[Closed] Am I being an ungrateful sod? Centreparcs content

I just hate the artificial forced stuff like Centre Parcs

I don't get this at all. been to centre parcs twice now, and I think it's great. no one forces you to do anything. at it's most basic it's a cabin in the woods. take a bike, get out of the complex for a ride one morning, spend the other days chilling, drinking beer on the deck, and playing with your kid.

the pools are great, and free, take your own food, and you don't have to spend anything.

How are your web design skills? Spoof a BBC news page saying Zika virus carrying mosquitoes have been found at popular UK holiday resorts 😉

Is there a thread on Mumsnet:

"I managed to get my head together enough to organise a birthday treat I thought I could cope with whilst looking after a 4 month old and the ungrateful git's threatened to make me go on my own with the baby"

Jeez you guys are far too reasonable - apart from bikebouy who's advice would get me divorced.

No, if you really want to get divorced, put a post on a public forum, that your wife knows you frequent, about how shite you think your birthday present is. That'll do it. 😳

Sorry, but to me it sounds terminal. Upshot is you've said they're away for a long weekend so you'll have time to gather up their stuff and move them into a flat or suchlike and still have time to reflect about how badly you've got this one wrong and maybe come up with an improvement strategy for your future family.
Best of luck.
RM.

Get a grip man. Have you tried explaining it rather than hoping she works it out?

I would have thought a few days in Centreparcs would be immeasurably more pleasant than living with a pissed off wife. She must be pretty pissed off to want to go on her own with a small baby.

Taking babies swimming is ace fun as well!

This and to be fair your original post makes you come across as childish.

I never had any desire to go there either but my wife booked us in for a long weekend with her mates and our 1yr old. As I didn't suck my thumb all the way there it turned out to be an enjoyable weekend even though we were limited as to which facilities we could use. Go, relax, wonder about with Jr, go to the pool with Jr, enjoy the lack of motor vehicles and the pleasant surroundings. You never know, you might quite enjoy it.

How are your web design skills? Spoof a BBC news page saying Zika virus carrying mosquitoes have been found at popular UK holiday resorts

Bit late for that. 🙂 Would just extinguish the remote chance he has of getting any on his birthday. Though he's pretty much done that already.

P-Jay has hit the definition of being a Dad right on the head, top man. Embrace it and have fun!!!

Mixed on this

Life will be family holidays for sure but that does not mean she gets to pick one she knows you dont like as a thoughtful 40 th Birthday present.

If she knew you hated it then I am not sure why she has done this tbh- not sure not going is the best answer though.

Either discuss and agree you talk about it in future or retaliate with equally thoughtful gifts for her ...really dont do that one.

It now looks like I'm spending my birthday home alone whilst they go without me.

This sounds like a win to me. get some beer and pizza in, nice long bike ride finishing by staying up late watching a bad movie eating and drinking and whatever else you fancy all by yourself. Get the whole bed to yourself and not woken up by a baby at early am.
Can't she get a refund and go somewhere nicer with a few more hills where you could take a bike? so you could have half day off with yourself.

[quote="wwaswas"]Going to Centre Parcs is what families do.Certainly isn't.

Centre Parcs is where people go once the spark of life has been extinguished.
Bit like Butlins used to be, but with a veneer of pleasantness.

A very thin veneer.

I agree to some extent dont really understand why u'd take a 4 month old to centre parcs.

if the kid was 6-12 I might say suck it up.

I dont really see what you can do as a family with a 4 month old in centre parcs.

To be honest I'd rather go without the kid at least u can do the activities then.

I've got a 5 month old at the moment, and with a 4 month old like you say you just want to go some with nice views cos in reality you cant do anything much.

[i]Certainly isn't.[/i]

It's not *all* that families do, clearly. Sorry if I wasn't sufficiently clear on that.

It's a big campsite with self catering cabins instead of taking your own tents with a reasonable range of activities on site and the ability to use it as a base to for days out. Most family holidays I've ever done have involved a base with day trips or 'staying on site' for the day and doing stuff.

I've only ever stayed at one through work but I can see there's a market for what they offer that doesn't require people to have had any sense of purpose removed from their life to visit.

Sounds awful. Any decent riding nearby?

[i]Any decent riding nearby? [/i]

about 5 minutes ride from the front gate.

It now looks like I'm spending my birthday home alone whilst they go without me.

Don't do that: take your bike and go ride in Sherwood Pines.

Family holidays don't have to be at Center Parcs - we've done camping trips to France with plenty of cycling using the trailer, for example.

It seems bit harsh if you don't like it, but little kids love swimming, hoppy Jr has been doing it from 3 months and loves the waves and lazy rivers at centre parcs and always has.

The thing you need to get your head round is that life isnt like it was and to an extent your missus is right, that is what family holidays re going to be, maybe not the specific location but they aren't going to be about you and her. Going to a 'nice hotel' with a small child isn't actually that much fun as they aren't really set up for them, the cot eats into any space you have, once you've put little one down to sleep you're more constrained, its harder to deal with the copious quantities of dirty clothes, etc. And everyone else is trying to have a nice time in a nice hotel whilst little one has a melt down because the foods not on a certain plate, gets wearing. Imminently those hotels will start to include nipper as a person and charge for them and any unfilled space that results from you being a party of 3.

Centre parcs might not be the best but it is easy to go and just turn off for a bit with a decent pool, a forest area with no cars near some riding if you want it. You don't need to do activities.

Was it particularly well thought out by your missus, no. But you've not covered yourself in glory in how you've handled it. Suck it up princess.

My and the wife went when our lad was 5 month old. Decent accommodation, quiet woodland environment, no cars, ducks and squirrels coming up to the windows, ponies & deer, soft play areas, play grounds with baby swings, places to eat and drink that were equipped for babies, a pool for him to splash about in. We had a great time.

You should stay away so that you don’t bring the mood down.

make the most of it now by the time your kid is at school you will be paying a minimum £1200 for a 4 night break there during school holidays

I would have been spitting tacks if the wife had booked CP for my 40th. I had a long weekend with her in Rome (she knows I really like it there) and our 15 month old was left with grandparents. She is making it quite clear an exotic trip is required for her 40th next year.

Been to CP with our now 2 kids and taking a 4 month old there is pointless. 20 minutes in the pool with the baby is all the activities you will be able to do.

So - I'm with you on this. Fatherhood shouldn't rule you entirely. Sometimes (rarely) you can and should be selfish - helps keep you sane/happy. 40th birthday is definitely one such occasion.

The thing you need to get your head round is that life isnt like it was and to an extent your missus is right, that is what family holidays re going to be, maybe not the specific location but they aren't going to be about you and her.

True, but that becomes more so as they get older, and require entertainments. At 4 months old, Miss CD is relatively portable. Our first holiday with Miss R (she was 4 months) was a cottage in the Peak District - we went cycling on the railway paths and had lunch in nice pubs.

As an aside, Mrs R has made it very clear that for her 40th, we're leaving the kids with her parents and going somewhere with an abundance of good restaurants.

I can see why you weren't exactly bowled over with the promise of a birthday treat trip to center parcs, given that you've been before and didn't enjoy it.
If you Wife knew this, but went ahead and booked it anyway, then that's a bit crap, I reckon.
Having a kid shouldn't mean that every other life consideration gets thrown out of the window and you have to do what all the other families do.

Having said that, now it's booked you might as well go along & try to make the most of it. If you accept that it's booked now, you'll probably have a better time than if you drag your heels everywhere & sulk.

with a 4 month old the chances are yr wife is really sleep deprived/stressed and is trying hard, had some idillic family getaway in her head but just messed up. Sometimes you need to bite your tongue.

Yes its shit at centreparks but its not worth falling out over.

ghostlymachine - Member
Centre Parcs is where people go once the spark of life has been extinguished.
Bit like Butlins used to be, but with a veneer of pleasantness.

A very thin veneer.

That's total BS, I've been a few times, most recently with my one year old and my brother's family incl. his 5 month old.

Thoroughly enjoyable time. We swam, cycled at barely a walking pace, played bowls, badminton etc, walked around the lake and stalked the ducks and weird little muntjac or whatever they are.

Log burner on in the evening, few beers, takeaway and a game of Linkee. Great fun.

Hammerite on the previous page comparing it to camping or a cottage where you have to look up and drive to a local sports centre to play a quick game of badminton entirely misses the point, which is that [i]you don't have to think at all while you are there[/i].
Everything is easy and convenient. Yes you pay for that, but so what?

Just go with good grace and take a big bag of weed or mushrooms and spend the time off your tits.

Bit like Butlins used to be, but with a veneer of pleasantness.

As an adult I looked into centreparcs and it was cost more than a foreign hol and all the activities (exc swimming) cost more on top. No ta.
Was a while ago so dunno if it's changed.
edit

by the time your kid is at school you will be paying a minimum £1200 for a 4 night break

2 different issues

issue 1: going on a holiday that isn't really your thing, and with a little one -> solution = suck it up daddy, holidays will be different now, and mum needs the break as well, compromise and try to enjoy it.

issue 2: being *told* you're going on a holiday that she knows isn't your thing *as a treat for your birthday* -> I would be a bit pissed off too, but consider the circumstances, she was probably trying to do something nice and relaxing for the pair of you to have a bit of downtime, so don't have a tantrum over it 🙂

If she'd said "I know your birthday is coming up soon, but I could really do with a break and fancy Centre Parcs, the little one might enjoy it too and it's pretty relaxed, would you be up for that?" then you'd have had the opportunity to discuss it and either agree or find an alternative.

True, but that becomes more so as they get older, and require entertainments. At 4 months old, Miss CD is relatively portable. Our first holiday with Miss R (she was 4 months) was a cottage in the Peak District - we went cycling on the railway paths and had lunch in nice pubs.

They are but all the associated crap isn't. The difficulty is that most self catering accommodation doesn't want to do weekend only, going away for a whole week is easy but a weekend break with a sprog is much more difficult IME. Trying to find somewhere where you can just come and go as you please whilst still being a reasonable place to be is difficult.

You're being unreasonable. The dynamic of life is different now you’re a family – this is your mrs trying to organise a nice trip away as a family and to have some time together without the usual day to day distractions.

Embrace it. You’ll never get this time with your baby and wife back – make the most of it. You may think you don’t like the idea right now, but if you open your mind up to the possibility of some quality time with your family, you should start to really enjoy things like this.

I speak as a relatively new dad (daughter is 18 months old) – initially there was a lot of upheaval and change in my place in the priority list (I’m now dad, partner, individual - in that order) but now I wouldn’t change it for the world. I absolutely love spending time with my little girl and would trade any amount of riding or (and I f*cking HATE this phrase) “me time” for more time with her and my mrs.

As an aside, Mrs R has made it very clear that for her 40th, we're leaving the kids with her parents and going somewhere with an abundance of good restaurants.

Just imagine how she would feel if you booked a weekend at butlins? That's aimed at those saying the OP should suck it up.

As an aside, Mrs R has made it very clear that for her 40th, we're leaving the kids with her parents and going somewhere with an abundance of good restaurants.

Northern Riviera?....

[img] [/img]

P-Jay for father/husband of the year! Please stay away from my wife.

Kids can't be paused just because it's your birthday OP. It's not great, I'd not be too happy if I were in your position, but I'd try and see the positives. Worst case, like some others who've been in your position, it's a chance to spend some quiet time with your family. Your baby won't be this age again.

Apologise and make it right with your partner. You're both probably stressed enough as it is without you having a sulk on, and life's too short to be hacked off at the mother of your child because of something like this.

I like to think that part of being a parent is about striving to be a better person. Putting other people first, especially when they're trying to do something considerate falls in there. Maybe if having a big fuss made of you for your 40th was important to you you could plan an additional celebration!

As an aside, Mrs R has made it very clear that for her 40th, we're leaving the kids with her parents and going somewhere with an abundance of good restaurants.

Just imagine how she would feel if you booked a weekend at butlins? That's aimed at those saying the OP should suck it up.

Perhaps his problem is not making it 'very clear' to his other half well in advance. Mrs R may well have a sensible Butlins avoidance strategy sorted out there.

Now the deed has been done though, can't see the point in doing much more than having a moan on t'internet though.

[i]Just imagine how she would feel if you booked a weekend at butlins? [/i]

when our son was 4 months old I was grateful if my wife was able to make it to the shops, tbh. She'd had a shit time and with the birth, bugger all sleep (not just the usual bugger all but proper getting professional help from the NHS stuff).

When our daughter was 4 months old I was sat on the sofa with a broken hip and my wife was grateful of I was able to make it to the shops.

Maybe a 'safe' choice was all the OP's wife could face/cope with?

MrSmith - Member
As an aside, Mrs R has made it very clear that for her 40th, we're leaving the kids with her parents and going somewhere with an abundance of good restaurants.
Just imagine how she would feel if you booked a weekend at butlins? That's aimed at those saying the OP should suck it up.

If the OP, had been clear from the start what he wanted and the Mrs did something else then fair enough. But it doesn't appear to have been the case. It might not have been the present (it will be now) just a chance to get away.

They are but all the associated crap isn't

Top tip - you don't need anywhere near as much crap as you think you do.

Treat it like bikepacking - trim down and bring what you really need. You'd be surprised how little that is.

Treat it like bikepacking - trim down and bring what you really need. You'd be surprised how little that is.

<Pictures OP shivering under a tarp in the forest>

Probably won't be far from reality if he's not careful. 🙂

Lots of classic STW me-me-me infantilism from the usual suspects.

As WASWAS says she's probably not up to planning the trip of a lifetime, just chill out and go with it - and book in a biking weekend in scotland/the lakes with the lads/lasses for when the sun's shining.

You know what, you're both wrong - but you're more wrong than she is. If she knows you don't like CP, then she's wrong to book a 40th birthday present for you there - but then does she know you don't like CP? She is also doing what almost all women do and being excited about the idea of being a family (when she's not too tired to think) - which is where booking CP for a family holiday comes in despite her not having realised it's not really great for a baby.

But you're also wrong - firstly because you're not giving CP a chance - I'd not enjoy a spa day either, but that's not what you're going for and it will be nothing like that. Admittedly I've never been to CP (too expensive for us), but I've been to Parkdean (static caravans, which I swore I'd never do), Butlins and Haven and despite initial reservations I've enjoyed all of them and will happily go back. It's not compulsory that you do anything when you're there, it's just a place to stay, and you can make of it what you will - I take a sea kayak and a bike and get to go out and play somewhere new for an hour or so a day and spend the rest with the family. As others have said, take a bike and there's good riding from the door. Go with the right attitude and you might just enjoy it.

You're also wrong, because you are a family now and life isn't the same - TBH your suggestions of booking a MTB holiday for your wife's birthday aren't at all comparable.

Finally you're wrong because, well because men are always wrong and women are always right. It will make your life a lot easier if you learn this. I'm struggling to see what you're gaining by upsetting your wife - probably a bit late for this now, but to come back to your first sentence you surely should have said "Centre Parcs?" with a wink and a leer.

molgrips - Member
They are but all the associated crap isn't
Top tip - you don't need anywhere near as much crap as you think you do.
Treat it like bikepacking - trim down and bring what you really need. You'd be surprised how little that is.

Hoppy jrs 1st bikepacking trip was at 3.5 years old.

Depends on what you're doing though, if you've got to provide the travel cot in accommodation and you've got a buggy then you're filling a room/boot pretty damn quick.

You are completely correct. It's pointless with a baby, but you may as well go along.
We went with our boys aged 9 and 12 and they loved it, and I enjoyed them enjoying it.
I have to say it's really expensive and for people who like the idea of an active lifestyle, but want it all laid on for them.
Saying all that, go along, take a bike to have a quick spin to get your shit together, then take baby for a swim, and have a beer playing pool or table tennis with the Mrs.
Shit weekend to go though- start of school hols.

They are but all the associated crap isn't.

It all fits in the car boot - what's the problem?

Mrs R may well have a sensible Butlins avoidance strategy sorted out there.

It's not great, I'd not be too happy if I were in your position, but I'd try and see the positives.

This. You can get some time away, Mrs CD can have some time to herself, and you can ride your bike. Center Parcs isn't my cup of tea either, but no point in ruining the weekend.

The difficulty is that most self catering accommodation doesn't want to do weekend only

I should probably mention that I mostly agree with all those (including the OP) suggesting it's fairly pointless with a little one - when kids were small we did just book cottages or B&Bs, it's only when the kids have got older we've got sucked into Butlins et al. I say mostly - because there is still the pool, which is presumably nice and convenient - TBH when we go to one of these places I reckon the pool is the facility we make by far the most use of, we'd be happy just to have that.

until that child is six months old, your only role is to support your woman and subsume your needs for her mental and physical wellbeing.

you're 40, stop sulking, suck it up.

Lots of classic STW me-me-me infantilism from the usual suspects.