[Closed] Celebrity punch up. Who would you pick?

I was having a tough time deciding, from folk born in 1954. Then Iain Duncan Smith's name came up.

I'm 50 so suggesting a fight with someone 31 years my senior, an 81 year old, seems rather distasteful.  May I offer to wrestle a 31 year younger 19 year old of my choice instead?

For me ,any celebrity punch/slap* would have to involve Piers Morgan or President Chump.

* with fish

They have to be 31 years older. RB, you can roundhouse Jane Fonda.

Christopher Walkin, not because I dislike him, just because I reckon he`d be tasty and put up a good fight.

For comedy value, Judge judy.

Here's some footage of my drunken rumble with 80-year-old Lee Majors.

**** yes, I've got a great selection to choose from.

Liam Neeson.
Mr T.
Sting.
Steven Seagall.
Mark Hamill.

I'd happily let any of those deck me.

Jon Voight. 29 December 1938.
Ian McKellen. (British Actor) 25 May 1939.
Lee Majors. 23 April 1939.
Francis Ford Coppola. 07 April 1939.
Christopher Lloyd. 22 October 1938.
Ali MacGraw. 01 April 1939.
Kenny Rogers. (Singer-Songwriter) 21 August 1938.
Ted Turner. 19 November 1938.

This bloke learned not to mess with aging celebs...

I've got some great choices 🙂

Harvey Keitel
Chuck Norris
Al Pacino
James Caan

I'll start with Chuck and come back for the rest!

My money is on Chuck.

It was an easy choice for me, Prince Charles.

I don't think I would ever get tired of punching that irritating face!

Wow - born in 77, looks like I can pick most US Presidents - Clinton, Bush or Trump... Rather those than Stallone, Spielberg, Rickman or Tim Curry.

Pope Francis or Silvio Berlusconi. Fight the pope, should be an easy victory- turn the other cheek etc and then a few beers with Mr bunga, bunga

I’d like a pillow fight with

Born in '66. So, let's see. Ooh! Woody Allen. Quite fancy my chances there.

For me it would be those born in 1944, first on the list was Danny De Vito, so i may have to give him a chance and bend my knees.

It also contains Joe Frazier, who i reckon would still probably kick my a*se

Roger Moore

Can I have Chris Grayling even though he's not the right age?

There are a range of 70 year olds but Magic Grampa seems like the pick of the bunch.

I'm having trouble finding a candidate born in 1928 and still alive 🙁

Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris or Raquel Welch?

Hmmm....can it be mud wrestling please?

If I wanted a good hiding, however, it seems Jackie Chan and Denzel Washington are available to me...

Can I pay for a forged birth certificate to make me eligible to give Mike Brewer a Last Boy Scout heel of hand / nose interface?

I'm going to go with Joe Cocker. Reckon I could lay him out flat no bother.

I was really struggling with this, as I was born in ‘72 and had few that I knew to choose from. Then I saw Richard Dawkins in the list.

By reason of his privileged self-satisfaction, I would happily go head-to-head.

Can't I go 31 years younger and take Justin Bieber out with a hook to body and head combo? Please.

I actually did, in a pissed state offer my (ex)brother-in-law for a fight. Just for the giggles. He was a few years older, but ex-army, ex-bouncer, wirey nut-job. Probably would've floored me in seconds 😆
Unlike Bieber where is 'e?? 'Old me back.

Holy crap!! I could fight The Fonze. No, I am not that cool and never would be.

I could fight The Fonze

He's been in "Barry" (top notch Sky Atlantic series, catch it if you can). Doesn't look as cool as he used to 🙂

sadly only a few left from 1930 plus Id probably get a good kicking off any of them!
neil Armstrong (1930-2012) Astronaut.
Clint Eastwood, 88. Director.
Ray Charles (1930-2004) Soul Singer.
Sean Connery, 88.
Warren Buffett, 88.
Buzz Aldrin, 89. Astronaut.
Katherine Jackson, 89.
Richard Harris (1930-2002)

Steve Martin - the man with two brains, both smashed out on the deck, ave it !!!
then I'm going toe to toe with Goldie Hawn or Helen Mirren, that should be an even easier payday.

thanks to google I found out that Justin Bieber is 5'9 so he doesn't have a height or reach advantage over Cruise so he'd get pummelled

Simon Cowell or Morrissey are the 2 that jumped out on my list. My suspicion is the former would be an easier target, albeit the latter would be a more satisfying event.

1946, so I have the choice of three living US Presidents, including the Wotsit dusted incumbent. He would have Secret Service minders, so I'd probably need to bring a mate to hold my coat.

So him. Or Cher.

Hmmm.

Robert Kardashian is available to me, but I'd have to go with Larry Ellison - his company causes me untold headaches so he's number 1.

Joe Cocker is also available to me...

1948 - few good ones amoungst that lot but it would be between;

1. Prince Charles
2. Gerry Adams
3. Noel Edmunds

**** it - I'll take on all three!

For all those belittling justin bieber, you know he trains with the Manchester Storm ice hockey team don’t you?
He might not be the pushover that some seem to imagine. I don’t necessarily mean on here, but generally.

Back on topic, i wish i was 31 years younger than piers morgan.

Tom is shorter and has a shorter reach, I think...

It was an easy choice for me, Prince Charles.
I don’t think I would ever get tired of punching that irritating face!

I'm guessing we're a similar vintage, if so I'd definitely opt for fisticuffs with Noel Edmonds or Andrew Lloyd Webber before HRH...

31 years older - there ain't many still alive. Only
Michael Caine (you're a big man, but you're bloody ancient)
Danny Aiello (italian, connected family, best avoid)
Roman Polanski - tiny, but a nonce, so he'll get kicked into his own swimming pool.
Quincy Jones - yeah, all that Michael Jackson crap.

Easy choice for me: Rupert Murdoch - keep punching until my arm falls off.

After that, I’m going for a beer and nachos with Desmond Tutu and James Earl Jones.

@Stevet1

RM.

hmm, i reckon I'd stand a chance against Stevie wonder.

Judith Chalmers or Gloria Hunniford.

Holy crap!! I could fight The Fonze. No, I am not that cool and never would be

I could also pick The Fonz, along with Jan-Michael Vincent (Stringfellow Hawk in Airwolf) or Dirk Benedict (Face in The A-Team). Eddy Merkx is in there too.

1943 seems like it was a good year....
Keith Richards
Joe Pesci
Billy Jean King
Barry Manilow

 Jan-Michael Vincent (Stringfellow Hawk in Airwolf)

Not to go all "Joe Cocker" on you but...

https://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/rip-jan-michael-vincent/

I get my pick of celebrities born in 1944. My first thought is that I'd stay clear of Danny Trejo, he'd probably be able to KO me with a look. Ian McDiarmid would be an interesting choice, I have nothing against him at all but it's hard to pass up an opportunity to punch Emperor Palpatine. Talking of masters of the Dark Side who could do with a slapping I note that Rudy Giuliani is also an option for me.

@DezB - no interest in giving Yoko Ono a bloody nose?

Another candidate for a pillow fight with me..

Tony Abbot.

Dennis Leary

Brian Blessed and (the late) Pat Roache are also available for me.

I'd get battered, but I'd pay good money to watch them fight each other.

I’ve got Henry Winkler, Dolly Parton and Steve Martin. I reckon Dolly and I could take Henry and Steve in a tag team matchup.

Tony Blair or Dog the Bounty hunter.

Not sure I want to fight the Dog...

@DezB – no interest in giving Yoko Ono a bloody nose?

Fighting a woman? A 5ft woman? A 5ft octogenarian woman?? Yeah, smack 'er in the gob 😆

Them's the rules.

On Twitter, Clancy "The Kurgan" Brown has called out 90 year old Max von Sydow.

I'd like to say it was a difficult decision, but there he is, front and centre. Trump.

I've stove in his MAGA hat and his head with it in the opening seconds of round 1.

I'm so old I'd probably be fighting a corpse (pro-tip: I'd still put your money on the corpse if I were you).
However, I could still face up to Yoko Ono or Roman Polanski.
My ideal fight would have been against the Godfather himself, James Brown.

... and I reckon I could just about take David McCallum, as long as he remained visible.

On the basis Dicaprio wrestled a bear, Christian Bale is Batman and Joaquin Phoenix is just a nutter ... I’ll join forces with them to make a tag team ….. The Bear Bat Bonkers Brothers

We’ll take on Matt Lucas, Stephen Merchant, Robbie Williams and Bear Grylls .... Fatty,Skinny, Medicated and Wannabe.

I could still face up to Yoko Ono or Roman Polanski.

You'll be fine, easily. I've softened em up for you.

I reckon I could probably have given Doris Day a close fight but sadly she died last month.

My ideal fight would have been against the Godfather himself, James Brown.

The man was insane! I’d put my money on the Godfather. So many drugs in his system I doubt a punch would even register. Pappa would have a brand new bag made from easily. He also did time and would probably have a shiv

Not sure I want to fight the Dog…

Just go for the Oakleys! His eyes are like a mole’s eyes. He won’t be able to see you. If his wife is on hand I’d run away though

Thanks DezB, that should even things up.

funkmasterp
I didn’t say I’d win against Soul Brother No1, just that I’d enjoy the opportunity - his footwork alone puts him out of my class. I’d still like the chance to share a platform with Mr Brown.

It doesn't matter how fancy his moves are. If you hit him with a chair leg he's going down.

1942 gives a good selection. Few dead already like Ali and Gadaffi. Few alive like Mitch McConnell and Joe Biden for politics but it would have to be Paul McCartney’s face I punched.

I didn’t say I’d win against Soul Brother No1, just that I’d enjoy the opportunity – his footwork alone puts him out of my class.

😂

I’ve got Peter Sutcliffe to contend with. If there was ever a man who needed punching to death he’d be a top contender.

William Shatner for me.

Set phasers to malkey

`Peter sutcliff, ted bundy, trump, finishing off by giving George bush a slap as well

Jack Kerouac or failing that Doris Day or Stan Lee. Basically anyone dead.

Yip, Trump's getting his heid kicked in, bring it! 😆

Bill O'Reilly and Benjamin Netanyahu top the list of punchable folks. I reckon I could take Stevie Wonder as well.

For a pillow fight, Sigourney Weaver.

1949, Jeremy Corbyn,  boom!

Hold my beer......

Tom selleck and Bob Marley. I'll fight the dead one

1942 gives a good selection. Few dead already like Ali

If you even dream of fighting The Greatest you better wake up and apologise!

Even now...

I got the date wrong (damn this newfangled way of counting years) I can get Prince Phillip. Or Charles Bronson. No, I’ve got it Peter Sallis.
I reckon I could give wallis a kicking if he hasn’t got that bloody dog with him.

William Shatner for me.

Watch out for his bassoon.

Putin, Swayze, Seagal, Mickey Rourke, the Hoff, Mr T, Randy Savage - shiiiiiìt. Better go for Dan Ackroyd, please, assuming dead Pat is out of bounds. 🙂

Danny

Oi! Simon and Garfunkel! Outside now. Bob Dylan, hold my coat.