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These sites are doing my head in constant upset with my kids ,i think they should be banned for under 16, what do you think?
I think they are part of our world, for better or for worse, and it unfortunately becomes your job as a parent to enable your kids to deal with the world as it is now.
It's tricky, but you are best placed and best qualified to help your kids deal with it.
what do you think?
[i]we[/i] are a social network. I'm not sure you can trust us to be impartial. 🙂
A practical impossibility.
Ban it. There was none of it when I went school and we didn't have bullying and we were all nice to each other.
Is there a particular issue you are in encountering?
Do you want to post about here on a public forum? 😉
Ahh the irony of asking about this on a "social network" for middle aged mountain bikers.
[url=
limit one Facebook is 13 [/url]by the way.
As above...Facebook has a 13 age limit....doesn't stop my 2 nagging to get on as all their mates are on there already
How do you propose enforcing an age limit? You can forget parents enforcing it for you .many are utterly clueless as to what their kids are up to IT wise.
How do you propose enforcing an age limit? You can forget parents enforcing it for you .many are utterly clueless as to what their kids are up to IT wise.
Oh that's easy, the NSA are already monitoring every communication in and out of Facebook's servers, they could easily tell whether someone is posting content that appears to come from below the 'too young' threshold. Job done.
The social network of school used to be a constant source of upset with most kids, I seem to remember.
My 10 year old signed herself up earlier in the year but I found her account and changed the password, after a couple of months she requested a new one. So we banned her for 2 weeks then chatted to her about it laying down some rules, my wife checked her chat history and there was some bullying some by her and some about her. We discussed this with her and it resulted in her agreeing she was too young just yet and we deleted her account.
Easy.
unplug the laptop, go outside
Facebook is banned, porn is not, does that make me a bad parent? His phone has just packed up (despite me repeatedly asking him to be more gentle with the keyboard). His world has ended and he's wondering around in a state of confusion interspersed with playing his guitar which is like a drowning man clutching at wreckage. (he can't use Madame's laptop because he insulted her this morning and I'm occupying the PC as solidarity with Madame).
I helped my daughter sign up to Facebook when she was 11. I look on it as educating her on the little ways to get past stupid rules, it'll serve her well in life.
Not that she uses it much, all the Spanish kids use Tuenti.
Ahh the irony of asking about this on a "social network" for middle aged mountain bikers.
The difference is if you post on here that Surfer has a big nose or has BO I wont be particularly ar***. When kids post this about other kids you shouldn't underestimate the misery it brings. As a parent of two teenagers I am all too aware of what I can and cant control and its not as easy as saying take the laptop/phone off them unfortunately.
"This thing was invented after I was 25 and so it is wrong and must be banned."
My mum's generation thought we were all going to hell in a handcart too.
When kids post this about other kids you shouldn't underestimate the misery it brings.
Okay, but I'm just a little unconvinced that the best way to avoid your kids being hurt by what others say is to stop them talking to others.
no but people will say more behind a laptop than face to face
what do you think?
It's an impossible task - kids have so many ways of communicating these days - tablets, phones, email, facebook, even during gaming, the list goes on.
My 11yr old daughter is alway having an issue with someone on group message with iMessage!
The best you can do is be there for your kids when they need support. I was bullied at school during the 80s and the only way to communicate was face to face.
And if facebook (or whatever) is causing massive problem then just delete the account - no one [i]needs[/i] facebook.
I've got a 16 year old and a 13 year old. So far we have a light ride with social media
We sort of stuck to the 13 years old rule. Infact my daughter still doesn't really use social media
As I understand the new dimension that cyber bullying brings is that feeling that the bullying doesn't stop when you get home.
the genie is well and truly out of the bottle. It causes no end of trouble at school often 2nd or 3rd hand so and so said this... about you. Being cynical HTF did they expect to ensure age limits on this? 'they' all use it. still not given in myself 😀
You can't make the stuff in the world that you don't like go away. Since when has banning anything resuled in better outcomes? The problem just gets hidden and the vulnerable get no support when they need it...
Best thing you can do IMO is give your kids advice and support and how to handle it.
As I've got older (40 this year) I've noticed that those of my friends who just accept the world and deal with the bad stuff, are ok. Those that just 'wish it was better' are unhappy and negative...
Best thing, surely is to equip your kids with the strength and judgement to handle this stuff for themselves - it'll serve them better in the long run
Since when has banning anything resuled in better outcomes?
Lots of bans work. You just don't notice them as they work.
I would suggest you help your kids learn to deal with the social networks, you can help them more if you understand how they work and help the kids police their use, eg limit friends, don't allow everyone to see everything, don't post potnetially embarrasing/private photos, don't get drawn into slanging matches online, don't be part of bullying etc
My kids are 24/22/19 and have been using various social networks for 10+ years - its a fact of life today
Ban social networks for everyone. Biggest pile of shite ever invented.
How do you ban it? Been thinking about this a lot lately. My 20 month can already navigate youtube. It's only a few clicks and you can find someone being beheaded (or probably worse). The videos have no age limit on them. I cannot see how any settings on my router or ISP prevent someone accessing this.
When she's older she will doubtless get hold of a smart phone. How could I stop her accessing whatever she wishes outside of the house?
I concluded the only thing I can do is educate her and hope she listens. Little bit scary really.
Older fathers - do worries like this go away?
Ban it. There was none of it when I went school and we didn't have bullying and we were all nice to each other.
I think you left off the 😉
ampthill - Member
Since when has banning anything resuled in better outcomes?
Lots of bans work. You just don't notice them as they work.
Like using hand-held mobile phones while driving?
loddrik - Member
Ban social networks for everyone. Biggest pile of shite ever invented.
Yeah, like the Syrians and various other governments have tried to do. It worked really well for them... 😕
I think solid parenting and education is the solution not prohibition.
I deal with the fallout from Facebook etc on a daily basis. Bullying, sexual content, lack of sleep, the list is endless and ever-evolving. Most parents have no idea what their kids are up to online, and this is the cause of most issues. The balance is difficult but involves parental oversight of what is going on, and a decent level of trust from both sides.
The best advice I would give to any parent (other than actually talking to your kids about the issues) is to have place in the house where all phones spend the night, and enforce it.
And switch the Wifi router off at an agreed time.
You then just need to make sure that no-one retrieves the phone or switches the router back on...
Good luck.
And switch the Wifi router off at an agreed time.
If you're doing that then check how many other accessible wifi networks you can see (neighbours etc)
I think solid parenting includes prohibition up to 15. I came to this conclusion after spending some time in a German school where all the major discipline issues turned around Facebook. The school where Madame works also has to deal with cyber-bullying and inappropriate material being posted by students in connection with the school.
My son non longer has a computer in his room and his phone is left on the kitchen table at night.
I concluded the only thing I can do is educate her and hope she listens. Little bit scary really.Older fathers - do worries like this go away?
Yes and no, depends on the kid. My eldest seems pretty sensible, certainly not had any issues at school (bar the odd falling out), all the girls in her class use social networks - if I tried to prohibit it (like Edukator says) she'd very much be the odd one out, which I don't think is a good thing for a 13 year old girl... Do I worry? To a certain extent, but I've made it clear how important it is to take care of what you post, about how you never know who could end up reading it, etc., and she knows what bullying is and knows it's wrong whether in person or using a computer.
My youngest (9) isn't really into the social network stuff yet - don't know what I'll let her use, will see when we get there...
Heard the unmistakable shrill of an iPhone/iPod (iPod touch in this instance) being put on charge at 12.30am last night, after Jnr had been in bed since 9pm (he's 11). Turns out he'd been on Facebook chatting to girls, no idea if he knows them or not, as I wasn't prepared to have the conversation with him that late at night.
I think we'll have to resort to TroutWrestler/Edukator's all phones/iPods handed in before bed time and then switch the router off. We've taken them off him before bed in the past, but it needs to become a routine.
The iPod Touch is the only device he can really use in bed to do this stuff, it's quite easy to block various apps with one of those too.
Cross between frosty and trout wrestler +1
It is a problem, but if caught early enough then kids understand.
my 13yo has had fb for just under 2 years, her mates had it when they were in P6, which put a lot of pressure on us, but we discussed and agreed a compromise of when she's settled into high school.
Her account is tied to her email, which she doesn't use, but is setup on my laptop. We know her password, if she tries to change it, I get notified and she gets a short ban. It also means that whatever is posted up by her close friends gets emailed to her account, so we can monitor that if need be.
There have been issues of bullying by others on there, we've stepped back to see how she deals with it, if she shows signs of distress we intervene, removing 'friends' and in some cases blocking them.
most of fb is either boys posting suggestive quotes and girls posting about how crap their lives are because x did x and mums not letting me pierce the new fashionable bit of body that's probably inappropriate for a 12 year old to pierce....
Certain undesirable influences went on within the peer group which got police etc involved so we keep a fairly close eye on things now. FB isn't the problem, BBM is. We can monitor her BBM/texts and gps locate her now if we need to, but thankfully there have only been a handful of times we've had our suspicions raised so much we've needed to. We're pretty glad we checked but it's not really the finding out if there are social issues fueled by social networking site/apps, it's more about what you do with the information when you have it.
the sites and apps are going to be a part of it, make it forbidden and kids will find ways to get around it. Anything that we find out we discuss with our daughter, verbally roleplaying scenario's we see, but she is unable to at the time. It's not about telling them what to/not to do, it's about guiding them to your way of thinking by themselves.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it takes a bit longer. Whichever way though, it's a hell of a learning curve for all.