Just had a call from the Headmaster of the school I teach at. One of my tutees died yesterday - 14yr old lad - super kid.
Why relevant here - well on top of him being my tutee I also ran an mtb activity which he came to every week over the summer term. Over the term he went from a super cautious rider who would rather get off and walk to a confident young lad who would happily follow me on the local trails. He was riding with his family yesterday on holiday and raced off down a downhill section of the bridleway, didn't realise/appriciate/account for there being road at the bottom, overshot into the road and was hit by a transit and thrown 50 yards down the road.
Not my fault in the strictest sense but feeling pretty bad just at the minute 🙁
shit.
definitely not your fault.
does your school offer staff any counselling services?
holy shit. bad times. nothing to do with you of course. but proper grim.
That is awful, my sincere condolences.
Not your fault at all as has been said.
thats terrible for everyone concerned
sounds like it wasnt anyones fault
Really sorry to hear that.
Nothing more than a terrible terrible accident.
Horrendous but definitely not your fault.
Very sad for all involved, but obviously not in any way your fault.
🙁
That's bloody shite! Sorry to hear you're feeling so bad about it - not your fault at all, though I can understand why you'd see it the way you do today.
Bugger! 😥
Follow the wise words of philly.
oh ****ing hell...
Bad news for you, him and of course his family.
Condolences.
As above have said, not your fault.
terrible accident
It's normal to blame yourself even though you are not at all responsible for what has happened.
All the best to you, terribly sad event.
Ah man, that is awful. No-one's fault, just a horrible accident.
🙁
its totally cool to cry.
i'm welling up just trying to empathise how you're feeling right now.
sounds like it wasnt anyones fault
Um, the poor kid?
Convert, just imagine how the poor van driver is feeling.
Very sad news
Convert, just imagine how the poor van driver is feeling.
Agreed, the irony is I was posting about van drivers inadvertently running someone over and the risks of doing something stupid on the motorbike thread as I got the call.
signing off - fresh air and ride for me I think.
That is terrible and horrible for everyone involved. Waste of a young life 🙁
We can all see why you think you bear some responsibility but you dont
You would not be human if you did not think like this but as we all know and have said it was not your fault
Go and do your grieving and dont let it hang over you
If you need help get it
Not your fault at all, though I'm sure I'd be feeling horribly guilty if I was in your position.
Definitely recommend some counselling if the bike ride doesn't work. It helped a lot for me when a friend was severely injured in an incident which whilst not my fault at all I still wonder if I could have prevented if I'd done something different.
that's terrible. Not your fault. Just shit shit luck really. I've shot onto unexpected road before. I suspect many people. You could spread blame over kids or parents, but it won't help, there's no point. A horrible unfortunate accident.
Life can be poo. Very often it is.
Here's hoping the school/family/community do something awesome in his name.
All you've done is introduce him and others to a great sport, something you should continue to do.
Kids sitting around doing nothing is far more dangerous.
Sad news for all involved.
All you've done is introduce him and others to a great sport, something you should continue to do.Kids sitting around doing nothing is far more dangerous.
This. How many kids who didn't have teachers as great as you will end up dying of obesity or inactivity related diseases?
Bugger. 🙁
Can only echo what has been said, but mate, you were introducing this lad to a fine past time, one which had it not been for the accident would probably have given him great pleasure for all his life.
Terrible accident, go ride, get it out of your system. You wouldnt be human if you didnt feel terrible.
Deepest Condolences to all involved.
It is a tremendous shame the lad died so young and my heart really goes out to his family, friends and yourself as well. However Convert, you obviously gave him a new interest and helping him gain confidence and have a great time - no matter how he died you gave him something amazingly positive in his life.
An accident is simply an unforeseen event with negative consequences and resultantly no one saw this coming, not his parents, not himself and least of all you. Don't blame yourself - instead try to remember if you can all the things you are doing for young people, both educating and widening horizons... Not many people can say this.
Take care
J
People have a natural talent for twisting perceptions to blame themselves with things like this. It's a terrible accident like everyone says. Put your rational head on and just remind yourself of that occasionally over the coming weeks. However, as I'm sure you're aware, feeling shit is an unavoidable part of the process.
🙁
How awful...it quickly puts everything else into perspective.
Easy for me to say this but you can't go blaming yourself for this accident or someone elses horrible & tragic death.
Life is so fragile...you need to focus on how you influenced the boy for good and let that be your principle memory.
No other words really seem relevant...
Sad news and a tragedy for all. 🙁
that's awful 🙁 my condolences to his family/friends.
Wish I'd had a teacher like you.
That is really awful.
I can imagine that I would feel the same in your position, but def not your fault. Just a really sh*t accident.
Wish I'd had a teacher like you.
+100
convert, is your school in north wales?
I'm sure there are a number of people feeling like they had a part to play, however I totally agree with the above
Nothing more than a terrible terrible accident.
Wish I'd had a teacher like you.
I did, not mtbing, but sailing and windsurfing, on his own time after school, driving us to Ripon. It was great, I really looked forward to it each and every week.
Sound like OPs students did too. The bad feelings now are just the side effect of being a decent conscientious human being.
"The bad feelings now are just the side effect of being a decent conscientious human being".
Exactly what I was going to say.
Christ, that's truly, truly awful and horrifically unlucky.
Heart goes out to all who knew him.
As above, it's not your fault. You may as well blame the parents fit teaching him to walk and ride a bike in the first place. You were doing the right thing and should carry on doing as you were. It's a hard world and sometimes shit happens. I'm sorry it involved you.
"The bad feelings now are just the side effect of being a decent conscientious human being".
+100 - you seem like a decent chap from your posts convert and anyone would feel like you do. No point in telling you not to beat yourself up but make sure you go and have a chat about it with some colleagues over a few beers or something. It'll help get you some perspective..
Just read the OP out to mrs deadly - and felt awful for you again.
🙁
It's not your fault at all. Keep talking to those close to you, or even us STW nerds. My thoughts are with you and his family.
Nothing to add apart from my condolences and, as others have said, don't discount counseling. You are blameless in this.
Thoughts with his family and yourself.
Thats very harsh
Please dont beat yourself up about it . It was simply an accident, wrong place, wrong time.
I can see your feeling the need to be responsible in some way , but your not . You cant wrap kids up in cotton wool and keep them indoors.
Nice letter to family perhaps? No parent should have to bury their child , be difficult on his mates too.
Stand down young man.
May your tailwinds be eternal.
Firstly may I pass on my condulnances to the family involved.
Like everyone else has said, its natural to feel the way you do.
I'm a Driving Instructor and I found out one of my Ex pupils had had a crash, fortunatly not very bad, but I beat myself up about it for a while asking myself could I have done anything different.
It just shows that, like myself, you care about what you do.
I agree.The bad feelings now are just the side effect of being a decent conscientious human being.
You gave that lad a wonderful chance to do something he loved. It was an accident and absolutely nothing to do with you.
I wish there were more teachers like you.
Sorry to hear that you knew the lad. The incident was near to where I live. Very sad day and my heart goes out to all the friends and family.
At least you gave him a pastime to enjoy, you put the extra effort in that not all teachers do. This could have happened at anytime.
I do the same at my school, and I do worry when we are out if anything happens, or if ythey are riding out on their own.
I always tell myself that the skills they are learning will make them safer, but sometimes accidents happen, no ones fault.
The bad feelings now are just the side effect of being a decent conscientious human being.I agree.
You gave that lad a wonderful chance to do something he loved. It was an accident and absolutely nothing to do with you.
I wish there were more teachers like you.
^this
While it must be upsetting to Convert to loose a school pupil, it must be worse for his parents and especially the van driver,who both must be sufering inmeasurable greif,perhaps visit the parents, and when school starts again organise a cycle event with an annual cup in memory of the young lad, so his memory is kept fresh.
DONT BLAME YOURSELF,YOU TAUGHT HIM THE SKILLS AND SHOWED INTREST IN HIM AND HIM IN YOU,AND THATS WHY HE TOOK UP CYCLING.
organise a cycle event with an annual cup in memory of the young lad
Or a charity ride in his name?
Sad news and my condolences to the poor family involved.
You did what was right and in no way are you to blame, please speak to someone.
you cared enough to give him the opportunity to do something he grew to love.
you care enough to now be distraught at this horrific accident.
you should talk to someone. start with your head teacher. there may be an occupational health arrangement that can sort counselling. might sound a bit ott, but it will help.
i too wish there were more teachers like you.