[Closed] Cancer : How's it affected your life ?

I lost both my parents to cancer within less than a year. They were both in their mid-eighties. I still find it difficult to think about some times but I'm reminded that life expectancy has been increasing and advancements in medicine have removed many other likely causes of death. Cancer now seems to be catching more folk as a result.

My mother died of cancer in 2008. My half brother died of it earlier this year. My half sister's husband currently has terminal cancer.

All three had whatever treatments were offered without success. It would be easy to become cynical about treatments but I am absolutely delighted when I hear about someone who had fought the disease.

The worse part about cancer is the drawn out process, the shattered hopes and decline of the sufferer. I am still in awe of the courage and dignity displayed by my mother and brother. I wish my Mum had been around to see my daughter grow up. They have so much in common and would have been the best of friends.

I do not think that it is sensible (but it is understandable) to go through life terrified about cancer. By all means eat healthily, do not smoke or be overweight but that will not guarantee you avoid it.

Maybe you could volunteer for a cancer related charity? - amongst the pain and sadness you will also find courage, love and inspiration.

I have someone close to me fighting leukaemia it is stressful and always on my mind. #****cancer

Lost my mum to it this year. The speed she went from being OK to dead was very very quick (2 weeks or so).

My aunt on the other hand lasted 2 and a bit years and most of that was pretty horrific.

I know which 'version' I'd choose.

Neither situation though compares to what a colleague is going through with their son or what one of my uncles went with their child.

Shit horrible disease but like so much in life I try not to worry about it otherwise I'd give up now...

Diagnosed with Prostate Cancer mid 14, aged 48 and surgery November 14. So far still in the clear, but it doesn't half put a downer on positive thinking and long term planning. Boys of 10 and 14 so need to remain focussed on parenting in their years of need.

Cancer sucks.

Lost my dad this year at 59 (bowel cancer that moved to the liver), he hung on for my wedding so we had a great last hurrah. My nan last year (bone cancer) she was 95 though and had the cancer for years without telling anyone, she was so old that the cancer was lazy. Lost my other nan when i was young to cancer.

Personally, I had a lymphoma scare a few years back which completely flipped a switch in my head, I was probably more at risk of dying in a bike accident or road rage incident before the test results came back than of anything internal.
Genetically i'd say i'm pretty stuffed!

Well, my Father had two instances of Bowel Cancer, first was treated and he had a gap of 10 years in remission, then one day he said to me "I don't feel well" then I knew it was back, so did he. He died 2 weeks later. That was nearly 20 years ago, to this day I miss the fact that he's not around to see us.

So I guess I've become hardened to the disease, in that it'll ultimately kill you.

Lost both parents to the big C.

Mum over 40 years ago and dad 10 years later.

They were both smokers and I've never smoked. Hopefully, it's not hereditary.

Good on you for writing it down. Hopefully that has added some clarity for you.

Cancer has, up to now, been a friends of parents illness. I was aware from a young age when my friends lost their mum. They were in bits and subsequently the dad sank into alcoholism, compounding the difficulties of my friends. But still, it seemed a little distant, or I was too young to let it sink in.

But now, this year, 7 weeks ago, a mate died of cancer. He was 40. My age, with kids a similar age to mine. Devastating. I had a catch-up with him just before, and we shot the breeze. He was hopeful that the 2nd chemo course would help, but it didn't. I'm at the other end of the country from his wife and kids, so struggling to help in any way. His kids have just started to race cx, so I will think of ways to help if I can with this.

Gutting, devastating. Reminds me to live more.

First of all, well done for coming on here and talking about what sounds like a deep-seated fear and anxiety on your part. Don't worry about mocking, this is a decent place.

One in three of us will develop some form of cancer at some point in our lives. I had it in my 20s, I may go for another turn in the future. Pretty much everyone either knows someone who has been affected, or has been affected themselves. It's perfectly normal to feel nervous or anxious about your health, we all do at some point or another.

A lot of people find cancer scary because there is an element of randomness about who gets it. It also gets a disproportionate amount of coverage in the media.

How you respond to that is another issue. I can see that you feel trapped in a bit of a vicious cycle - your stress, focused on cancer, is pretty debilitating, and perhaps leading to lifestyle problems which, in turn, make you think your individual chances of developing cancer are higher, feeding your anxiety.

You're doing the right thing - you've clearly recognised that your level of anxiety is not a normal response and are getting some help with that. Your condition really isn't unique - it's called carcinophobia, and is simply an irrational fear of developing cancer.

There may be other forms of therapy you haven't explored - maybe hypnotherapy - which may help. Perhaps have a chat with your therapist next time you go.

But the thing to recognise is that the evidence that stress can cause cancer is very weak, so don't add to your burden that way.

But now, this year, 7 weeks ago, a mate died of cancer. He was 40. My age, with kids a similar age to mine. Devastating. I had a catch-up with him just before, and we shot the breeze. He was hopeful that the 2nd chemo course would help, but it didn't. I'm at the other end of the country from his wife and kids, so struggling to help in any way. His kids have just started to race cx, so I will think of ways to help if I can with this.

That's scary. I think we may have both known the same bloke.

Edinburgh?

Lost my dad to lung cancer when he was 54, he was positive he'd beat it until about a month before he died. In the last few months before he passed he talked about selling the business when he recovered and spending more time at home and going fishing. Sadly the nearest he got to fishing was being pushed along a river bank. I had to quit work and run the business until we could sell it. I knew he was in trouble when he stopped trying to return to work and help out.
The one thing I took from that awful year was that if I fancy a "fishing trip" I take one.

Edinburgh?

Yep. 🙁

Lost my Grand Mother to Lung Cancer 3 years ago, we were very close - I didn't have the most standard of up bringing’s and I spent at much time living with her as my parents.

My Wife lost her Mum to Cancer about 10 years ago, that was terrible - not only did She and her 3 sisters lost their Mum, they lost their home too. She's a District Nurse now, a big part of her work-load is caring for end of life Cancer patients.

I know these things are far from certain, but I read that a decent proportion of cancers are caused by lifestyle, I've really made the effort to try to reduce my chances - if nothing else we had our eldest when I was 37, I'm going do everything I can to be fit, healthy and active at a bare minimum until she's grown up and 'settled' if I can. (that sounds more morbid that I mean it to be).

Have lost four family members to cancer (all different: lung; renal; pancreatic; oesophageal), my mum was the youngest at 60.

The big worry for many with cancer is its randomness: two people can lead the same life with the same risk factors, one will get cancer the other won't. My dad smoked 60 a day (Navy Cut) from the age of 14 until his mid 50s - not a hint of cancer when he died. The lung cancer in the above list was smoking related.

It's another cause of death, just more prevalent these days due people living longer and therefore having more time for the body to mutate. Cancer is rare in many wild animals because they don't live long enough for the mutations to take hold - as an extreme example look at Pripyat nr Chernobyl, high levels of radiation that should cause cancers but little evidence of it in the local wildlife.

@martinhutch - ygm

As someone who had Cancer I understand your feelings towards this issue. I am now 7 years in remission & I am grateful for every single day I have had since I was diagnosed. I appreciate the second chance I have been given & I never waste any of the extra time I now have.

In my case I went through the highs & lows of the Cancer depression rollercoaster, one minute happy as Larry the next uncontrollable tears of sadness which wasn't triggered by anything in particular. I struggled with this for a long time & my mood swings were hard for those closest to me.

Part of my recovery was found on here when I too asked for help & the STW massive didn't disappoint. I was contacted by other STW'ers who had also had been effected by Cancer in one way or another. I now have a support network who I can call on if I have a relapse or need to talk to someone outside of my immediate family.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that we all deal with Cancer in different ways & that sometimes we need someone who we can talk openly to about our fears & hopes. If you need someone to talk to or help my email in in my profile.

BBC Radio 4 has been covering this in a very interesting and positive way every Monday evening at 5.45, interviewing the reporter Steve Hewlett, who has been talking about his battle with cancer and his struggle to get effective drugs out of the cash-strapped NHS:

http://www.radiotimes.com/news/2016-10-11/bbc-radio-4-broadcaster-steve-hewlett-telling-my-boys-about-my-cancer-was-the-hardest-thing-ive-ever-had-to-do

Job to know where to start.....

I'm 28 now, my cousin, paternal side, 6 months older than me, she had cancer aged 2, had treatment for a few years, got the all clear. It came back at 16, she died at 18.

Our aunt, same side of the family, she was diagnosed and went within 2 years, a few years later.

Her sister, she's had breast cancer and a mastectomy, she's now had the all clear.

My Nan, same side, she had breast cancer but had the all clear.

Still on paternal side, but my Grandad's family, at least one of his siblings died of cancer.

My mum has had cancer, twice, a malignant melanoma, lost an eye, when I was a toddler, got all clear, then very early stage ovarian a few years ago, they removed everything, she didn't have to have radio or chemotherapy.

On mum's side, she's had at least 2 uncles go from cancer. Her sister too, 2 years from diagnosis to the end. 2 1/2 years ago.

So yeah, I think it's probably gonna knock on my door at some point, though it's mostly affected women in my family, but I don't worry about it, if it does, I'll fight it, it can **** off.

Firstly, apologies for what is going to be a very long post.

Cancer is a terrible disease that has affected my life an awful lot. I lost my mum when I was 13 to cervical cancer; she was 33. She went through a hysterectomy, radiotherapy and chemo but to no avail because it spread to her lymph system. My sister and I had to watch as our mum, a hugely strong, fit and active lady basically wasted away in front of us.

After my mum passed away, we went to live with my grandparents who we were really close to because our dad is a waste of space (violent, drunk, just generally useless). Three years after my mum passed away, our nan was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died very quickly (the summer after my GCSE’s). This threw out home life up in the air once again because my grandad was still working so we fended for ourselves a fair bit which I think contributed to my losing focus on school and doing to so well in my A Levels.
During this time, my grandad was trying to find a new companion to see his days out with which my family found hard because we were all still grieving, plus it meant that he wasn’t around that much whilst wining and dining ladies or sailing. In the end, he found a very nice lady who he married and our family has grown as her family and our family have integrated. I went to uni so my sister went to live my uncle, who was the youngest of my mums three brothers and sister.

This uncle was then diagnosed with Leukaemia three years after my nan passed away. Again, he was young, relatively fit and healthy. He lost his battle in 2004, leaving two small children (2 and 4) but went out with a bang and made sure that he lived life to the full in his two year battle with his disease. He went skiing not long after his first bone marrow transplant! The first transplant failed, so we were back to square one. The second did work, but in the end the chemo was too much for his organs to deal with. I was sitting my final uni exams waiting for the call. His death was a bit of a hammer blow for me personally because I was really really close to him. In many ways he was more like an older brother and someone who I looked up to hugely. He was also responsible for me getting into cycling – his Cannondale covered in ano purple bits was the most amazing thing I’d seen!

In the case of my uncle the hope, false dawns etc was much worse because I was that bit older so understood more. It was also the third time that we’d been through this. The hardest thing is that most of my family don’t / can’t talk about those who we’ve lost over the years – my uncle and aunt left are the worst for this. This aunt donated her bone marrow for my uncle’s transfusions and I’m sure that she blames herself for the transplants not working.
This year was the 20th anniversary of my mum’s death and I found it much harder than previous years. Partly because it is now two decades which is a huge amount of time when you’re 33 and partly because we have an awesome little boy who she’ll never meet. My sister had a long talk about our fading memories on the day and we both lit candles like we do every year.

The one thing that cancer has taught me is that life can be very short so live it as best you can and make sure you bloody enjoy it. Hopefully the OP can find a way to do so. It does appearer to be very random too; my mum and uncle were both pretty fit, didn't drink much, didn't smoke and were young. My nan smoked and liked a drink.

Personally have been very lucky, not had to see any close family members or friends suffer.
Worked in cancer research for 15 years or so now, so my relationship with it is more biological if that makes sense. From a science perspective I find it very interesting, and was able to remain detached from it for many years, despite having been bombarded with statistics, imaged and the facts of how it can kill. I've also interacted with survivors and bereaved through funding drives etc.
My job can entail consenting patients to taking their tumours, so being in theatre to collect resected organs etc.
It wasn't until I had kids that I've started to become a bit paranoid about it, the thought of my kids growing up with out a parent or even grandparents really scares me.
So I pester my family a lot about diet, alcohol and exercise, these are things we can all control and while they are certainly no guarantee , statistically they improve your chances a lot. As does being aware of your body and I'd encourage any one to go to the docs any time you notice something unusual.

In that way OP I hope you can see that there are things you can do to help yourself and enjoy life.

I thought it was something that happened to other people. Then my Dad died of it last year after 3 battles spanning 9 years. He'd survided the first two, I didn't expect him to die from it until some time into his third treatment and it was obvious it wasn't going to work.

It started me thinking and asking...

All 3 of my dead grandparents have died from cancer.
My mum had cancer before I was born - me and my sister shouldn't have ever existed.
My uncles have had degrees of prostrate cancer.
My cousin's wife who is early 40's has terminal cancer. The returning breast cancer was diagnosed terminal a few months into pregnancy. She wasn't expected to live beyond last Christmas as a push, she's still with us, with daughter but living on a knife edge every day.

So yeah, it has affected me and does. I almost regard it as fate that it'll be mine and just hope that, should it transpire, I get the care that my Dad did.

But I don't think like that every day - no point. If it comes, it comes.

My mother committed suicide at age 46 because she was a single parent with 4 children and had terminal throat and lung cancer. I lost my first wife to breast cancer - she was only 28 - after 4 years of trying to fight it. I had testicular cancer at 29 and then skin cancer at 45. My 'current' wife had breast cancer at 48 and such severe septicemia that she literally hung onto life by a thread. I have the early stages of prostrate cancer but very slow growing so no active intervention yet.

Given all that I live my life as I've always done, look forward not back (except for today), celebrate the good memories not the bad. I try and make or do at least one thing a week which I would regret not doing if today was my last day.

It's really really tough dealing with cancer, the aftereffects and even more so if it's someone close to you.

Good luck to everyone who needs it.

Mum died of cancer when I was 16. Most of my family followed in the next decade. It's made me a hypochondriac and am happy to hit the docs at the first sign of trouble. Like the op as soon as my other half feels sick or gets aches and pains I always jump to worst case scenario. It drives her mad but she understands why. Don't really have any family left although I can take some solace in that I'm highly unlikely to get the type of cancers which most of them died of. My first and main target is to see my girls into adulthood. Anything over that is a bonus.

It also gave me a different outlook on like where I'm not interested in career status, success etc. I just want to spend loads of time with wife and kids as that's what I'll have cherished if I ever did get sick.

Lost a friend to it (bowel cancer) when I was 14.
Lost 3 family members to pancreatic cancer.
Have one friend who has fought cancer 6 times 😯
Currently have one friends fighting brain tumours.

Cancer is awful 🙁

Lost my brother in law aged 49 to pancreatic cancer in 2014. My wife had just started chemo for her breast cancer when we went to his funeral and her hair had started falling out, thankfully at the time only I could tell (didn't want her sister to know until later). Mrs_D is ok for now but getting check ups every 6 months. Fingers crossed...

Then October last year my stepdad was diagnosed with terminal cancer - it had presented as lung cancer but that turned out to be a secondary - the primary cancer was pancreatic. He died in May this year

The day after Mrs_D finished her radiotherapy, my then employer announced that there would be redundancies in our department, and it turned out to be me. Thank you very much for that 👿
I'm contracting now and the cancer has completely changed my outlook, on work especially. Contracting suits me as there's none of the corporate BS that go with an employed role, no pressure to climb the greasy pole or improve your performance. Life IS too short, don't let work stop you from enjoying it

Mum successfully had a brain tumour removed about 10 years ago, she's all clear. Dad successfully had an esophageal tumour removed about 5 years ago, he's all clear. Little sister had her pancreatic tumours removed 2 weeks ago, she was told yesterday that the results from the biopsies etc taken at the op are good and it hasn't spread. Check up for her in 6 months.

1 in 4 of us will die of cancer - something will get us in the end, and as we in general live longer cancers will increase as a cause of death. My mum had bowel cancer just before she turned 70, but as a macmillan nurse she caught it early and is currently in remission - she's a fantastic person.

I had stage 3 aggressive bladder cancer diagnosed in 2015 at the age of 43 with two kids then aged 6 and 4. Non-smoker, moderate drinker, good diet, good weight, fit - freak cancer. It was a very rough time and obviously stressful and depressing. It was very touch and go but had successful surgery (radical cystectomy - at last I got to be rad) last august and so far in the clear, with about 80% chance of living through the next 4 years. I've no prostate or bladder now, which is inconvenient but I'm back at work full time, and at about 95% fitness (podiumed two xc races in the last month, and was accepted onto the mass start for the highland trail 550 last week, so not going too bad). It was harder for my wife than me - she was amazing and I don't think the kids really worked out how serious everything was. She was incredible day to day. It was so reassuring to me that if things had gone the other way, she'd have done an amazing job of raising two kids on her own (for a while at least, I'm sure someone would snap her up!), and that she'd be ok financially.

I don't really know has it affected me outside the obvious physical things? I feel pretty much the same as before I got ill (grumpy!) - no real transformative experience, although I work shorter hours, and am more focussed on getting things done. Every ache and pain sets alarm bells ringing. But, I'm actually doing stuff that I never got round to before (racing more, bikepacking, going off with friends to play music for a weekend, looking after the kids so my wife can go ride horses for a weekend in return). It's the biggest cliche but it does [b]really[/b] bring home how short life is for all of us - which in a way is no bad thing. I'd still take my life over 95% of the world's population - lovely wife, lovely kids, fantastic friends, nice house, good job. I just wish weekends were four days long to pack in more good things!

Sister died in January of metastatic melanoma complications
Mother died in June of metastatic melanoma
I ride my bike to try and forget.

My day job is developing new drugs for cancer. It's pretty sobering stuff.

My mother died 15 years and 7.5 months ago today. I know because we discovered we were pregnant the day after the funeral with my first. One of my few regrets in life is that my mum never knew she was a grandma - and she dearly would have wanted to be.

It's not nice, especially seeing my dad now getting old alone and him dealing with health issues; my sister has never got over it (she was 17 at the time) really, my kids and I speak about 'grandma who you never met'. I regularly glance up at her picture on the wall and miss her.

But my mum lived a full life, and encouraged us all to do so, even more from her bed when the cancer really took hold. She dealt with the trials and challenges with humour (we bought her Lego when she had a leg amputated...) and humility, and always said 'why NOT me?' to anyone who said 'why you?'.

My mums funeral was last week. Two months after ( by chance ) discovering pancreatic cancer at stage four.
My mum stayed in great spirits before passing away but she didn't want to know how long she had remaing, so the family and I had to go on as normal.
It's the biggest and most aweful lie I've ever told. Making plans for Christmas etc knowing she wouldn't be around to see it.

Never knew my biological dad because he died from leukemia when I was 6 months old.

My mum remarried a few years later and the chap adopted me as his own. I owe an unimaginable amount to him. But I could never shake the feeling that I missed out on something by not knowing my biological dad. Not my new dad's fault in any way. Just a little splinter I've always had.

I've also held god, religion and religious people in contempt since I was 5 or 6 because of it. My reasoning was this: if god exists he could have saved my dad but chose not to in which case he's a ****, or he couldn't do so in which case he's pointless. I was at CoE school and I felt very much the odd one out because of this.
Later in life it has also prevented me from feeling i could get close to my wife's family because they are religious (even though they are lovely).

My mum has just been on Radio 5 talking about Death Cafes (she has metastatic breast cancer). I'm just about to listen - I'm fairly sure it will freak the shit out of me.

Mrs Dubs lost her mum to an aggressive brain tumor 5 years ago.

Make me think I'm not that interested in spending the next 20 years working when I might only have 10 left.

My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer around 4 years ago. Luckily she's out the other side now with a 2 year old and a 2 month old that we never thought we'd have in the family. It was a tough time and wouldn't like to go through it again. Then about 2 years ago I found a lump somewhere I didn't really want to find one, which scared the shit out of me whilst waiting from the initial trip to the doctors the month or so I had to wait for an ultrasound to give me the all clear. That had me scared to the point of keeping my mouth shut about it. The only person I told initially was my boss purely so I could get the time off work to get to the doctors and then to the hospital.

Yup freaked the shit out of me

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b084zrrd

1:36 for about 10 minutes.

My mother and my father both have cancer. My mother has had chemo, which destroyed her immune system so much that she couldn't finish the course. She's had surgery, which removed the bits of it they could reach but left a lot in her abdomen. And she's just started radiotherapy for tumour behind her eye that mushroomed in a matter of weeks. She's an amazing, indomitable woman. As soon as she left her first radiotherapy session last month she went on an autumnal bike ride, eyepatch and all. She's lived with cancer for around 15 years now.

There's a little less of my Dad after surgery for bowel cancer. They think they got it all, but they can't change the genes that make it more likely it will come back. He's also got a slow-burning blood cancer. He never ever grumbles. Neither of them do. I love both of them more than anything and it hurts that I know they're suffering, will continue to suffer and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

Younger brother is fighting bone cancer, have lost family members over the years.
One that stands out for me is a colleague from my last job. He was an odd bloke, we had a fair few rows and laughs too. Abiding memory of going to a comedy club, turned out we both had the same sense of humour and actually spontaneously high-fived each other after a particularly good act. Travelled with work together quite a lot. He struggled with an unknown illness for a couple of years before being diagnosed with bowel cancer. Then went into rapid decline. He came into work shortly before he died and it affected me deeply, didn't look like the same bloke. Dawned on me afterwards that he'd just come in to say goodbye. Strange thing is, just last week, I happened to see his wife with her new bloke on Facebook (I'm not a frequent visitor of that site) and I was a bit shocked, briefly. Stupid cos it must be 10 years since he died.
#****cancer

Mum died in 2000 from a recurrence of the cancer on the brain stem. She had seized her opportunities while living with the first bout and 15 years remission. It ****ed up my university time and when she died I nearly ****ed up my own family. Mrs S was a tower of strength and it's down to her that I still have a family and home of my own.

My own tiny bit of prostate cancer I couldn't give a shit about. I'm going to die with it not of it.

My best friend (who some will remember from here as 29erKeith) died in April from leukaemia.

The 18th months during which he was ill and in hospital was the worst period of my life. I hated going into the hospital every night with no idea what I would find when I got there. Watching him suffer tore me apart but taught me a lot about the fragility of life and, on his part, what courage really is

He left a wife and a 3yr old lad so now my focus is trying to look out for them. And on an extreme duathlon I am doing next year, but have started training for now, to remember him and raise money for Bloodwise. Having a goal like that, something that would have meant something to him, is therapy for me.

No-one should have to bury their Dad/husband/brother/best mate at 35yr olds because of cancer.

Great thread, very important to talk about it, involve others, see if you can help people catch things early. Me and a group of 7 others, 2 of whom have also had Prostate Cancer organised an awareness ride back in May. Got good press, raised £5K for PCUK, was in local paper, conversation with local MP etc. If it helps one person catch the bastard early then it's worthwhile :

[img] ?oh=56e9829a79ce5c4577d732fb93d4d499&oe=58EFCE2D[/img]

Sanny's even going to write it up, on here, sometime soon 🙂

Bloody hell curto80 - I had completely missed that. What a shame - I remember that he fought it very hard.

I went to my best friend's funeral on my 18th birthday. He'd battled a brain/spine tumour for 14 months. I remember how kind his family were to me on the day - and how undeserving I felt: he hadn't made it to 18.

But cancer doesn't worry me too much - 5 years ago I was told by a doctor that I'm at risk of developing a rare disease that could just stop me in my tracks one day. It has meant the end of exercise, which has been a hard blow, but I do tend to focus on progressing with life.

None of us knows what will kill us, or when that might be. So, like Saul Bellow said: seize the day!

Compared to what some of you guys have been through... Not as much as it have done.

Both my maternal grandparents had cancer, my grandfather lived for 10 years post-diagnosis and died from something else entirely. My grandmother was diagnosed with Leukaemia and died from it 11 months later. I would not want to experience the same last months of her life she did. My mum had stage 3 ovarian cancer and had lived for 8 years post-diagnosis with no further complications. Fingers crossed.

8 years ago at this time of year ,I lost first my dad to cancer and 8 weeks later lost my mom as well to the horror that is cancer
Hate this time of year as brings back alot of memories

In 2008 our daughter who was 2.5 years old was diagnosed with cancer. First may bank holiday she was fine by the next she was having chemo it was that quick. She was diagnosed with neuroblastoma and she fought bravely. In fact all the kids on the ward were quite resilient and showed incredible courage. Just as we were seeing the light at the end of the tunnel she relapsed and it became clear we were going to lose her. In September,2009 she passed away. After that I hear about other kids being diagnosed with the same cancer and I know of several parents who we met during treatment who have lost their children too.
I now do challenges to raise money for neuroblastoma research and this year I ran a half marathon every month this year. In fact last weekend we held our own half marathon event and 30 of us gathered to run 13.1 miles round the streets of Durham. It helps me to have this to focus on. I hate cancer and wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy.
My nan died of cancer but she didn't know that she had it. We found out after the postmortem. There is a mother at the school gates who is recovering from breast cancer and is doing well so far.

Sister in Law is currently putting up a good fight against lymphoma. She has a large family to support her but last few months have been tough going for everyone. I think the scariest thing is that she has it so young and when she beats this there will always be that cloud over her that it will likely return at some point. There's also the unknown impacts down the line e.g. fertility issues which may cause more heartache. It really is shit.

My wife works in palliative care and sees the worse cases everyday. This has made her constantly fear the worst for her sister but I think it is important to remember that more and more people are beating cancer. I hope in my lifetime treatment hits the point where it just isn't viewed as a killer disease anymore.

My dad died of ca stomach when he was 47 and I was 14. I'm 47 next month and my son is 15. There are some black thoughts now and then.

My mum died July 16th this year. She had lymphoma. Her decline was mercifully swift in the end. She was reconciled to her end. She was 86. I think about her every single day. More than once

My dad died 12 days later. He had lung cancer but mercifully he passed peacefully in his sleep (I think he just gave up, his wife and co-dependent of almost 60 years was gone, what really was left for him). He was 82,

I'm glad I didn't have to watch him die of lung cancer like his father. I was a young arrogant man, never really appreciated him for what he was until too late. He was admitted to hospital with terminal lung cancer and given 6 weeks to live. He was a fiercely independent man who hated being a burden on anybody. He lasted 6 months. The last time I saw him he had just been given another blood transfusion and he had plainly had enough. He talked about wanting to go for a walk by the harbour and how he wanted to see Peggy (his pre-deceased wife, my gran) again. It broke my heart and made me feel inadequate for not having been a better grand child.

I'll not hide the fact that tears are streaming down my face as I type this.

#****cancer

My experience with cancer is nowhere near as poignant as some of the above. Having said that when I was a teenager my nan and aunt (on my dad's side) both passed away from cancer. Stomach and lung respectively. More recently my wife's mother passed away from cancer four years ago just before Christmas. That was royally shit, seeing her degenerate over a period of six months ash she fought it. In the end I think she'd just had enough. Still remember seeing her for the last time, very sad. Does make me wonder, if the big C ever came for me and the chance of beating it was slim, I'd probably say stuff it and try and enjoy my last few months on earth rather than going through chemotherapy.

I know a little bit about cancer.

Don't be scared. The best piece of advice I received from someone was a guy called Julian Materna; the one-armed MTBer from on here. He told me that it was okay to be scared, but that what we do when we're scared is what defines us; something I've repeated to my daughters (aged 5 and 2.5) every day since they were born.

Currently the longest living cardiac and skeletal AS survivor in history. And if I'm honest, I wouldn't be the man I am today without cancer, so in a strange way I owe it.

Currently looking for corporate sponsors to help fund a solo row around the UK for childhood cancers and CF, if anyone wants to help me kick it in the bollocks...?

Dad died of it, friends 3 yo died of it, best friend died of it.
Awful.
But that Bullheart guy, now that's a story *high five* hope your Seren is good, mines great ! May you live long and prosper.
One day we will work it out , but there's a long way to go.

My father died of lung cancer when I was 2. Its wierd but I never imagined myself reaching 42 as I am now. Never thought I'd be a father myself. Dont know why really. I like the op seems to be am a bit terrified of dying and leaving my son without a father. When he was 2 I found it especially tough. Now he's six I'm not really sure what my next target is 18 I suppose. Dont really know what my point is or why I feel like I do so I'll just leave it here.

Family members,friend's family members .etc etc.
Currently, a really good friend from work whose wife is quite ill.
Bstardsquad.

My first introduction to cancer was 40yrs or so ago. We were in our early 20s. Speaking to my next door neighbour one evening and he offered me a load of tools, "clearing out your shed Stanley?" I asked. "yes" he replied "I've only got 6wks to live, got cancer" At that time we didn't know what it was, and he was gone within 6wks.
His son is mow our neighbour living in my wife's parents old house, both of who succumbed to cancer.
I have lost a number of good friends, workmates and relatives to cancer. Some are in remission, testicular, bowel etc.

It's a year ago this week since my dad passed away after suffering for many years with COPD, heart, lung, arthritis and other complications due to meds. He had cared for my mum for 10yrs after she suffered a post op stroke induced dementia. Mum was hospitalised for 9mths after an op to repair a burst varicous vien(caused by an over tight bandage) According to many on the various wards she was on they were surprised she lived after that initial 9mth period never mind 10yrs(that was 3yrs ago in Jan). Dad was a broken man when mum did and went downhill fast.....
Watching fit, healthy, active people suffer any terminal illness is painfull.

Two good friends have suffered from it, both now thankfully over it. Although one is now whining about his man-flu, which is probably more irritating 🙂 The other one is Spanish and made of sterner stuff, and I'm meeting up with him for a run on Saturday.

The flip side was losing my mum to pancreatic cancer in March, thankfully the end was fairly quick. But still: #****cancer.

Up until 2 years ago, cancer had only touched my life when my grandfather died when I was too young to understand what was happening. Then my uncle visited us in west wales in 2014 and came down with a mystery illness. He had just received his GB age group triathlon team suit, was fit as a fiddle and days later couldn't get out of bed. After a while he was diagnosed with cancer and now it's so far spread that it's terminal. He's fighting with incredible stoicism but he's in constant pain.

Another uncle died of it only a few weeks ago and my cousins are trying to deal with it as best they can.

And now I've just got off the phone to my dad in hospital who is due in theatre tomorrow morning to have major surgery to remove a tumour in his stomach. Even if it is successful, it's a month in hospital plus 6-12 months recovery. To be honest, rationale or not, I'm absolutely shitting myself that this evening's conversation could be the last one we have...

Right now, me getting cancer does not concern me; I'm just absolutely furious that it has the audacity to hurt those I hold dear and rob my 3 month old son of loving family members before he has the chance to know who they are.

**** you cancer, if you were a person I'd rip your goddamn head off before you hurt anyone else.

My younger brother was diagnosed with bowel cancer at 29.
He battled through almost 7 years of treatment before metastatic Liver disease killed him in 2013, aged 36.

It was incredibly difficult watching this huge rugby playing sports freak wither away to an unrecognisable shell of his former self.

We've all struggled with his loss on so many levels, and having to tell my 6 year old daughter that the uncle she idolised had gone crushed me.

#****cancer

I'm one year post op and treatment and to be honest Im really struggling at the moment. Every time I get a bit run down or my glands are fighting something off, I convince myself it's back and think of nothing else.

I think I'd be OK if it was just me but I'm on 35 with two boys aged 4 and 18months

It also seems to be every where you look at the minute with adverts, on radio on here... I'm exhausted from the worry....

My father is 67 and has stage 4 renal cancer (basically spread from kidney through to lungs and also his bones).

He's gone from a strong, fit 13.5 stone down to 9 stone of skin and bones in a year.

Chemotherapy is affecting him badly. The side effects are harsh and he can barely speak a full sentence without being out of breath. Walking 20ft does the same thing. He's really struggling.

I live in the US and left him to fly home last week not knowing if I'll see him again before he dies.

As I was pulling away, I wound down the car window to tell him I loved him again. At that moment, a huge flock of birds flew by and circled around. It was an amazing sight. I called to him and pointed. My last image of him was him looking up in wonder at this and marveling at nature. I think about it all the time and it's really dusty here a lot.

#****cancer +1

Wow, well both paternal Grandparents died of lung cancer, though were heavy smokers. Younger brother died of Leukaemia, youngest brother just had the all clear following testicular cancer, wife just had all clear from skin cancer.

Wow, there are some truly heartbreaking stories in this thread.

And if I'm honest, I wouldn't be the man I am today without cancer, so in a strange way I owe it.

Since my earlier post, I've been thinking about things quite a lot but this has resonated with me a lot.

As shit as it was, my life would be very different if my mum hadn't passed away and made my sister and I move back down south. I'm sure I wouldn't have met my other half and I wouldn't have had my gorgeous little boy.

It would appear that my family are unlucky in the cancer stakes. Mums had a large part of her bowel removed and an uncle and two cousins I'm aged with died this year. Dad's parents both copped to it too.

I hate cancer.

Thinking of all of you who have been affected. As always on these threads, I feel humbled when I hear of your experiences and the courage you have had.

Take care.

J

My sister in law died of cancer in July. Actually the cancer did not kill her but the treatment did as she had a massive bleed after lung surgery. She had been battling breast cancer for the last 5 years.

The interesting thing is they live in London and had private medical insurance so she went to world class doctors on Harly Street. Their current view, well at least around Easter this year was that there have been so many advances that if they could keep her alive for another 2 to 3 years then there is a very very good chance there would be new drugs available that would not cure her but would stop the cancer in it tracks. A bit like the way HIV is treated.

The real crapper was 4 weeks after Amanda died, her older sister fell off a horse and died as well. Her poor father lost his wife Dec 2015 and then 2 daughters in 2016!! The only saving grace is that they had 6 kids.