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So going to be a dad soon and the wife is reading all kinds of books and has mumsnet. So obliviously singletrack=dadsnet will be my main source of information about parenting but can anyone suggest any books that are good to read from a dads perspective. Preferable something I can download onto a kindle. I know you cannot get everything from a book but it might be nice to get a heads up on a few things!
read what you like.
it'll turn your world upside down regardless...
Haynes manual for babies if he's mechanically minded
I figured that already! But I am off on holiday so need something to read, so though I might get something useful for a change.
You think books are going to help? Boy, are you in for a rude awakening! 😉
Seriously: I'd take the opportunity to read any books you fancy, as that'll be one of the many things you're not going to be doing for a while. I was off with the kids yesterday. I bought the guardian at 7am. I opened it to read it at approximately 10pm last night. Had a great day though 😀 Welcome to my world!
"Sh*t My Dad Says" for inspiration for your own words of wisdom?
The female pregnancy bible 'What to expect when you're pregnant' has a great section at the back for Dads. Has Mrs mrl got that one?
I read that, and then looked for some other books but in the end didn't bother. Chose to really on instinct and common sense. Most of the time that's all you need.
Good luck, its so much fun seeing a baby grow up. Mine's only 1, and she just gets more and more amusing and cute by the day
Seriously - I don't remember reading a thing that helped me. Just understand that the new family order is going to be:
Baby > Mummy > Cat > You > Anything you want to do
and you will be fine.
Ohh, and the being woken every five minutes during the night normally stops at about 10 years old.
Have fun and don't work to hard in the first few years - spend every waking minute with the little one as it will soon pass. (said after seeing one of my (soon to be 3 years old) twins sat eating a Weetabix by herself like a proper little girl). I really don't know how they suddenly got so grown up.
I'd recommend an audio book. Doesn't matter which one so long as you can put your headphones on and drown out the noise of your child for the first couple of years. They get interesting after a bit but up until then you'd have more fun with a kitten.
A good novel for you and get her off "witchesnet"
Seriously.
We Need to Talk About Kevin
Some useful replies! Given the above I don’t think I will both with a book! Might get the Berkmann one for a laugh. Thanks
[url= http://www.amazon.co.uk/Go-F-Sleep-Adam-Mansbach/dp/0857862650/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1338286331&sr=8-1 ]Go the f to sleep might give you something to think about but the Samuel L Jackson reading of it found on you tube is better![/url]
Just don't bother, you'll end up with conflicting advice. Best just to wing it like e and the missus. Spend the time [while you've still got it] riding your bike!
No need for a book when you have STW
[url= http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/going-to-be-a-dad-omfg ]http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/going-to-be-a-dad-omfg[/url]
Try this: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fatherhood-The-Truth-Marcus-Berkmann/dp/0091900638
Another +1. Good book with a decent sense of humour about the whole thing.
Slightly "blokey", but not in an over-the-top "Nuts"-stylee.
[b]NOT[/b], I repeat NOT "Raising Boys" by Stephen Biddulph. Complete waste of time.
more for the other half?
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I read What to Expect When You're Expecting more than Mrs North.
Also, there's a sequel - What to Expect: The First Year.
Get those (if you haven't already) and memorise what you can. Because your memory will never be the same.
PS In spite of all the gloom, it's ace..!
Dad of two here - one aged 5, one aged 6.5.
Don't bother with the books, they won't help. NCT classes were a reasonable starter for 10 but we relied on instinct and the selective taking of advice from friends/family who'd been there and done that.
The missus bought and read a couple of books but the advice given was conflicting. She bought me the book by that Ford woman which made me so cross, I dropped it in the recycling after a few chapters.
Good luck. Everything changes. It's ace.
EDIT: +1 for STW = Dadsnet!!
We enjoyed the NCT classes but I can honestly say that they didn't actually *help*. In fact the terror they instilled was much greater than the reality but we did make some great new friends there.
It might just be me, but I found that our own natural instincts were pretty much all we needed in the first few months. The only time we have needed external help was help with sleeping and we found www.babysleepanswers.co.uk to be very good - buy their (reasonably priced) book and you get free run of their private forum and the moderators did give us lots of helpful advice with getting our two sleeping something like reasonable hours.
Toddler Taming.
Sorted.
We enjoyed the NCT classes but I can honestly say that they didn't actually *help*.
we never made it as junior turned up a bit early....
We enjoyed the NCT classes but I can honestly say that they didn't actually *help*.
We only ever did one class. An NHS one on breastfeeding. It was excellent, very informative and probably the main reason our little one was happy on boob for the first year.
Never bothered with NCT. They did seem like a good way to make friends with other nearby families though.
I wouldn't bother with a book. I'm pretty sure that the baby won't have read one either.
NCT - good for the mums to make local friends with same aged kids.
The birth plan certainly goes out the window though 😯
1-Its not rocket science having kids.
2- You can still ride your bike plenty, I do anyway
3- get used to the lack of sleep!
We only ever did one class. An NHS one on breastfeeding. It was excellent, very informative and probably the main reason our little one was happy on boob for the first year.Never bothered with NCT. They did seem like a good way to make friends with other nearby families though.
I am glad we did the NCT one. The NHS one was meant to be over four sessions. Session one went from conception to birth. Session two became 'birth to going to university' as budget cuts and under-staffing meant there was no-one to complete the course.
I wouldn't bother with a book. I'm pretty sure that the baby won't have read one either.
Neither has your car, but a Haynes manual is still useful 😀
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Blokes-Guide-To-Pregnancy/dp/140190288X/ref=pd_sim_b_2
I bought this and thought it was patronising rubbish. Lots of weak, blokey jokes about fatherhood, watching football and going down the pub, but not much useful information about having a baby. Didn't even bother finishing it.
Don't have experience of NCT, but in my area they have a men-only Dads 2B programme which I thought was great. No-nonsense practical information about pre, during and post birth, including the basics of nappies, bathing the baby, etc. My partner actually got a bit upset because she thought I was receiving better info than she was.
I wouldn't bother with a book. I'm pretty sure that the baby won't have read one either.
"Neither has your car, but a Haynes manual is still useful"
To simulate buying a baby book go to halfords pick a Haynes manual at random while blindfold now service your car using the manual selected.
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I think that should just about cover it.
Did not bother with NCT, but found the 2 free NHS classes covered all the basics well enough and a booby feeding class. You soon realise a lot of it is just common sense with a bit of winging it - you'll quickly tune into your baby and their needs and signals. If you must read anything i'd go for one of the popular books concentrating on understanding how your baby sleeps as this will change dramatically several times over the first year.
What I would also suggest for peace of mind is a first aid course covering babies and toddlers - Red Cross for example run them and they are usually 2 evening sessions.
Silly me, forgot one.
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Definitely Toddler Taming. The only child development book I've thought helpful. The section on tying the doors to prevent egress at bedtime is sound common sense.
Things they don’t tell you about baby rearing…
[b]General[/b]
1. Never use a baby monitor, baby’s lungs will be loud enough!
2. Baby asleep – YOU rest.
3. Don’t buy a wide age range car seat – you may have another that needs it.
4. Muslin squares are your clothes’ best friend.
5. Cheap pushchair – expensive buggy.
6. Babies get too hot – seldom too cold.
7. Accept offers of help – food especially.
8. If baby is getting heavier don’t worry.
9. Babies can cry for 26 minutes for no reason.
10. Being dressed at midday is a sign of denial.
[b]Nappies[/b]
11. Keep a nappy and wipes in the Glove box of your car.
12. Never buy cheap nappies – colloid research costs and is worth it!
13. Fold the willy down (unless you like washing).
14. Changing mats should detach from the changing bag.
15. Keep a changing mat downstairs.
[b]Feeding[/b]
16. Breast milk during the day, a bottle at night (helps with sleeping).
17. You can microwave milk on low power (about 90 seconds then shake).
18. Electric breast pump – never manual.
19. Button-up shirts not lift-up tops.
20. Add one Weetabix to baby rice.
[b]Things to try if overdue[/b]
1. Hot curry
2. Raspberry tea
3. Brisk walk
4. Speed humps
5. Trampoline
6. Sex (the only one that works)
[b]Essential home equipment[/b]
1. Infacol (colic drops), for boys especially.
2. Calpol (paracetamol)
3. Kamilosan (look it up)
4. V-pillow (for feeding and resting)
5. Microwave sterilizer and four bottles
6. Nappy disposal unit
7. A changing mat downstairs
8. A large carton of ready-made baby milk (SMA)
9. Bumbo® baby seat
10. Digital TV (CBeebies AKA “The Babysitter”)
The hardest thing is dealing with sleep deprivation and fatigue.. be aware of the severe symptoms of a sleep debt as it can make you very ill!
The most important things to learn are a good burping technique as a crying windy baby will take hours to get back to sleep at 2am.. also get some comfy house walking shoes.. you will cover several miles everyday pacing round the house. It's worth remembering that its almost instinctual for a baby to be quiet/fall asleep when carried on fast paced walk. Once you get through the first few months it gets a bit easier and more enjoyable as the baby becomes more self aware and starts to do more than drink milk, scream and shit. Oh.. and whatever your idea of the birth is.. under no circumstances look as its coming out.
Tried a few books but only really got somewhere when we put them all down and chilled out about it all.
My wife and I almost murdered each other many times in the first few months but it gets easier quite quickly.
Things they don’t tell you about baby rearing…
My list would be quite different to yours, which tells you that what works well for one baby doesn't necessarily work well for all babies...
[i]My wife and I almost murdered each other many times in the first few months but it gets easier quite quickly.[/i]
It's the baby causing the problems. But it's you who got her pregnant so it's all your fault. See? it all works out in the end.
My list would be quite different to yours, which tells you that what works well for one baby doesn't necessarily work well for all babies..
It's a bit tongue in cheek, but I completely agree. Our second was a completely different experience to the first.
I have a copy of Dr Spock's interesting view on child rearing. Most of it is okay, but some things, well, erm, provoke controversy.
Sod books, just sleep while you can and go out for meals/cinema/pubs with the wife while you have the chance.
Also, feel free to re-open this thread at any time 😀
http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/welcome-to-the-mtfu-daddies-breakfast-club