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f*cknugget/choad/tip/Botham/ripe tw*t
The missus and me try to out un-pc each other with insults from our childhood.
Spaz
Spazzer
Mong
Joey Deacon
etc
would never use on in public though!
I'm not a homophobic asshat, so would never use it in anger, but the phrase cocoa-shunter is undeniably glorious
Hmmm.
Trimix - Member
Remainer
That's not an insult, it's more an intellectual acknowledgement.
It's "clown" for me.
Its a nice simple one for me.
Moron.
a stupid person.
[i]"we can't let these thoughtless morons get away with mindless vandalism every weekend"[/i]
Ever since The Avengers I'm a fan of "mewling quim"
I also quite like "you doughnut"
I think non-sweary and offensive wins. My favourite is simply a Numpty.
Cad
Edit : I should add that it doesn't have to be used with a posh accent, it's short enough to be thrown with a bit of venom. I used it in a C u next Tuesday moment but I reckon the guy was too young for the word to make any sense and he merely frowned.
The ****!
I like the poshness of peasant or commoner.
The best thing to do is smile and blow a kiss. It really confuses people. 😆
I've been rewatching the thick of it on Netflix, attempting to remember some of the glorious tucker insults.
Personally numpty is a favourite I can use in front of the kids.
Aw years ago I called a driver who pulled out on me a stupid c... His windows were misted and he didn't look. Fair assessment I thought. However, he disagreed, chased me down and threatened to smash my face in. Hence confirming my assertions.
Dickhead is the hardy perennial of the insult world. Obvious in its malice, lacking in profanity so unlikely to cause offence beyond its target and not subject to any scrutiny by the PC-brigade.
It's even better if you're a scouser.
****ing nob.
Gob Sh@@te
Nobeerinthefridge - MemberDoesn't quite carry the same shock value up here, frinstance, someone can be labelled a 'Good C__t' and it's seen as a term of endearment.
I'd use it endearingly from time to time too, but there's no mistaking the tone when it's used as an insult.
Cock Eared F--k Monkey
my dad calls us (his 3 sons) faggots.
alright ya faggot what you up to?
what ya doing that for ya faggot?
turn this shit off you faggots?
cup of tea, faggot?
sometimes he softens it to 'fagchops'
i genuinely dont think he knows what it means outside of his own bubble tho!
I've been rewatching the thick of it on Netflix,
Peter MacNicol in Veep is where it's at now.
I have an uncle who loves to both insult, and compliment, in his very posh normal accent, with the phrase [i]you useless son of a no good father[/i] 🙂
It's gotta be the C word.
Saying it in a room full of Americans is glorious. Aussies take the edge off though.
my dad calls us (his 3 sons) faggots.
alright ya faggot what you up to?
what ya doing that for ya faggot?
turn this shit off you faggots?
cup of tea, faggot?sometimes he softens it to 'fagchops'
i genuinely dont think he knows what it means outside of his own bubble tho!
has there been a 'things my dad says thread' yet on STW? i feel your pain here. The last one there is brilliant in its unashamed horror.
Ass-hat
You f'ing Pillock.
Again, what about 'pooftah' or 'fairy'? Or 'homo'? 'Bender', what about that?
Nah, jobby jabber is better than those.
Pleb
Pod-person
Oxygen thief
Jebend or Dick or my personal fave
Fullwitt !
F'ing Bawbag or cockwomble are my current fav's.
I find picking a random body part or item of clothing tends to confuse first and then anger, and it's highly amusing.
For instance:
"**** you, [i]Eyebrows[/i]"
or,
"Oy, [i]Shoes[/i]. Do us all a favour and piss off."
Cock knocker
Found this one the other day
ARSE-FLAKE
Been word of the day for a few days now
i drift back and forward to 'numpyty'
Monkey-toucher
choob
or
tube
not sure how to spell it, so probably shouldnt use it
slot badger
two pin din plug
bent ref
chimney bottler
shrub rocketeer
Sock cutter
or
mongtard
It's what comes out in the heat of the moment that counts, in my case, when getting cut up at a roundabout earlier, it was dildo.
Much to the amusement of my nephew who was a passenger. 😀
Being cut up is great for the artistic juices.
I shouted 'you ****ing arse burglar' at someone whilst I was on speakerphone to the wife, much to her amusement
Watched a TV show about a young offenders programme in my local area where the inmates were using every insult and expletive imaginable to refer to each other with little effect. The worst curse words imaginable were being used with impunity.
Then one accused another of being a "Pure Daftie".
30 seconds later the pool table was upside down , there were sirens blaring and multiple casualties.
Never refer to a 17 year old Weegie as a Daftie. They do not take it well.
Being scottish, I don't need to piss around, I can call you a dick and you'll feel as if you've had every other insult in the thread multiplied together and then concentrated. It's just delivery really. Ya dick.
Spunk Trumpet as in 'You utter Spunk Trumpet'
Also, ****tard or Shitmong are also widely used around these here parts.
I was called a "Total Spaz Bucket" today.
No, i've not idea what that means either........ 😆
crayon muncher
Remy **** (Remedial)
Inbred
Donkeys helmet
6 fingered retard
Web toed winky dribble
Remroid
Slack jawed cumguzzler
Cumsponge
Just off the top of my head