[Closed] Current insult of choice

I find myself going back to that old favourite, 'bell end'.

Brexiter.

Steady on now, no need for that

I still enjoy the brevity and mild shock value of the c-word

'Goddamn bonce-licking nanny cuddler' gets used in situations where I have to avoid proper swearing.

I did call someone both a prat and a proper charlie the other day, that felt very old school.

Duckwad

You Merkin

You ignoramus

Brexiter.

I prefer "Brexit ****", you can just tell can't you?

I still enjoy the brevity and mild shock value of the c-word

What the word Charlie....Or Charles

Cock womble still sees a lot of use.

in the same way that 'berk' became a polite form of the worst word in the world (berkeley hunt), I'm thinking of starting a petition to get debated whether calling someone a 'Farage' can also be taken to mean the same.

Donald Trump is the current insult of choice in my kids primary school.

You Trump!

ding-a-ling

****ing bellend

Chutney ferret.

dont know why, just makes me smile......

Spunkbubble and Cockwomble seem to have most bases covered these days.

Peasant or scrote if i don't swear.
In a work setting microcephalous idiot works well.

coc oen

Its gotta be cock jockey. I do like some of the above though!

I still enjoy the brevity and mild shock value of the c-word

Doesn't quite carry the same shock value up here, frinstance, someone can be labelled a 'Good C__t' and it's seen as a term of endearment.

I tend to find that a shake of the head, or even better a chuckle tends to make the road ragers even more of a metal cocooned hardman.

nimrod

Its gotta be cock jockey

What about 'pooftah' or 'fairy'?

twunt

If I've got the presence of mind, I tell him I pity his girlfriend. And then ride like mad!

Chutney ferret.

I used to work with a guy abut 15 years ago who used this a lot. Not from Burnley way are you?

Remainer

Knob jockey

Knob jockey

Again, what about 'pooftah' or 'fairy'? Or 'homo'? 'Bender', what about that?

I had no idea that berk was rhyming slang for the c-word!
I'd better stop calling my kids it 😳

effing pleb.

Imbecile.

Imbecile.

Nice, I'm definitely using that one.

Wazzock. Never bettered.

He's right you know.

+1 for cockwomble 😀

Even my phone's predictive text knows it well...

Wotsit Hitler

Another vote for Cockwomble here although 'you knob-head...' made its way out of my mouth from nowhere a while ago when the afore mentioned Mr. Head drove his car into mine, writing mine off.

[edit]amused by the way that 'knob-head' avoids the swearfilter but removing the hyphen doesn't 😆

I tend to blurt out "Cretin!" quite often, though when driving my usual abusive outburst when someone of advanced years makes a dodgy/unsafe manouvere (which is several times a day living where I do) is "You silly old bastard!", regardless of gender.

This has to be the best outburst ever ([b]definitely NSFW![/b]):

I had an 'incident' with a van driver a few months back, quiet country lane, he had overtaken me once, fairly reasonably, but then had to stop when he met a lorry, there was room, so I went up the inside, while he was stationary, knowing he would be stopped for some time and it was safe for me to do so. Shortly after, further up the road, I was approaching a junction onto a main road, perhaps 20-25 yards away when said van decides he'll overtake me again, despite me not being dawdling, his van being most of that length and the fact I signalling right. Without thought I flung my right arm even further out, almost across his bonnet, looked back and shouted at the top of my voice "Get back you c***!". Scared myself to be honest, though I spent the next two miles home laughing to myself once the shock had worn off! My first real dodgy road experience like that, if I lived in London I can see me being banged up in the first week.

I’m currently a fan of phrasing an insult in the form of a rhetorical question, as in:

“What are you, some sort of ****?”

I'm not a homophobic asshat, so would never use it in anger, but the phrase cocoa-shunter is undeniably glorious.

Wotsit Hitler

😆

Smarm bag crud face?
Cretin always handy too.

'Lummux' has recently crept into my vocabulary.................

Doesn't quite carry the same shock value up here, frinstance, someone can be labelled a 'Good C__t' and it's seen as a term of endearment.

only in the Shire, only in the Shire...... 🙂

I did tell someone today to stop being such a plum.

I quite like using this for emails though.. http://web.mit.edu/dryfoo/Funny-pages/shakespeare-insult-kit.html

Riff raff

f*cknugget/choad/tip/Botham/ripe tw*t

The missus and me try to out un-pc each other with insults from our childhood.

Spaz
Spazzer
Mong
Joey Deacon
etc

would never use on in public though!

I'm not a homophobic asshat, so would never use it in anger, but the phrase cocoa-shunter is undeniably glorious

Hmmm.

Trimix - Member
Remainer

That's not an insult, it's more an intellectual acknowledgement.

It's "clown" for me.

Its a nice simple one for me.

Moron.

a stupid person.
[i]"we can't let these thoughtless morons get away with mindless vandalism every weekend"[/i]

Ever since The Avengers I'm a fan of "mewling quim"

I also quite like "you doughnut"

I think non-sweary and offensive wins. My favourite is simply a Numpty.

Cad

Edit : I should add that it doesn't have to be used with a posh accent, it's short enough to be thrown with a bit of venom. I used it in a C u next Tuesday moment but I reckon the guy was too young for the word to make any sense and he merely frowned.

The ****!

I like the poshness of peasant or commoner.

The best thing to do is smile and blow a kiss. It really confuses people. 😆

I've been rewatching the thick of it on Netflix, attempting to remember some of the glorious tucker insults.

Personally numpty is a favourite I can use in front of the kids.

Aw years ago I called a driver who pulled out on me a stupid c... His windows were misted and he didn't look. Fair assessment I thought. However, he disagreed, chased me down and threatened to smash my face in. Hence confirming my assertions.

Dickhead is the hardy perennial of the insult world. Obvious in its malice, lacking in profanity so unlikely to cause offence beyond its target and not subject to any scrutiny by the PC-brigade.

It's even better if you're a scouser.

****ing nob.

Gob Sh@@te

Nobeerinthefridge - Member

Doesn't quite carry the same shock value up here, frinstance, someone can be labelled a 'Good C__t' and it's seen as a term of endearment.

I'd use it endearingly from time to time too, but there's no mistaking the tone when it's used as an insult.

Cock Eared F--k Monkey

my dad calls us (his 3 sons) faggots.
alright ya faggot what you up to?
what ya doing that for ya faggot?
turn this shit off you faggots?
cup of tea, faggot?

sometimes he softens it to 'fagchops'

i genuinely dont think he knows what it means outside of his own bubble tho!

I've been rewatching the thick of it on Netflix,

Peter MacNicol in Veep is where it's at now.

I have an uncle who loves to both insult, and compliment, in his very posh normal accent, with the phrase [i]you useless son of a no good father[/i] 🙂

It's gotta be the C word.

Saying it in a room full of Americans is glorious. Aussies take the edge off though.

my dad calls us (his 3 sons) faggots.
alright ya faggot what you up to?
what ya doing that for ya faggot?
turn this shit off you faggots?
cup of tea, faggot?

sometimes he softens it to 'fagchops'

i genuinely dont think he knows what it means outside of his own bubble tho!

has there been a 'things my dad says thread' yet on STW? i feel your pain here. The last one there is brilliant in its unashamed horror.

Ass-hat

You f'ing Pillock.

Again, what about 'pooftah' or 'fairy'? Or 'homo'? 'Bender', what about that?

Nah, jobby jabber is better than those.

Pleb

Pod-person

Oxygen thief

Jebend or Dick or my personal fave

Fullwitt !

F'ing Bawbag or cockwomble are my current fav's.

I find picking a random body part or item of clothing tends to confuse first and then anger, and it's highly amusing.

For instance:
"**** you, [i]Eyebrows[/i]"

or,
"Oy, [i]Shoes[/i]. Do us all a favour and piss off."

Cock knocker

Found this one the other day
ARSE-FLAKE
Been word of the day for a few days now

i drift back and forward to 'numpyty'

Monkey-toucher

choob

or

tube

not sure how to spell it, so probably shouldnt use it