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seadog101 - Member
My wife always thinks that any show of niceness on MD is just because it's MD, and not a true reflection of their feelings.
Pretty much what my mother said years ago, she "said just treat me like a normal human being every day, that's enough for me"
I am very close to my mother and she's supported me & I her through some really tough times, but neither of us need to splash out on a special day.
We just know we are there for each other.
I think my mum would laugh at me TBH.
Although, I'm the same age as your son, and I was totally unaware it was mothers day today. 😆
Took my mum a card today.
Sadly she isn't really sure who I am these days. She was very grateful and smiled a lot but I could tell she was thinking "who's this strange fella and why's he brought me a card. 😐
We did do an event for the mothers of Mr and Mrs Ampthill today
But my wifes sister didn't get any cheery message from her daughter. The daughter is in Australia when asked via facebook just said that they don't do it there
But she did lug her arse here for Christmas and really made a fuss of everyone
She is hoping her parents will come to her for next Christmas and might have to help with flights
On balance what matters is does the kid appreciate their mum and show it. Rather than did they do a card on one day
My son turned himself inside out helping me move our all stuff from one house to another. He pretty much collapsed with exhaustion on the last day.
Well done that lad! Guess what my son told me when he said he couldn't stay longer? 'I'm riding my bike'. and he did cos I'm his Strava follower. 😕
Guess what my son told me when he said he couldn't stay longer? 'I'm riding my bike'. and he did cos I'm his Strava follower.
Apple never falls far from the tree. 🙂
My Mom told me last week to "don't waste your money on a stupid present" on mothers day, pretty perceptive for an 78 year old with advancing dimensia
when I asked him (he's away at university), he reckons he has sent a card but it's just not got here on time
Surely we've all used that one?
My 8 year old daughter made a big fuss of her mum today. I was enlisted to help make a card and breakfast in bed.
She genuinely wanted my wife to have a good day which was lovely too see 🙂
How often do we mean to visit our parents but something more important comes up?
Days like today make us actually get off our arses and put them first.
A lot of the budget ones come from Kenya as well which makes it worse.
Steady on........you begrudging our Kenyan friends a butty now ?
zippykona - Member
How often do we mean to visit our parents but something more important comes up?
Days like today make us actually get off our arses and put them first.
Seen my folks twice in 3 years, one of the things about being on the other side of the world. Birthdays get cards and skype, Christmas gets cards/presents everything else is just a normal day.
If you get on well with your parents then Mothers/Fathers day means not much, if you only send something because it's mothers day they thats more of a problem. I remember one guy I worked with made sure half the office heard him ordering his mothers day bouquet and that he wanted the more expensive ones - proper cock.
he's got a girlfriend you say? have a word with her, she'll make him do it.
I'm going to bookmark this thread, and if I ever need reminding whever STW actually reflects the opinions and feelings real people I'll open it up. What a miserable bunch of........ 🙁
I'll open it up. What a miserable bunch of........
So which is worse the people who have a genuine relationship with their family and who know that or those who send flowers and a card on one day?
Stumpy, my take on this is that if your son is in regular contact with his Mum and you and makes reasonable effort in ensuring that his Mum knows that he cares then missing out on one commercially exploited Sunday really isn't the end of the world.
Furthermore, IF his stance is one of genuine principle then maybe it's time that he made this clear or that you accept his position.
However, from what you say, it seems that your son just doesn't bother and that gets right up your nostrils doesn't it ? So maybe that's his payoff ?
He likes pissing you off and you take the bait every single time. Job done.
Dad's don't always have to be bossy "In my house ! " style autocrats, they can be really bloody good mates too.
As a much respected US Psychologist once said "If what your doing isn't working then you could try another way".
we've generally been pretty slack with this sort of thing in my family..
but we're pretty close and show our appreciation on nearly every day of the year..
err... my ma got a new fella about a decade or so ago and his family observed this sorta shit much more rigorously, he kicked up a right old stink about it so now we all try to remember to make a gesture just to stop him whingeing and upsetting her with his pomp and ceremony.. he gets a real buzz out of us making the effort
people are different
we should celebrate that, not use it as an excuse to take out our frustrations on one another
as a 20 something I was far too preoccupied to have even noticed... maybe you should look into why your lad is too busy to remember his ma.. but be nice about it hey?
I would be proud of the boy, sticking to his principles despite having a fairly ridiculous Mom and presumably "Pop" to content with. Good lad
If you stop forcing it, you may get a bit of love.
So which is worse the people who have a genuine relationship with their family and who know that or those who send flowers and a card on one day?
Because they are the only two alternatives arent they 🙄
Took my mum for Sunday lunch and she loved it. Just wish I could be a crazy guy like all you lot.
There are plenty in the middle, just quite a few on the extremes and plenty who think a card flowers on Valentines/Mothers Day/Fathers Day etc makes everything all right.
My wife is currently annoyed with me because I didn't acknowledge mothers day, but mothers day here in Australia is in May!
I'm not convinced those that applaud the boy for his anti commerce stance have actally read the op properly. He ignores/forgets family birthdays too. There is no reference to him stating he dosn't for 'moral' reasons, he could just be lazy/inconsiderate. Mir would be interesting to hear from the op what his lad expects for his own birthday.
.As for plonking flowers on a grave ? no the same as remembering dead relatives birthdays etc in a newspaper ad there is no point as they are dead
I often 'visit' my Grandfather's grave, often leave a little sprig of something seasonal. He was a landscaper, a wall-builder, an 'outdoor man'. He never talked about 'loving nature', just as a horse doesn't talk about chewing grass. We were close in the same way. Our time together in life had a sparkle of *being* that remains special to me. His irreverent humour, our walks and picnics over Bredon, daft chatter, harrowing and thrilling war stories, his grumpy misanthropy yet laughing, cheerful fascination with our species.
I cycle over to Powys now, and sit alone and have a 'chat' at his graveside. He doesn't say much of course - but his memory is that much clearer at that point in time, so much so that bright, shining little snippets of our living discourse come leaping back fresh to my mind. You're right, the dead can't appreciate the respect and love, they're gone. But I still feel it, show it, and receive much in return via memory. Maybe these little rituals are not so nonsensical after all? When my parents go (and if I'm still alive) I know that I'll pay their respects too.
PS wife's son (mid-twenties) doesn't give two hoots either, he claims it's commercialisation/fake (funnier still as he's in some kind of objectivist US-flavoured internet-capitalist mind-cult where they disown their families). He doesn't give a hoot all around really, but that doesn't get in the way of getting in touch via social media once a year to be grumbling loudly about mother's day and birthdays. She's grateful just to hear him moan about it, as is often the only contact she hears.
I don't normally comment on interfamily relationships because they're far too subjective.
However, me and my Mum just text each other, have done since the mobile phone was invented and texting a core feature.
I too don't undrstand the commercialism element, but a considered thought is worth more.
Oops, "forgot". Usually do. If I do remember I phone, but joining in with the commercial landfill part of it doesn't happen.
My uncle left the lot to the RNLI. Which made anyone who'd helped/visited/invested time in the miserable ---- feeling miffed.
As for "inconsiderate". What about the miseries who try to make other people's lives misery for having not joined in with the collective madness.
It should be renamed "Emotional Blackmail Day".
There are plenty in the middle, just quite a few on the extremes and plenty who think a card flowers on Valentines/Mothers Day/Fathers Day etc makes everything all right.
And plenty of those who are too juvenile and self obsessed to give up some of their "me" time to make a fuss of somebody else. I love the STW faithful. the independently minded who wont fall for that "marketing bollox"... oh the irony
And plenty of those who are too juvenile and self obsessed to give up some of their "me" time to make a fuss of somebody else.
and many who give up their me time over the year without needing to do it on a specific day of the year.
without needing to do it on a specific day of the year.
Keep sticking it to the man 🙄
it's not sticking it to the man, just saying not everyone requires the same methods. Plenty of people can be happy not following the rules and still be normal sensible human beings who love their families and can be thankful of what they share.
Forgot to say, I dislike commercialisation but mum loves Mother's Day (which as others have stated, is the real clincher isn't it?) so I go along and spend a few hrs with her that I might not have done otherwise. It's a kick up the ar*e for me - the modern man can be so self-absorbed - almost a religion of self. I stop at Hallmark though *shudder*. This year she got an '80s Anthems' box set and some posh cheese. Cheesefest!
Why don't yiu talk to yiur son and ask him why he doesn't send a card?
He's probably upset because you call his mum, mom
I mean are you American !
He's probably upset because you call his mum, mom
Ha, we had this discussion yesterday, our family from W Midlands, in-laws from the US. So we all use 'mom', and always have. i wonder if anywhere else in UK call mum, 'mom' or is it just a Midlands dialect thing?
I remember making a card for mothers day when I was 7 of 8. I messed up my spacing, so Happy Mothers' Day had to become Happy Moms' Day.
HTH.
and many who give up their me time over the year without needing to do it on a specific day of the year.
Exactly!
I'll bend over backwards to help my folks as they would for me. We all appreciate each other and tbh one arbitrary day means nothing really.
I'm useless at remembering birthdays and wedding anniversaries but my Mum gets a card and phone call from me on Mothering Sunday as would be disappointed if she didn't. I don't bother with Father's Day as that's more of a made up thing - I won't expect anything from my son as he gets older but for now I get cards he makes at school.
I see my mum about twice a week, at the very least every couple of weeks if i'm busy. I've never really observed mothers day tbh, I don't really need to be prompted by anyone else to go and see my ma or take her out.
I drive 150 miles every weekend to see my mum. However this weekend I took her a card from me and one from my son along with a new duvet set... She was absolutely ecstatic and it made her day...
Just because you see them regularly and stuff, doesn't mean you can't treat them a little on this particular day.
Three pages and nobody has blamed the parents yet?