[Closed] Being a bit crap

Don't worry too much about any one thing, and don't beat yourself up. The vast majority of us have to contend with making it through life being basically average at the things we'd like to shine at.

An evening class in photography is accessible, common (in a good way) and valuable.

Given sufficient motivation and time/cash/will to get there, I'd really like to have a go at one of those mountain bike skills courses - more speed!

Good luck, Samuri 🙂

I strive for mediocrity.

Lets leave the driving and love making alone since they're probably lost causes at this stage in my life

my experience is that age gives you staying power absent in youth :o)

Does it matter if you're having fun? NO! so STFU & MTFU!

What have you done a course in or made some concerted structured effort to improve in your life and it's actually done some good?

Spell. When I left school, I was pretty much branded as being thick as I couldnt spell to save my life. So I enrolled on a further education course (along with the ONC I was doing at night school) to try and improve my grasp of letters.

It didnt work. However, it did put me in contact with someone who suggested that I might be dyslexic. Sure enough, most of the other symtpoms fitted and that really helped. From having a pretty low opinion of myself for being thick, I now had a reason and accepted it. So in answer wether it did some good, yes it did, but not in the way it was meant too.

Noadays, I'm just happy being me. I dont shine at much (other than getting in the top ten in europe at an online game, nerd), but so what. I just dont really care and am happy being mediocre.

Count yourself lucky, there's probably people in the world who aspire to be as good as you!
😉

samuri - your photos are pretty good! Don't worry about it, so long as you are or you can be happy with your lot in life then why try harder?

I'm barely even mediocre at anything!

Problem is we were all bought up being told "everyones good at something", they were wrong I'm not. Luckily I can get by at a lot of things which is better than some poor hopeless souls.

[cheese]
why not focus on being happy and try to be really good at enjoying being who you are[\cheese]

I think i've been through some similar thoughts (except that I know I am dynamite in the sack) and I think the important thing to focus on is being happy about being crap at stuff. It is, after all, better than not doing anything and therefore not even being good enough to be crap.

I've heard great things about swimsmooth, you could give one of their coaching sessions a go? It's a tecnhqiue sport so if you get that right you can bask in the glow of beating people half your age and twice as fit (as testified by the ex-school swimteam chubsters that regularly cruise past me in the pool!).

http://www.swimsmooth.com/

Have u ever stopped to think that perhaps your better at these three things than a lot of people and given time and some effort u will look back and be thankful

Excel at something that nobody else really does..... You know like nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills....

You're shit and you know you are!
You're shit and you know you are!

The current thinking seems to be that we should should want to be the best at something.

To be honest im not really sure thats what I want.

I work at Imperial College and there are obviously some people who are the best in their field here. However they dont always seem to that well balanced.

Also to be really good at something you have to practice it ALOT. To be honest I'd rather do lots of things a little.

You can write in an entertaining way too, don't forget. In fact I used to like your column in the mag.
(So you're a 'published author' too, that's more than the vast majority will ever achieve!)

Out of the three options you've decided on, I'd go with "photography"...and save the exercise based ones for thrashing out any frustration 🙂

That's the problem with Normal Distribution curves - most people are just well ermmm averagely normal.
Put it the other way at least you're not cr*p at these things.

It's all relative anyway - in races as a cyclist, like you, I'm usually middle of the pack. Which means I'm rubbish compared to an elite rider but waaay better than the majority of the population. On the normal distribution curves that puts us in the upper quartile which actually means you're quite good 😀

So your choice should be cycling (what answer did you expect on an MTB forum?).

To a certain extent it depends how you define 'good' and who you compare yourself to.

Am I a good cyclist when compared to Lance Armstrong, Steve Peat, Danny Macaskill, Joe Parkin, most people on here? No not in the slightest...do I enjoy it even though I'm probably last up all the hills and off road have to walk down some of the tougher bits if I don't feel comfortable...yes.

It's always good to learn more and improve at something, but if pushing yourself to do that removes the enjoyment or starts to make you unhappy it's not worth it. As Bob Marley said 'don't worry, be happy*!' 🙂

*easier said than done sometimes.

If you want to take your interests to the next level then go for it. Don't listen to these people telling you to be satisfied with the status quo - I don't even understand why they comment on threads like these. Is it jealousy? So they feel less inadequate themselves?

I'm currently still working on the cycling.. hasn't gone too well these last couple of years but here's to a good one this time round... As for who I'm comparing myself to.. well it's the other riders at the races 🙂

Sure, I'm a lot better at cycling than most of the public, but where's the satisfaction in being a better cyclist than people who've never done it, don't care about it and don't train?

There is nothing wrong at all with wanting to be good at something. It's all very well saying 'be happy whatever' but if striving makes you happy then tell us why we should not do it?

I was listening to Gordy this morning, and thinking, the trouble with a true meritocracy is that it discriminates against those without obvious (or any) merit 🙁

Your primary duty is to enjoy this brief spell of life to the best of your ability

Photography - as David Bailey once said "Everyone will take one great picture, I’ve done better because I’ve taken two."

"Your primary duty is to enjoy this brief spell of life to the best of your ability"

that's intersting.

I think my primary responsibility is to not spoil other peoples brief spell of life. If I can enjoy mine while doing that then all the better.

@molgrips I wasn't saying don't try or don't advance yourself but don't beat yourself up about it if you don't have the time/skill (maybe even willpower/drive).

There are hills I've still failed to cycle up so I'll do what I can to 'train' to ride up those hills but if 'life'/other commitments get in the way I'm not going to get depressed at how rubbish I am at riding up hills.

But then I've never been an ambitious or 'driven' individual.

I think my primary responsibility is to not spoil other peoples brief spell of life.

hmmm, and odd way of looking at life, beholden to everyone else!

unless you selflessly pursue one goal[which means ignoring lots of other things] you cannot really excel in one thing. You seem to do better than most at a variety of things - clearly not lovemaking. I think jack of all trades master of none is a happier way to a life balance personally. Take riding - you are better than all non riders and as good as most committed riders - possibly in top half of committed amateurs so about top 2 % of pop for cycling How many on here can do 200 miles in a day? You have not won a prize for your writing [have you?]but you are a published author so kudos. Well I have bigged you up enough now I think but I would go for photography from your list and realise that if you compare yourself to the very best in any field few of us measure up well. If we compare ourself to the norm we tend to do very well. Cup hall full or half empty?
Accept your self and strive to better is all we can do in life.

being great at everything has its downside - consider Smee

being great at everything has its downside - consider Smee

lol

I think my primary responsibility is to not spoil other peoples brief spell of life.

hmmm, and odd way of looking at life, beholden to everyone else!

But then helping others is often said to be the true path to happiness.

first of all, read Tom hodgekinsons book, 'how to be free'....it will help you to laugh at the things happening around you

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0141022027/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=471057153&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0241143217&pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_r=064HM924GSDPPZ2DD6AS

then how about a mini challenge to make you proud of yourself and rediscover yourself! maybe a cycle ride to the highlands, or lands end to john o'groats. or cycle the width of britain

maybe a cycle ride to the highlands, or lands end to john o'groats. or cycle the width of britain

you don't have to go somewhere else to rediscover yourself! And a physical challenge can be a distraction from introspection

I am sorry to hear this.

I thought your column used to be really good, I like a lot of your photographs and you're so devilishly handsome that I find it difficult to imagine you're anything other than a hurricane in the sack. 😉

Whoa - man you need some happy/self esteem installation (self). I'll say it again, get a book on NLP - do it this week, there I told you so!! 🙂

Hey, who are you comparing yourself against, an unknown imaginary person no doubt......no matter how good you are at anything, there will always be someone who can do that seemingly better - be realistic!

All the best

I wasn't saying don't try or don't advance yourself but don't beat yourself up about it if you don't have the time/skill (maybe even willpower/drive).

Fair play, but I didn't think the OP was beating himself.. more like rueing missed opportunities.

All I say is - do it, get cracking.. 🙂 The more you put in, the more you get out.

So... whose blog is this from? Sounds like a rubbish slow rider, not actually that good at all 😉

[i]
Ride Entry – 16th January 2010

Bike : Pimpino
Distance : 27 miles

[...]

Back to the ride then. ****ing fast is a good 2 word somethingion. I reckon I clocked a 20mph average here, and this is on a fixed wheel cross bike *which had a slow puncture for the last 4 miles!!*. But I loved it all. The first three miles or so were BALLS OUT!!! It was ace! I could hardly breath at the end of it but I had a good 15 minutes of skimming car bumpers, slipstreaming large vehichles and generally putting the **** up a group of placid drivers who think they can pretty much ignore cyclists.

[...etc...]
[/i]

Don't listen to those complacent losers with their 'don't worry, be happy' happyclappy riff, keep striving for the upper echelon of mediocrity I say. Do a pictures A level, that'd be good. It only takes 10,000 hours to get really good at something apparently, not much really

Photography - see my thread on wedding photographers!!!

You'll be minted.

You might have to work on becoming a bit more arrogant though - do they do evening classes in that too??? 🙂

[img] http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/demotivators_2090_2935881 [/img]

you might think you're a bit crap but I bet your lad reckons you're awesome.

My lad reckons I'm awesome. It's what kids are for.

It's what kids are for.

I think [b]not[/b], and they grow out of it soon enough...

well mine's 16 and he doesn't appear to have grown out of it.

maybe you cocked it up 😉

My lad reckons I'm an embarrasing knob.

Young Samuri, I'm going to do a sea kayak course in April with a view to doing the tour de Isle de Wight over 2 days a bit later. Pop down to the seaside and do it with me. Hopefully not much swimming required.

I remember a situation many years ago when I was still playing saxophone. I was at a wedding of some friends when I commented that I couldn't hope to play like the guy on the stage. Some of the more musical guys on the table I was sat at then said something along the lines of "yes but playing the saxophone is your hobby, for us it is how we are going to earn our living. We couldn't hope to do maths/science the way that you can." Basically your opinion of your ability is subject to whom you choose to compare yourself to.

If you choose and unrealistically high standard you will always be disappointed so don't beat yourself up about it.

You don't want to be really good at anything. With excellence comes a pressure that will suck the enjoyment out of whatever it is you are supposed to be good at. I know loads of scratch golfers who hate golf. I also know loads of duff golfers who love golf.

Just make sure you are good enough that you can enjoy it (or depending on what we are talking about, that the other person can also enjoy it...) and crack on.

My lad reckons I'm an embarrasing knob.

That made me lol. Did he actually say that?

Dave's lad does have a point though.

[i]You know like nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills.... [/]

I'm mediocre at two of these. 😉

Thanks for all the replies, I'll read them properly when I'm not behind the slowest internet gateway on earth.

Consider this:

A lot of people do little more than go to the office, drink beer and watch TV.

Taking that as a 'norm', although I'm not world class at anything, I'm inquisitive and will have a good go at most things so reckon that I'm not crap.

I doubt that many others here are either.

Samurai - I vaguely remember you writing a certain article for STW Magazine a while ago? (I might be mistaken)

If it's the article I'm thinking of you shouldn't even be asking the question.

Striving for success is a hopeless task. If you were club champion you'd want to be national champion, national champion you'd want to be world champion, world champion you'd want to set new records. The trick is to be satisfied with what you can do, not what you can't. Only wish I could follow that advice myself - found something I was extremely good at, and competed at a level lots of people would aspire to. Have raced on the same team as, and beaten people who are now World Champions, yet I still find myself wishing I was the chap who is now a World Champion and consistently wins lots of events, whilst I only won the odd thing here and there. The trick I reckon is to strive to be the best at being happy - wish I was rather better at that too 🙄

It's about getting somewhere you're satisfied with. For me, I'd like to win Sport or do well in Expert. I know I'm never going to be UK champ, I'm too old and I have a family...

"Striving for success is a hopeless task. If you were club champion you'd want to be national champion, national champion you'd want to be world champion, world champion you'd want to set new records"

But that is what being good is all about, always trying to improve and putting the effort in to make it happen. Very time consuming though.

Cycling and Swimming are the two things that you are always going to be limited by your physical makeup. Realistically if you can't do well above average without coaching, you are unlikely to be one of the best with it.

As I said elsewhere, go for the photography. You've taken some well above average shots already, and I'm sure you could do better with a bit more application.

[b] “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”[/b]

That's FDR, that is.

And he said this too:

[b]“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”[/b]

[i]“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” [/i]

Careful observance of this maxim would result in me masturbating miserably under my desk much more than I do at the moment. 🙂

Samuri,

This is one of the eternal dilemmas in life. My bottom line view is simple: I can get up in the morning and take a piss without help. That's a very good start to the day. Not living in Haiti aside, you have a son, a partner I presume and some love in your life. You're a lucky guy and some contemplation is healthy - happiness is much more important than success so just be good at being you - that's more than enough. Fate has a macabre sense of humour - the skills we have are rarely the ones we really want. Stay Smiley, be you, enjoy the skills you have and just be happy!

yeah cheer up you miserable ****er

At school I was always rubbish at maths and art - always had a real mental block about maths, especially mental arithmetic (sadistic primary teacher, weekly humiliation of tables tests), so decided to redo GCSE maths. Took great pleasure in getting an A*.

Am very proud of teaching myself to crochet (am left handed so always thought it would be more difficult for me).

Am now trying to learn how to draw and paint ...

MrsT

You're all correct, (well most of you anyway - I presume the rest are just hopeless losers). I'm going to do what Richpips said anyway, I think I'll make an effort to apply myself a bit more to photography, see what I can achieve with some proper effort. Maybe I can even be as good as him.

/licks richpips's boots.

ta.

Remember: You're great at being Samuri 😛

Pretty good photographer from what I've seen, I'd try and improve that.

Aah shucks, thanks. Eye contact handjobs all round if you fancy it it.

My careers teacher collared me the day I left school (at 16 before I took my highers) and said "You will be a failure and never amount to anything". Maybe it was reverse pychology because I'm not a failure, far from it.
We're all destined to be mediocre at things. Being mediocre at lots of things is better than none at all. Enjoyment of life to me is the most important thing. Who cares if I fall off my bike - laugh, enjoy the moment. You could be squashed tomorrow. 😛

Quite a few years ago I ended up in a rather difficult drunken conversation with a bloke in a pub about who and what each of us were.
Ultimately I said to him "I aim to do what I do to the best that I can."
2 seconds later, I had a rather disturbing hug and the reply, "That's all that we can do."
I have nothing else of interest to say.

Eye contact handjobs all round if you fancy it it.

edges away nervously...