MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
I'm sad to report that the architect of the turkey holocaust has passed away.
Apparently James Blunt is going to perform at Bernard Matthews funeral.
Details are currently unclear about which song he'll sing.
RIP.
yamyam - took me a while, but 😀
He's to be cremated next week, gas mark 6 for 3 hours
I'm reminded of the single worst line from any film EVER:
From J-Lo/Ben Affleck vehicle Gigli, a film that managed to scrape through the bottom of the barrel and then tunnel straight to the earth's core.
The relatives will be disappointed, the inheritance is paltry
Poultry, surely?
Personally, I think that's a fowl attitude to take.
Thats offal news
Stop talking giblets!
Really yamyam? I heard they'd booked Kylie to sing I should be so plucky
FDS!
(For ducks sake) TAXI.
LOL @ MrSparkle. Classic!
Plucked from this mortal coil....................................
May he roost in peace
yamyamblade - Member
Apparently James Blunt is going to perform at Bernard Matthews funeral.Details are currently unclear about which song he'll sing.
😆
like woody2000, took me minute, but then proper LOL!
Kev
Perhaps it's fitting that he went just before christmas.
Some ones going to have to explain the James Blunt joke to me, I'm just not that bright.
I see. Doh. 😀
I hope the family doesn't go for a Ghanaian style coffin!
My Great Auntie Margaret, who is still very much with us, used to go out with Bernard Matthews. Really.
She [i]dined out[/i] on that story for most of the 1980s.
I bet Jamie Oliver's doing a happy little cockney jig now the inventor of the turkey twizzler's brown bread. Dancing on 'is grave I daresay! 🙂
He bought this place and alegedly reared turkeys in it. I went there in the 80's to fix their mainframe. You went in the main entrance which was just as you would expect of a country mansion, but the rest of the house had been ripped out and looked like any old office. An act of vandalism! The only clue that you were inside a grand old house were the windows.
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Out the back were a couple of sheds; one had a mechanised array of pressure jet wands that would each enter a bird cage in the lorries to wash out all the turkey shxt. The other was a slaughter shed. It had large louvres on one end with huge ventillation fans. The louvres were covered in thick damp moss.
I was in the canteen as a shift got their break. I had to leave as everyone was spattered with blood - their white clothes, arms, even faces - DISGUSTING! This and the obvious filth everywhere was enough to put me off processed food for life!
Best before 25/11/10 I guess.
And I must be really thick, I don't get the james blunt joke either.
bernard matthews, he was Norfolk n good 😉
Maybe the beautiful south will play for him?
hmmm thanksgiving? sounds like a conspiracy to me!
WHY RIP did he not bring in bird flu into the country
with his cheap chickens!
Great Witchingham hall is a fantastic looking place, twice in the last 10 years been called their to put the Power Lines back up following storms, took great delight in driving an 8 ton unimog over the grass to get to the pole i needed to work from, dont think Bernard would have considered the tire tracks to be "Bootiful", but the Farm Manager thought it was amusing....................
I would like to perform at Bernards funeral but i have lost my drum sticks. 🙄
Apparently police suspect fowl play 😆
Horrible bloke who tortured hundreds of thousands of birds to supply cheap taste-free junk food to obese plebs. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
tortured hundreds of thousands of birds
can you waterboard a turkey?
kennyp .Do you only shop at farm shops where they gently carress the animals as they kill them ? Or are you a sandal wearing yogurt knitting veggie?
No Edric, I eat meat and love it and don't have a problem with animals being killed to end up on my plate. That's nature.
However I do try and eat animals that have had a decent life before being slaughtered and not been kept in the horrendous conditions that scum like Mathews keep them in. I don't always succeed, so am open to accusations of hypocrisy, but I do make an effort. And if that means going without something because it's too expensive then I go without. I don't buy into the "people only eat it because they can't afford anything else" argument.
He'l be spinning in his gravy with some of these jokes.
kennyp sounds like he has a chipolata on his shoulder.
He bought this place and alegedly reared turkeys in it.
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😯 So Bernard Matthew's turkeys lived in a big ****-off stately mansion ?
........them Guardian-reading veggi-warriors really are full of sh1t 😕