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Perhaps we should send someone around to No. 10 to shout ‘Are you OK?’ through the letterbox.
Let's hope the **** has popped his clogs.
Do these companies have to show accounts or hand back anything not spent? I suspect not.
I can’t remember the last time I saw him on TV / doing / saying anything.
Perhaps we should send someone around to No. 10 to shout ‘Are you OK?’ through the letterbox.
I hope he's remembered to cancel the milk.
he's probably sporting another shiner.
Apparently on holiday in Scotland.
Before it becomes an independent country and refuses him entry.
Can MI5 have him arrested when he re-enters England on charges of conspiring with foreign powers to the detriment of the UK?
Given the amount of 'dubious' (downright dirty) russian money the tories have accepted in 'donations' (bribes) to push a destabilising agenda, I reckon we the people might have an even chance of getting a charge to stick....
Let’s hope the **** has popped his clogs.
My worry is that we'll find his body in a rarely used room, and the cat will have eaten half his face.
My worry is that we’ll find his body in a rarely used room, and the cat will have eaten half his face.
I have other things I'm more worried about to be honest. I forgot to buy celery for instance.
though she voted green at the last GE, mother has always liked Bozo. She said today on the phone "he doesn't seem up to the Job!"
Yes, ma and pa Gammon are finally starting to see the chinks in his armour. Ma Gammon even stated she'd never vote Tory again over their handling of the Covid crisis. She still thinks Brexit is a good idea though.
She still thinks Brexit is a good idea though.
I'm sure she does until it slaps her in the gammon chops as a consequence of both the event itself and its horrendous mismanagement at the hands of these sociopaths.
My worry is that we’ll find his body in a rarely used room, and the cat will have eaten half his face.
I reckon I'd be able to get over that.
I’m sure she does until it slaps her in the gammon chops as a consequence of both the event itself and its horrendous mismanagement at the hands of these sociopaths.
If I thought it would make a difference I'd slap her in the gammon chops.
Wait, he's up here? Ah of course we're past the glorious 12th he'll be bagging birds.
And maybe get a bit of shooting in.
Yep...
Hmmm robust...Didn’t last long
It’s like watching a slow moving accident or perhaps a pantomime. Behind you !!
On every opportunity they’ve sleep walked into a disaster with everyone pretty much shouting from the rooftops that there’s problem on the track but they still manage full steam ahead to inch into it.
All the papers focusing on Frank Spencer really
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-the-papers-53829638
there he is - just left of "reunion"
You are doing a disservice to rats (of all sorts).
Has the Star ever been critical of Boris before? They normally run a front page with some distracting tinsel stuck to it whenever Boris is any sort of hot water.
borises disappearing tricks normally succeed in leaving it to other ministers to be the one that has to field the questions when things go wrong so that the egg is publicly on their face rather than his. So quite unusual for the Star to shift the focus back to him
it is more daily mash than daily star
On every opportunity they’ve sleep walked into a disaster with everyone pretty much shouting from the rooftops that there’s problem on the track but they still manage
full steam aheadto inch into it.
They govern in the same manner as they won power. No surprises yet for anyone who carefully examined their rise to the top, rather than wallowed in their weird blend of acted out bullish optimism and calculated big lies designed to get people to ignore the clear evidence in front of their own eyes.
Adolf Hitler
What luck for rulers, that men do not think.
The broad masses of a population are more amenable to the appeal of rhetoric than to any other force.
The victor will never be asked if he told the truth.
The sauce seems somewhat appropriate for Where's Boris and Eye Test Cummings.
Apparently
on holidayin Scotland.
He is at Holyrood on a leadership training course.
Think there was a special deal struck so that he got a place.
So quite unusual for the Star to shift the focus back to him
Their Cummings do what you want cut out facemask was pretty unsubtle.
Has he gone somewhere safe with a decent government to escape catching the virus again, Scotland in other words?
Safe from the virus, not from the natives obviously!
I'd hate them to get their hands on him of course...😆
Allegedly in a 12 bedroom "cottage" on Balmoral Estate?
Metro says 'camping in Scotland', so 12 bed cottage on Royal estate would probably count by his standards.
I'm very concerned that at some point we will get Gove - sooner rather than later.
He's way more stubborn and agenda carrying than Boris.
Remember the process for a new PM. First Tory MPs, then the Blue Rinse. I can't see Gove getting past either of those.
Camping my arse
Pheasants to kill up at Balmoral, he's probably blooding his latest child 😜
No Boris, we're laughing at you, not with you...
I’m very concerned that at some point we will get Gove – sooner rather than later.
He’s way more stubborn and agenda carrying than Boris.
Well, the sole qualification that seems to matter to be admitted to the 'top team' is adherence to a fundamentally stupid project.
So we are either going to end up with a zealous idiot or a cynical opportunist.
Everything must sacrificed on the altar of Brexit.
He's pretending to be a keeper. As well going up there to shoot grouse, I'm sure he'll be giving the ferret a run.
I’m very concerned that at some point we will get Gove – sooner rather than later.
The Chancellor excepted, he is the only one of the current bunch who isn't an utter half wit. But then he is also a treacherous Machiavellian shit.
But then he is also a treacherous Machiavellian shit.
Peas in a pod with Dominic Cumstains, then....
We have got Gove, already.
Johnson Sr's birthday today? Blowhard jetted off to Greece?
Enough with this Gove isn't a half wit horse shit.
He, like most of those around him believe that because they are Oxford educated they are more intelligent than the rest of us. They believe that they can solve problems using their 'intelligence' rather than employing the expertise and experience of others.
This results in 'hunch' politics. We are living with the result of hunch politics. They are idiots. A confederation of Dunces.
The mess Gove (and Cummings) left the Education system in, because they favoured their hunches over the expertise of the “blob” of education experts, was an early warning sign for what we are currently experiencing in terms of dealing with Coronavirus (which should have everyone very concerned about their stewardship once we leave the EU’s transition period).
I'm going to disagree, sort of. They aren't all halfwits. I was at school with someone who is now a minister in this cabinet, and he was incredibly clever. But intelligence and common sense aren't always the same thing, particularly if your intelligence has pretty well been directed at climbing the greasy political pole and you lack any real world experience. That's what's scary, there are some very clever people using that intelligence to manipulate and scheme based on dogmatic ideals. If they really were just idiots it would be far easier to cope with.
(I did say not all......)
Remember it was Gove who did away with GCSE course work, thus helping create this years shitstorm.
None of them are “idiots”… (well, let’s not look at the department for trade) …but some think their own belief and ideas automatically trump true expertise in the areas that they seek to “shake up”. The results are damaging for all but their own egos.
Even the Mail aren't impressed.
Don't be fooled btw... The tent is pitched right next to the cottage they are staying in.
Thing that strikes me though.... Look at the tent! Bell tents are a thing of beauty but that's been pitched by an absolute moron.
Oh, yeah... just remembered.
Politics is not about intelligence but class position, you can be bright but wrong. The little bit of time I spent at Merton I was struck by how fiercely competitive, aggressively defensive and snottily bitchy some of the students were. A pretty miserable experience for those not seeking such an environment or from a different background. Then factor in all the pageantry of hierarchy (scouts, gowns, high table) and you can see how this system produces people like Boris and people look up (down in his case) with completely undeserved admiration.
Is that a bell-end tent?
He's very experienced at making tents.
One of the groups I'm in on Facebook (normally a sensible group, handy for info etc) has got a post running about Boris being on holiday with lots of them complaining he should be in the office etc. Don't know why but I decided to point out the the person in charge is still working, his name is Dominic.
I'd have got less notifications and abuse if I'd said I eat babies for breakfast!! I've had to leave the group just to get some sanity back.
Don’t know why but I decided to point out the the person in charge is still working, his name is Dominic.
For the win you could point out that London-Scotland requires a very long reach to keep a hand in a sock puppet, so Cumstains is having to work extra hard. The poor lamb.
If you really want to leave the group just tell them they were sold a pup over Brexit and again by voting for a nobhead who had to hide in a fridge to avoid scrutiny.
Further funny speculation about the tent.
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2020/aug/21/inside-the-tent-who-is-boris-johnsons-holiday-guest
From looking at the pictures of his latest trip away from the crisis, he's hiking and running about the place.
Yet we were led to believe he had a nasty dose of coronavirus and was at deaths door with the medics deciding his fate.
Recovered well, he's even gained back the weight.
Tenting japes = dead cat.
What's he actually been up to? It's cardboard buses/Barnard Castle eyetest all over again?
Weird that we didn't get any holiday photos until there was critical social media mass asking where the holiday photos were.
I'll take the tin foil hat off now...
Props to bojo if he's in that cottage with his partner and a baby who's less than a year old. I would have thought he'd be in a mansion with servants looking after the kid. So props if he is getting stuck in coz babies are incredibly hard work. Maybe he's been kipping in that tent to get some sleep. Weather looks shit too 😆
Tenting japes = dead cat.
Boris Johnson being on holiday doing anything = dead cat.
Johnson's dribblings and faux eccentric actions are irrelevant. He does what Cumstains tells him to. Who Cumstains gets his orders from is what we really should be concentrating on.
More dead cats than table.
Am I the only person in the country who thinks that the Ayanda/ procurement scandal is enough to bring a govt down?
Am I the only person in the country who thinks that the Ayanda/ procurement scandal is enough to bring a govt down?
In normal times with an electorate that gave a shit and had a reasonable IQ, that is enough to bring about some kind of rebellion even from within the government.
But these are not normal times. The disaster capitalists are so close to their dream now that Johnson clubbing baby seals to death on his hols wouldn't be a problem.
Remember, this is a one-off opportunity. The UK is in terminal decline. The duty of any reasonable government is to slow that decline by cooperating wherever possible. Sell a bit of the family silver ('sovrunty') every so often to stave off the decline. The backers of the New Tories aren't interested in the medium or long term prosperity of the country. They aren't interested in 'business' as we proles understand it (decent companies doing good stuff). As the slobbering oaf himself once exclaimed "**** business". They have taken the opportunity for one last payout. They'll offshore the lot in about 30 seconds then hand the smouldering carcass back to little folk like you and I. As for what happens afterwards, well, it ain't their problem is it?
The co-conspirators or dupes in the current government will be well looked after too. They'll all be gone from politics in 3-4 years. Most likely gone from the UK altogether.
More from the Guardian, the ever reliable Marina Hyde.
As for what happens afterwards, well, it ain’t their problem is it?
The co-conspirators or dupes in the current government will be well looked after too. They’ll all be gone from politics in 3-4 years. Most likely gone from the UK altogether.
but but but there's several brown folk coming ashore in Kent and they want all our money. Let's get em'
Johnson clubbing baby seals to death on his hols wouldn’t be a problem.
Just thought about this, they would be able to sell it as a positive to their support base if they could label the seals as 'foreign'.
"Brave Boris Battles Brussels Bureaucrats to Turn Back Foreign Seal Hoardes"
"Heroic PM stands up to foreign interlopers by beating their young to death. Answering critics he stated magnificently that 'I know this looks cruel but it will be better for them in the long term. It is the only way'. A spokesman for the Democratic F***wits Lads Football Alliance' said 'the babies are the worst, they start out all cute, fluffy and white, but as they grow they turn darker and brown. They fool all but us vigilant patriots'.
"Daily Mail readers were assured that the seals are not truly British as they spend much of their time offshore catch our fish in our waters and don't pay any tax".
Are we allowed to mention 28-year old violinists and super-injunctions?
Are we allowed to mention 28-year old violinists and super-injunctions?
I'm not sure you appreciate the idea of a super-injunction.
Anyhow, tell me more. 🙂
It’s all over social meedya (the source being Private Eye) that allegedly Carrie’s left him as he’s been up to his old tricks again, with a 28 year old Russian violinist.
Hence him disappearing for the last week
The press can’t publish as he’s got a super-injunction
Quick search shows a reddit thread about this from 1 year ago in relation to the famous row where police were called, so seems unlikely to be related to current events. Although he could still be at it of course.
He really does just think with his dick, doesn't he - I mean, how could the PM shagging some random Russian go wrong?
At least Carrie is now understanding the old adage about marrying your mistress...
And we can expect loads of articles littered with 'fiddling while Rome burns' etc. 🙂
Quick search shows a reddit thread about this from 1 year ago
This one seems a bit newer?
It’s all over social meedya (the source being Private Eye) that allegedly Carrie’s left him as he’s been up to his old tricks again, with a 28 year old Russian violinist.
The 28 year old Russian violinist thing has done the rounds before (1st half of 2019). I would suggest caution here.
Carrie, the kid and the dog are Johnson's meal ticket with the kind of person that buys commemorative mugs and tea towels whenever one of the royals plops one out. For want of a better demographic: Boomer-Gammons.
There is no way Dom would let Boris dip his wick now, not with his backers so close to getting their payout.
And even though Carrie is currently the darling of the likes of the Daily Heil, I would wager they've got a couple of skeletons from her cupboard at the ready - ones she thinks no one else knows about. Something to discredit her with and portray her as some kind of wanton harlot. The usual.
Ah so the philandering PM line could be a dead cat to detract from the useless PM truth.
It's make sense if it were.
are you suggesting that he's NOT been up to his nuts in a Russian fiddle ?
Ah so the philandering PM line could be a dead cat to detract from the useless PM truth.
It’s make sense if it were.
Seeing as Cumstains seems to be operating straight out of the Vladislav Surkov playbook, it is difficult (deliberately so) to put a concerted finger on what is really going on.
Remember it is accepted that Joris is a 'bit of a lad', so a good old leg-over story is a useful way of distracting attention whilst not detracting in a meaningful way from the whole.
But Joris doesn't give a shit either way. Carrie and the kid are just useful accessories in his quest to satisfy his bloated ego. Window dressing to the window dressing that is Johnson himself. Meanwhile Cumstains pushes through a one off fire sale to enrich his backers.
The saying goes that you get the politicians you deserve. Never has it been truer. Do something utterly, inexplicably cretinous like voting Leave and you end up with this ****ing shambles of opportunists and idiots in charge.
A spokesman for the Democratic F***wits Lads Football Alliance’ said ‘the babies are the worst, they start out all cute, fluffy and white, but as they grow they turn darker and brown. They fool all but us vigilant patriots’.
“Daily Mail readers were assured that the seals are not truly British as they spend much of their time offshore catch our fish in our waters and don’t pay any tax”.
I properly laughed at the image of those reports
@dannyh you should write for the daily mash or similar. Excellent stuff 👍
I’d be interested in how reporting information that a hypothetical British PM, let’s call him Sasha, is having an extra-extra- marital relationship with a national of a country which killed a British citizen with a weapon of mass destruction deployed on British soil a mere 2 years ago when Sasha was Foreign Secretary, is not considered to be in the public interest.
ctk
SubscriberAm I the only person in the country who thinks that the Ayanda/ procurement scandal is enough to bring a govt down?
Should be. Isn't.
Am I the only person in the country who thinks that the Ayanda/ procurement scandal is enough to bring a govt down?
Should be. Isn’t.
Consider it more a case study in the kind of buccaneering, red tape burning, private enterprise that is going to 'Make Britain Great Again' when we have our 'freedom'.
Oh, what's that? The money is all offshore now? And they didn't actually deliver? To our lovely NHS?
This is the kind of logical paradox that the Brexies should be grappling with and eventually realising they've been sold a pup. But look! A dinghy full of brown people.....
I’d be interested in how reporting information that a hypothetical British PM, let’s call him Sasha, is having an extra-extra- marital relationship with a national of a country which killed a British citizen with a weapon of mass destruction deployed on British soil a mere 2 years ago when Sasha was Foreign Secretary, is not considered to be in the public interest.
Well, it would be, except that if there’s a superinjunction they can’t report it.
Well, it would be, except that if there’s a superinjunction they can’t report it.
Apparently, Johnson used the new parliamentary rules that are supposed to protect victims of sexual abuse or bullying in parliament to avoid having to answer questions about his hols in Mustique in February.
Cynical, cheating, contemptuous, crass, crooked shit that he is.
There is no way Dom would let Boris dip his wick now, not with his backers so close to getting their payout.
Ah but this is something important for Johnson not something boring like school grades/brexit etc.
My guess is he is already cheating on her.
If I were to be deeply cyclical I'd say he was cheating on here from well before she told him she was pregnant. Let's face it, if the opportunity were there he certainly would have.
I've little doubt he wouldn't have bothered to marry her if it weren't for the whole PM thing.
...and tbh, it's not like she should be under any illusions about what she was dealing with.
Joris and Carrie and the kid are expendable after Dec 31st if (when) a No Deal is 'secured'.
I fully expect the knives to be out for Joris from all quarters when this goes tits up (obviously not tits up from the point of view of the 0.1% who are going to trouser millions).
Hundreds of thousands of jobs will disappear and virtually everyone else is going to get ****ed over in terms of employment law. Remainers (aka grownups) are after him anyway. Some Brexies will finally realise they've been stitched up. Many will continue to believe and just blame Joris for not 'getting it done' properly. Eventually he will be hoist by his own petard of lies, and it won't be a moment too soon.
But it will be too late by then. And we may well get a proper fascist in his place, rather than just a dribbling conman.