[Closed] Anxiety and Depression

It's work (I'm a teacher) that is making me feel like this, knowing the stuff I've got to do for Monday.

Why do you feel you can't talk to your boss? I'm a head of dept, and I'd be worried of one of my dept couldn't come and chat with me about something like this.

Is there a neutral person in school that you could talk to? There's normally someone in charge of well-being, or one of the SLT who is more sympathetic.

Teaching can be quite anxiety inducing. I've had many horrible Sunday evenings dreading the week to come. But you can always guarantee that the lesson will end and that the kids will go on their merry way.

What specifics do you think about teaching that make you anxious? Is it the work load, the marking, the little dears themselves? These are all manageable, but you really need to talk to someone at the school. They have a responsibility to make sure you are healthy and happy in your job. Currently sounds like you are neither.

ADs might help, they do swing the balance for me.

But they can take away the motivation/ability to actually work on the issues, by CBT or whatever.

No offence CSW but I'd not take his reply as fact for you, this stuff is hugely personal.

Until l walked away from teaching two years ago I had no idea what a negatinve effect the job was having on my health. I was made redundant so the decision was out of my hands and I'm guessing that If I hadn't I would still be putting myself through it regardless. Life is way too short to do something if your health is suffering as a result. Although our household income has been reduced, the quality of life for me and my family far outweighs the money.

Is there a neutral person in school that you could talk to? There's normally someone in charge of well-being, or one of the SLT who is more sympathetic.

Hi,
Where to start without rambling on too much...
I've had numerous episodes of depression and anxiety and in the past have tried various antidepressants. Fluoxetine used to work well for me. It felt like the sun had come out from behind a cloud and I would take it every few years for 7 months or so. A few years ago for some reason that no one has been able to explain, I stopped being able to tolerate antidepressants.
After a 2.5-year run of severe depression and no meds, I was assigned to counselling on the NHS through IAPT (Improved access to psychological therapies). Had a brilliant counsellor for 12 sessions, but have been down since they stopped and am trying to get some more.
I can't advise you as such, but it might be good to talk about your options with the doctor. If you are offered counselling and think it might help, I can highly recommend it.

English teachers are needed in nearly all schools, change jobs and change your environment.

Go for a ride with mates is what I do every Sunday for exactly your reasons.

Hesitant to reply to this as I normally avoid these threads but perhaps I have something to add that could help. I think this sort of thing is really quite common, many on here seem to be affected in one way or another judging by the responses I see. You have some past experiences that mark you out but nonetheless I expect there are common origins to these problems. I have a brother who is crippled by anxiety and as far as I could tell he had everything going for him - fantastic at sport, funny, great looking. I am the most confident person you could meet, amazing job (although like you I don't always appreciate it), great wife and kids yet I could still trip myself up on occasion. Now I don't know about antidepressants but I reckon that you cannot give in to these sorts of feelings. I probably have another 30 years on this planet if I'm lucky and I don't want to waste one single day feeling shit, not making the most of what I have.

If this is about work then you have to find a way to re-energise. 10 years is too long to carry feelings like this with you. Find another angle to what you teach, find some personal inspiration through others. Don't just sit in feeling shit.

Have you tried CBT to help with the anxiety? My wife has been doing this thing to help with sleep problems where every day she write down concerns, stresses, worries, thoughts, etc and then she reads them back and writes down rational responses to them. It sounds so simple but she's finding it very helpful, especially compared to doing the same exercise in your head. At the end of the day she's also been picking out three good moments from the day, which there always will be, even in the darkest times.

As a head of dept, who would you go to to say that you are having personal/performance problems?

I'm very lucky to have a really amenable and down-to-earth line manager, who is also the deputy head. He's only 3-4 years older than me, and we get on well.

But, as I said the school should have someone whose responsibility is to be a neutral person who you can talk to about personal and health problems. They will be able to advise on policy, lend an ear for you to vent, and also anything you say should be confidential.

djflexure - Member

Hesitant to reply to this as I normally avoid these threads but perhaps I can help (in sorts). I think this sort of thing is really quite common, many on here seem to be affected in one way or another judging by the responses I see. You have some past experiences that mark you out but nonetheless I expect there are common origins to these problems. I have a brother who is crippled by anxiety and as far as I could tell he had everything going for him - fantastic at sport, funny, great looking. I am the most confident person you could meet, amazing job (although like you I don't always appreciate it), great wife and kids yet I could still trip myself up on occasion. Now I don't know about antidepressants but I reckon that you cannot give in to these sorts of feelings. I probably have another 30 years on this planet if I'm lucky and I don't want to waste one single day feeling shit, not making the most of what I have.

If this is about work then you have to find a way to re-energise. 10 years is too long to carry feelings like this with you. Find another angle to what you teach, find some personal inspiration through others. Don't just sit in feeling shit.

I've dabbled in depression and in a constant state of anxiety being that I'm a pessimist and various potential hazmat exposure and genetic concerns.
Anyway:
1. Exercise
2. Counselling
3. Medication.

If you're that bad with work, surely the GP can sign you off on short term disability for 6mo?
Exercise as much as you can and if you family are supportive as you say, you'll need them to push you out the door to get some endorphins flowing.
If that fails, counselling.. and all else, sure, give meds a go..

captainsasquatch

I reached out, opened a dialogue, tried to find common ground and gave some very basic work related advice.

It may help, it may not, but it was intended to be constructive.

What have you done today?

Sertaline and CBT did wonders when I was diagnosed with anxiety.

Been off meds for 18 months now and coping fine. At least I know what's happening when it happens and the CBT taught me how to cope

captainsasquatch - Member

You really can't help being a compete an utter tosser sometimes, can you? Reported, and I'm not quoting your comment due to its nature.

I think MTFU is a loose term for mind over matter. Some people are undoubtedly fortunate and can deal with stuff in this way, while for others their problems organically overwhelm any intrinsic ability to cope or they don't have the tools to cope. I believe that my experience is valid - I am one end of the spectrum and perhaps you are the other. I am sure that the OP can potentially distill information from us both. I expect thats why posting on a forum has the potential to help.

I also find that listening to very loud beats helps shake any sense of shite out of me 🙂

I think MTFU is a loose term for mind over matter. Some people are undoubtedly fortunate and can deal with stuff in this way, while for others their problems organically overwhelm any intrinsic ability to cope or they don't have the tools to cope. I believe that my experience is valid - I am one end of the spectrum and perhaps you are the other. I am sure that the OP can potentially distill information from us both. I expect thats why posting on a forum has the potential to help.

Goes both ways

Does it sound like antidepressants would help me, given the circumstances above?

Yes, I think you're a good candidate for antidepressants. Most people find that they quickly take the edge off the anxiety and depression, and can give a breathing space to deal with any underlying issues with more long-term treatments. Lots of people on here are anti-pills, but they do work very well for a great many, especially those who like you have a family to support and a job that takes up lots of time and energy. You sound like you need a fix sooner rather than later, and modern medication can provide that far faster than CBT and the like, which take effort, and time, to make any difference. Not that I'm knocking the latter, but if you want the problem dealing with soon then antidepressants are more likely to work fast. You can always work on the mindfulness or whatever else helps later.

What does it feel like to take them, and what happens when you try to come off them?

If you're depressed, it usually just feels a whole lot better than not taking them, and that's about it. Sometimes some of the initial side-effects can be a little bit weird, but that settles down pretty fast, after a few weeks you feel pretty normal. Coming off them you generally taper the dose to soften the landing, and it can similarly take a little while for things to settle down, but again things go back to normal soon enough.

Your GP will be able to answer all these questions and more in detail, as well as being able to refer you for other sorts of treatment too. I would recommend that you make an appointment to see a doctor tomorrow and have a proper chat with a professional about all this. If nothing else you might be surprised how much better you feel just after talking to someone completely impartial about it all...

I'd look at counselling and or mindfulness.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-practical-guide-finding-frantic/dp/074995308X

I do daily mindfulness practice and helps with lots of things. It is approoved as an NHS treatment for chronic depression

Teacking in a college (This helped me massively, I was struggling in a school)

Teaching in the independent sectuer

Teaching abroad

I can't be specific as I don'y know you or your problems well enough

I bet dj has lots of inspiring motivational posters dotted about the house.

Don't just sit in feeling shit.

OK I'm happy to share my experience of a few years ago when I was going through a bit of a blue patch.

Saw the GP, got prescribed some ADs and a few counselling sessions.

Took one tablet and it made me feel so much worse - all foggy-headed and aimless - that I couldn't take any more. Ironically it really helped, as it made me think "that must be what proper bad depression feels like" and I realised that I wasn't so bad.

Only had time for one of the counselling sessions before I moved across the country, but I think it really helped to just have that initial unburdening. I haven't felt the need to see the GP in my new location as I'm feeling much more positive.

Addressing the job stuff - I'm in a different field but also in my 40s and just feeling [i]over[/i] my chosen career. Perhaps there's a slight mid-life crisis aspect to it?

I'm currently trying to diversify my portfolio, so to speak. Are there any related roles you could move into? School inspection or something?

Go and see your GP anyway.

I bet dj has lots of inspiring motivational posters dotted about the house.
Don't just sit in feeling shit.

Brilliant....wtf has'nt anyone thought of this before.Idiot.

😀

I surely am the idiot - not contesting this point.

Thing is I had a good day and I could have had a bad day. Looks like Rorschach woke up to a bad day and then had one. If you can make adjustments that help then why not?

djflexure - Member

Goes both ways

(Makes adjustment with Blacklist script.....feels better)

.

I've been on Vanlafaxine for a number of years, it's possible that I became depressed due to smoking dope during my teens, though there's things like bullying which may have played a part too, and other stuff which would logically make a person feel down about themselves.

I gather that Vanlafaxine can be a tricky one to come off, but they allow me to function in a way which I wasn't able to before starting to take them, but I was in quite a bad place when I needed to go onto anti-D's, in needing to go and see therapists and things. For me they've most certainly helped.

I'd seriously consider some kind of change in your circumstances, even if it was only just switching to teaching supply perhaps?

When my Mum retired from full time teaching due to not liking the job anymore, she quite liked teaching supply, and especially working with infant and nursery children.

Maybe teaching in colleges might be another option...?

Good luck

djflexure:

The whole point with depression (rather than feeling 'fed up') is that you feel like you're in a big hole, you have awareness of what happiness used to be like, and you know what you need to do to be happier - in principle, but despite that, you can't seem to find the motivation or energy to make the changes required to make life better, and you don't enjoy things which you used to enjoy, and feel sad for no particular reason, which you can't identify well enough to do something about.

Until you've been depressed enough to need outside help, you don't actually know what you're talking about (unless you've studied the condition in a medical capacity).

I came across this saying recently.

'There's 3 kinds of people in life. Those who have been in your situation and understand from experience. Those who haven't been in your situation and have empathy. And those who haven't been in your situation and judge. Don't be the third.'

TimothyD, you are far more eloquent, and far less abrasive than I.
Thank you.

I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression this time last year. Always been prone to mood swings and glass half empty, but a few things at home and work combined to tip me over the edge. Dreaded going to work, dreaded being at home, wanted to get away from it all, do anything, to stop feeling like that. Luckily my family were too important for me to attempt some of what I was thinking.

Went to the GP, who was very good. Signed me off work, recommended ADs but didn't prescribe them, sorted me some CBT on the NHS.

At the same time, work arranged some counseling for me through their assistance scheme.

Went back to the GP and we agreed to try me on a very low dose of Citalopram to take the edge off the anxiety and buy me some time without having too many side effects.

The CBT was good, but ran out before I properly got the most out of it. The counseling was great, made me see that it wasn't me that was the failure, gave me some confidence back.

Work have been pretty good to be fair. My work load was scaled back, and after 3 months I was ready to go back. It's still hard, I'm still on the low dose of ADs but aiming to come off it this spring and hopefully will have the balance back to deal with what life throws at me. It's taken time, but I'm getting there.

Go to the docs and see what is available.
Have a chat with your line management ,if possible.
Good luck.

Antidepressants can be a huge help. Why have you avoided them?

Once I was prescribed, it took about a month, and then, like vickypea described above, it felt like the sun finally came out. It still feels like that somewhat, about seven months on.

As for coming off them goes, there is no real worry, as you are weaned off them instead of having them cut off in short order.

Please at least try something before making any long-term decisions.

If you would like to know more, please use my email in profile.

That you are able to discuss your situation and have asked for help is a very good thing. Well done for taking a big step. There are lots of options open in terms of support and getting help. First things first. Get an appointment with your GP. Tell them how you are feeling and the challenges you are facing. They are there to he!p. If it was a physical ailment, you would go there without hesitation. Some people think that when it comes to mental wellbeing, the game is different. It isn't.

Have a good chat with your GP. If you don't have a natural rapport with them, ask to see someone else in the practice until you find someone you can talk to. Anti depressants exist to help with your brain chemistry while talking therapies such as CBT can help with your approach to situations and how you react to them.

Good luck and please let us know how you get on. You aren't alone and you are not the only one to experience these feelings. Feel free to e mail me (address in profile) if you want to talk off line.

Hope this helps and good on you for asking for help. ?

Thank you everyone for your thoughts - even the argument was entertaining 😀

1. Re MTFU - I'm not offended! But I'm posting tonight because MTFU isn't quite enough at the moment.

2. I can't really talk to anyone in work because I haven't been there long, and [standard for me] I haven't really built any trusting relationships with anyone. I'm not sure sitting a random Deputy Head down and telling them "the job you pay me to do is making me ill" is really going to help. In fact, it would probably increase my feelings of isolation.

3. There will come a time when I can afford to step off the treadmill and take a big pay cut, but I have two young kids, a mortgage and a car loan to pay, so not yet, unfortunately.

4. @mintimperial - you seem to understand my predicament and thank you for taking the time to type out that advice.

5. I don't think I need to be signed off - I'm not that bad - but I will make a GP appointment tomorrow, to discuss antidepressants for the short term while I consider longer-term solutions.

Once again, thank you everybody.

As a teacher I can understand how you feel and that you cannot talk as my school is now run on fear.
I found the Teachers helpline 08000 562 561 helped me. Although It sounds like that your situation is more severe than mine.
I am trying to get out as will, but with similar commitments it can be difficult. I am trying to build up some private tuition and the just do supply to fill the gaps.
Your teaching story is all too common the job has just been made impossible with unrealistic expectations and impossible to reach target as well as worsening pay and conditions being pushed through by the academies.
I read on here once to view it as a job you do so you can do things that you love and not as a vocation. Sadly this is how I view teaching now.
Good luck

Have a chat with your line management

Unless you joined the prison service.

Stress isn't allowed cos your'e supposed to be dead 'hard'.

Even if you decide to get out of teaching, do NOT join the prison service,& that's an order!
Hope all turns out well OP.

This sounds almost identical to my wife 12 months ago. Great teacher, felt the job was the problem, battered by anxiety and despression. She came astonishingly close to quitting the profession but didn't and, with hindsight, that wa the right move.

She did 4 things that all helped in their own way:
Anti depressants. She was scared stiff of taking them but what they did was offer some clarity to work out what was going on. She's still on them now, a low dose, but intends to get off them this spring.
CBT. This helped boost her self esteem and make her realise some very positive things another herself. It also gave her some exercises to help cope when things go badly.
Meditation. She uses Headspace, twice per day, once at night and once first thing and it makes her feel a lot better, the evening one really helps her sleep and relax in an evening.
Exercise. It was what she's always done but she stopped for a while. She started just walking in the hills, then a bit of cycling then running and now she's a beast in the gym. It has probably helped more than the other 3 but without them she would never have started to do it again.

1 year in, she feels 100 time better and is loving life, she has some low days but knows how to deal with them and that they don't last forever. She's still a teacher and arguably likes her job more than before.

I'm sure all of those things don't work for everyone but they may help. Most importantly, it will pass.

Oh, and watch this, I like it as does she.

Thank you for that ridiculously useful and encouraging post. I'll watch that video and look up Headspace. Give my regards to your wife, as her story has made me feel better about the future.

captainsasquatch:

Thank you. 🙂

I've been through the mill a lot due to anxiety and depression. It's important to me that people know it's different to 'feeling fed up'.

Fwiw.I've been self certified the last week & like the op I dont want to go to work ,but where I work you're supposed to be "hard" too. I've tried every day to get an appointment to see a doc. No chance . Had meds before ,which I hated. But the Black dog is back &quite bad at the moment. Desperate times,measures and all that....ffs.
I've typed this ,deleted it and rewrote it and it still sounds Pish, apologies to the grammar pedants in advance.
Get sorted op. 🙂 good luck.

I've been through the mill a lot due to anxiety and depression. It's important to me that people know it's different to 'feeling fed up'.

thaneofcawdor, good luck. We had a tough few months but have come out stronger.

If you're in the midlands, I can recommend you a good CBT guy, and would also happily sit down for a beer and talk over stuff. With hindsight, it was never about the job, she had some deep rooted problems and work was an outlet for them. She actually found work a huge help as it offered structure when she was struggling.

Fwiw.I've been self certified the last week & like the op I dont want to go to work ,but where I work you're supposed to be "hard" too. I've tried every day to get an appointment to see a doc. No chance . Had meds before ,which I hated. But the Black dog is back &quite bad at the moment. Desperate times,measures and all that....ffs.
I've typed this ,deleted it and rewrote it and it still sounds Pish, apologies to the grammar pedants in advance.
Get sorted op. good luck.

Sorry to hear that, man. Hope you get to see a doctor and get yourself on an even keel soon.

ok, I haven't really got enough experience to share but I separated earlier in the year and am just completing a divorce.

During this time I had some periods where I felt really down, but have pulled myself back.

Here's what I learnt has worked for me, based on this and some other experiences in life. It may not be at all applicable, but something might click, so I'll write it down as my best effort.

- It is really important to have a plan, just drifting along accepting the status quo just feeds the down feelings. In my case I tried some online dating and whenever I fixed up a date (or was trying to) things felt much better, with more motivation to go out and exercise for example. Basically you need to feel that you have control, that things aren't spiralling away from you.

- Exercise is really important - just walking did nothing but a run would knock the down feelings on the head for quite a while. Cycling would not be as effective as a run for me I don't think, certainly as a quick fix, the run made me 'work' a lot harder. It was counter productive to not go for a run because of time pressures, as I would be less efficient if I didn't.

- I've just started reading a book (59 Seconds) which has a lot of suggestions based on physcological research - a sort of counter to some of the dodgy self-help books out there. I bought it because there was another thread on depression on here and someone commentated that they had had a lot of problems with depression and nothing was getting anywhere, and then they read this book and things changed. I also bought a copy for a mate who does actually suffer from depression and he said it was really good as far as he had read.

One thing it suggests is that writing things down in a diary is a lot better therapy than talking to someone as the former tends to be a lot more structured and helps you review things. Funnily enough I think some of these online dating discussions did similar for me as I would get the third-degree over whether I was over the future-ex, which would force me to write this stuff down.

- When I played a lot of golf I realised that there is little point geting anxious over what is about to happen, as your best chance of hitting your best shots comes from when you are calm. Similarly with working as a software engineer - if I have an urgent bug that I have to have fixed by 9am the next morning I don't panic as this will make it less likely that I will be able to find the problem - my best chance is to remain calm.

In your case I would say that your best chance of preparing your workload for the following week/day is if you remain calm, if you panic and get anxious you will think less clearly and so be less likely to get the work done. If you remain calm and still don't get all the work done in time, then there is no way you would have got it done anyway so then you have to address the actual workload as it is just physically too much, and you need to talk to someone and get it reduced.

- I am a strong person and after allowing myself to wallow in self-pity for a while, decided that enough was enough and I had to do something about it, and that is when I started the online dating and more exercise, amongst other things like buying a new house and dropping all my savings on renovating it.

ok, so that may be a lot of unhelpful guff and I will surely get slated for it shortly, but I am not really bothered - that's what works for me and there it is.

this is the book that someone else recommended :

https://www.amazon.co.uk/59-Seconds-Think-little-change/dp/1447273370/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Fwiw.I've been self certified the last week & like the op I dont want to go to work ,but where I work you're supposed to be "hard" too. I've tried every day to get an appointment to see a doc. No chance . Had meds before ,which I hated. But the Black dog is back &quite bad at the moment. Desperate times,measures and all that....ffs.
I've typed this ,deleted it and rewrote it and it still sounds Pish, apologies to the grammar pedants in advance.

In addition to my early post

I never had any concerns about medication and it was a totally positive experience for me

I did have some preconceived notions and objections to therapy. Mainly male ego based nonsense. In reality, talking to a complete stranger and pouring my heart out every week was one of the best things ever

I cut negative people and experiences out of my life. Some of this involved some very big decisions but it was 100% necessary and i have no regrets

It's not a linear journey. You will have ups, downs and about turns along the way, but it's a worthwhile journey and the road keeps stretching ahead of you in reality. You just learn to accept that and adjust accordingly

For the record I was diagnosed with anxiety a couple of years ago and prescribed Propranolol.
last year I was diagnosed with reactive depression.
It's kind of cool when you can talk about it. Not everyone will understand that though.

dirksdiggler - Member 
Anyway:
1. Exercise
2. Counselling
3. Medication.

Very much this, in this order.

GPs in my experience jump straight to 3 in the form of anti-depressants (SSRIs etc). I rejected that and they went to 2. They never even suggested 1 and yet it's vastly better than 3 (2 works to complement it). 3 is useful if you really are struggling and just need something to get some balance, but there are other things to try first.

Anyway, I'm not a teacher but I come from a family of teachers and know how that affects them. Primarily the problem with teaching I see is the level of stress. You have to get on top of it as anxiety / depression is just one part of it. Can lead down the road to strokes or even heart attacks. Though anxiety itself is strange in that it can give you symptoms almost identical to stuff like angina and heart attacks and yet you aren't suffering from them, but you might be, so need a good check over.

Anyway, can't say to understand the situation as everyone is different, but I'd be looking for maybe a change in job, or at least a change in pace and attitude, combined with exercise. Years ago I switched from the job being all important to life being all important and the job is just the job. It'll get done, or not, stuff it, there are more important things. Then I discovered riding bikes. I make time for riding whenever possible, even in crap weather and at night (just buy some lights). Find groups of people to ride with and get out and ride. Amazing how you switch off and exercise de-stresses you.

captainsasquatch - Member 
For the record I was diagnosed with anxiety a couple of years ago and prescribed Propranolol.

That's not so bad. Just a beta blocker. It's not an SSRI. Not mind altering / happy pills. It just simply calms the heart down to get you out of fight and flight mode.

If on offer, worth getting a prescription and just use as you see fit. They're virtually side effect free and harmless, and non addictive.

^^ Beta blockers are not free of side effects!
Propranolol gave me asthma, and metoprolol made me very depressed and lacking in energy.

vickypea - Member 
^^ Beta blockers are not free of side effects!
Propranolol gave me asthma, and metoprolol made me very depressed and lacking in energy.

Didn't say they're free of them, just virtually free. Perhaps not the right word, more like "fairly" free of them. There are some people where they can have issues. Main affect on people seems to be can make them tired or affect sleeping, though my doctor said most people won't have issues and also they have no problem prescribing them or how much you want to take as they're relatively safe. There are various alternative beta blockers.

SSRIs on the other hand have a comparatively large amount of worrying side effects, including scary things like suicidal tendencies! They are a much bigger issue as you can't just come off them when you like.

Anyway...

They are a much bigger issue as you can't just come off them when you like.

I did

I think there is a question of separating anxiety from depression, Propranolol is one way of dealing with anxiety, but not depression. It might be the first hurdle when attacking deprsession, but unlikely to be the final solution. Ymmv.
Everyone's anxiety and depression are different.
Good luck to eveyone who's fighting it, and remember to get out of the bed on the right side tomorrow. 8)

As a teacher, if presented with this topic 3 years ago I would have been about 3 weeks behind where you seem to be. I changed from teaching in a mainstream school to teaching in a PRU and am currently on my third academic year. My wife has said on many occasions when asked that I am like a new man/ Dad/ Husband etc. The job is fantastic, I sincerely love most days at work and enjoy planning for it. Marking takes me about an hour per week, max. I work from 7 - 3pm Mon-Fri and spend around 2 hours per week during my evenings and weekends planning.

I'd advise you to at least look at other options within teaching as there are plentiful, there's a massive shortage of English teachers in all classrooms so u'd be hot property too. The Special Needs field is huge, go and investigate what may work for you as it doesn't appear that mainstream does.

Should you be in the West Yorkshire area I may be able to support, if so let me know.

Good Luck!

It is really important to have a plan, just drifting along accepting the status quo just feeds the down feelings.

If the OP is a long way down he may not have the necessary motivation to:
a. Make a plan
b. Exercise

At this point using AD's will allow for a & b.

I would hope the OP gets a couple of weeks signed off by the GP while any drugs get a chance to level things off.

Great news lunge, good to hear such a positive outcome.

I agree that work helped in the end. 3 months off and I was drifting and losing touch with normal life. Going back on a phased return helped me come to terms with things.

Interesting comments re propanol. I suffer anxiety and after a severe panic attack last week my doctor prescribed 1x40mg once a day for a week yet gave me 84. My memory of his instructions were that I can use them for my fear of flying, but does this basically mean propranolol can be taken as and when required?

Kryton57 - Member 
My memory of his instructions were that I can use them for my fear of flying, but does this basically mean propranolol can be taken as and when required?

That's what my doctor said and they prescribe them for stuff as you say like fear of flying and to students for exam nerves. I don't use them now but used to take a couple if symptoms were kicking in. Doctor said the number you need to take varies per person as to when they make any difference, but there's little risk if you take too many (don't though, I'm just repeating what was said and IANAD so that advice could be wrong).

Prescription I got had more than originally needed and on a later appointment though not really needing them they said I may as well have some more just in case. Got loads of the stuff now (probably out of date). The online system even had it down as a repeat prescription so I can just hit a button to get more.

Beta blockers are intended to treat angina, high blood pressure etc, but discovered to work well with anxiety. It's basically just reducing the panic fight and flight response because it slows the heart rate down.

p.s. Brief way of doing this without medication is to splash cold water on your face (or I've found similar with warm just covering face with a wet cloth). Triggers a reaction apparently to do with suddenly being submerged in water and the body will slow the heart rate down.

Effect works well for a short while. Beta blockers last a bit longer.

A few years ago I had a very down patch. Talking to my wife helped, and that led to seeing the GP and getting on an online CBT course which helped me to understand what I was feeling a bit more. Knowing that other people are having the same problems really helped me - [url= http://singletrackworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/throwback-thursday-vicious-cycle/ ]Tom Hill's article in Singletrack[/url] came out at just the right time for me.

Workwise, following [url= https://twitter.com/HarfordSean ]Sean Harford[/url] (Ofsted's National Director, Education) has really helped, as it lets me know what crap I can just ignore. Had I stayed in the subject I was teaching I don't think I'd still be teaching (spending all my weekends, evening and holidays marking ICT coursework) but I got the option of switching to a different subject (physics) and I now feel that I have more control over how much work I have to do outside of work. I've had a few anxiety wobbles since, mainly around lesson observations, and have found that telling the observer how I react in advance has really helped.

If the OP is a long way down he may not have the necessary motivation to:
a. Make a plan
b. Exercise

At this point using AD's will allow for a & b.

I, and indeed she, was very scared of them but they have really helped.

Brief way of doing this without medication is to splash cold water on your face (or I've found similar with warm just covering face with a wet cloth). Triggers a reaction apparently to do with suddenly being submerged in water and the body will slow the heart rate down.

I've found antihistamines work for my anxiety.

I suffer from Bipolar disorder that means that at times, I am extremely low. For many years I took all kinds of pills. They helped up to a point. Please remember they are not a cure. The analogy from my psychiatrist was " like the crutch you use when you break your leg - helps you get around but won't repair the broken bone".
So without other help, pills will just keep you in a less depressed and less anxiety but unless you fix the problem that caused the initial lowness, it will not get better.
I tried many talk therapies, some work better than others and if you don't feel a connection to a therapist (you just think they aren't helping), find another.
My fix when I'm really low is a Spotify playlist. It has songs from great times in my life. Fun times when life was great. I also dance around the house like a crazy fool. This really works for me. I am currently drug free and life is looking good again for me. Through talking, I have learnt which triggers cause me to become unstable, so have altered my life to avoid them. And by talking, the triggers becomes a lot less extreme.
The other thing I have learnt in life is, sometimes when I'm low, it's not that I'm sick at that time, but that everyone sometimes has low times in life and it does get better. Trust me on this. Mail in profile if you need to talk.

I have not read every post but there seems to be some good advice on it

Antidepressants are a treatment not a cure. What they do is chase the black dog away for a time. this then give you the breathing space to find a cure - which could well be in talking therapies of some sort - the key with talking therapies is to have a good relationship with a counsellor. I like the person centred approach of Carl Rodgers but other types of talking therapies have their promoters as well.

It may be that you need to quit teaching as if that is the cause then the only cure is to get out but equally talking therapies might give you the tools to carry on.

So
1) GP
2) antidepressants if advised
2) time off work to stabilise yourself 3 months maybe? ( only if needed)
3) talking therapy to sort out the causes and to give you the tools to cope. You will probably have to go private but check with your GP what is available but NHS provision is patchy and poor.

The bad sides to Anti depressants - can take a couple of weeks at least to start feeling any benefit from them. There can be side effects when starting with them, nausea, dizziness, worsening of feelings etc but your Dr will go through these with you but just be assured it will pass (took 6 weeks for my nausea to stop when started citalopram). It may take a couple of goes to find the right med for you (Which of course can take time)

However

Once you have found the right med/s for you, they'll help calm and slow your mind down from racing away 24/7. Some do make you drowsy but you'll sleep better. They offer some breathing space. You'll start noticing that you can be bothered to do some stuff you used to enjoy, even if it means just going for a walk

Talk, talk to your family and friends
Talk to the Dr
Accept that you are unwell, you're suffering from an illness, you can't help it, it's not your fault. Don't beat yourself up
Avoid booze (I had 3 pints on Friday and have had an awful weekend with my depression)

Propranolol can help with calming your heart rate/BP/adrenaline down. I take 2 x 40mg a day. The most concerning side effect I had with these was that they caused my hair to start falling out, luckily this seems to have stopped now

This forum is great to sound off on, there will always be someone here to talk to

CBT is worth exploring. You mentioned low confidence stemming from your upbringing, so you might also want to try a therapist with a Freudian background, as you might have some unresolved issues...It's something I'm now going through, and it seems that having distant, critical parents isn't the greatest thing for long-term success (although it can get you further as you start out, but you begin to run out of extrinsic motivation like fear and need to develop internal motivation, which requires self-esteem).

probably going to say the wring thing so apologies if its not appropriate to you... but for years i suffered with anxiety until i stopped drinking and literally its not been a prob since.

This has been my experience, and maybe it's not right for you, but here goes.

I have , and still do, suffer with the triangle of depression, anxiety and stress.

I thought that having retired my depression would go away.
I have stopped taking the anti depressants now, but the unhappiness and stress brought on by not being happy in my work / job still affects me two years after having retired.

People gave me all sorts of advice when I was working and suffering with depression, but in a large part it was brought on by the work and workplace.

Family pressures made me carry on in the job, mortgage, 3 kids, supporting them in uni etc. Didn't see that I could stop and change.

I do wish I had the courage to change and end the cycle. I was clearly not content / capable/ fitted in ( insert any adjective).

Try and make a long term change if the work is affecting you. I know it's not an easy thing to do, but your skills as a teacher are very valuable and are transferable into other areas.

Have a long think about it, there are many things you could probably do with your skill set, and in the long term you and your family would be better off (maybe not financially), but emotionally.

http://breathingspace.scot/

I sometimes wonder how our 'modern' way of life is detrimental to the mental health of people who commit to work for 40 or 50 years, often under quite intense scrutiny, in jobs that perhaps do not allow for adequate reflection, change of scenery and so on. Teaching must be relentless these days if done properly.

Perhaps we should all be allowed a sabbatical to ride our bikes every 10 years - to replenish and recharge?

When I suffered from clinical depression my life was already a bit of a mess but got much worse, not enough work, too many drugs etc... Fortunately by the time I was at my lowest point I had nothing but my bike and the clothes I was wearing left to lose and was eventually able to affect in one fell swoop a complete and total change in my environment, job, lifestyle, associates everything.

From my perspective, I feel for you because I see you can't throw it all out and start again. I had no dependents then and although I felt sorry for myself at the time in hindsight I was very lucky in that respect as I got a clean break.

What I'm trying to say in a rambling sort of way is that the misery is not worth it. There are many different people who need teaching, not just kids in schools. If you want to stick with teaching you do have options, please take one before you really can't get out of bed in the morning. The darkness will suck you down quicker than shit so please stick a finger up to it, kick it in the head and put yourself in a better position, one you deserve to be in.

I'm not being flippant, a f==k you attitude is all that gets me through much of the modern day bureaucracy that's forced upon us all. I see depression as the enemy, it's always watching and waiting, I take the fight to it.

As always on these threads, some really brilliant advice. I don't really have a lot to add except that in my personal experience the use of anti-depressants (Citalopram in my case), gave me the breathing space and released me from some of the anxiety. This meant I could use the counselling (Integrative) more meaningfully as I had more energy in reserve. Exercise does definitely help, but for me it's part of a balanced approach with counselling, medication and support from family and very supportive friends.

Just back from the doc's with Sertraline (50mg/day) and a leaflet for a CBT self-referral.

The doctor says that Sertraline might make my A&D worse for a couple of weeks, but I want to start taking it so I can get through the stabilising period and onto feeling better.

Thanks again everyone for the advice.

I've not suffered myself, but my wife has. The things that helped her were

avoid stimulants - coffee, alcohol, sugar.
Avoid social media
Exercise
Talk (but constructively, not going over old ground all the time)
Headspace
Don't discount medication, but be patient with it, it does take a while.

The website that really helped her was [url= http://www.anxietycentre.com ]www.anxietycentre.com[/url] it's worth paying for a months membership (£5ish) just to read their advice.

Hope you feel better soon.

Good work OP. Hold on tight for the next few weeks, you will likely be yo-yoing for a bit and will feel pretty weird at times, but it will settle down and then things will start to look noticeably less horrible. Good luck.

You will be on a bit of a rollercoaster until the meds start to work - I delayed starting mine as the family were away the week I was prescribed them and I didn't fancy dealing with the potential consequences of going further down before I came back up all by myself.

Avoiding stimulants is a good point - I was getting a serious caffeine habit to keep me going when times got hard and I wanted to just curl up and quit, and reducing the coffee/switching to decaff did help ease things. I also cut down the little drinking I did to just a pint at a time, couldn't be doing with feeling hungover and depressed and anxious.

For me talking therapies, CBT or otherwise have been the most helpful, but you need to be in the right place for them to have the best effect, so AD's can help. (See threads on posting history.). Only you, and those closet to you will know what's most important to you all. Making changes, as hard and scary as it may seem to be in the present, I've found to be a useful way to highlighting what I really care about...

For us, this meant making some major moves to Spain. My wife's a teacher and she managed to secure a position in one of the many international schools, aside from the direct benefits of more sunshine etc, the quality of life is much improved, and albeit that she is still working full time, the class sizes, beurocracy etc are much less. Sorry if this is a bit jumbled, but my email is in profile if you want to talk...

For us, this meant making some major moves to Spain

Good one - brave move. My dream is to run a backpackers' and touring cyclists' hostel in Iceland.

Unfortunately, the kids' mother might object to me taking the kids to rural Iceland 🙂 My current partner isn't keen either!

My 'breakdown' occurred when working in Commissioing for Children's Services with a local authority. I loved my work, I was good at it too, but the demands were ever growing, unrealistic and under resourced. On top of this I suffered some work placed harassment/bullying. So much of my life had become about pursuing an unobtainable reality, of which fact I endeavoured to distract myself with obsessions over many meaningless material objects, hearsay I know, but bikes included. Since moving, we've had to adapt to a reduction in income, but what we do have is time, and more than this, this spent together, talking, playing whatever...

I've since stopped my meds, and have previously written much on here about anxiety, depression etc... Whilst none of this was easy, ultimately the motivation was to get to what's right for me and those who I love... When I was first prescribed anti-d's back in 2013' I thought that I was 'stronger' I could do it on my own, I'm a 'bloke' after all!!! That weekend ended up with me putting a belt around my neck... My journey has moved on, and the drugs helped me get to a place where I could talk, first and most importantly to my wife, and then to my family and friends, who I'd attempted to hide my situation from for many years.

Since all of this, I now have a group of people who I consider 'safe' to talk to, they have similar conditions, and it's mutually beneficial, but most importantly, they listen without prejustice, don't pretend to know exactly how I'm feeling, and realise that it's both ok to have a bad day and that this in itself does not make you a bad person...

Update if anyone is interested.

Hold on tight for the next few weeks, you will likely be yo-yoing for a bit and will feel pretty weird at times

This has turned out to be excellent advice from Mintimperial. I feel pretty dissociated and "fuzzy", tired all the time, and butterflies in my stomach pretty constantly. If I wasn't ill before, I sure as hell am now 🙂

So yes, I'm holding on tight 🙂

Hi all. My names Steve, asnd I suffer from Anxiety 🙂

In relation to this thread I used my work employee program to get some suggested councilling after having the second Panic attack related to flying that reduced me to my knees and living the last 17 years at least with recognisable anxiety issues.

So after my just first session the councillor told me so much about myself she couldnt have possibly known I was astounded to tears. Not only have we perhaps discovered the root of my anxiety, but the reasoning behind the behaviour it manifests and next time we start on a path to what it is i can do to "unlock" the cause and change my behaviour.

Like thaneofcawdor above yet without the medication, I've felt very strange today as my brain tries to adjust, sometimes sick, sometimes emotional and sometimes devil-may-care. It feel difficult but revolutionary. All in all though, I feel as though a weight has been slighty lifted. Time will tell how this manifest itself, but imagine you've discovered whats its like to be everyone else, when you didn't realise you were different.