My excuse to myself is a high pressure job & caring for a very ill wife, I know this is rubbish as others do it without the prop of drink but sometimes it feels like the only thing that blots out the pain.
A lot of alcohol misuse is self-medicinal. You could see your doctor to get some anti-anxiety treatment, whether drugs or therapy/CBT.
I drink through a combination of stress and boredom. I can't imagine my life without alcohol, as it's a social release, but I've usually been able to break up the drinking after getting through difficult periods.
I'm not a great fan of these "Give it up" for a month initiatives. I think reducing intake over a longer period of time is the best approach rather than complete tee-total.
You have just described me when I was drinking - but then again I had the tel number for the AA on my desk at work - I gave up for 6 weeks initially before going on holiday (we had just had a huge weekend and I felt crap).But, she cannot stick at just one drink and finds it difficult to take a night of unless she is working.
SO from a personal point of view :
1, don't give up forever, give up for this week, if you relapse you haven't destroyed everything, only this weeks resolution.
2, if you relapse, there is always tomorrow
3, drive, then you don't need to explain yourself.
4, it does get easier,
5, drunk people are muppets - learn to quietly giggle at their antics - there will always be sober people at parties, weddings, etc esp once your group start having kids (no idea how old you are)
Good luck, she can do it
MrOvershoot - good luck going forward, be selfish for once
We rarely have any booze in the house and I never drink during the week. It helps because Mrs t is not a home drinker, so I'd be partaking on my own. I would say that if you can stay off the drink in front of your partner, that will be a massive help for her.
Mr Overshoot - sounds to me like you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. A lot of people feel out of control of their lives, a lot of the time, so don't be down on yourself. I've found I'm a lot more positive from not drinking/cutting down, but then I don't have a sick wife to care for, which must be hard.
Thanks for all the support chaps (that's a non sexist chaps) I am taking each day at a time at the moment & tomorrow will be a very big test as I'm taking my step mother out tomorrow for a drive(I don't drink & drive drive BTW) and a pub lunch!
Think Hyacinthia Bucket meets a demanding toddler!
Leaving my wife in her parents hands (although fairly capable) will have me on edge.
I would like to stop drinking but seem to struggle. My wife moans if I bulk by beer/wine. I do this to save money rather than to drink more. (we go through a bottle of wine a week). However, I suggested I stop and started to throw out all the spirits in the house. Including some Serbian Rakija. Wife goes mental. "Don't throw that away, people gave it to you!"
How on earth does that help me!
Like the sound of cordials and fizzy water. I heard a food programme on Radio4. There are some posh cordials now. Companies who put as much effort into non-alcoholic drinks as others do into alcohol. I will investigate.
OP - maybe get your wife to have a chat with her GP about known ways to help - it's hardly an unknown issue after all.
I am not an expert but social surroundings can make a real difference when you want to change negative behaviours so what you do can be a real support or undermine her re your own drinking. Have you considered quitting with her? I know you say you have no plan to, but why not? Especially if it helps her.
I find it hard not to lay into the chocolate and biscuits when I'm stressed. Best solution I've found is to just avoid letting it in the house - avoid that aisle in the supermarket...
Good luck
A bottle of wine a week woodlikesbeer - ???
If I drink 1 a night that's a dry night for me. I'm not proud of it but that slightly fuzzy feeling helps me forget my wife's awful existence.
Tonight I tried to speak with her god mother whose husband is in hospital with a shed load of problems & I just broke down saying "I'm so sorry" and then choked up crying.
I know I need help but its so hard admitting you can't cope to those close to you, who see you as a pillar of strength while inside I'm dying.
Hang in there, MrO.
Not yet met an alcoholic drink that doesn't taste vile. Beer, spirits, wine etc. Even some cocktails which I like taste much nicer without alcohol in them.
And yes, as a consequence I don't drink.
Gimme a nice glass of fruit juice or a can of coke anyday.
Mr OS- sounds like what you need is some form of carer's support.
Have you looked into this?
There are organisations out there who offer help to carers who are undergoing stress etc- Carers UK and Carers Trust being the main 2.
Gosh this got awfy serious.
For my small contribution - I think that alcohol is an easy target in so many ways, and alcohol dependence an easy diagnosis. People use it to self-medicate (easy to obtain) and cover up other problems, they think that stopping drinking will cure them but all the other stuff is still there.
It is not a binary on/off switch.
Hang in there OS.
2 days in from my admission I'm still having a drink or 6.
But not in secrete & this evening I was the sensible one when my mothers partner had had a little to much wine & was talking fluent BS I suggested he should go to bed as he was tired.
Once I'm home it will take some serious effort from me but I think a few other things in my life also need sorting out along with the drinking, but the other things will hopefully take away the compulsion to drink.
woodlikesbeer - MemberLike the sound of cordials and fizzy water. I heard a food programme on Radio4. There are some posh cordials now. Companies who put as much effort into non-alcoholic drinks as others do into alcohol. I will investigate.
Is this it?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b063yqpy
From an all or nothing point, I just stopped during my first year at uni'. Key indicators were a rather embarrassing situation and an alcohol induced illness.
Hardest part was friends that I went out with, particularly as I tended to put a lot away, think I may still have campus record for a yard of Guinness. Gradually people get the idea and make less of an issue.
Anyway, just stopped, if you are all or nothing, the desire for either is just as strong. That was quite a while ago now and there were points where a drink may have been nice, but not fussed any more, not seen anything that appeals since.
Probably eat more chocolate, but that could just have been a driving job and continually standing next to the sweets queuing in petrol stations.
I became tee total 11 years ago yesterday. I stopped overnight and I was quite a heavy drinker when I drank which was most weekends.
It's a habit and it takes a few weeks to break. I find low/no alcohol alternatives OK for a couple of drinks then I have to move on to bubbly water, lemonade etc. I can't stick one drink all night. I also find, if I'm not in the mood, I'm best off avoiding whatever function we're due at as I can't 'work my way' into it with alcohol. All the xmas/new year work dos are a good example.
The best bit is watching people rolling around whilst regaling you with the same tale again and them then feeling dreadful next day whilst you're chipper and off for a run/ride etc. Remind her of the calories saved as well (or traded in for nice nosh). There is an upside 🙂
Wow, serious stuff in here.
Myself & MsD are what you would class as classic binge drinkers.
We don't touch alcohol Sunday through Thursday, but come Friday & Saturday we do tend to drink too much, it used to be a bottle of wine each plus a couple of beers per night but its been reduced to a bottle between us now. Unfortunately we have a tendency to cocktails and those are lethal. Alcohol really affects my sleep so I'm staying off it for a while, haven't had a drink since weds night - not even NYE.
We still have loads of booze in after Xmas so whilst midweek isn't a problem, next weekend may be.
Good luck to you all.
Well I saw the new year in with a drink, Nothing NYD, 1 beer yesterday & a bottle of wine over the day today.
Bought lots of soft drinks today so going to give it a crack one day at a time. There is no alcohol in the house so unless I buy any tomorrow on the weekly shop it will remain so.
All the rest of the things in my life that are probably causing the drinking are going to take a lot of effort to sort out, but they definitely won't get sorted out if I'm pissed will they.
Good work! Keep it up and if you do have a lapse remember that's not a failure! It's a lapse. Good luck with it!
Work out how much money you are saving by not drinking, and then use that money to get yourself a treat which you wouldn't ordinarily justify.
New bike or something- a goal to aim for if you keep off it for long enough.
Slip her some tetraethylthiuram disulfide.
[url= http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1520449/pdf/califmed00242-0009.pdf ]Technical explanation here[/url]
Only drawback is that the treatment for the side effects of tetraethylthiuram disulfide is benzodiazepine.
Strength for today MrOvershoot. and what rt60 says
Erdinger Alkoholfrei almost helps you feel like your having a beer.
keep going MrOS .. be objective and work through it!
Top effort Mr Overshoot! Take it a day at a time and be proud of what you're achieving.
I'm post Xmas holidays an in my head I'm quitting. Not a big drinker but when I go out its usually a big one, 12 hours or so. Most of it I don't remember.
The only drink I really enjoy is a couple of cold bottles before a meal. But because it's in the house a couple can turn into 6+, but it if it's not there it's not a miss.
Lost a few old mates over the last few years to alcohol (mid 40's) and the sad reality is there's a few more to go over the next few years.
A few of these sound familiar.
For me, I just can't handle hangovers anymore, for a whole day I'm wiped out. Decided as I get on, I may not have so many left....can't be wasting them on feeling like poo.
With most things in my life, I'm on, or off. Same with booze, if it's there, I'll drink it, problem is your body gets used to it....also, I have big gulps. I was out with a few lads from work and I constantly noticed I'd be close to the end whilst they still had 3/4 left...can't be standing there empty handed so you get another one in....soon adds up.
I've been thinking about it for a while, decided I'm never really going to keep it in check....the devil in me always gets carried away after the first few, so decided to try and knock it on the head. Fine when I'm at home, in fact I sleep bloody wonderfully, think it will be a bit tough when the lads head out for a few cold ones after work...still, can join to be social for a quick coke or something and then head off early.
Will miss a glass of good wine with meals, but the ups have to out weight the downs.
Next visit back to the UK and being in a pub with proper brown beer will also be a bit tough...still, when needs must!!
I went shopping and bought nothing alcoholic just more soft drinks, missed not having a glass of wine while cooking 🙁
Tonight I've been too bloody busy taking crimbo decorations down and re packaging that bloody Titus Rockstar frame back up to go back to O-O to really notice.
As I have to be up extra early to take the wife to hospital for her 3 monthly eye injections (horrible) no drink is probably a good thing.
I'm trying to drink diet stuff as I don't want to replace empty alcohol calories with sugary calories, but I can't stand the aftertaste of artificial sweeteners.
I tried to look for non alcoholic beers but the only ones I could find were larger types and I'm not a larger drinker.
Any suggestions?
The Eridinger Alkolfri is great as stated earier, it a wheat beer.
Doesn't taste like real beer but its pleasant to drink but didn't taste like wee either unlike alcohol free becks. Plus its rich in vitamins and isotonic so you can use it as a recovery drink
[url= http://www.erdinger-alkoholfrei.co.uk/en/alkoholfrei-uk-highlights.html ]erdinger[/url]
Bavaria WIT is pleasant. Normail alcohol free bavaria is boggin though. There are some german ones that i picked up but can't remember its name - i'll have a dig for the name.
Edit - http://www.alcoholfree.co.uk/maisels-weisse-alcoholfree-wheat-beer-500ml-p-350.html?cPath=2_65_12&osCsid=d7623db4e5364292e4ae5ccdabcd8987 found it!
Have a swatch at this:
http://www.alcoholfree.co.uk/alcoholfree-beers-c-2_65_12.html
I'm not going to be joining her but will support her any way I can
errrr...
maybe you giving up, even if it's only for a month or so would at least be supportive?
I had a look for the Eridinger Alkolfri in our local Sainsburys but they only had the full fat one.
Thanks for that steveoath something to browse over later
Second on the Erdinger its very quaffable - still has some calories though
Well Mrs Danny hasn't had a drink since Christmas day, me since 27th Dec.
To be far so far it's been relatively easy as we're just not thinking about it. I was in one of my favourite cafe bars yesterday though with some good real ale on but I managed to resist.
Already we're both sleeping better and generally feeling a bit healthier. Just hope we can both keep it up.
Already had friends asking if we're mad for doing it!
I am not going for tea-total but rather a noticeable reduction in the number of days I drink.
The idea being that if I have a couple of beers my determination gets washed away and I have a few more. If I don't have the first beer then I avoid the second etc.
So far I have been dry every night except last Sunday where I permitted myself a couple of beers in the sauna and then four more spread over the evening.
That means 6 beers in 5 nights rather than most nights. Alcohol helps me dull reality so I don't care how boring it really is so the main issue is the boredom and realizing how crap TV is.
On the bright side I seem to have lost 3lbs in 5 days which is good.
I've only ever given up booze for lent (it was probably worth it at the time - I was a student and hadn't realised I had a constant hangover until this point).
That said, if I've just done a load of exercise/hard physical work, I always try and rehydrate properly before I hit the booze - having nice non-alcoholic drinks helps with this, and I would imagine will help with cutting back/eliminating booze altogether (I still used to go out when I gave up the drink as a student, just would drink juice/coke).
2 points:
1. Alcoholfrei Erdinger has many fewer calories than alcoholic beer or wine, so don't worry about the calories. It's much better for you than a sugary drink or alcohol.
2. Try to substitute a meaningful activity for a night on the drink. E.g. a night ride instead of a bottle of wine.
alaslas - Member
Try to substitute a meaningful activity for a night on the drink. E.g. a night ride instead of a bottle of wine.
This has been a bonus, last night apart from taking the decorations down & 45 minutes on the spinning bike, I also sorted out the house insurance covering all my bikes for their full value & saving £500 at the same time 😀
accupressure worked for me. Like flicking a switch.
A quick Google of "accupressure" doesn't seem to link it to cutting out drinking. Can you explain how it helped?
Coke Life tastes pretty good, about a halfway house between the sugary sludge that is full fat and watery nonsense that is diet.
Its how i experienced it i was trying to cut out drinking, years ago, was still craving it then went for acupressure treatment and stopped craving To be precise it was a Japanese Seitai practitioner using pressure points. Perhaps a search for acupressure and addiction would yield something more
Second the post about LA beer still has alot of calories. Lose some of the benefits of stopping drinking.
Also having an answer ready to explain why you dont like to drink any more is helpfull. I usually say i used to enjoy it alot but now it just makes me feel rough.
Keep it up mr overshoot!
AF Beer tends to have roughly 20cal per 100ml, which is better than most pints.
Luckily for me the calories have never been an issue.
For reference: Erdinger AF= 125 kcal per 500 mls. Apple juice= c. 250 kcal.
