We've been looking in to care options for my Nan. She's recently gone through a bit of bad health which had limited her mobility somewhat. During this time she had a private carer attend twice a day to prep meals, tidy up etc etc, which mounted up to a fair bit of money.
She currently lives on her own in a big bungalow an hour away from the rest of our family. She has mentioned for sometime moving in to one of those Churchill type apartments. We have looked in to this for her and even though she can afford it the cost has put her off.
She's now happy to stay where she is, however the loneliness is getting her down, her recent illness has affected her confidence and she doesn't want to go out. Her neighbours do pop by and do odd jobs for her. I try and get over a couple of times a week but is hard with the shifts I work and my Dad who has just recently retired goes over twice a week too.
Now I've had enough of my job, I feel like just jacking it in as it's making me feel ill. This combined with my Nan's health has made me think about moving in with her and becoming a full time carer for her.
So, does anyone do this? What do I need to do? Do I have to ensure I have official carer training ? What about carer's allowances? Even though you're family do you treat the situation like a business charge for your services? Anything else I need to consider?
Just thinking things through first, if I do think it'd be a good option for the both of us then I'll discuss it with her and the rest of the family.
Thanks
Sounds like a good idea in principle. The biggest challenge will be persuading other family members that you are not taking advantage.
You never really know someone till you live with them, be wary.
Your gran has her life , you have yours , complete with freinds etc, and both sides may not mix.
Food, meals, cleaning, driving,shopping,bikes in kitchen,and lots more stuff.
Visiting is totally different than libving in, stay away from the living in.
Yeah, shouldn't be an issue. We're a small family (on this side) and my Dad has full access to her banks/bills/will etc so everything will be transparent
Don't need any official training
Is she in receipt of DLA at medium rate care or above or attendance allowance?
If so, off the top of my head, you can claim income support and carers allowance, coming to about £108 per week, I think she may also be able to pay you a bit as well, instead of the care she's currently paying for.
My Nan doesn't really have a life at the moment. Her friends are the neighbours who pop by now and then and apart from trips to the hospital she doesn't go out.
If she had someone caring for her full time it'll enable her to socialise more and give her confidence which is what I feel she needs the most.
Her place is big enough that I'd certainly get my own space, so me having my own life is still possible
Your gran has her life
If you read the OP, she doesn't, and that is part of the problem.
Very noble of you. I don't know your situation or career but what will happen when she either passes away or needs to go into full time care? That will potentially leave you homeless and jobless unless you have a career that you can quickly pick up again and some savings to get a place.
If that did happen suddenly and I couldn't rent or find another job straight away then I do have a partner/family that can help out with a place to stay
Houns, firstly well done for caring about her to think of being a carer (sounds a bit silly now I've typed it)
Secondly make sure you have a fall back support system in place in case you fall ill.
I'm my wife's primary carer (she has SP MS) it’s a slightly different dynamic in terms of relationship to you as we used to be husband & wife, sadly it does change your relationship when someone needs total care.
I still work full time as I think being her fulltime carer would destroy me. So in the week we have carers organised to do a 90 minute get up call in the morning, a 60 minute lunch call and 2 15 minute call in the afternoon.
Apart from that I do everything else, it’s not easy and sometimes you feel isolated from a lot of "normal stuff"
I presume she has been assessed for what DLA payments she is entitled to, my wife has direct payments into a separate account which I pay for the care from.
Also get as many adaptions to the house as you can to allow your gran to retain as much of her own mobility as she can manage some you can get through social services others you have to pay for.
We now have a through floor lift as the stair lift involved me lifting her on an off it and precluded anyone else helping her, that did cost us £8000 though.
I think my email is in my profile if you want any advice
Jamie - Freeloader!
Your gran has her life
If you read the OP, she doesn't, and that is part of the problem
of course i read the O/P thats how i formulated my responce, also using the reasoning i used when my elderley aunt was taken ill and required care, and we thought of moving in with her to support her, we decided all together it wasnt a good idea due to work commitments and lack of privacy personal space and the big age difference reflected in life chioices.
But then again some families may well fit in an extended family criteria, and it may well work, but possibly in the o/p position leaving a job because he didnt like it and becoming a full time carer on the bounce, may be seen by some relatives as him lining their own nest and may well lead to poor relationships.
I have nothing useful to add, only chapeau OP.