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[/center]I have developed an ability to deal with the most upsetting, difficult situations, fraught with emotion, sadness and so on in a 'professional' way. It's about being able to distance yourself from stuff so you can still function at a high level.Interesting...
It's not a lack of empathy, it's not about 'not caring', it's about the preservation of self.
This quote from Crikey really rings true for me....
To expand on the point about empathy, I'd go as far as saying that by taking your own emotional responses out of the situation you can be much much more empathetic towards others emotions and therefor more effective as a practitioner.
This doesnt mean that I'm a numb robot at work, it means that when someone tells me about the time they raped their niece, killed their child, murdered somebody, was abused for years etc etc... I can respond as a professional without my emotions getting in the way.
So I suppose the point of this thread is to scout the opinions of other people working in the greyer areas of life: social workers, mental health peoples, psychiatrists and such.... how do you cope?
Do you find this "numbness" from work sneaks itself into your personal life?
I was recently introduced to the term "vicarious trauma" (according to WIKI: "has been used interchangeably with "compassion fatigue" and "secondary traumatic stress disorder," "burnout," and "countertransference," and "work-related stress,") by the OH who also works with vulnerable adults, any opinions on this?
Another question i'm interested to find out about is: Were you always the kind of person who could keep your own emotions out of the situation or did it take your training and experience to get to the point where if someone said: "I was abused for years" (insert your own example from your work) you were able to respond with something constructive instead of "Oh, my, god! Thats horrible, you poor poor person, my dad used to shout at me for leaving the toilet seat up blah blah blah" ?
Cheers in advance everyone for the responses 🙂
"Do you find this "numbness" from work sneaks itself into your personal life?"
When I was working in forensics, definitely. It's about self preservation and protection, to be honest. If you allowed everything you were subjected to to hit home personally, you'd never be able to do your job. Conversely, I find that in some ways, nothing much shocks me any more, which is a worry at times, but I personally put this down to being overloaded with stuff that the average person (luckily) never has to be.
To add to this, I find myself getting wound up by trivialities outside work (for instance, some of the more argumentative stuff on here), which is probably down to the fact that again, a lot of the time when working I have to deal with everyone else's s**t, leaving me with a little less tolerance outside of work.
I find that in some ways, nothing much shocks me any more, which is a worry at times, but I personally put this down to being overloaded with stuff that the average person (luckily) never has to be.
To add to this, I find myself getting wound up by trivialities outside work (for instance, some of the more argumentative stuff on here), which is probably down to the fact that again, a lot of the time when working I have to deal with everyone else's s**t, leaving me with a little less tolerance outside of work.
same here, i dont get wound up by stuff on here, but little things like friends being late or selfish cause me to stress much more than anybody watching me at work would think possible haha.
even bad things happening to my parents dont really stir a reaction in me anymore.... the OH read out a sheet on vicarious trauma she was given on a course and it definitely rung true in many ways!
I don't keep emoptions out of it much but I don't allow it to cripple me either
I don't work with some of the harsher things but working with the elderly I have seen many hundreds of deaths and some upset me.
I take satisfaction from knowing I have helped that person to have a dignified death and from learning from each experience to allow me to be better next time. I have seen stuff I have been devastated by tho - multiple child deaths.
To be frank, it's a wonder that the figures for compassion fatigue / burnout, etc, are as low as they are. Having said that, a lot of us are, I think, in denial to some degree about the negative effects our profession has on us. I still wouldnt want to do anything else, although with redundancy looming, I may not have the choice for too much longer...
I find it a mixed bag I can become 'isolated' from the 'human side and concentrate on the condition they have and get on with it. I never think anymore of the job and carry as normal. As mentioned it's not a lack of compassion and still show plenty it's about trying not to get mixed up in the emotions.
However, I have had times when it's hit me hard, more so since I had kids. Something can just make it relate to home life and I find it difficult to switch off, whilst with the patient I'm fine but afterwards I've been upset, stressed and annoyed.
I also at times get short tempered over rubbish this came up the other day talking to my mother about my Father's recovery from serious illness. She said he's the same has accepted the condition has shortened his life and is coping with that. He gets angry and stressed over little things and major things he gets on with. My Mrs pointed out that's how I am get annoyed about the dishwasher not being switched on but not stressing about a major issue. My mother said I've always been the same, which looking back I have so maybe it's not the job but then again after 21 years it could well be.
Then there's the huge joy when you've helped someone who's seriously ill, injured or even arrested (heart stopped) and you see them recover en-route to hospital or successfully rescucitate (this doesn't happen as much as on Holby). The feeling is great and makes you forget about all the bad times.
You know Drac, it's weird, but I've never heard the lack of tolerance / getting p****d off with trivialities thing discussed as a common occurence. To be frank, I thought it was just me being a miserable sod!
I use to think it was that as well, until I realised that it was stress and it's ok to be stressed. Until recent years it was a big taboo and 'no one' suffered stress in our service, those that did were laughed at.
Of course times have changed the 'old timers' have moved on and it's fine to admit that the job is getting to you. Creates me some dose of work though.
+1 on nearly everything mentioned above 🙂
reassuring to know its not just me, i think i'm lucky that the OH has gone into the job she does now, dont need to explain how i feel or dont feel anymore as it all makes sense to her now haha.
For me one thing that is really important - especially in the more stressful areas is clinical supervision - not supervision in the usual sense but a structured opportunity to talk about the job and the issues. From formal sessions to chatting with colleagues over a beer its the best way to reduce the stress and burnout. More than just reflective practice