I didn't want kids as I thought I'd be a crap dad and didn't fancy cocking it up, my good lady seemed to think otherwise and who was I to argue. I've two boys who seem to be well adjusted, happy little lads so she's done a good job with them I'd say. 😆
I didn't think I wanted them, I was 20 when my first was born, sh*t myself and genuinely didn't think I could do it as I never liked anyone elses kids (still don't really like other peoples kids) but I wouldn't change a thing sure I missed out on a lot of nights out with the lads etc but i don't regret it for one second.
Just don't think blokes are programmed like women, the instincts don't really kick in until you hold them and realise you will do anything for them.
Got two now and everyday is full of noise, stress and mess! Can't remember what quiet is tbh
At 37, about to marry my wife, she informed me that she wanted a kid. I was absolutely sure that I didn't. I had time & money to spare and as far as was concerned life couldn't be better.
I'll spare you all the boring, painful stuff in between but suffice to say I am the very proud dad of a soon to be 3 yr old boy and it turns out that I would have missed out on true joy and happiness if I'd said no.
I might have been ambivalent about wanting kids, but I'm god damn certain I never want to have twins!
We have twins and it isn't so bad. That said, they are only 7 weeks atm so I reserve the right to change my position on the matter.
As I'm not a chap I can't answer the question but I'd just like to say what a wonderfully heartwarming thread this has been.
Well done all you chaps, you are a credit to your children!
do it its great
I hadn't really thought of it but my mrs was the same when we met so I thought what the hell and did it twice - best thing ive done with my life
Prevaricated for a long time, neither of us were convinced. 8 month old girl and quite frankly while i often think 'jesus this never ends' I would not swap it for the world. You can write a big list of all the stuff you think you will lose and then you get a massive smile and a giggle and the list is irrelevant.
I've always wanted kids, and as I've gotten older, and learnt more about myself as a person, I've come to realise that it'll never happen for me.
Knowing that makes me sad to my very core.
I've always wanted kids, and as I've gotten older, and learnt more about myself as a person, I've come to realise that it'll never happen for me.Knowing that makes me sad to my very core.
Balls to that. Be happy for the planet and all the other species we steamroll by not adding to the plague of humanity.
dan1980 - assuming your user name alludes to the year of your birth, why on Earth would you say that? I just had my first at the age of 39.
I was absolutely certain I didn't want kids. But just to echo the other 200 posts on here, I love him completely 90% of the time. I do suffer constant fear that I'll be found wanting as a father though - I have almost zero dad-skillz.
No real idea how to fix a combustion engine or any other bits of a car, DIY knowledge negligible, panic at the thought of looking after him alone ( I do it frequently but I still panic ) - basically all the stuff that my dad and stepdad do effortlessly. Must be a generational thing.
Best of luck OP, if you go ahead and commit.
Edit: JCL - if you truly believe that, go chuck your sorry plague-ridden arse off a bridge, eh?
Cheers for all the kind words. We're both staying positive and we are trying again, but it is hard thing to think about sometimes.
One of the big things I have is that I'd always wanted kids whilst I was young enough to enjoy doing stuff with them, stuff that I'd done when I was a kid. I know my body is pretty knackered, with my knees and elbows pretty much in tatters, so before 40 was what I'd sort of planned on. Despite seven years of trying, that's not going to happen. BUT.... We are going to keep trying!
Maybe this time next year I'll have better news.
Edit: JCL - if you truly believe that, go chuck your sorry plague-ridden arse off a bridge, eh?
Suicide is no joke dude. I'll just not be adding to the glut like the consensus trance breeders who do.
Yeah the human race would be doing great if everyone gave up on this silly reproduction thing that we've been doing...
Suicide is no joke dude. I'll just not be adding to the glut like the consensus trance breeders who do.
Sounds likes your genes will be a real loss for the race. Hopefully, we'll manage as a species though.
It's never the right time to have kids.
But it's always the right time to make love.
*puts Barry White CD on*
I'll just not be adding to the glut like the consensus trance breeders who do.
So who's going to wipe your bum when you're doubly incontinent?
Always new i would have kids. Expected to wake up one day and say ok now I am ready but it never happened so like many had them mid 30's.
Wished i had them earlier tbh.
Willard, have you thought of adoption ?
We had a birth child then 4 years of IVF (fun, fun, fun) before adopting Thing 2, I was very unsure all the way through but partly went along with it,
So glad we did, got a 1 yr old so missed the pointless
Willard, just found your original post, I am so sorry, must have been horrible. Good luck,
It's never the right time to have kids.But it's always the right time to make love.
*puts Barry White CD on*
😆 Nice one Curious!
Cheers buzz!
If you had kids then this could be your 10 year old one day!
http://www.pinkbike.com/video/335165/
Always planned to have kids...had conversation early with lass I later married. Eldest came along earlier than we planned, best accident ever. Hard decision to decide exactly when was the right time to have a second...sure in my mind that every time could well be a compromise.
27 years on wife and I are looking forward to grandchildren one day.
Chaps: did you always know you'd want kids?
No, in fact I was anti kids. The missus wanted SIX! We "compromised" and had three. Outside of marrying Mrs Sox they are the best things I've ever done (.....can I say that?). All three are grown up, now but they're all well adjusted human beings, successful in their fields and are more than happy to spend time with they're folks and each other.
Love 'em to bits.
CY that vid is cool, that crash at the end looked painful though.. 😯
I was never hugely fussed - I always thought it may happen one day but was in no rush. This was partly due to me happy coasting along mucking about on bikes etc and partly due to concerns regarding money etc.
However, I am due to join the ranks of parenthood soon and I am happy and petrified at the same time! The fear is partly selfish (i.e. not being able to ride my bike as much, go to the rugby etc) and partly regarding money. However (soppy bit) emotionally it felt right to start trying. Like many blokes I figured it'd take a while so I'd have a few weeks / months of 'trying' to enjoy bit it happened rather quickly. Within the first couple of attempts.
The other half and I have been together for a long time (nealy 14 years) having met in the first year of uni and are pretty settled so that all contributed to feeling like the right time. I'm not that keen on other people's kids but have a really good relationship with some younger cousins having been very close to an aunt and uncle so I have a good idea of how tough it's going to be.
Think long, think hard. Or just start a family. It don't matter because when children enter your world they're the most beautiful things. Not got a pot to piss in, no time for selfish fun and they are a constant worry but I would'nt want it any other way. More beautiful life I say!
@ [b]Dan1980[/b] - Adopt? My brother did to Twins. They're ace little buggers!
Rumbledethumps is right..
We thought that if we waited until we were 'ready' we'd have to wait forever if we were honest with ourselves, so we sacked it all off and got nekkid..
It was a good decision.. The important thing that is all too often overlooked is your faith in each other to be able to make each other laugh, to make each other giggle and shine when hope is lost..
Cos if that sparkle isn't there it's going to be exposed and amplified and bonded forever by blood..
Bob-on Yunki.
Over the years I've had thoughts of both a positive and negative valence towards having children. I couldn’t imagine myself as a father for some reason.
Cutting a long and not overly interesting story short, I now have a 6-month-old daughter. She’s the best thing to ever happen to me.
PS, I'm 40.
I never wanted kids. My parents split 4 days after my 5th birthday & I grew up not really knowing my dad. Was stereotyped at school (single parent family) bullied & generally treated like shit for most of my school years - I just never wanted to impose that on any other human being.
Spent my formative years earning a decent living (not so thick after all) and spending it all on travel, booze, women & other 'pastimes'. Work took a hold & I got fully immersed in the whole corporate world of bulls**t & partying until I met mrs Nobby. After a few years we decided kids might be a good idea and Jr was born.
Elation! No feeling on earth like it. Then, at his 6 week check up, we hear that there are some concerns over his heart function - test followed test, followed test only to be told he has a congenital heart condition. I kinda cope ( glass half full disposition) but mrs Nobby's world falls off a cliff & she ends up in a very dark place.
Me being me, I treat every day with him as (potentially) his last and here we are 11 years later with me exhausted & him riding kids races at events like 24/12, swimming like a fish& running cross country in all weathers with the other grammar school boys.
It's been a decade of ups and downs but it has been an incredible, educational, eventful and, ultimately, fulfilling times which I wouldn't swap for anything.
Folk often ask how we cope with but the fact is , he is who he is, he makes us proud and I honestly believe he is my greatest achievement in life.
I still remember my best mate giving me a piece of blank paper when Jr was born - he gave me one month to list all of the aspects of my life t hat hadn't changed. A month later I gave him back the same blank piece of paper & bought him a pint. As has been said, every single aspect of my existence was better - even if I had to start riding at 4 am post-feed.
Sounds likes your genes will be a real loss for the race. Hopefully, we'll manage as a species though.
Naah. It's all going down the pan isn't it. Obvious really but a shame for all the innocent species dragged down with the human plague. Still, keep breeding and hoovering up those resources at breakneck speed!
Yes, I always want kids but the problem is trying to find some who is willing to combine my DNA with hers to create new Dear Leaders. 😆
[b]JCL[/b] You almost sound like an infamous Austrian Leader from the 30s/40s.
I'm with JCL I have seen what sprogs do to people, they make previously sane people into zombies.
How are you?
Little johhny had his first potty poo yesterday.
I said how are you?
"Tests came back and little Chardonnay doesn't have glue ear"
I said how are you?
Neve mind I'll catch you later.
They act like its a miracle they threw some mess up a love tunnel and a little soldier burst through a cell wall but it happens millions of times every year. And far too often by the looks of things.
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Hmm. Ransos asked who wipes the bottoms when we get old?
Answer: for most people it's low paid care workers in nursing homes.
The nursing home my grandma is in isn't even high dependency or dementia. Most of the people in there have kids, very few don't. So where are their devoted offspring?
Many of them don't live nearby. Some are busy raising their own kids still, or more likely (like my mum's siblings) caring for grandchildren while their adult children go back to work. So they can't take care of their elderly parents. And by the time someone is doubly incontinent, they usually need more specialist nursing care than an untrained adult can give anyway. And a lot of the time, your kids simply won't want to adjust their lives in order to care for an ageing or sick relative, my own siblings being a case in point at the moment, and have barely bothered to get their heads out of their own asses to call our sick father since he came out of hospital. Guess which adult children end up doing most of the care? Yep, the ones who don't have kids of their own, because it tends to be expected that they have the capacity and free time to do so by their siblings.
So, if you want your bum wiped in old age, encourage your children not to have children!
Edit: I'm sure there are many good reasons to have kids, but "to have someone wipe my butt when I'm old" is not one of them. Sure, you might get a wonderful devoted son or daughter who will do everything for you, but these days, more often than not, that won't be the case. Go to any nursing home in the country for proof.
I have seen what sprogs do to people, they make previously sane people into zombies
They don't.
HTH.
Naah.
No, really, with each post you make on the subject, it really does seem like a loss. Are you sure you won't have a change of heart. There must be a queue of willing hosts.
