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Working on a trade counter for a tool hire company.
On there from 7.00 until 5.00 and told that I couldn't leave it unattended.
Then told that there was to be no food or drink while on the counter.
Final straw was the useless manager telling me I needed to smarten up my appearance.
I was wearing the company's polo shirt and cargo trousers, he was wearing shell suit bottoms and a football shirt.
I lasted a week.
He was most surprised when I turned up and handed him the keys back to the company vehicle on the next Monday morning.
All kinds of threats about not getting paid and never working in the tool hire trade again.
I started a new job on the next Monday for another hire company who bought the first place out a couple of months later and binned him off.
Not me, but a friend had a summer job screwing the caps on to bottles of turpentine. Sacked it when her skin started to fall off.
Yep. Worked for a company for about 9 years in a role I was bloody good at. They decided to change my role but not offer the required training. Talk about square pegs in round holes. 🙄
Second was a groundsman job with the local council. They didn’t mention day one would involve opening up a double grave for the 2nd occupant…
😮
What was it like?
I also had to do that once many years ago while also working for local council. It was one on top of the other. Stopped digging when I got to the coffin lid which by this time had caved in. Thankfully couldn't see inside!
Worst job was working in a local wood components factory, spending most days hand sanding chopping boards. Boring comes no where near. Used to f*ck about and play pranks at every opportunity to relieve boredom. Thankfully I got fired.
My Sunday paper round when I was 14, £2.50 just wasn’t worth getting up at 6am on a Sunday in the dark and pissing rain to do the longest of the local rounds that involved walking a mile or so out into the countryside on unlit back roads
I lasted 4 weeks…
Went along for an ‘orientation/interview’ at an implausibly vague media-related job in Leeds promising great opportunities and lots of money. Absolutely none-the-wiser after an hour of waffle, then they bundled us into some cars and took us down to Denby Dale and released us into the suburbs to knock on doors and flog restaurant loyalty cards. Turned out to be some kind of pyramid sales thing where you get a slice of the commission earned by those you recruit. I don’t know if I’d have been better at it had they actually prepared me properly, or if it hadn’t been pissing it down, but I quickly decided it wasn’t for me. Unfortunately I had to see the day out as I had no means of getting back to Leeds.
Yip, been there.
1999. Had left Uni with no idea what to do. Was working for my then girlfriend's dad as a labourer for his roofing company. He turned up on site one day and started teaching me the correct way to put rubbish in a skip, which made me realise I needed a proper career pronto.
Scoured the newspapers and saw a job for a "Trainee Marketing Executive". Went for an interview in Glasgow city centre. Trendy office, more like an MTV studio. Slick boss man waxing lyrical about the global sales conferences in Miami etc for their top sales people. Invited along the next day for a trip out into the field with one of their top people.
I turn up the next day dressed like Patrick Bateman to be met by some barely literate ned in a badly fitting cheap suit. We were given our bus fare and sent out to some far flung Glasgow council estate to chap doors and try and get people to sign up to monthly direct debit charity donations.
I lasted 3 hours trudging around before I told the guy I was going and jumped on the nearest bus with no idea where it took me, I just had to get away.
They didn’t mention day one would involve opening up a double grave for the 2nd occupant…
ha. When I was temping round London I spent a couple of days filing documents in Colindale. I say days, felt like years and they're probably still going on somewhere. I'd rather open a grave with live zombies in it. I say live. Animated, I guess.
I think I've not actually been shite at any job I've done, and was actually pretty good at building labouring, industrial cleaning etc, though there was one role, thinking about it where I got into doing/publishing research to get off the actual front line, where I'd bugger all to offer.
And thinking harder, when I was working at Headingley cricket and rugby ground rebuilding a bit of the stand, we had to do a bunch of other stuff on match days, including once supervising the car park. Not my skillset, as I don't get on with the public, and they don't like me (I may be a bit more relaxed these days but still). There was one other old guy doing it who basically explained we need to keep a few slots back, so that when the carpark was 'full' we'd take bribes to fit people in. Taking literal in some cases backhanders from entitled yorkshiremen was so far out of my comfort zone (I'd manage now, obv) I just flat refused to do it. Still got a £50 cut at the end of the day (a fair bit in the early 80s for doing nowt) as the old guy was worried I might tell. So yeah, more a Johnsonian approach, and abject would probably cover it
Had a bunch of them when I was a student.
Took a typing test and scored well so applied for a bunch of office jobs and got offered... early shifts at a factory making 19" racks. Lasted a week before I broke. Ended up getting a job at my local for the extra cash I needed.
I actually quite enjoyed working as a KP in my local at home when I was younger, same with the Highways Inspector job, but the low point was the double glazing sales job. You really, REALLY had to leave any morals you had about selling truthfully by the door at the place where I was. I lasted a day on the phones before I got told to deliver leaflets house to house.
Oh christ, the car parks. I did them at festivals for several summers. Was absolutely never persuaded to give free entry and definitely never over charged ignorant gits. When you're drying your clothes using generator exhaust fumes at 5am it's definitely time to get a better job.
Never actually got the job but went to an "audition" for bar work once. It was every bit as awful as it sounded, no doubt I'd never have lasted 5 minutes in the place.
I spent four weeks sorting library cards at the LSE after I finished my finals. I knew it was only until degree results were released. It was grim. But I spent the summer selling deckchairs and sweeping the promenade. Which was not grim.
Someone at work apparently sent an email of a confidential document to their personal email address and then to a friend. Apparently they’ve retained their position after a short sojourn. So I don’t worry about imposter syndrome any more 🤣
I've got another: casual stage crew at what was then Leeds Playhouse. Actually had to dress up as a Russian peasant and clap my hands during cossack dancing to cover one of the changes. Talk about know your place...
Went along for an ‘orientation/interview’ at an implausibly vague media-related job in Leeds promising great opportunities and lots of money. Absolutely none-the-wiser after an hour of waffle, then they bundled us into some cars and took us down to Denby Dale and released us into the suburbs to knock on doors and flog restaurant loyalty cards. Turned out to be some kind of pyramid sales thing where you get a slice of the commission earned by those you recruit. I don’t know if I’d have been better at it had they actually prepared me properly, or if it hadn’t been pissing it down, but I quickly decided it wasn’t for me. Unfortunately I had to see the day out as I had no means of getting back to Leeds.
Crikey, I'd forgotten about that. Experienced the same thing in Nottingham when looking for my first job out of Uni.
The motivational meetings were cult like.
Didn't walk off, but mutually agreed to part ways after just over a month.
Should have been a dream job, ski tech for a little hotel/chalet business in the french alps. Was told they rent out 5-20 pairs of skis a week, so might be a few other light, and I double checked that, "light jobs" was quoted in about 3 emails/documents about the role before starting, and the boss said he would expect me to be able to ski on my own time 9:30am till 4:30pm 4days a week plus a full day off, with "busier weekends"...
Also was told he didn't rent snowboards out AT ALL so no problem not knowing them.
First 2 weeks I spent repairing a fleet of mostly 10-15 year old skis that I would expect to pickup for a few quid off ebay in the UK, with the "premium" skis being 4-6 year old all mountain skis that seemed to have seen all the mountain including all the rocks. Luckily at this time the lifts were barely open with almost no snow on the ground so wasn't too upset and just felt a bit pissed off at the old tech leaving the kit so crap.
Start of the 3rd week we got a huge dump of snow, this is where the boss happened to announce the company was struggling financially so he'd taken on a few snow clearing contracts and us, as the staff would have to help fulfil these. Previous couple of years they'd never had more than 4inches in once go, never twice in the same week, previous years the staff had been 70% large/strong guys. This week we had 8 inches at least 2 nights, and almost that most other days. This year he'd hired a load of very petite girls and I was one of three guys, and at 75kg/6" the largest. His idea of snow clearing equipment was about 15 crappy plastic shovels and two metal ones. The contracts also stated the paths had to be clear by 9am or no pay. (and a fine if missed two days in a row)
This combined with the fact the vans we had were awful in the snow meant getting up at 5am any snowy day, doing a lap of the chalets clearing worst of the snow (25km loop driving) then repeating the loop at 8:00am to get the last bits if snow still falling. It also turned out 5-20 pairs of skis a week was a bit of an understatement, doing 140 pairs in 2 weeks over christmas, most of the time not getting any info on the people until the either walked through the door, or I was expected to do the fitting in their chalet.
Some other fun bits that really tipped the balance;
- Ended up working the bar 3-4 nights a week. I was never meant to run the bar, evenings were for me to prep skis
- One night, got to 1am and the boss handed me some keys as said - you don't drink so you need to drop these guys in Tignes. It was a blizzard, 40km loop, got back at 3:30am after digging the van out (solo) in a blizzard
- Days off - got one in weeks as other staff were "ill" (hungover)
Final straw was being pulled into his office after he'd received a 1 star trip advisor review, where I personally got named. The reason I got named was "lack of prep for knowing which skis to bring and not knowing how to fit the snowboards" - we were out of stock and I didn't have any in the lady's size skis (or boots) left, plus I'd been handed 3 boards he'd rented down in BSM to fit as our own stock (he'd added our own stickers over the top).
I said I don't care, he either changes my job to the one promised or I walk. He paid for my train and flight home and allowed me to keep the kit I'd bought on salary sacrifice - total pay for my 7 week ordeal, 2 pairs of skis, full backcountry touring kit and a set of touring ski boots.
I think I might have been an abject failure at my last job. I still don't know. I was there for two and a half years, never had a job description, never had any roles or responsibilities nor ever sat in any organisation structure diagram thing. No reports above or below. Had to sort all my IT out myself the first day, then spent the next month trying to find out what I was supposed to be doing and for whom. And then doing LOTS of hiding and open university type stuff. And stressing. The redundancy was an actual relief.
I still don’t know. I was there for two and a half years, never had a job description, never had any roles or responsibilities nor ever sat in any organisation structure diagram thing. No reports above or below.
I've never worked at a large corporate company before. how does this even happen?
I’ve never worked at a large corporate company before. how does this even happen?
There was a guy at my work that did that, seemingly just walked about with folders but never actually did anything. Probably one of the more benign wage thieves in there tbh.
I’ve never worked at a large corporate company before. how does this even happen?
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/most-people-dont-know-what-their-job-is-201003182571
There's a LOT of dead wood in corporate environments!
And where does one find a job like this? Asking for a friend..
There's a lot in here that definitely isn't people being abject failures at jobs. Being lied to, recruited to impossible jobs, having horrific colleagues/managers or the company imploding (or in the process of doing so) are not personal failures!
I'm going to say that I'd assess this on what would I refuse to hire or pay me to do, in hindsight. Pretty sure it is my student years as a bike shop employee. I could build and PDI bikes from boxes. My remit should have very much stopped there.
I will work on my own bikes - but as I'm now very much aware, I'm fine with my bikes held together with tape, and most bike shops customers aren't.
I didn't last long at the golf range. Mid 1970s. Pay was something like 25p per hour which wouldn't even buy a pint. Not that I was old enough to drink.
Job involved going out on the range wearing a sandwich board for protection whilst picking up golf balls. It felt very much like you were a moving target for the golfers.
My Sunday paper round when I was 14, £2.50 just wasn’t worth getting up at 6am on a Sunday in the dark and pissing rain to do the longest of the local rounds that involved walking a mile or so out into the countryside on unlit back roads
My first job was delivering free papers. Guessing i was about 12, and I had to do the biggest load of papers you could imagine. I think it took three runs and was too heavy to do by bike, so i had to walk. It was the poshest houses in town, plenty of 100m driveways, so I worked out some shortcuts through people's gardens - there was even a bit of pre-Parkour thrown in. I'd throw the bag of papers over a gap between two houses on a hill and then wedge myself between the walls and climb down. Saved me two decent length driveways.
But it paid about four quid a week for hours of work. Then i discovered a mate that had a much easier round but was also much lazier. He would take his papers under a bridge and burn them. I joined in until we got found out and sacked.
Working "on the door" of UCL Union in Bloomsbury was a bit awkward. I played for the football team so figured a Friday night shift would keep me sober for match days. Probably hadn't reckoned with the FOMO of seeing all my mates having a good time in bars that were full well past their fire insurance capacity while I had to stand by bored out of my skull. It also included weird things like checking the gents at Bloomsbury Theatre for erm ... multiple occupant cubicles. Then there was the fun of getting a night bus (whilst sober!) back to Hackney and walking to Homerton without getting mugged.
I guess i wasn't terrible at those jobs, but it's quite funny looking back at them.
I came across plenty utterly incompetent d1ckhaeds at my previous employer - all senior and paid 6-figues a year, yet totally ****ed over a previously profitable and successful Co, when they marched in as part of a reverse takeover, ousted previous good managers, imposed a load of bollox that didn't work for the industry sector we were in, couldn't possibly accept their way was shiiiite, and successfully took a Co that had grown and been increasingly profitable in the £millions every single year for 25 years, and turned it into a multi-million £ loss maker in 12 months. Then exceeded that cluster the following year. Trashed the previous successful model and ethos, demoralised absolutely everyone there, wielded the axe to people's heads wirhout any concern except for themselves , then walked away and let a 2nd bunch of ****whits do the same again.
They needed tieing to a stake and burning. Slowly and really painfully. I'd happily bring extra petrol.
I'm good at what I do in a scarce-skills area, and experienced enough to be able to leave, taking my pension and immediately joining a direct competitor. Many customers followed me directly there.
But how I despise the damage they did to some many less fortunate than I, particularly those in the early stages of their careers who got stabbed in the back by them.
Worked for a small pharma' company that got bought out by our partnering American company which were quoted on Nasdaq.
We were their only product.
Made everyone redundant on the day I signed for my house, so they could "relocate" to a new office in Oxford.
If we stayed for 5 months we would get a 3-month bonus and more share options.
We had nothing to do and no authority.
Had to sit at a desk for 8 hours a day.
All I did was build an automatic tracker for the share options - every time the share price bubbled up we knew to sell them.
Paid off half my new mortgage by selling my shares and got blamed in the end of year report for driving down the share price.
Then we all went and worked for our main rival developing a better product.