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Our eldest (6) has only been at "proper" school for just over a year, so I'm not sure if this is normal or not. All the parents (well, the mothers mostly) appear to think that we should be buying presents for our children's teachers...so far I've noticed the "end of the academic year" presents, and the Christmas presents. It appears that the parents of every child in the class are doing this. The mothers are all a bit cliquey (I stay well out of it) so perhaps it's just collective peer pressure...you don't want to be the parent who doesn't buy a present sort of thing. Oh, and I'm not talking about a six-pack of beer or a bottle of wine...more like a £30 bit of bling.
My thoughts are...WTF? I'm sure the teachers are excellent at their job etc, but we're pretty broke and showering a couple of teachers with 15 presents twice a year seems a bit ridiculous. My protestations were firmly slapped down by my wife, so I thought I'd come on here & whinge about it instead.
Do other people buy presents for their kids' teachers? Am I just being a whiny old cockbag?
Amazing, isn't it?
That's on top of the 13 week holidays, mahoosive pension, as much free chalks as you can fit in your briefcase etc etc etc.
Are teachers allowed to take the gifts?
In many private sector situations that would not be allowed. Discuss...
"Am I just being a whiny old cockbag? "
well, yes, but teachers won't be upset if you don't buy them something - they'll just take it out on your child next term.
Most parents have an emotional commitment to the person who looks after their kid for 30 hours a week and don'#t feel a bottle of wine once or twice a year is a big deal 😉
They get an apple if theyre lucky and they should be dammed happy with it. Workshy lazy bastards.
Most parents have an emotional commitment
top trolling! 😉
[s]Buying presents for[/s]Bribing your kids' teachers...wtf?
FIFY
Imagine you are friends with a teacher though. Have you ever thought about where they source their present for you?
[i]top trolling! [/i]
I was quite pleased with that one 🙂
I can't see why it's a big deal give a present or don't give a present - teacher's are pleased to receive them and (possibly more inportantly) the children often want to give them but it's not the end of the world either way.
Mrs Yoshimi is a teacher in not such a great area, at Christmas and end of acedemic year she usually arrives home with a few boxes of Roses/Ferrero Roche/Chocholate Orange, some 'worlds best teacher mugs and some Radox bath salts
I remembver in her first year being a bit shocked by this - I don't remember ever getting my teachers a present
My mate who works in a grammar school, comes home with 20 year old bottles of whisky, tickets for sporting event 😯
In many private sector situations that would not be allowed. Discuss...
In the NHS it's not at all but if people insist we have to report any gratuities and send any cash in for tax reasons.
Buy them a bottle of wine or some nice chocolate for a whole lot less than £30. Trust me, the teacher will be a lot more grateful for that than some other tat that the clique buys. I live with a teacher so know all about the stuff that is given and what is liked.
Some of my best friends are teachers/lecturers etc etc 😀 . See, a bottle of wine or some chocolate Heroes I could understand, fine, but a £30 brooch just seems a bit inappropriate imho.
£30 on bling or wine is stupid. Get your kids to bake a few cookies or something. Cost next to nothing and keeps the kids occupied for an hour. Teachers like nothing better than bogie flavoured cookies at Christmas anyway.
As a copper I think everyone who I deal with should buy me a present. Can't see any integrity issues with that at all, if I've solved a crime surely the victim has an emotional commitment to me? I'll accept whiskey, litre bottle single malt only, thanks.
A mixture of blackmail and Competitive Mum Syndrome. I'd say f--- that they should be happy with being paid a full time salary for a part time job.
YesAre teachers allowed to take the gifts?
Situations differIn many private sector situations that would not be allowed.
Done 😉Discuss...
lol @ Dave 🙂
As a copper I think everyone who I deal with should buy me a present.
Don't you just take a cut of any cash found when searching places?
Boxes of After Eights used to be the standard in my primary school, apparently being a teacher means you like your chocolate to taste of toothpaste.
Happened when I was at primary school (15-20 years ago now), but it was a public school, and it was normally just wine/chocolates or a card. Didn't happen at my state secondary, despite being a grammar school. I imagine it is more prevalent, and probably more expensive at public schools and primaries.
It's not like teachers get into teaching for the money or the presents, so I doubt they would hold it against you if you didn't get something, but it sounds like your wife and child may have made the decision for you anyway.
I'm surprised your surprised, it's the norm here in Surrey, we've got our's an ipad mini, can't wait to see his chubby smug face.
I've something I'd love to give to my kids teacher...
Kryton57 - now now, you'll ruin their ofsted.
Yup - this year's list is 2 lollipop people, 2 teachers (job-share y'see), nursery key worker and afterschool head honcho. All lovely people who do a great job, so I think a small Christmas gift as a token of appreciation is quite nice.
All bar one of these are women and they must end up with at least 30 boxes of chocolates each - I wonder how welcome these actually are? "Great, another box of Heroes, no doubt from the 2-for-1 offer at Sainsburys"
The lollipop lady with the prime spot out side the school needs to bring a van to get it all home in the days before Christmas!
Fair enough if its useful for distributing on, but this year we're apparently going for a homemade tablet approach, so I'm told. More personal. Hopefully cheaper. I'm all for that!
I thought the teachers might buy my kids a little pressie 😀
Ours are at primary school and TBH not even thought about buying the teacher anything. If it was suggested I wouldn't mind but I would be in the cocolate not bling camp!
Hand made card for is what our daughters teacher got last Christmas, will be the same this year. Not the same actual card obviously, or the same teacher. End of academic year all the mums buying gifts for the teacher so to be different we bought a gift for the class room for next year's intake to enjoy. Gift was based on what our daughter had enjoyed doing throughout the year. Seemed to be appreciated.
Certainly when I worked in the public sector I wasn't allowed to accept gifts. Tokens of appreciation are fine - I can see teachers being able to accept cards or hand made lovies from kids but shop-bought gifts I'm really surprised about.
My dad worked higher up in education and at LEA/Governor level there can frankly be some some shocking fowl play and cut-throat behaviour and he had to deal with being slandered and attempts to blackmail him all of which he managed to slap down. He wouldn't for a moment consider accepting gifts form anyone its all the leverage someone would need. If I was a teacher accepting gifts and the letter of the law is you shouldn't then I'd have concerns about how that could come back to bite me
Cards, specially selected from those bought just after Christmas last year with the yellow stickers at Tesco. Every little helps.
Jota, only about 30%, but that gets shared out amongst us all so doesn't fully fund my crack habit, and I'm still missing a trick not tapping up vulnerable victims?
If the gifts are supposed to be from the kids then I'd have thought something home-made would have more sentimental value? So do these teachers where all their bling or do they go straight onto eBay?
I think this is only common in the primary sector TBH. I've worked in secondary and it's very uncommon, or perhaps I'm just a crap teacher!
Disgusting behaviour which should be seen as an attempt by the parents to bribe the teachers.
Hopefully they will be reported and prosecuted.
Pedalhead
I think you should go post this on Mumsnet 😉
as much free chalks as you can fit in your briefcase etc etc etc.
How very dare you druid! Casting dispersions on my noble colleagues and I!!
Chalk is old school, it's whiteboard markers and printer paper these days.
EDIT: £1 a ream, since you're asking.
even that's old school, it's all smart boards at my school, like minority report.it's whiteboard markers and printer paper these days.
I teach guitar, so a lot less contact with individual kids in schools (30 mins max per week, and I rarely see parents) I probably get a couple of boxes of chocolates tops. The main area that I teach in is pretty affluent, but teachers don't seem to get huge amounts of lavish gifts here!....about 50% of my private students will get me a bottle of wine etc. I'm not fussed either way by it tbh.
rewski: yeah but they're attached to the wall too well and don't fit in my bag...
As a primary school teacher it can be nice to get a thanks. Something personal is always much nicer than something thats just money. Wine is alwsy nice though! :lol:It may surprise the less charitable out there but teachers do get fond of their class and it does actually mean something.
Also consider the fact that your child quite possibly sees more of their teacher than they do of you. They will get attached and want to buy something.
It can get a bit OTT though. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.
wtf hell no come on Pedalhead stand your ground on this one £30 I really am gobsmacked! no one else gets thank you gifts for what they do why should teachers be different! !???
I think the rules state "teachers can recieve gifts such as chocolates or whisky"
This was upped from "chocolates or wine" by an ex colleague who was a Union rep and happened to be sat the on the commitee.
I've never done better than a good scotch and that was 1 in 20 years. It seems quite age and gender specific. Its quite rare in a sixth form college, unless you happen to teach say health and social care with nearly all girls.
The bottle of whisky ironically solved another ethical dilema. I was asked if I'd tutor a student privately. I said no as I thought that was a conflict of intrest. So I made the same offer to all my other A-level students. "I'll be in room every time I'm free if you want to drop in". Several did but the one who'd asked for tuition got 10 hours worth for free. So the whisky seemed a nice gesture
Doesn't happen in the private sector! Well maybe not now but I've seen a contractor rapping a bottle of whisky for everyone who given him work in the last year. What about air miles, now don't get me started....
wtf hell no come on Pedalhead stand your ground on this one £30 I really am gobsmacked! no one else gets thank you gifts for what they do why should teachers be different! !???
What about bankers bonuses! Or companies that buy everyone an ipod for Christmas. Or put you up in a five star hotel after the Christmas meal...
Although I fully support not buying the teacher a present.
However I would urge anyone who think that a teacher has done a good job to say thank you.
Career low point. Staffing a day trip to France. Leave at 5:00 return at 20:00. One parent is 2 hours late picking up daughter. I'v stood in the rain waiting for 2 hours and no word of thanks. I should have handed her over to social services.
Thing is, in this case I don't think it's about how good the teacher is (although as far as I can tell they're perfectly good) I reckon it's more just down to the clique of mothers who want to be in favour or see themselves as the benevolent type. I guess that's what gets on my tits about it. A bottle of wine is a nice gesture, a £30 bit of bling is something else imho
Depends on school and area culture - we had a friend who taught at Windsor - she regularly got £100 vouchers, expensive perfume, a necklace etc...
Mrs_OAB and I are both teachers in the past - so we do a gift, but usually some home baked biscuits (the kids have to help) or equivalent. None of this spending squillions or getting into the usual middle-upper class bun fight of who gave the best pressie.
Er bankers bonuses etc paid by the employer and forms recognised part of renumeration package? Never thought I'd be defending bankers...we have very strict gratuity policy for good reason, and I agree with pedalhead it seems more of a competitive/clique thing than a heartfelt thanks for a lasting positive impact on your child.
yup get baking, handmade card or handmade bracelet sod the £30 gift especially if funds are tight why would you? good luck changing the missus mind 😉
even that's old school, it's all smart boards at my school
How the hell do you fit one of those in your brief case.