Melchett: 'Blackadder! You twist and turn like a twisty-turny thing. I say you're a weedy pigeon and you can call me Susan if it isn't so'.
Percy: I touched her once
Blackadder: er, so what?
Percy: in the corridor
B: I've never heard it called that before
"Basil, if you really must grope the guests can you at least have the decency to be in the same room as them at the time"
What, with these feet?
Possibly my favourite!
So, what is it?
After having his tinned pineapples nicked Fletch says to the rest of the lags..... 'Gentlemen, there's a thief amongst us'....
You must be Raymond The Bastard."
.
"Magnificent, like a young Burt Reynolds"
What, with these feet?
Possibly my favourite!
Barker walks us to that gag at an amble. superb.
Ted and Dougal with the xmas tree lights
They're on, they're off,They're on, they're off, arr you nearly had it there Ted.
Pretty much repeated on every night ride around here.
"I've got some f888ing Jaffa Cakes in my coat pocket!"
How far away are they?
Yes, Peep Show. Most of SuperHans, really.
[img] 
[/img]
This:-
Yes, Peep Show. Most of SuperHans, really.
Indeed.
"I'll tell you what, that crack is really moreish".
"It's the heart of Darkness Jez, It's the ****ing dirt" "I've seen through the eye of the needle yeah, Pulled open the hurt locker and had a big ol' rummage round"
[i]22 minutes late, escaped puma, Chessington North[/i]
🙂
Wreckers of law and order. Communists, Maoists, Trotskyists, neo-Trotskyists, crypto-Trotskyists, union leaders, Communist union leaders, atheists, agnostics, long-haired weirdos, short-haired weirdos, vandals, hooligans, football supporters, namby-pamby probation officers, rapists, papists, papist rapists, foreign surgeons - headshrinkers, who ought to be locked up, Wedgwood Benn, keg bitter, punk rock, glue-sniffers, "Play For Today", Clive Jenkins, Roy Jenkins, Up Jenkins, up everybody's, Chinese restaurants - why do you think Windsor Castle is ringed with Chinese restaurants?
Do you really think so? I thought support might be difficult.
[i]I didn't get where I am today by saying 'earwig' instead of 'thank you'[/i]
Dinner ladies.
Bren asked if she could be pregnant
"Not unless sperm can climb through a sash window"
Thought it was an Xpelair.
Hi. I'm Larry. This is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother Darryl.
"You don't want to go to France, Harold. Horrible place, all mud and holes everywhere."
'I'm looking for a boy'
'Poofter aye?'
'I can, I can't?'
We didn't burn him.....
Father Ted: Yes well, I just wanted to clear things up; I'm not a fascist, I'm a priest. Fascists dress in black and go around telling people what to do, whereas... priests... More drink!
Peep Show is an endless supply of them
"So I suppose you just want me to piss myself, do you?"
Also Alan...
Monkey tennis!
Cooking in prison!!
Youth hosteling with Chris Eubanks!!!
And Malcolm of course..
"You see you? You see what you are? You're a *ing omnishambles!"
"Oh... Laurel and *ing Hardy. Nice of you to join us. Did you get the piano up the stairs ok?"
"Feet off the furniture you Oxbridge ****! You're not on a punt now!"
Oh Brian, you came!
No, I just spilt my drink
Don't forget to wash your sheets. And your penis!
15 rocks in me rucksack, and everyone knew it
Abstract expressionism is so mid to late eighties!
Last night was an A1 tip top jamming club fair!
Skip to the end
I think some of you are just making stuff up now 🙂
Likely Lads were in a caravan for the weekend and were playing bridge. Terry and Thelma are partners. Terry nips out and has a noisy slash up the side of the van. Thelma: "that's the first time I've known what he's got in his hand all night".
I'd offer you a beer, but I've only got six cans
Another from the genius that is Porridge.
Godber "What's a "practicing homosexual"?
Fletcher "One who hasn't got it right yet"
[url=
Okay, so the series itself is not 'classic' but it had some great lines...
"Like a dog eating hot chips."
"I'm so glad you would rather shag my mum than your own sister Neil."
"Maybe you could draw some pubes on with a marker pen?"