Buying a headstone - any tips?

Use lots of lubricant and brace yourself

My friend Ken is part of the family business that has run Bart Endean stonemasons for over 100 years. I know they treat each of their customers with huge respect, and they are all dedicated crafts people.

Use lots of lubricant and brace yourself

Presumably when you asked if they would put it up for you they misheard?

Presumably when you asked if they would put it up for you they misheard?

A grave error if ever there was one.

Just make sure you get a dead nice one.

Is there a buy now/pay later plan ?

Usually you buy a temporary one first to allow the ground to settle and so on, has this occurred, as then you go out and buy one locally and get them to fit, can't see you paying much more than a grand unless you want something really nice, is it a plot that'll have more than one person as well, i.e. parents, as you might have to plan a bit for the future?

consider insurance, my dads headstone was damaged by a car that crashed through the cemetery wall. Trying to get details from the police was a nightmare ended up claiming through Motor insurance bureau that process took months and my mum was £00's out of pocket for the repairs.

a rare event but it happened

Yes, def have to leave the ground to settle, about 6 months I think, in the meantime undertakers left a grave marking cross. One I've just paid for was £2100 supplied, installed & grave tided up including a £300 cemetery fee

Thanks all, the ground has settled so it’s time to go lifestyle accessory shopping

£37 to change your name by deed poll, nick one and save a fortune

I need to commission one for my parents. Will probably find someone here: https://www.letteringartstrust.org.uk/memorials

Thebunk, i know both Kens at bart endeans too from being in the trade, great people not seen either for a while.

What area are you?

Look in the cemeteries masons often put the name on the side of the base, carvings vary hugley in quality and detail if you are wanting that, detail takes time which costs, and a good mason should be rewarded like any other good professional, ask about NAMM fitting, use a NAMM/BRAMM registered mason, most are, make sure they are installing to Code of working practice, ground anchors and such, they should be doing it as most authorities require it, they will need to apply for a permit council/parish which will have a fee, they should not mark that up, and should be applied seperate to the total, ie no VAT..you can find out the fee from the council or parish.

Memorial insurance is an option, the mason will have details, damage happens, it shouldnt but it does and the insurance is not expensive.

Granite is the best option, dont think just the black ones are granite, many do but there are some stunning colours, silver inscriptions on a coloured granite can look really nice.

If a churchyard you will probably be limited in stone choice, area depending, many only allow sandstone or honed(non reflective polishing) on grey granite.

Dont install too soon, 6 to 12 months although it depends on area, a good mason will not want to install to soon, a bad one will say dont worry it can go straight in, some local aurhorities wont permit installation until after 6 months so again, ask.

Go direct to the mason, dont go through the funeral director.

Hope that helps

Less is more when it comes to headstone design in my opinion.

Thanks @ehwhome

I’m resigned to paying a London tax on the stone and it should be an easy enough fit as the graves butt up agains a concrete walkway and gravestones seem to get placed on this rather than earth. I’ll look at the work of others in the cemetery
Probably go black, relatively simple apart from either a shamrock or a harp being added - fortunately my dad seems to be in Irish corner in the cemetery so someone will have done similar.
The reality is in a decade or so I probably won’t be in the area / country and the grave will likely be unvisited.

No problem kilo, it sounds like strip foundations have been put in place by the council, more and more are doing this and is generally a good thing if it has been done neatly, the mason should still install a ground anchor or similar approved method.

+1 for Bart Endean 👍. North East and Nort West experience here (North of the Tyne). Lovely people and reassuring. Did not take the piss.

My mate made his own for his dad...

Bag of cement, some sand, rebar, water and a wooden mould he made in the workshop.

.

There used to be a headstone shop on Glasgow High Street with headstones on display in a window at about head height. You could sidle up to it and tilt your head up to check out if you would like how it looked or not. Sort of 'try before you buy'.

We tried to get one for mum 4 years or so ago, ~£1.5K for something quite plain (Quaker).

Kilo asked for help/advice buying a headstone for dad.

Just thought it remind some posters of that fact.

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https://www.namm.org.uk/home.eb?ebd=0&ebp=10&ebz=3_1708639897269

Hoping my family do not bother with one. Once I am gone from living memory who cares?

aware my father has no memorial other than family memory.

Place I’d like to be buried already has several members of my family in the plot, all it would need is the edge of the ‘frame’ around the plot to be suitably drilled to take the lead letters as used previously.
Nice quiet little place, I doubt anyone would bother to visit anyway.

Hmmm, why aren’t images showing?