[Closed] Biscuits that disappoint

With the exception of Rich Tea, anything that doesn't have chocolate I can lick off is always a slight disappointment

Kit Kat Chunkys are very disappointing. The original version is still the best biscuit in the universe.

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Didn't make me feel like dancing or increased empathy with those around me.

Kit Kat Chunkys are very disappointing.

In fact, anything with chocolate on/in/made entirely of requires chilling.

Anyway - a Chunky Kit Kat isn't really a biscuit is it?

Rice Krispies Squares are just an overpackaged version of the familiar children's party standby.

I'm always disappointed at my ability to eat huge quantities of Jaffa Cakes, notwithstanding how nasty they are.

Anyway - a Chunky Kit Kat isn't really a biscuit is it?

I agree with you regarding the temperature. Cold is best. I'm not sure about the peanut and caramel variants. It is the pushbike equivalent of 160mm forks on 2004 Inbred.

If bikes were biscuits...

Inbred = Standard issue Kit Kat or a Tunnock's wafer.

Bourbons, I really don't rate them.

Timeouts are great.
But that wasn't the question - disappointing biscuits.....

Most of the ones in Family Circle boxes
NICE biscuits - bleurgh
Rich Tea
Bourbons
Custard Creams

Not necessarily in that order.

I had a jammie dodger the other day after not having one for years. I was rather underwhelmed by it.

Why are so many biscuits names after Revolutionaries?

Ahh but Bourbons and Custard Creams still win in the bangs for your buck stakes...

jaffa cakes. too small.

[i]Why are so many biscuits names after Revolutionaries? [/i]
I can only think of 3...Bourbon, Garibaldi, Peek Freans Trotsky Assortment?

[i]Kit Kat Chunkys are very disappointing.[/i] Your soooo wrong, the caramel version at the moment is fantastic, though as mentioned is it really a biscuit?

Off-hand the only one I'm really currently enjoying are Oreo's, everything else Sainsbury's stocks seem to be sad pale imitations of what I remember to be great biscuits, even the "taste the difference" range are crap.

What I really want is a decent, not cheap and nasty, custard cream.
It's not alot to ask for, is it?
.
.
Your faithfully the cookie monster....

jammy dodgers -not jammy, just a thin layer of tough red stuff
bourbons - look promising, but don't taste of chocolate
custard creams - neither custard or creamy
rich tea - how poor are you if that's what you think "rich" means?
nice - aren't very

all a bit of a let down

I forgot Jammie Dodgers. The 'jam' just sticks in your teeth & isn't at all like jam.

Her Indoors bought some cheap Tesco cookies the other day - apparently they were something like 65p and come in a Boasters style plastic wrapper thing. Mmmmmm, they were reet lovely.

Bang for your buck - Bourbon & custard cream. I'd rather go without, than bother with either 'biscuit' 😉

In my Student days you could get a 3 pack of Maryland Cookies for about £1.20 - now that was bang for your buck!

Chocolate Caramel Digestives absolutely rock, but contain more calories/biscuit than I care to consider while eating the damn things!!

I should really get involved with this thread...but I won't. 🙂

Almost all the ones in a biscuits for cheese box ... other than the ones that are like a digestive that they dont sell in anything other than a cheese box 🙁

wagon wheels - no way as good as I remembered!

I can only think of 3...Bourbon, Garibaldi, Peek Freans Trotsky Assortment?

[b][i]Revolutionary biscuits of Italy
Rise up out of your box!
You have nothing to lose but your wafers
Yum yum yum yum yum!'[/i][/b]

Floaty air biscuits.

Ritz, ok it's a cracker rather than a biscuit, but tragically disappointing when you get ones without much salt on em.

I couldn't help myself....

Jammy Dodgers are pants. Those Pink Wafers are pretty naff too. Never really cared for plain biscuits such as rich tea, digestives and the like.

Generally though biscuits are brilliant.

Nice Biscuits have to be the worst disappointment. If you're actually goign to call a bsicuit "nice" then it really ought to be nice rather than decidedly average.

Itd be like calling your product Awesome Biscuits and them just being a chocolate digestive with "awesome" written on.

Anyone tried Party Rings recently?

I suspect the lack of artificial colours would make them half the biscuit they were.

Malted Milk and Chocolate Hob-Nobs, those two are the kings of the biscuit world. Fox's crunch cream run them close and a chocolate malted milk is a rare treat if you ever manage to find them.

Was just going to mention party rings. The other ones that are disappointing are those marshmallow/coconutty things that look like the underside of a lactating sow.

[i]Nice Biscuits have to be the worst disappointment. If you're actually goign to call a bsicuit "nice" then it really ought to be nice rather than decidedly average.[/i]

But it's Nice as in the place in France, not as in whether they're any cop or not. Bourbon biscuits don't contain any alcohol...(hang on...what an idea! Biscuits & booze. All major food groups covered in one bite-size item)

Nice biscuits are still called Nice as they can't emboss the words "Decidedly Average" on them because:-

a) It would require a reduction in font size that would be lost under the dusting of sugar

or

b) They would be nearly a foot long.

I saw an advert for 'bite-size' biscuits last week.

I thought to myself - aren't all biscuits bite-sized and wouldn't it be spectacularly stupid to have a range of biscuits specifically created to be larger than the average mouth and therefore impossible to eat.

Its a bit like 'fun-size' chocolate bars. WTF is fun about eating LESS chocolate?

There are some wronguns on this thread.

KitKat chunkys are great (but must be cold)
Jammie Dodgers are gurt lush (the jam's [i]supposed[/i] to stick to your teeth!)

and Jaffa Cakes (obviously not actually a biscuit...) are clearly number 1 - chocolate, orange and cake all in one easy to devour pack of 12 (or 15) - and make no mistake, anyone who ever only eats part of a pack is just WRONG

AndyP you have just sparked a memory, my mum used to do a dessert with ginger snaps soaked in brandy, then mad a sandwich with cream & chocolate, I feel sick remembering trying to fit fourths in ... 🙂

This thread has the makings of a classic [i]It would require a reduction in font size that would be lost under the dusting of sugar[/i]. Inspired.

And Jaffa cakes - aren't they less calories each than water and celery. Or soemthing like that.

Iced Gems

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Another rubbish biscuit of yesteryear. Like mini gravel pizzas.

& I had a mate at school who could turn a rich tea over whole in his mouth ... that takes some doing I can tell you.

Anyway .. Dark Choc Diggies are best ... Nice ones are just rubbish

Its a bit like 'fun-size' chocolate bars. WTF is fun about eating LESS chocolate?

LOL! Very true.

I'm finding it hard to be disappointed by any biscuit, but ginger nuts are a bit boring. Too hard. I don't like my nuts too hard, or ginger.

www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com

From the genius website http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com

Q. Why are 'Nice' biscuits called that?

A. I don't know because they are possibly one of the nastiest biscuits ever, perhaps its sarcasm. Also if you are new to this site and are about to email me saying "Actually its because they are named after the town in the south of France" don't. They're not from there, nobody there has ever heard of them. Hop on an Easyjet flight get yourself down there and ask around, you'll get even blanker Gallic looks than usual. Back when they were invented Huntley and Palmer were knocking out over 450 sorts of biscuits, so naming new sorts of biscuits was probably a matter of just going through the phone book or index in the atlas. Anyhow I don't like them.

Hmmm there are only 2 real disappointments I've ever had with biscuits -

1) Stale biscuits - as I tell my family if they're left in the barrel for more than a couple of days they go off. Nothing is worse than a stale biscuit.

2) The 'biscuit' I climbed up on the windowsill to eat as a 3year old. At 3 I knew all brown round things were biscuits and I loved biscuits. There was a brown round thing on the windowsill.
I climbed up there to eat it.
I discovered not all brown round things were biscuits... they could be a dead cactus 🙁

All chocolate bisuits are disappointing after one has experienced the tombstone-like proportions of a Bahlsen Choco-Leibniz.

My kids have seemingly garnered a liking for Oreos from their peer group - now they are proper nasty.

Ohh, I LOVE Oreos! Om nom nom nom nom!

[i]mini gravel pizzas. [/i]
utter f*king genius.

Cool your jets there Poddy. This is about biscuit based despair. There is no room here for biscuits of desire, if there was I would have mentioned the mighty Crawford Cheddar.

Malted biscuits, came in two varieties, with a cow, and stick men doing sports. rubbish designs, rubbish biscuits, and Rich Tea is just a crap biscuit all round really, and perhaps controversially, plain Hob Nobs, almost inedible.

I haven't been able to stomach pink wafers since (about 20 years ago) a lorry carrying shedloads of them overturned near my school, spilling it's contents on the road. We descended like vultures and had away with boxes of the things, they don't look quite as pink once they come back up :p

Oh, just remembered, Plain Club. No interesting filling, no mint, no orange, nada. What sort of WTF moment was that when they couldn't be bothered to come up with a filling and just went "nah, **** 'em, they'll just have to live with it"...Bastards

Malted biscuits, came in two varieties, with a cow, and stick men doing sports. rubbish designs, rubbish biscuits

pink wafers were only any use as a torture implement. Get friend to lie on floor and grip wafer tightly between teeth. Force wafer into mouth thus causing it to disintegrate into a squillion pieces. Try to find friend under pile of strange pink crumbs. Repeat.

Any of the biscuits my wife buys that come in a packet with "Bio", "0%" or "Fibre" on the pack.

Not really disappointing I suppose as it's pretty bloody obvious beforehand that they're going to taste of sawdust, but still...

LOL, Gold Star for mastiles_fanylion:

Revolutionary biscuits of Italy
Rise up out of your box!
You have nothing to lose but your wafers
Yum yum yum yum yum!'

Wasn't that Alexei 'Bolovski' Sayle?

Bourbon biscuits are hardly revolutionary, named after the royal family of Spain and France...

Huntley and Palmer lemon puffs are yukky.
Also not keen on the ginger nuts unless they're dunked in a hot drink.

We don't buy biscuits on our house ( as in tubes ) 'cos we'd be fat.

Boasters. I had very fond memories and was massively disappointed when I serached some out recently.

Good call bunnyhop, lemon puffs are spew

Pretty much anything by "Foxes".........rubbish.

Bourbons are to be eaten as follows.........take the top off, melt inner in front of fire.....lick off..........eat bottom 😛

She said

eat bottom

The Golf Biscuit.
Bitter, chalky, minty disappointment.

Not a patch on the Trio or indeed the mighty Breakaway.

Brief hijack.

Pete do you drive a green hatchback? If so you were behind me in traffic the other day. Small World and that eh?

After that trilling interlude we can return to the biscuits.

I do indeed matey.
The mighty Daewoo Nexia, as detailed in the recent 'Isn't my car spiffing?' thread.

Give us a shout if you need a hand with any HTN stuff. Sue says she'll marshall and says 'Hi'. 🙂

You're on.

Yo-Yo biscuits, especially at room temperature - bobbins.

'United' biscuits, remember them?
Called United, but came in a blue and white striped wrapper.
Have the courage of your convictions, put it in a red wrapper!

OR make a separate version called 'City', which tastes bitter, costs a fortune and falls apart quickly.

The United version would last for an additional six minutes BTW.

In Sheffield, the blue and white one would be called the Wednesday, and taste of pork. 😀

most biscuits without a cup of tea to dunk with are generally disappointing, hob nobs especially!

BN Biscuits. Taste like crap.

caramel digestives, penguins, boasters. look like they should be tasty..but they're not all that great

biscuits that are just plain rubbish:
jaffa cakes
wagon wheels
normal digestives

one thing to say about Oreos............................black poo ! 😀

Cold caramel digestives are particularly horrible. The caramel layer goes really tough and makes you think that a bit of the wrapper has somehow been incorporated into the the biscuit via a manufacturing error.

Has anyone mentioned these yet?

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What is it with the resurgence of TUC biscuits? (interesting idea, to name a biscuit after a labour organisation). They are dishing them out on KLM as a "snack". They ain't no snack, they're horrid.

KLM, now there's a whole new thread - Airlines that disappoint.

14 hours to Tokyo with the ****ers. Broken seat back, no leg room, all the TVs had green pictures, miserable horsey faced cabin crew and rubbish biscuits.

Opened lunch box to find out what biscuit the missus had put in, turns out it was a fudging nutrigrain, A FUDGING NUTRIGRAIN!!!!

Let's face it, there's been a huge oversight here...

There is no feeling of bigger disappointment on earth when someone offers you a biscuit and removing the lid of the biscuit tine reveals:

[img] [/img]

I mean offering someone a slightly soft, stale shortie is basically just asking them to leave...

And I might add, they are always stale and soft because nobody actually likes a shortie, they've always been in the biscuit tin since you got fed up with the that plumber eating all your Fox crunch creams so you replaced them with Shorties till the work was done and they've gone untouched since.

Supermarket copies of proper biscuits are always a disappointment in themselves. To copy a disappointing biscuit takes things to a new level.

DrJ, but what if the original is no longer available?

Not seen Breakaways for years, but one of the Supermarkets (Asda?) do an acceptable copy that will usually do in an emergency.

i had a "united" biscuit once that due to a manufacturing fault contained no biscuit - just chocolate and the sugary chunks

it felt like a victory - these things matter when you are 8

any biscuit containing coconut is the worst for me

Nice have some in, as to "Rocky" bars

blurgggg

I remember the day I got a solid chocolate kit kat, again, felt like victory at the time but frankly, no one [i]made[/i] me buy a kit kat instead of a yorkie at the time.

Oreos, putrid.
Those lemon puffs, bile.
And little gems, they're the proper little ****s of the buscuit world.

The Jekyl & hyde of the buscuit tin I must say is the Ginger nut. Tooth breakingly horrid when fresh. However, scrummy when soft and stale.

i regularly get to scoff party rings and iced gems at kids partys. Nothing wrong with them, but the chocolate finger is the king of the party biscuits IMO

Iced Gems are the short-arsed skin heads of the biscuit world. Tiny, unpleasant and liable to break your teeth if you are not careful.

oreo's- why do americans rave about them-gross
the plain digestive must be top of the cr@p list.just so dull and to big to dunk in astandard mug-gross again
tesco basic,cheap and nasty cookies.there full of choclate dust not chips 😥
caramel digestives come second.just ruin the choccy bit with basically glue!
any chocolate buiscuit should be cool.approx 4 celsius max.

biccies that rock..
rocky's
jaffas
choccy hob nobs (s'pese with a cuppa)
kitkat(4 finger)
tunnocks caramel (strangly a caramel that "works" in my book :wink:)

OK

1) iced gems are awesome

2) lemon puffs are grim

3) those pink wafer things look...you know...a bit...limp wristed in the biscuit tin AND coat everything else in annoying pink dust. crap things

4) wagon wheels and penguin bars shouldn't be in individual wrappers, cos they're not awesome enough

5) viscounts have become way too small to still be classed as classy biscuits

I could go on for hours...