Yesterday, at nursery, Mrs aa picked up our 4yr old and signed accident form as she'd bumped her head in the soft play area of her nursery.
on way gone daughter told mum that boy had kicked her in the head, twice, while she was lying down in soft area.
Wife rang up and gave my daughters version of events and it would appear that, no, not a single member of staff saw the incident but they had castigated other child for his actions?!?!
Now, am i being overprotective if i force the issue with the nursery?
Other child has 'previous'....
Force the issue. Big time
He's 4 years old - what would you like them to do to him?
I'd let the nursery staff handle it.
am i being overprotective if i force the issue with the nursery?
Not necessarily, but you might be being a pain in their arse. I'd probably be asking why he was disciplined but nobody saw it. Maybe he admitted to it to the staff? Kids learn to fib sometime between 3 and 4. Maybe he's at the "can't lie" stage still.
That's what i think.
forgot to mention, nursery has no proper recording of the time of the incident, nor did they think to mention that she was drowsy and went to sleep later on in the afternoon...
it does however, have an outstanding ofsted
[i]Now, am i being overprotective [/i]
Probably.
Ben, what i want them to do is kick the boy in the head. No, I'll do that next time i see him. **joke, it'll ruin my dbs.....**.
No, i see it as a failure in their safeguarding and am alarmed with the lack of proper information to us.
i want to know why they didn't tell us the truth.
Mrs aa is going to see them this afternoon.
You need to take it up with the nursery manager - kicking someone in the head is very different to accidental head bump. They have a duty of care over your child and have failed.
Which issue(s) are you picking up with the nursery? What does 'forcing' the issue look like? And what would be a good result for you? Just some questions to help you get your thoughts together
i want to know why they didn't tell us the truth.
You can't HANDLE the truth!!*
(*also a joke 🙂 )
Seriously though, I'd push them as to why they didn't give you the full details. I think you take a risk when you place your child in nursery that they won't have "eyes-on" at all times and stuff will inevitably happen but the least you can expect is to be informed of any incident and an honest "we didn't see it but this is what we can ascertain happened".
My boy used to be a 'biter'. Every evening I was signing accident forms.
[i]nursery has no proper recording of the time of the incident, nor did they think to mention that she was drowsy and went to sleep later on in the afternoon...[/i]
*this* I would raise merry hell over.
Unseen incident involving a head injury followed by lack of recording and monitoring of changes in a child's behaviour are what's bad about the event.
They should have been honest about what they thought had happened to cause the injury, not vague, but tbh stuff happens with kids and if it was a one off I'd let it pass.
The head injury thing is serious though.
If they gave you an accident form for something that didn't happen/happened in a differnt way, that's bad, very bad.
I'd possibly ask nicely if they knew what really happened - I wouldn't "force the issue". Maybe they just didn't see it. I know my almost-4-year-old sometimes has trouble separating reality, stories, dreams and stuff she saw on TV.
Of course you're annoyed and frustrated but you need to remember. Young toddlers don't alway understand right from wrong, the have tantrums and do silly things. Maybe your daughter was in a spot where the child normally lies and this kid overreacted.
The Nursery didn't fail they can't watch every kid all the time just the same, bad enough looking after one yourself never mind a group of kids. Maybe they should have told you what one version was and that they had dealt with it and would keep an eye on it. Other than that I can't see anything other than toddlers having a bit scrap. My eldest got bit by a kid when she was at Nursery, a stage kids go through, the nursery told us and kept a closer eye on the kid that did for awhile.
100% agree with Drac, its hard to be objective where your kids are concerned
Im sure the nursery will be keeping an extra eye on the 4yr old
Look after you child yourself perhaps?
I don't agree with Drac/Kimbers - the incident was one of those things that happens, fair enough. But the nursery staff's response wasn't acceptable especially given the child then felt drowsy and fell asleep - a sign of concussion.
peteimpreza - Member
Look after you child yourself perhaps?
[img]
[/img]
peteimpreza
[img] 
[/img]
Look after you child yourself perhaps?
So you're a stay-at-home dad?
He's 4 years old - what would you like them to do to him?I'd let the nursery staff handle it.
This. These things happen with preschool kids. Plus unless the staff have a 1:1 ratio, they can't be expected to see every incident.
Or you could always go to the nursery tomorrow, find the boy, knock him out, then jump all over his head and bite his ear off. That learn him...
Look after you child yourself perhaps?
There it is.
Point taken Drac, but when our kids have had knocks (including the famous back-flip off a bar stool directly onto her head onto a hard floor in Hard Rock Cafe which meant a late Sunday night trip to A&E 😀 ), the docs always told us to watch out for drowsiness and sleeping as bad signs.
Are you sure they are not being vague so you dont work out who it was. In my experience a lot of nursery workers arent very good at lying and so may just say sorry didnt see when they did but cannot give you any more info.
Its also very possible your daughter is lying.
So you're a stay-at-home dad?
I am hoping they have not bred personally 😉
Drac nails it tbh
Its hard to be objective with your own kid but you need to decide if it was
1. one of those things that happens with kids [ it was]
2. Whether the nursery staff handled it well and if not whether it was just human error or a sign of them being crap
Agreed. Most 4 yr olds are indeed a little liberal with the truth.
NurseryTrackWorld 😉
Loving these threads. With 3 year old twins I can relate.
http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/any-toddler-tips-to-share
I've watched my daughter getting bit by another toddler at a party, it's instinctive to turn into protector and open a can of whoop ass, then you suddenly remember it's a child so you tell her twin brother to go kick his ass.
Talk to the nursery, giving you inconsistent information isn't clever but its hasrdly likely to be a conspiracy, is it? And remember in a roomful of 20 toddlers someone is going to get bitten/pushed/pulled/hit about thirty times a day. Think back to the last birthday party you held. I can guarantee it was bedlam.
Ours trips over flagstones a fair bit. The other day he did it, got up and said 'mummy you pushed me' 😆
Granted Johndoh but that's mechanics of injury there, falling off a barstool is a bit different. It's also more to do with how drowsy they are and the time they want to sleep.
I've had calls to people who've rang as they heard the sleep thing is bad. Well late at night your kid might want to go to sleep response seems to be taken by surprise.
Kids having a snooze in the afternoon is not unusual, especially after a bit of 'drama' it's when it goes on for any length of time that it becomes a worry. A 1/2 hour is nothing.
On the advice of stw, ive quit my job tody so i can be a full time dad. Hoorah, common sense wins. I will, of course, be claiming benefits at the earliest opportunity.
it is possible my daughter is fibbing. She isn't though, she's clear about what happened. As mentioned above, nursery didn't see incident. Of course i understand there's much they don't see. My issue is the lack of recording and an inability to tell us what may have happened rather than just pass it off as a bump..
as said before, the boy has form...
Why bother asking then?
I've watched my daughter getting bit by another toddler at a party, it's instinctive to turn into protector and open a can of whoop ass, then you suddenly remember it's a child so you tell her twin brother to go kick his ass.
Ha! He better get used to it, it wasn't until I started teaching in my 30's that I stopped going to discuss behaviour directed towards my sister by her latest shitehawk of a recent ex-lad.
It's not about opening a can of whoop ass on the offending child, it's making sure that the nursery are doing their job properly.
Making a complaint about your child getting injured in their care is not being OTT, especially if it prevents similar scenarios happening again to your child or any other.
I've had calls to people who've rang as they heard the sleep thing is bad. Well late at night your kid might want to go to sleep response seems to be taken by surprise.
Hah yes. On our 'occasion' we had to wake her every 2 hours to make sure it was just night sleepiness and nothing more.
She was *NOT* happy about that. 🙂
Sensible way to deal with it and no they don't like that.
The nursery could always close the soft play area on health and safety grounds.
Look after you child yourself perhaps?
Ah, the money shot.
Trolltastic.
as said before, the boy has form...
I presume he's a four yearold too?
You say your daughter may be lying and then dismiss it.
The boy could have tripped over her.
Thede's no last damage I presume?
Edit: too trolly 😐
somewhatslightlydazed - Member
The nursery could always close the soft play area on health and safety grounds.
Or only allow each inmate 10 min supervised exercise time in the yard.
Or only allow each inmate 10 min supervised exercise time in the yard.
LOL mine have got that at the moment - the school was flooded and most of the playground taken out, so now they are confined to what they have christened 'The Cage of Boredom'.
Not sure how thick they're laying it on but they claim to have been given a ball and told not to kick it 😀
Some things never change!
I know my almost-4[b]0[/b]-year-old [b]wife[/b]sometimes has trouble separating reality, stories, dreams and stuff she saw on TV.
hora - Member
Ours trips over flagstones a fair bit. The other day he did it, got up and said 'mummy you pushed me'
😆
Social workers will have fun with that.
Get the nursery to install CCTV so you can watch your childs every move then sue parents of any offending child that kicks your little darling in the head. Sue the parents and get the offending child expelled, make sure you go into the nursery shouting the odds and telling the staff how the place should be run. I would also take your child to a psychologist to make sure there is no lasting effects from the incident.
Ours trips over flagstones a fair bit. The other day he did it, got up and said 'mummy you pushed me'
Friend of mine's daughter is a proper action jackson, always falling off climbing frames and collecting bruises.
He had cause to lightly slap her legs for being exceptionally naughty one evening (not saying it was the right thing to do but, that's what happened). Next day at school with a face on, teacher asked what's up with you, "daddy hit me" came the reply. That escalated quickly.
the boy has form
so does cantona..
well there's no smoke without fire
but are there any witnesses??
forgot to mention, nursery has no proper recording of the time of the incident, nor did they think to mention that she was drowsy and went to sleep later on in the afternoon...
This is the thing I'd be very very unhappy about. Not sure that even with correct supervision, you can prevent kids laying into other kids at that age, although I hope they are now taking steps to supervise him a bit more closely.
Just a thought. It is entirely possible that they didn't see the incident but did believe your daughter and reprimand him ( bearing in mind "form").
The bumped head letter would be standard arse cover practice as those of us working with kids have to do.
At a busy collection point your wife may not have been faced with the staff who wrote the note and maybe there are real pain in the arse kids to deal with.
Not excusing the place for one moment but silly little things happen that are best dropped.
Child kicked in the head, what would you do?
Jesus the redtops could have written your topic headline for you.
Our son comes home with bumps on his head all the time, we sign accident form. Job done. IF the boy in question really had a problem no nursery would happily not keep an eye on him and a 4yr old kick whilst playing is totally different to 'my child was kicked in the head shocker'.
Chill the **** out. Otherwise what will you be like in a few years time?
Some friends came round with their 4 yearold who goes to nursery with our 3 yearold. The mum told us some kid had stuck his thumb in her sons eye at nursery "what sort of kid would do that".. I didnt say the one he's playing with upstairs 😳
maybe the op's daughter is at the same place!!
any decent parent will get upset seeing their own flesh and blood in pain but in this instance kids will be kids and bop one another every now and then, just got to grin and bear it, i would inform staff your child took a hit but politely explain you know that this stuff goes on, and just politely ask them to keep an eye on it. if the kid has previous especially, they will see your point.
that they didn't see it in the first instance isn't a big deal, eyes can't be everywhere
Is the nursery ofsted registered? If so how was it ranked?
Aside from that, what do you expect them to do? Something happens which they don't see so they deal with it and record it on that level but still take action and bollock the other child.
What else could they have done?
Crankbrat " has previous " at his nursery he has also been the recipient of others attentions. It is normal development. The Nursery always informs us but never identifies a perpetrator . They deal very well with the incidents and try to ensure continuity of approach with parents.
It is hard to hear you child has been dragged off a toy by his hair but then one can place it in context by recalling that he has been the one who bit another. Crankbrat's descriptions of a day's events often only have a passing similarity to my own recollections.
Relax trust your Nursery like you they cannot be eyes on your child 100% of the time. If the offender starts to target your daughter then get a meeting with the staff to ensure they get a plan of action.
Cranbrat was specifically invited to the birthday party of the girl who pointed him out to her mum with the line "that's crankbrat he's naughty "
as said before, the boy has form...
Quick, get the nursery staff to lock the bogeyman up, he clearly needs labelling for life as dodgy. I blame the parents. You should too.
Teach yours taekwondo or some such similar marshal art
Jesus.
Even hora has pointed out that things will, most assuredly, become more challenging.
Time to DTFU.
The nursery has been in touch twice today so i do have an update. I am happy with what they're doing.
I'm quite enjoying some of the comments above, so I'll keep it to myself.
I know how "has form" may sound. But he does. Aa version 1 is straight as an arrow. If she says something, it happened. Its just the way she is.
the other one, she's a monkey...she sounds like yours crankboy.
The nursery has been in touch twice today so i do have an update. I am happy with what they're doing.
I'm quite enjoying some of the comments above, so I'll keep it to myself.
Have they executed the other child at your request ?
Teach yours taekwondo or some such similar marshal art
Zoojitsu
I'm no medical expert, but surely the concussion issue being raised is a touch of hysteria..?
Kids bump their heads regularly in ways much more brutal than a kick from a four year old, it's fairly hard work to get a proper concussion from a group of rampaging pissed up squaddies at closing time on a Saturday night