MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
Hey folks, without going into too much detail, the mother of my children has agreed verbally to hand over full custody of my two children to myself, mainly due to illness and other personal circumstance on her behalf.
Obviously this is a big move (which I am really chuffed about) and worried she may bottle it at the last minute and change her mind, but, aside from that, I want to get this all done proper, solicitors etc. Not exactly a situation I have had to deal with before, does anyone have any tips on what the conditions should be? I don't want her to turn around in a few months time and demand them back etc, the whole idea of this is for the kids to have somewhere stable to be, which its not with her at the moment. I am not looking for any finance towards their upkeep from her either and she can have as much visitation rights as she pleases...we would probably expect them to stay with her two nights of a week minimum...would this be fair? Again, no idea how this works, or where you go from here, so if anyone has had any experience in these matters, advice would be greatly appreciated! TIA
Was in exactly your position 20 years ago.. In my case I was awarded full custody and never heard from her again. At the time I asked the same questions you are and was told that although she could at a later date fight for access to see the children (and get it), there was pretty much no chance she would ever regain custody and the longer the break the less chance still.
can't really offer any advice but just wanted to say good luck and stay strong
sounds like you're both trying to do what's best for the children and I hope it works out for you.
No specific advice other than find a solicitor familiar with family law.
Not entirely up to date with the laws, but a lot depends on whether you are or have been married, and whether or not your name appears on the children's birth certificates.
Good luck, and use your local Citizens Advice Bureau, it's what they're there for!
First easy one, would be that 'possession is nine tenths of the law' or more accurately 'the status quo will, normally, be defended'
the 'gold standard' you're looking for is a residence order in your name.
so on that basis, if you can get them over and established at yours first, life will be a lot easier. Only then should you apply for a residence order. you [b]may[/b] be able to do this by saying to her that you've encountered difficulties with schools/social services etc. not being used to dealing with dads in your position and asking for proof of X and Y with a residence order, which might prevent her feeling its an attack to undermine her rights