child custody, access – am I being unreasonable? – Page 2 – Chat Forum

yunki · 2015-09-29T13:17:39Z

Just venting some frustration here, but any thoughts would be appreciated I split from my kid's mum fairly amicably a couple of years back.. While we were together we had opted that I should raise the kids at home so that she could concentrate on a small business venture that was gaining success.. So when we split we agreed that we would have shared custody of the children in a 50/50 time split or they may find it quite strange to suddenly not have me around.. (this also worked quite well for their mum as it would allow her to continue with her business) At the time I agreed to have the children every weekend in the short-term to allow her to continue to work without the financial worry of finding childcare, as much of her work took place Wednesday to Sunday.. I work from home and can choose my hours so this wasn't a problem, BUT it was always a short-term arrangement agreed to last no longer than a year Now two years later I am finding myself battling to regain some weekends.. She is remarried to a guy who takes home a good wage, she has employed staff in her shop, but she has also created a second business venture which again, runs at weekends.. I've also moved on and have a new partner but we are finding it increasingly irritating that my ex-partner is very reluctant to have the kids at weekends because 'of her work commitments' Ideally I'd want to alternate weekends but I am being told that this is not supporting the best interests of our children which obviously makes me feel like a complete scumbag.. we debate this issue once a month or so, sometimes it is reasonable and other times heated but it always ends up brushed under the carpet.. After another day spent wasted in a horrible, childish slanging match today I'm feeling mediation may be the only way forward or am I being a crap father?

perchypanther

Posts: 17313

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But I'm sorry for, quite reasonably, complaining that my ex is being a shit about it

FTFY. Hope it works out.

Posted : 30/09/2015 2:32 pm

br

Posts: 18125

Free Member

[i]I need to get to a point where there is no negotiation, where the times and days are set in stone, because negotiating with her is impossible.. [/i]

Be careful what you wish for, a Pal had a 15 minute 'window' on picking his up...

I'd be more looking to 'book' weekends where they would have the kids.

Posted : 30/09/2015 2:47 pm

curiousyellow

Posts: 0

Free Member

Can you agree with the proviso that any weekends you want off will mean she has to pay for childcare? Not great, but it's a start.

Sounds like you are being used a bit here. I don't think you are being unreasonable in wanting the odd weekend off at all, but at the same time you can't be a doormat.

I'm also sticking up for 5thElefant. I think what was meant was you'd have the kids 7 days a week if you'd not split up, so how would that be dealt with. Not a judgement of what happened to your marriage/relationship!

Good luck. I hope it works out well for you.

Posted : 30/09/2015 3:10 pm

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[Closed] child custody, access - am I being unreasonable?