[Closed] Anyone had partner cheat and forgiven them

Pics, or it didn't happen

I say get her drunk again and set up a threesome! 8)

The extra angle to this muddies the water for me....

I say forgive and next time can i watch..

depends on how long they have been together, do they have a house / kids / pets etc etc.

I have had some spectacular errors of judgemnet when pissed!

Nope nope and nope. Together oh I dunno 2 years I guess.

I did. Few years later she did it again. Learnt my lesson that time
Some people don't have the 'think of others before yourself' gene

id say forget. from experience.

it being a woman, is irrelavant, its still cheating no matter what sex the other person is, as "cool" as it maybe to have a mrs who bats for both sides 🙄

There will always be a niggle in the back of the other persons mind, that unless your completely satisfied your partner is geuinely sorry and it was truely a one off mistake, will cause future issues. as mentioned above, i think there are alot of things to consider - family etc, however, if the partner was silly enough to make the mistake in the first place, she should be prepared to accept the consequences.

oh and to fit in with the stw massive, pics or gtfo as has been mentioned.

I've been there - forgiven and come to regret it. I won't go back there and it has taught me never to do it to someone else.

Rachel

[img] [/img]

(forget, btw)

I don't think some lickylezsecks can really constitute cheating. Never look a gift horse in the mouth. These potential situations don't come up that often in a lifetime. Besides, you can always kick her to the curb once you have all the photos and vids you need.

How did he find out, if she confessed then give her another chance.If not +1 fourbanger

'cos it was a woman I think I would find it easier to forgive.

Is this her way of dumping him?

Didn't you watch Friends? It'll all end in tears.

Didnt confess, she went home hammered and left her phone on floor with a msg open.

She says she'll do anything to stay together, so not trying to dump him. 3some may not be on the cards as he says the other bird isnt that fit, ok after 5 pints maybe, but nothing special.

I'm intrigued as to why several people on here seem to think it's fine because she slept with another woman??? Sleeping with someone else is still sleeping with someone else, you know - there's no difference I can see.

Rachel

To all those of you laughing because it was girl on girl I don't expect your missus would find it funny if you got pissed and bummed your best mate one night! Would you get forgiven?

I'm with Rachel - why is that different ? Do gay relationships not count ? If a bloke of mine slept with another bloke I think I would find that even worse...

(not "with" Rachel, I mean I agree with her)

I'm intrigued as to why several people on here seem to think it's fine because she slept with another woman??? Sleeping with someone else is still sleeping with someone else, you know - there's no difference I can see.

Rachel

If you were a hot dog vendor and had a regular customer you had developed a little daily banter with over the years you would be absolutely gutted to spot them buying a hot dog from another vendor just down the road. If however the customer was spotted in a kebab shop getting their daily portion you might be annoyed at the lack of loyalty and at missing out on your little chat but might be better able to understand that at least it was not someone elses hot dog and your vending trolley was just incapable doing kebabs and could appreciate the fact that sometimes a change is a good thing.

Or something like that - male minds are weird.

Er, so who is the kebab and who is the hot dog ??

I'm with Rachel - why is that different ?

Because there isn't the same threat to the mans masculinity that there would be if she cheated with another man. It's not a comment on gay relationships.

Love the hot dog and kebab analogies, Mr Freud would have a field day with convert 🙂

I agree with allthegear too.
BTW YGM rachel

I've been there - forgiven and come to regret it. I won't go back there and it has taught me never to do it to someone else.

this.
plus, slightly childish male fantasies aside, the gender of the 'other' partner would be irrelevant to me. it's still cheating.

it's the fault of porn, porn has made it socially acceptable for women to do this, and to experiment with this stuff more then men (with other men)

I am on a dating sight at the moment - where there seems to be a very high proportion of young women claiming to be Bi. I'm not assuming that they are not - but it certainly seems more acceptable to say you are now

Is that a badly packed kebab?

there isn't the same threat to the mans masculinity

Could be a pretty damning indictment though...

Hmm not so sure, sounds like teritorial issues to me. It's OK if another woman pees on one of your trees but another man is a threat to your property is that about the size of it ?

(with apologies for introducing more metaphors to an already confused thread)

I'm confused - where does that leave veggies??? 😀

I thought they were all homosexual anyway?

I don't know what I'd do but... if my wife had sex with another woman I don't think I'd touch her again. I wouldn't kick her out but there'd be no nookie. In my days of GFs I'd've acted opposite, I'd've been asking for more and can I please watch? Why the difference? She's my wife and she's mine and only mine. Otherwise it makes no sense to me, the whole marriage mess. GFs are a different kettle of fish, totally.
[b]Would your GF forgive you if she knew you were leaking another man's juices from your backside hole?[/b]

I have been a veggie for years, but recently I have succumbed to a couple of cracking steaks.

My mate's wife did this, they split and she is now living with the other woman (a mates also now ex wife).

My wife had an affair, I forgave her, she did it again (a few times), I tried to forgive it again - but it just eats away at you to the point that I eventually had to end things. You start living your life wondering not if but when it is going to happen again and things are never the same as they were.

In future I won't be so forgiving as the effect on my mental health was rather staggering (to be fair there were other things too, but that was one of the big ones!)

All this talk of food is making me hungry....mm hot dog or kebab. scrub that, hairychested has killed my appetite.

[b]"I'm intrigued as to why several people on here seem to think it's fine because she slept with another woman??? Sleeping with someone else is still sleeping with someone else, you know - there's no difference I can see.

Rachel"[/b]

Well Rachel, the difference is I find the thought of two girls licking each other in places too rude to mention rather exciting, where as I find the thought of my gf getting her back doors kicked in by another bloke a bit off. Yes, its still cheating, but one is good cheating which can be encouraged in my presence and the other is bad cheating which will not be tolerated. And yes, I do speak from a position of experience on the matter. The memories....
Do you need diagrams?

"tis a troll.

Cheating is cheating makes no difference that it was another girl.

I assume we're hard wired not to want other males shagging our females. My dog would certainly object to another dog shagging his bitch, so it's not a social convention. If another bitch got all steamy he'd try and shag both of them.

Two women clearly doesn't register on our primitive brains as a problem - they're not a threat. In fact it probably registers as an opportunity to add another female to the pack.

So, yeah, whatever. I don't object to the mrs playing tennis with other women. I'm obviously in touch with my primitive side.

emsz - you're not a grubby single male keyboard warrior are you?
DD - Stop ruining our fantasies... I mean just imagine a real life girlfriend that likes having fun with other gi... I'll be back in a bit..

The Southern Yeti - Member
emsz - you're not a grubby single male keyboard warrior are you?

LOL - dying to see the response...

fourbanger - that reads like there's some issues with women being equal human beings in there - like it doesn't matter 'cos it's not "proper"...

Rachel - don't worry your pretty little head about that fourbanger he clearly hasn't got a clue...

🙄

No, yeti I'm not.

It's still cheating.

ha ha - I'm not overly bothered - don't have time to worry about how other people's brains work - my own needs sorting first!!!

Rachel

My ex wife once asked if i'd mind if she slept with a lady friend of her's. I encouraged it for all the wrong reasons. She did the deed as i thought it would add something new and exciting to our own relationship. I didn't, but i wasn't too bothered as i'd agreed to it.

Then i suspected her to be seeing other men, challenged her about it and she made her excuses and i took the blame as i was giving her the attention she demanded.

So taking the blame i loosely forgave her and rode my bike more. She did this several times and in the end when i checked her phone after it beeped(she left it at home) i opened it and watched the video it was playing. A video that her lover had took whilst she was..well doing things to him...

Well i tried to forgive her as with her mind games she again blamed me..

Lesson learnt....NO FORGIVENESS not a bleeding change.

Whether it's same sex, with a dog.. it's totally unforgivable.

What if the dog has got real pretty eyes?

What if the woman cheats with a hot dog or kebab ??

... or a hot rabbit?

sharki man 🙁 fek.

Cheatings cheating.

Even if she was putting hula hoops on her nips, i'd see that as doing the dirty on me.

Blimmey i'm proper damaged goods.

Hot dog and Kebab at the same time.... now were talking.

#

gonefishin - Member

"I'm with Rachel - why is that different ?"

Because there isn't the same threat to the mans masculinity that there would be if she cheated with another man. It's not a comment on gay relationships.

I certainly feel its not the same. Seems odd to me but thats what I feel 😕

I doubt there really is any way of rationalising it. Hormones and territory I guess.

shocking story, sharki...

Sharki - hug?

No hula hoops involved. Not even a monster munch.

It does make me wonder, though... and this would need those that said it's "less of a cheat" to be shockingly honest...

Would they say that a relationship between two women (or two men) is less "valuable" than between a man and a woman?

Despite the probably high troll factor of the original post, and the subsequent predictable puerility regarding lesbians, there is an interesting idea here.

I was the guilty party, and I got forgiven, and the biggest lesson I learnt was not to judge people because you never can tell...

It's cheating, full stop. Same sex or opposite sex it doesn't really matter . If you are committed to someone you just don't do it. If this blokes girlfriend wants to do it with women when she drunk then she has no morals and next week will probably jump into bed with another bloke just as easily as she would with another woman and blame it on the drink. I'd forget the relationship because she clearly doesn't give a toot. Any of you chaps who think it's ok because it fits some of your fantasy's are deluded, it wasn't a consenting acting out of a fantasy, it was cheating, therefore it was wrong

If you aint satisfying her desires and she is going else where, male or female its time to end the relationship. Leopards dont change their spots, have known too many serial shagger mates and none of them end up happy or with their pension in tact or living in a house they own.

There is really only one issue here, the infidelity. I'd forgive (and have done) a one night stand, but an affair a la Sharki would be the end. Similarly, a pattern of one-night drunken shags would kill the relationship for me.

We all make mistakes, but we have to learn from them.

(And I disagree about the "not meeting her desires". It's rarely a matter of not getting enough at home, it's a matter of being greedy. Who eats a kebab when sober?)

Would they say that a relationship between two women (or two men) is less "valuable" than between a man and a woman?

Another woman though? No evolutionary threat so no reason to evolve with any hard-wired violent objections.

So at a basic level two women together can't register a negative emotional response. At worst it's irrelevant. It's a crap evolutionary strategy too (another reason for it to not be a threat).

Two blokes together has all kind of pack dynamic/dominance stuff going on. No woman wants a low ranking male as a partner, so if they're getting mounted by another male that's not an option. Evolution again. The dominant male is the one to have.

I'm sure we can all rationalise about it, but that's overriding our basic instincts.

Hairychested - Member

Would your GF forgive you if she knew you were leaking another man's juices from your backside hole?

Bloody hell ... that's too graphic ...

I just lol'd at 5thElfant and 'mounted'. Always makes me chuckle, I am very childish though. 🙂

allthegear - Member

It does make me wonder, though... and this would need those that said it's "less of a cheat" to be shockingly honest...

Would they say that a relationship between two women (or two men) is less "valuable" than between a man and a woman?

No

I can't really understand it but is clear it homo relationships can be as deep loving and valuable relationship as hetero.

Don't alter the fact I see another women as less of a threat 😕

I can only point to hardwiring / evolutionary instinct, hormones whatever. Its not really the rational bit of the mind

that's fine - there's no right or wrong answer!

I want give Sharki a hug.

Interesting. The responses from the men and women on this

true emsz - I really hadn't realised how guy's brains work. (yes, I know that sounds daft)

Rachel

The kebab hot dog analogy was genius!

I have to say it does seem to be a penetraty male dominance genetic conditioning thing

Male penetration is just wrong in a relationship involving a male, lady fiddling however is sometimes mildly wrong sometimes videod

[i]I want give Sharki a hug. [/i]

Me too. Do you think my wife will mind?

Me neither Rachel, LOL

Instinctively I agree with 5th on this, I suppose it's because you've not been usurped as top dog.

Rationally I understand what you girls are saying. Ultimately you're right.

i must have a lasses brain.
or i'm a puff. apparently. although my girlfriend would argue that's not true...

[i] I really hadn't realised how guy's brains work.[/i]

They're very simple things Rach! 😉
Cheating is cheating, doesn't matter who it's with.

Strangely, this topic cropped up at the works Xmas party and one woman (late-forties) didn't say outright that it was fine but basically implied that if she wasn't getting "satisfaction" (as she put it) she'd have no hesitation in going elsewhere for it. I disagreed, I think the underlying problems of the relationship need addressing first before either party goes off with someone else but maybe I've just got an old-fashioned sense of loyalty...

ditch them

Mmmmmm..Luvin the huggin'

I rather liked the idea of 'succumbing to a couple of cracking steaks', I could imagine doing that too.

on the subject of cheating....i wonder who has been cheated on but then when onto do it themselves?

Aleigh.
I could never get the hula hoops to stay put. Not so much through guilt, just small nipples.

You can get some tablets for that...