MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
It's a question that has wracked the souls of men for millenia, not to mention kept the STW hamsters busy on countless occasions. Only yesterday (and possibly still today), a religion thread was bubbling along nicely with participants asking whether other participants could prove or disprove the existence of Grand Creator (no, not Kevin McCloud).
Well, I must confess that yesterday I was a disbeliever but on the drive home I had an epiphany. The bible tells us that St Paul had his 'Road to Damascus' moment. I, St IHN as I shall now be called, had my 'Road From The M4 To Tetbury, Just Past Didmarton, But Not Quite As Far As Westonbirt' moment.
I was listening to the radio when it hit me. The giant panda. No, I wasn't actually hit by a giant panda, I was listening to the travails of the good people at Edinburgh zoo attempting to get Mung Bean and Cat Nap (or whatever they're called) to mate. Lady pandas, it would seem, are only on heat for 36 hours [b]a year[/b]. Added to this, pandas live solitary lives in the wild so the chances of a Chappie panda bumping by chance into a Lady panda during the magical period where he might actually get his end away are about 250-1. If he does manage to beat those odds and actually find a lady panda willing to make sweet sweet panda lovin', he might not actually manage to get his end away because, apparently quite often, her tail gets in the way! The keepers at Edinburgh, I kid you not, were holding it to one side with a long stick, hoping that this may help the loving couple in their quest to insert Tab A into Slot B.
Plus, of course, the pandas chances of survival in the wild are hampered somewhat by its entire reliance on a single food source (bamboo).
No species this procreationally and nutritionally inept could possibly have evolved through natural selection. Mother Nature would long since have said 'sorry, but you're just not cutting it'. The only way that the panda could have come to and continue to exist is via the hand of a Great Creator (probably one with a soft spot for big fluffy black and white bears).
So, there you have it. The panda exists therefore God exists. Bow down and pray mortals...
What about the Zebra Crossing ?
and Who created God ?
TJ created god to give him something to argue about. That's why he's so touchy about it all.
[i]What about the Zebra Crossing ?[/i]
It's very useful for crossing roads. Unless you're a zebra, because then you'd be camouflaged. Luckily there are few roads in the African savannah
[i]and Who created God ?[/i]
Mummy and Daddy God, duh!
God was created by a dyslexic Mummy and Daddy dog?
Well I guess I've heard less believable stories about creation which people seem to be willing to go with, so why not? 🙂
Irrefutable logic IHN!
Here's some more:
and Who created God ?Mummy and Daddy God, duh!
"I follow the way of TJ now :-)".....he is the new Messiah! (well for a little while until TJ2 comes along)
your theory is wrong I'm afraid IHN.. and this is the proof..
Er, why is the panda the logo for the World Wildlife Fund?
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I think if I was doing a video blog, i'd get dressed and sort my hair out first!!
[i]Er, why is the panda the logo for the World Wildlife Fund?[/i]
Because they agree with me
emsz - Member
I think if I was doing a video blog, i'd get dressed and sort my hair out first!!
Meh, why waste time... just post a video!
[i]Because they agree with me[/i]
No my dear - [i]one estimate shows that there are about 1,590 individuals living in the wild[/i] (wikipedia).
They ain't doing too well.
[i]No my dear - one estimate shows that there are about 1,590 individuals living in the wild (wikipedia).
They ain't doing too well.[/i]
That's my point, left to their own evolutionary devices they would have died out years ago. The fact that they still somehow manage to exist as a species suggests, indeed proves, the existence of a greater power. And I don't mean the WWF.
Austin Powers?
[i]Austin Powers?[/i]
No, silly, Paddy Power.
So if Pandas become extinct then God is dead?
*polishes blunderbuss*
[i]So if Pandas become extinct then God is dead?[/i]
Well, you'd be killing the favourite pet of an omnipotent being, so I'm guessing that he won't be dead, instead he'll be [b]very[/b] annoyed. And my mum taught me never to annoy and omnipotent being.
[i]That's my point, left to their own evolutionary devices they would have died out years ago. The fact that they still somehow manage to exist as a species suggests, indeed proves, the existence of a greater power[/i]
We killed em off, we're keeping them alive.
Therefore human = god.
I thought the animal that proved the existence of God was the duck billed platypus, because its made out of the leftover bits from other creatures.
Pandas are slowly heading up an evolutionary dead end, they are an omnivore that got too fussy about its food, so it can barely raise the energy to procreate - see also koalas. Habitat loss plays a part but it is only another extinction, it happens all the time, the difference is pandas and koalas are cute.
The lesson from this boys and girls is to eat your meat AND your greens.
I fancy making bezzy mates with the Devil though.
If there's a God, then there's got to be a Devil (as proved in the case of man verses the peanut butter jar) and I quite fancy being on good terms with him when I spend all of eternity at his place... so I'm more than happy to annoy your poncey god.
[i]We killed em off, we're keeping them alive.
Therefore human = god.[/i]
How do you know that God isn't directing our actions in keeping them alive?
human = god's vetinary assistant
[i]Pandas are slowly heading up an evolutionary dead end, they are an omnivore that got too fussy about its food, so it can barely raise the energy to procreate [/i]
But surely evolutionary change only happens, or at least is maintained through generations, when it's to the benefit of the species? Evolving 'down' to only have one food source is contrary to that. Therefore evolution doesn't exist, therefore God does.
I appreciate it's a lot to take in of a morning, especially as you're probably thinking about what you'll do over the long weekend, but you'll come round eventually.
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[i]but you'll come round eventually.[/i]
That's it, I'm persuaded. I'll see you down the church on Sunday.
Don't worry DeBz you'll be resurrected into an upstanding atheist by the end of the weekend anyway.
Did'nt think of thank! and disappears in a puff of logic.
You have to prove that black is white first.
What's wrong with 'Black' Cougar?
But surely evolutionary change only happens, or at least is maintained through generations, when it's to the benefit of the species? Evolving 'down' to only have one food source is contrary to that. Therefore evolution doesn't exist, therefore God does.
Depends, if the populations small, no predators and a hugely abundant food source then there is no evolutionary drive to change (or you evolve to eat the hugely abundant food source that nothing else eats) . If the bamboo suddenly didn't exist, or a female panda on heat 365 days a year with no tail existed then evolution would push the panda population down a non bamboo eating humping like rabits route.
[b]THIS[/b] is proof of the existence of God. Victoria Pendleton's bottom. What more do you need?!
[img] http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/m4/apr2011/5/7/image-4-for-victoria-pendleton-s-sexy-photoshoot-gallery-946011461.jp g" target="_blank">http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/m4/apr2011/5/7/image-4-for-victoria-pendleton-s-sexy-photoshoot-gallery-946011461.jp g"/> &sa=X&ei=vGV9T5KGGeX80QXMmvG4DQ&ved=0CAwQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNH_rD-WolBSW39ICHdBbhUO_9QT5A[/img]
What's wrong with 'Black' Cougar?
Nothing. It's my favouritest of all the colours. And you fail at pop culture references.
[i]Depends, if the populations small, no predators and a hugely abundant food source then there is no evolutionary drive to change (or you evolve to eat the hugely abundant food source that nothing else eats) . If the bamboo suddenly didn't exist, or a female panda on heat 365 days a year with no tail existed then evolution would push the panda population down a non bamboo eating humping like rabits route.[/i]
Careful, I've had my first convert this morning (DezB), don't make me burn my first heretic...
What's wrong with 'Black' Cougar?
Some of my best friends are cougars. Err...
pandas - single food source, only in heat for 2.5 hours a year and tend to live 3.5 hours away from any members of the opposite sex. How do they survive as a species? by evolving into something so cute we all want one and will go to sorts of trouble to help them get it on.
Thus proving evolutionary theory.
So you know where you can stick your gods (apart from Thor, always thought he was kinda cool).
I am an atheist.
After going to the gym this morning, that could
Change...I mean only god could create a woman
With a body like that...
Sorry...
[i]How do they survive as a species? by evolving into something so cute we all want one and will go to sorts of trouble to help them get it on.[/i]
Ah, but we've only been actively helping htem to get it on for the last 50 or so years. How did they survive before that? By being God's favourite, that's how.
Maybe not so much of an evolutionary dead end - you might be a terminally fussy eater and suffer from reproductive mechanical and biochemical difficulties but you have an ace up your sleeve - becoming cute. So cute that you get the longpigs to look after you and even help out in tender moments with a stick...
panda's aren't cute.. and we certainly don't dance to their tune.. 🙄
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Loving this thread - thanks, IHN! 😆
[i]Loving this thread - thanks, IHN![/i]
May the Lord be with you my child.
May the Pandagod be with you my child.
FIFY
Ah, but we've only been actively helping htem to get it on for the last 50 or so years. How did they survive before that? By being God's favourite, that's how.
50 years ago they were less fussy eaters and not too lazy to get it on without help. Then we turned up and they realised they didn't need to go and look for food or women. Plus, as a bonus it turns out that they can enetertain themelves watching us oooh and aah every time they fart.
Seriously, have you seen the pandas in Edinburgh. Cool, but the people were much more entertaining. It could've been a dead border collie for all anyone knew. In fact, maybe that's it. Pandas are liek gods, in that they don't actually exist but people worship them anyway and the reason they don't do IT is because the blokes in the bear suits are just too hot, sweaty and don't fancy each other anyway