Just run your eyes over these basic dos and donts..
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First of all, I am not sure about nct is the only way to meet new mums. I used NHS antenatal classes, but did not stay in touch with anyone. Did find them useful though, but not as usefull as friends/family/mums.
I did try nct coffee mornings, but found them a little too middle class, if that's the right word (I am not sure, being Dutch). I did get much more out of local mother and baby groups personally. Try a few, some are better than others.
And be honest! There are times you won't feel on top of the world as a new parent, be honest with others so they can support you.
And on the other subject........of breast feeding...
[TRUMP CARD] my wife was hospitalised and put on a drip because of complications caused by persevering with breast feeding. at no point did anyone tell her to stop, in fact quite the opposite, until she saw a specialist clinician who was not linked to maternity care. some might call this clinical negligence.
I ended up being admitted to hospital and on a drip when my 2 nd son was 1 month old due to breast feeding. He was also referred to a pedeatrician at about 4 months because of very slow weight gain. I am very determined (or stubborn) so my 2 nd son ended up being breasted till he was 21 months, never came near a bottle. I think if I can do it, MOST people could, some people don't try at all, or don't try very hard.
On the flip side, a happy mum is a happy baby, becoming a parent is really difficult and life changing, and I can imagine the whole breast feeding thing causing lots of grief could be the final straw for some mums.
Oh sorry brakes thought it was a mountain biking oriented website not a male oriented one, my mistake. ( and you wonder why no women post here) I'll sod off back to mumsnet where I belong.
Oh and sorry domino for hijacking your thread. Do the NCt! And try to breastfeed, if you want to that is.
Just to echo some of the comments;
NCT classes are average, but very important for the social support network needed post birth.
And breastfeeding is brilliant if (a) you're able to do it and (b) you can access appropriate support (family, friends, NCT etc) if you are struggling.
Out of interest, why can breastfeeding cause problems requiring hospitalisation?
I have friends who have severely endangered their babies (and in fact their own) health due to the pressure on them 'to do the right thing'
Maybe they wanted very much to do the right thing themselves, rather than just being pushed around by midwives etc?
Severe mastitis was what got me admitted to hospital by my gp. Required antibiotic drip (they did not get the vain right and this drip was more painfull than childbirth!), and i was visited by surgeons on the pre op assessment ward. Got some decent advice from a pregnant auxiliary nurse in the end and ended up feeding till my son was 21 months.
And yes, it was me who wanted to do the right thing, by then no one was pushing me (quite the opposite really)...
We have just started NCT classes and I would say they are a waste of time if you want to actually learn anything useful. In fact I am in the process of trying to get my money back. Very very dissaponited.
It is all, write down your feelings, playing games and group work. But we are actually told very or learn little. Last night the only thing I learnt in an hour was how useless the class is.
Our local NHS class is run by the local Uni by ex midwifes and is much much better. They actually tell us things. The class overlaps with the NCT one and even though we have paid for the NCT we miss osme of it to attend the NHS class.
NCT class was great because of the people we met (and who three years later are still a core group we see), not because of what we learnt.
Unfortuneatly we want to learn things not meet people.
I have spoken to others now and they have said you are paying to meet people not really learn things.
Wish we had known this before hand.........
NCT class was great because of the people we met (and who three years later are still a core group we see), not because of what we learnt.
*shudders*
*shudders*
What brings on the shudders geoffj? NCT introduced us to people who became parents within weeks of ourselves, we met up regularly for company / mutual support / to let the kids play together. We still do so. What do you see as negative in this?
We have just started NCT classes and I would say they are a waste of time if you want to actually learn anything useful. In fact I am in the process of trying to get my money back. Very very dissaponited.It is all, write down your feelings, playing games and group work. But we are actually told very or learn little. Last night the only thing I learnt in an hour was how useless the class is.
Our local NHS class is run by the local Uni by ex midwifes and is much much better. They actually tell us things. The class overlaps with the NCT one and even though we have paid for the NCT we miss osme of it to attend the NHS class.
This ^^^ + I'm too old and cynical to play those sorts of games and / or enjoy the company of folk who do YMMV
FWIW, the NHS antenatal classes mrs j and I attended were excellent.
NHS class here run by a very good midwife in the GP surgery. We met people there who we class as friends 22 years ago. (So much so that we cared for one couples children while the mother was drying out for 6 months). Back in the 90's the women who went NCT in Ipswich considered their births as flawed if they had any medical intervention! I hope they have improved since then.
We were glad of the salad tongs when ms Sandwich became stressed during birth (I wasn't so happy hearing the shears making things bigger during a contraction).
As for:
STW on politics bad or STW on conveyor belts bad?
Much much worse, think TJ and then some!!
Well, just dragging this one back up.
We had our last NCT session yesterday, so just speaking from my experience...
Our first "facilitator" wasn't great. No sense of humour, anti-medicalisation of childbirth, all those things I though I'd rail against when I first signed up. However, we had an email after the 1st session to say that she couldn't do it anymore and that we'd be having a new facilitator. Which kinda figured for me. I reckon she knew that she wasn't going to continue with it and possibly didn't want to be there in the first place because of something going on in the background.
Anyway, our new girl was fantastic. Obviously, being NCT, she was all about the expectant mums and dads doing everything to make a natural childbirth possible - but she was completely open to everything else that might happen and that there was no wrong or right way to do things. She had an excellent sense of humour and really helped bring the group (eight couples) together really well. Our breastfeeding councillor was also really good and realistic in terms of the difficulties one might face.
She had lots of good tips, wasn't really that "earth-mother"-ish, and always finished any bit of advice with something like "but you'll all find your own ways to do the right things". I think (from mrs deadly's view) that the expectant mums had a lot of myths, fears etc dispelled and had their eyes opened a bit more.
We were lucky in that the group of people all seemed really nice, and the dads have arranged to meet regularly for beers and a chat. I might even get some wood flooring business from it. 😀
As I said previously, we don't have any family close-by, so a support network will be really helpful for us. Overall the course left me really looking forward to the future and with far less trepidations than I had before starting it.
Best of luck to anyone going through similar over the coming months.
She had lots of good tips, wasn't really that "earth-mother"-ish, and always finished any bit of advice with something like "but you'll all find your own ways to do the right things". I think (from mrs deadly's view) that the expectant mums had a lot of myths, fears etc dispelled and had their eyes opened a bit more.We were lucky in that the group of people all seemed really nice, and the dads have arranged to meet regularly for beers and a chat. I might even get some wood flooring business from it.
That sounds almost exactly like my experience of it. Very much worthwhile, but slightly dependent on the person leading. Ours was great. Not too hippy-dippy, great sense of humour, but calm and reassuring with it. Ditto on meeting a few good folks. One of the chaps on mine is the landlord of a nice pub in the City too, which is a bonus! 🙂
Oh, and this;
Best of luck to anyone going through similar over the coming months.
Agreed in full!
🙂
Three of ours were lawyers. Which is bound to be useful at some stage. 😆
How's it going with the Bábóg flashy?
Is all good, thanks, Darcy! She's starting to settle in now.
Hope yours turns out to be just as lovely as mine! 🙂
Useful topic, our first due in Feb we've just signed up to nct course in Jan near Stockport, good to get a bit of background from here.
Mrs King and I attended the classes and as a whole found them pretty useful and not too bad around the whole lecturing the benefits of natural childbirth. The whole episode is behind us now and little Cerys is 6 weeks old and already has dad around her pinky. Christmas is from now on going to take on a whole new meaning which I'm looking forward to immensely.
Belated congrats juanking! 😀
