[Closed] Attractive women with average chaps-can the girls explain this phenomenon?

[i]Should I let my handsome,athletic,sensitive 40something self go a little,so as to snag me one of these finer types?[/i]

No - money is the magic aphrodisiac.

I assumed that too.

Case closed then.

money is the magic aphrodisiac

my thought was that lovely looking isn't necessarily reflected in the personality (and contrariwise)

Yup, golddiggers the lot of them

Seems to me that when you see couples in their late teens,20s and early 30s the balance often seems to be a good match.Like for like,as it were.

Looks are less important to them as they get older? Maternal instincts and 'love' and wotnot come to the fore for a woman instead?

So... stop being so shallow 😉

He says, having just asked out a girl ten years younger than him... 🙄

This thread is useless without pictures. 😈

^^ Ha

Maybe it's a class thing. Where I live, lots of blokes do heavy manual jobs, while a lot of the women do very little in the way of exercise. So, it's the other way round.

And as DrJ says; money is quite an important factor in the equation.

When I was at uni, there were a lot of middle-class kids from wealthy backgrounds. Whilst some of the girls would have fun whilst at uni, many of them spoke of wanting to meet a bloke who would provide for them, and keep them in a comfortable lifestyle. Very shallow, I thought. But it was as though it harkened back to ages ago, where all women had to do, it seemed, was to make themselves look pretty so that they would look good on their husbands' arms. 40, 50+ years ago, not as many women had 'careers', outside of homemaking and motherhood, so financial stability was something they found desirable.

You would think that things have moved on, but it does appear that certain vestiges of the past remain. But then, the role of the male as breadwinner/hunter, and the female as the homemaker/mother, is quite a primeval one, and undoubtedly still quite entrenched within our humanity.

So, the ability to make money has replaced the ability to be big and strong enough to be a successful hunter, certainly within 'developed' societies.

As for base, animal attraction, well, people still lust after other sexy people. Can't fight that. Maybe it's just that our social conditioning has led us to a situation where it's more acceptable for men to want to be with physically attractive females, and female sexual desire has been oppressed within a male-dominated society.

What a load of waffle, for a Sunday morning...

wise but true waffle RB

I think we all take that as a given but I really wanted some defacto responses from the girls..

Sorry!

Mrs Merton:'So what first Debbie,attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?'

No need to apologise for such eloquent prose.Totally agree.

There must be a lot of frustrated housewives out there.

Maybe the guys are, ahem, large guys...

A far to brief and simplistic comment, on what is undoubtedly a complex and intriguing topic.

I 'get on' with women, and have always had lots of female friends. Probbly 'cos I had a good positive relationship with my mother, or something. Talking to them about what they find attractive, in men, is quite inertesting. Looks are not as immediately as important, as in men. Most women definitely seem to favour personality over looks, overall. And the thing about looks; we are bombarded with images and representations of female beauty, and have been throughout time. Women have always been objectified, whereas men have oft been the principle social actors. So, it's therefore a lot easier, for woman to 'conform' to ideals- men are not sure as to what these socially-constructed ideals are.

Take a look at how women are evaluated. there's a thread on Caroline Flint MP, regarding her sexual attractiveness. There is bugger all mention of her abilities as an MP, or her character. Do women look at all male MPs, and sit there thinking 'would you'? I doubt it. Maybe some. I dunno.

So, for a woman, looking good is a requirement to which most believe they must conform. Until quite recently, in Western society, any attempts by men, to buff themselves up, would be frowned on by other men, and labeled effeminate, or 'Gay'. I had a mate who would quite publicly say that I looked 'Gay', when we were out in a group. Until one of the women pointed out that he was just jealous of me, as I am slimmer and fitter than him, and dressed better. He now has a wash and a shave, before going out...

Upshot is, it's not as 'important' for men to loo good; we are more preoccupied with wealth and power.

Bit silly, really. I find intelligent, successful women very sexy. Unlike some blokes, I'm really not bothered if she earns more than me (if she earnt any less, she'd be skint!). I don't feel emasculated in any way.

Must go; I've got to clean the place up, do the dishes and that, get the dinner prepared, for my little friend who's coming round in a bit. I'll have to get cleaned up as well, and a bit of aftershave might not go amiss...

Maybe the guys are, ahem, large guys...

one might speculate that such lack subtlety thinking size is sufficient 🙁

Im not getting involved..

MV happily a middle aged ugly bloke with attractive lady.

Podium...I reckon it's time to change your supermarket!!

Do women have an instinct for a potential provider/partner, I wonder.An internal genetic sensor,which they have to override when only looking for to fulfill certain physical needs.

And Podium...your eyes will automatically have been drawn to the "attractive" women...you'll then have looked at their partner and muttered to yourself something along the lines of..."how did that ugly fat f***** get her?" 😉

Don't suppose you noticed the ugly women with attractive men.
Or the "matched" couples.

Get back to Waitrose and do some more research!!! 😈

8)

Hey FC,I'm a Waitrose kinda guy.

It's a universal phenom,regardless of where one shops.Could be a wedding,party etc.

But I'll nip into Sainsbury next week just to make sure.

Possible theories on a subconscious evolutionary bias :

i) Attractive women are placed on a pedestal and treated well by blokes who have successfully shot for the moon - a relationship with a less attractive man may be more stable and him less likely to leave/sh*it on them. A man without the looks often relies on his personality and behaviour to be charming and good to spend time with, women are mature/developed enough to prefer this and recognise this trait as better father material.

ii) Women may subconsciously feel insecure if a man is more attractive than them, as he is less likely to stick around as he may get a "better offer", therefore not good father material. Often borne out by the fact that bad experiences with "bastards" in younger years leads to later settling down with more trustworthy blokes for nestbuilding.

A man without the looks often relies on his personality and behaviour to be charming

ooops, so THAT'S where I'm going wrong ?

Huge schlong

Wonder if they would mind if I did an in-store survey,complete with with clip board and questionnaire.

"Madam,can you tell me exactly what you see in your fat,balding middle aged husband cos you is well hot?"
😛

[i] Until quite recently, in Western society, any attempts by men, to buff themselves up, would be frowned on by other men, and labeled effeminate, or 'Gay'.[/i]

Erm...don't think many of this chaps mates would have stood much of a chance if they'd called him "gay". 8)

[img] [/img]

Just have a google at 18th, 19th and 20th century fashion, and I reckon it's the blokes who are the most tarted up!! 😉

LOL at Drac!!!

SO true!! 😉

Yes Foxy,I do notice all the various couplings.Adds another dimension to the midweek top-up.

[i]I do notice all the various couplings[/i] 😯

In Waitrose??????????????

But it's what you do with the third leg that counts,all women know this 😉

A slip of the tongue *s***** Couples.. [hopefully not coupling]

Back on track please.

A slip of the tongue *s*****

that too ? How adventurous!

So ... Podium ... do you live up to your forum name?

I agree about Waitrose - different class of females in there - and very interesting too for people-watching 🙂

Some may say that women come into their prime in their teens ... unlike men 😉

And he wonders why he is single...

I found having a larger Schlong and reasonable good looks really helps to pull but only at first (a few months anyway)

Your confident/nice/male personality, body and brains to match. Money doesn't always come into it. It helps to have cash/independency.

Be yourself. Get friends to set you up with dates or just ask them out.

Educational vid that will make you laugh!

I found having a larger Schlong ... really helps to pull but only at first

this prompts 2 questions:
1) do you get it out on first meeting to establish your credentials ?
2) did you have the op and notice and improvement - otherwise how would you know ?

some women (including myself) like men who treat them well and have respect for them - these are some of the key things that makes the non pretty boys attractive. oh and pretty boys cannot be trusted!

Pretty boys aren't going to be looking at females.

Hey If I was that hung I'd be called Ricky Rocket on my DVD's...and hitting the cervix is like getting kicked in the nuts so size is not everything. Obviously if you have 3 inches then yes you will have a probs.

Now SFB has a point, I found at least if she's really into you, you'll get laid within a week. Just don't get the male slut image or reputation of using women. Bit like cyclists who go through red lights and give the rest a bad name.

But do you want a lady who just falls over easily like that? and the stereotypical nice girl holds out?

Well women have sex drives too. But they don't want to be used either-espcially now they're older and wiser-the tend to know what they want.

Women are great and treat them that way. Make sure you have Chemistry and it's not hard work.

If it's really hard to get on, she's a bit weird, has a dodgy history or wants to take it slow-really slow and you want a relationship-get the hell out asap-don't be used.

My current GF is a psychologist...some women have been great. I've had two wackos which I escaped-you soon pick up on it. Just don't get laid or your hormones won't see her faults.

Sometimes it's nice to be single too.

Be happy with yourself. Find a friend, lover and soulmate. Thats what you want for successful relationship.

You learn with your mistakes, maybe no mistakes at all, just make sure you have the same values and use your EARS! don't suggest anything when she talks to your about her problem or bad day. Just listen!

[i]But they don't want to be used either-espcially now they're older and wiser-the tend to know what they want.[/i]

I agree

Oh and pretty boys means good looking men these days, not gay 😀

Metro sexual-Women like guys who take care of themselves but if you spend
more time in the mirror and bathroom than her...

Shaving balm-sure but give her a enough faults to try to improve you.
Just don't be a little kid who wants a Mummy.

Some women may want a 'pretty boy', some women want hairy chests or waxed boards-guys want different things too.

I'm guilty of not dating numpties. She has to have brains-even smarter is great. Not every guy likes an intelligent woman.

No offense Zaskar but you sound like a 20something peacock.

This thread is for 40somethings.Now off with you 😉

Might use Zasks blurb on a fitness-singles profile.

[i]Oh and pretty boys means good looking men these days, not gay[/i]

Not up North it don't.

Podium you can edit your post if you're quick!

In in a similar situation, you would have never put me n my bf together, not to sound bigheaded but everyone knows im out of his league....however, it doesnt bother me at all what he looks like. Were pretty awesome together, into exactly the same things, blah blah blah...although he does get rather pananoid, which is kinda pathetic thb, im not the type to stray. Plus with him being a fair bit older than me, it does give me a sense of stability dispite the fact that he the worlds biggest kid. But its like zaskar said....everyones different...id rather have a perfection than just appear to have it.

*thumbs up* sfb

but everyone knows im out of his league.

glad we got that sorted out 🙂

[i]Oh and pretty boys means good looking men these days, not gay

Not up North it don't. [/i]

Well I'm not from 'up North'!

hehe he gets told often enough its fine 😛

Podium - Member
No offense Zaskar but you sound like a 20something peacock.

I wish! just have a few lady friends and just listen-can know what they want and sometimes don't!

Don't try too hard and be yourself. Make them laugh if that is you.

Just get out there Podium -go get 'em boy!

Ginormica - Member
hehe he gets told often enough its fine

He loves it really!

I'm not interested in money or having a stunningly beautiful model type man on my arm.

Really good looking men tend to be absolute tossers, they know they are attractive and in my experience are not capable of remaining faithful.

Yes chemistry is important, but so is trust and loyalty. It's the person as a whole that matters, not just the way they look.

Sounds like you had a bad experience-doesn't mean all good looking guys are 'tossers'.

Zaskar - More than 1 bad experience, but thats why i said tend to be tossers rather than are all tossers. I'm sure there must be a few good ones out there!

must be a few good ones out there

i'm told we're a rare breed but yes, we are out there.... 😆

Some people think too hard about these things 😀

It's like all the way through high school and college all the attractive lasses went out with older/good looking guys who were absolute idiots, totally unfaithful and used them. Then late in life seem to have run away from the older/good lookers and find someone average who'll not screw them over. But thats a real generalisation - there's a fairly healthy mix, otherwise there's be a vast array of horrifically ugly people on the arms of stunning men. Or lots of single good looking men.

Attractiveness isn't all about looks. A lot of it is to do with how you treat someone, attitude to life etc etc.

i use a cocktail of vet medicines to keep my lass with me. she is up to 2000mg a day! getting pricey but i love the way she looks at me so sleepily and wistfully.

[i]i'm told we're a rare breed but yes, we are out there.[/i]

I think decent men are a rare breed full stop but that's a different story altogether.............

mate of mine met a stunningly attractive 'out of his league' girl via internet dating. Inevitably the conversation got to why she 'needed' to use internet dating when she could have pick of the field.

And her answer was very reassuring: the trouble in being too attractive is that 'average' men feel overawed and won't approach her, so she is instead preyed upon by the narcissists and have a go wide boys. In her opinion looks aren't everything - far from in fact. When you are finished with the lustful attraction bit, she's hoping she'll want to talk to her partner for the next 40 or so years.

I don't know how i do it but i do 8)

The Waitrose near my sisters house, is very much, older, bald, out of condition man, with young sexy very attractive girl. They are just after sugar daddies to keep them in the lifestyle they've become accustomed to.

Where we live, couples tend to be evenly matched, it's not a poser type place, more down to earth and outdoorsy. In fact I've often seen out on our local trails walking or cycling, really goodlooking chaps with plainish Women.

I believe that personality is everything. The ability to make me laugh and feel secure, far outweighs the fact I'll be kissing a Brad Pitt lookalike at the end of each day.

Maybe all those blokes don't have bedsits full of old bike bits or smell of chain lube.

I'll be kissing a Brad Pitt lookalike at the end of each day.

you wish 😉

Is going for looks a typically more male thing? Is that why A and A is chock full of photos of women every week. No one can help what they look like, good or bad. Looks don't do it for me at all, it's the sparkles that get me.

[img] [/img] 🙂

[i]it's the sparkles that get me.[/i]

Yep, me too!!! 😉

[img] [/img]

LOL at FC!

I really dont know what you mean..

[img] [/img]

and we were already grandparents when this was taken...

Status and 'inner game'for LTR. Being fitter than the average chump helps gets you laid.

My two observations!

just so you know I'm not good looking but also a tosser 🙁

Simon, it's rare for me to agree with you, but hey, on this occasion...

😉

Women are interested in who someone is, as well as what they look like.

Unless a woman gives a man a h*** on at 50 yrds, he views her as a waste of space in all respects, if he is honest with himself.

I dated a chap 20 years older than me - it was accepted by everyone.
I had a close but totally platonic relationship with a chap 9 years younger than me - my friendship was treated with great suspicion by people and often with hostility. Usually included with this attitude was the comment 'you are too old for him to want' even, presumably, as just a friend.

A male newly divorced neighbour told me with total seriousness that all of the guys in his support group wanted to find new partners, but all of them wanted women at least 5 years younger than their ex-wives. His own ex-wife had already been 5 years younger than him, so at 50 he was looking for someone younger than 40 and was not prepared to 'compromise' on any woman older.

Well, I wonder why most women end up with guys older than them? Could it be social attitudes? Could it be they often only get a chance to date at all if they agree to accept someone much older than they are themselves?

This thread is still going I see.

Had an interesting experience [talk] this evening with a bit of posh totty registering 9.5 on the MilfOmeter

Anyway,Californication is just about to start...

Spooky! Hanks ex wife = spitting image of my teenage sweetheart.Now THAT was true love 🙁

We have those at ASDA in large numbers:
[img] [/img]

In answer to your original question, everyone has something to offer but, with some folk, you will need to dig a little deeper to find it.

Frankly, I can't understand why society doesn't adopt the attitude of the mtb community - you're just accepted for what you are 🙂

Don't get me started on this shallow society we live in 😉

Criteria for me was own hair and teeth 😉