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Again, what difference does it make?
If you overcook the scoop the scalding hot soup goes on the table rather than on your silken cummerbund *
* Definitely a euphemism
Wait, what? That’s a thing?
Allegedly. I think its one of those handy ways to identify the oiks from their betters.
I did try it once and the only other explanation I could think of is if the person who invented the rule had shaky hands.
I eat with fork in the right hand. Just makes more sense having the more dominant hand being the one that goes to the mouth.
Why on earth would you care which way round they are?
Okay, fair enough, I don't really care about that. But it's still surprises me that, regardless of which hand the children hold each in, no-one seems to have taught them how to use them.
While we are on the subject, what about weirdos who hold the knife as if it were a pen? I think they think it looks 'refined', but it's just idiotic.
I eat with a fork (or fork + spoon if eating spaghetti) unless we are entertaining, then it's a knife and fork every time. My kids (14) can use a knife and fork, but I still catch them using their fingers sometimes and it drives me bonkers.
While we are on the subject, what about weirdos who hold the knife as if it were a pen? I think they think it looks ‘refined’, but it’s just idiotic.
Yeah, trying to look 'posh' and achieving the exact opposite I think. I always wonder how they can eat anything that actually requires a bit of effort to slice. Steak for example. You'd need to ensure you always ate soft, beige food if you hold your knife like you were painting a delicate watercolour.
I do love a good judgemental thread to make me feel better about my own inadequacies! 😁
Anyone got a kid who asks, 'But why!?' every time you tell them to use their knife and fork properly?
I find it difficult to persuade him why he should eat 'properly', tbh, beyond telling him people will think he's uneducated if he doesn't.
In reality, what are the benefits of eating a sausage properly and not just sticking it on the end of your fork and biting chunks off? I guess it makes sense if you want eat a piece of sausage, a piece of toast, some beans, back to the sausage, etc but if the kids aren't eating that way anyway what benefit is there for them to do things the 'right' way?
or fork + spoon if eating spaghetti
oh yes!
The art of the fork swirl on the spoon 'bowl' to make a little nest of spaghetti. I see a lot of folk who look otherwise intelligent and sophisticated not pull this off and instead resort to some sort of cutting it up abomination. It's not affectation, it's genuinely useful. But of course you righties might make a better hash of it if you put the bloody fork in the right (in both senses of the word for you) hand. If however we are talking about actual hash (of the food variety) I think there is a law somewhere that it must be eaten fork only. You can eat it in the home, but it's still campfire food, therefore campfire rules apply.
In reality, what are the benefits of eating a sausage properly and not just sticking it on the end of your fork and biting chunks off?
In reality, what are the benefits of eating a sausage properly and not just sticking it on the end of your fork and biting chunks off?
Partly to reduce mess. Hold it on your fork and gnaw at it repeatedly and bits of meat and fat splashes fall off. On your clothes, on your face and on the table.
Partly good manners and a little respect for those around you. In the same way you teach kids not to masticate their food with a slack jaw and open mouth for all to see.
For all the people who hold the fork in their non dominant hand; if you eat with just a fork, do you still hold it that way? If you're eating a bag of crisps, which hand do you use to eat with?
Partly to reduce mess. Hold it on your fork and gnaw at it repeatedly and bits of meat and fat splashes fall off. On your clothes, on your face and on the table.
Can't say I've ever noticed this being an issue, tbh.
Partly good manners and a little respect for those around you.
Yeah, but good manners should have some basis. He knows adults don't like it (me and his Mum) but his friends don't care.
Some kids are just going to be oppositional no matter what so you have to pick your battles. I try to nudge him towards eating properly but it's not worth the argument every ****ing night.
I'm left handed for most things, although I use a knife and fork like a 'rightie'. However I do use a soup spoon in my left hand, which can be irritating dining with a rightie to the left of me...
One thing I've always wondered about: is it considered rude to use chopsticks with your left hand? I really can't do it with my right.
My wife eats with leftie K/F combo and therefore so do my kids. Of all 3 of those only my daughter is actually left handed. It does annoy me when they "lay the table" that everything is back to front but being as it's only me that it bothers, I have to get over it. If I'd noticed it while we were "courting", we'd never have gotten married.
I do find it odd that when eating with both utensils my cack hand becomes incredibly dexterous but when faced with a pasta dish or similar where it's a one handed forking that's required, I switch to my right. The fork on it's own in my LH feels wrong.
My wife eats with leftie K/F combo and therefore so do my kids. Of all 3 of those only my daughter is actually left handed. It does annoy me when they “lay the table” that everything is back to front but being as it’s only me that it bothers, I have to get over it. If I’d noticed it while we were “courting”, we’d never have gotten married.
I do find it odd that when eating with both utensils my cack hand becomes incredibly dexterous but when faced with a pasta dish or similar where it’s a one handed forking that’s required, I switch to my right. The fork on it’s own in my LH feels wrong.
You sir are a victim of circumstance. You live with enlightened souls (apart from your leftie daughter who is clearly possessed by the devil) yet still let convention yet in the of own path to enlightenment. I'll pray for you.
edit - I feel this is the right time to out myself as a computer mouse deviant who despite all leftie logic continues to use it in my right hand, because it's there. Tried swapping it to my dominant left hand and I'm crap at it.
You live with enlightened soles
In a sandal factory?
Manners are about respect for others. Blimey it's easy to have your meal spoilt by someone chewing a gobfull with an open mouth or using cutlery like they've just discovered it. My kids always had their meals at the table, no radio or TV, we ate and talked.
In a sandal factory?
Damn you - and I can't even blame that one on my leftie induced dyslexia.
I've edited - but my shame lives on in your post 🙁
I find it weird that people who are right handed hold the fork(or spoon) in their left hand.
Im a leftie, and as such hold the tool I am trying to control in my dominant hand.
I'm left handed but use a knife and fork in an orthodox fashion. I did get some alarmed stares in India eating with a chappatti in my left hand.
I was amazed by how many of them couldn’t use a knife and fork, by which I mean fork in left hand, knife in right hand, holding the food with the fork whilst using the edge of the blade of the knife to slice it.
I use a spork for certain meals, and I bring a spoon towards me for soup - then again I couldn't give a toss how the food gets to my mouth, sometimes I forgo all cutlery when eating curries and use nan bread/flat breads - and if eating undressed salad I use my fingers.
age 51, and still eats food dropped on the floor.
Wait, what? That’s a thing?
It's what I was taught. My family are all working class from council estates so it's not as though we're posh.
I can,and do use k/f correctly,early 70's Catholic education, with sadistic trigger happy nuns in charge, does not tick me off,if people don't use them correctly.They are going straight to hell.
Manners are about respect for others. Blimey it’s easy to have your meal spoilt by someone chewing a gobfull with an open mouth or using cutlery like they’ve just discovered it. My kids always had their meals at the table, no radio or TV, we ate and talked.
Must be nice to have malleable kids.
For the record, we also eat at the table with no TV. My kids don't chew with their mouth open because they reckon it's unpleasant for others.
However, my son has decided that the way he uses his knife and fork are up to him. Anyone who has a problem with that has a 'you' problem and not a 'me' problem.
Other than the fact it might upset some overly precious boomers I'm struggling to find a good reason to persuade him otherwise.
I’d take flailing around with cutlery over chewing with a mouth wide open, or worse, talking with a mouth full of food. We’ve been real sticklers with our kids over this and they both stick to the rule rigidly. Unlike pretty much all their mates. Maybe they just hang round with wrong-uns, but it seems to be universal amongst their peers that inadvertently showing off your masticated food is ok. It ’s clear that nobody has told these kids otherwise. There’s one kid in particular that easts in such a disgusting way that I have to leave the room when he’s having his tea at ours, it is truly nauseating. I hadn’t mentioned it to my son, but independently he said to me last week “I don’t like sitting opposite XYZkid at lunchtimes, he eats with his mouth open and I can see all his chewed food.” They are 6y/o.
Right handed people are weird. They hold the fork in the left hand, do sawing with right hand, and then swap over to the right hand to do shovelling, and then swap back to do more sawing. Wtf. Surely shovelling into your mouth takes more dexterity than sawing. I hold k and f right handed and only ever use my fork in my left hand. I also only use a knife in my right for cutting as I found out early on bread knives are handed and won't cut straight using your left hand.
Right handed people are weird. They hold the fork in the left hand, do sawing with right hand, and then swap over to the right hand to do shovelling, and then swap back to do more sawing.
To be fair what you are describing their are right handed Americans. And their odd table manners is the least of their problems. They are Americans.
it’s still surprises me that, regardless of which hand the children hold each in, no-one seems to have taught them how to use them.
I don't recall ever being taught. I do remember my dad once saying to me with some incredulity "don't you know how to use a knife?" but he never did anything to correct that.
what about weirdos who hold the knife as if it were a pen?
I have half a memory that this is a UK/US split?
He knows adults don’t like it (me and his Mum)
Yet you can't explain why.
My partner eats with a fork and spoon unless she's eating something like a steak which really does need a knife. Think that's a cultural thing.
I feel this is the right time to out myself as a computer mouse deviant who despite all leftie logic continues to use it in my right hand, because it’s there. Tried swapping it to my dominant left hand and I’m crap at it.
Same.
There is a reason for this though. My first mouse was on an Atari STm, it plugged into the side of the computer and the tail wasn't long enough to reach around to the other side so I had no choice. It's proven fortuitous in the long run because I've spent half my career fettling other people's computers and having to continually swap it about would have been a right pain.
"Beep beep beep"
{Diesel engine noises}
"Loading!"
Me eating as a 51 year old.
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I’d take flailing around with cutlery over chewing with a mouth wide open, or worse, talking with a mouth full of food. We’ve been real sticklers with our kids over this and they both stick to the rule rigidly. Unlike pretty much all their mates. Maybe they just hang round with wrong-uns, but it seems to be universal amongst their peers that inadvertently showing off your masticated food is ok. It ’s clear that nobody has told these kids otherwise. There’s one kid in particular that easts in such a disgusting way that I have to leave the room when he’s having his tea at ours, it is truly nauseating.
Yes it is disgusting isn't it – I had manners drilled into me and I drill manners into my girls (so much so it has caused conflict during mealtimes but I think it is worth it).
I have a very good friend – he's well-educated, an ex-teacher, and seemingly a well-rounded adult. But he eats his food with just a fork, leaning over his food with the other arm 'circling' his plate like he is protecting it, and chews very loudly with his mouth open. It is the most horrendous thing to witness. When we go out for a curry, I always have to sit somewhere that minimises what I can see and hear.
Yet you can’t explain why.
It's just good manners.
He's not accepting this, for some reason.
If thinking table manners and other social skills are something that require some parental guidance, rather than letting kids make their own rules makes me an 'overly precious boomer', so be it 🙂
Me eating as a 51 year old.
That's disgraceful. Why haven't you taken the labels off?
It’s just good manners.
He’s not accepting this, for some reason.
... because you can't explain why.
And you can't explain why because it's a complete nonsense that someone made up centuries ago. You said it yourself, "what benefit is there?"
This issue has been dividing people since I were a lad. It is a useful skill in some situations, eg meat that needs carving and stabbing, and fish on the bone where it is important to do neither.
But it is also one of those secondary indicators of class by which some will judge us, which is unfortunate.
And you can’t explain why because it’s a complete nonsense that someone made up centuries ago. You said it yourself, “what benefit is there?”
Sure. But I know it's really going to upset some people.
Hence this thread.
If kids can eat appropriately it's a confidence builder, they're never going to feel out of place. It's not about malleability but rather treat it as the norm and it becomes the norm.
I expect it's something to do with sitting at dinner tables in fairly close proximity to each others where, to save a clashing of elbows, it makes sense for everyone to be the same way around and it was normal to have the sharp pointy thing in your dominant hand. ipso facto RH knife - other hand, fork.
These days less of an issue obvs
The art of the fork swirl on the spoon ‘bowl’ to make a little nest of spaghetti.
You can replace the "spoon bowl" with... the bowl. You don't need a spoon to do the fork swirl. And it saves on washing up.
If kids can eat appropriately it’s a confidence builder, they’re never going to feel out of place. It’s not about malleability but rather treat it as the norm and it becomes the norm.
If kids need to be able to fit in to feel confidence then I'd suggest that's not really confidence.
Anyway, we've been arguing with him about this for 5 years. When is it going to become the norm?
But I know it’s really going to upset some people.
Let them be upset? 🤷♂️ If someone is going to be mortally offended because someone else ate fish with the cheese knife then the issue here isn't your kids.
Chewing with your mouth open is bad manners. Holding your fork in a non-prescribed fashion is bad etiquette.
But it is also one of those secondary indicators of class by which some will judge us, which is unfortunate.
I don't think it's anything to do with class. Some people value manners, some people don't. My Grandad was a north Wales coal miner with 8 kids. He was a stickler for good table manners and manners generally. I've met plenty of people with a privileged upbringing who had a complete lack of them.
Even if I didn't think it was important, I think I could have handicapped my kids by not passing on what I knew to be good table manners. I've seen people who feel awkward or self conscious at work related social events or formal occasions because they didn't have that input as a kid.
Not a biggie in the grand scheme of challenges they might face, but if you can head off one little impediment to making their way in the world and instill some self confidence for little effort, why wouldn't you?