don't understand how some of you think - understand you don't know how I think
This is an idiotic approach to debate
its like you telling the cyclists disabled in an accident how you would feel and therefore they are wrong when they describe how they felt when it actually happened.
I agree there is no need to be personal here but , and i know this might surprise you, but your non marriage [ no offence meant ] may not be all that typical.
Again we all once thought like you did
It does not mean it will happen as EXPERIENCE has shown me/us.
I am not that interested in hearing about "understanding difference" i am simply telling you what actually happened.
Pretty low way to debate turner guy pretty low
JUnkyard - I know my situation is not typical. I also am confident in my assessment of mine and Julies characters - and know from [b]experience [/b]what will happen if we do split and I know our financial affairs could be untangled easily.
No intent to lecture others about what they have done or should do - apart from I am aghast about the attitudes some on here display and find them incomprehensible
As am I but that does not mean what happens is not unfair* nor does it mean no one will ever act unreasonably even though , before hand, no one thought it would come to this.
* not all of it is to be very clear.
You are going to get a self selecting group of people on this thread, a lot of whom have strong opinions because they've been through the mill. I'm still not sure which side I'll be on. No problems (and no solicitors!) so far though. I want to believe TJ is right 🙂