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[Closed] Agony Aunts to the forum - break up advice...

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Sorry, but is Hora dead?

I'll write his post for him.

Hora - facinatedwithmymember

Never understood men who date younger women. What's the appeal? Some Daddy thing probably. I'm brilliant in bed and have had loads of women, more if I wanted. Man up and grow a pair.

Have you got a car for sale?


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 7:57 pm
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This was always my break up song. Never failed to cheer me up.
Hope I don't need it again!


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 8:46 pm
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You met her in April, she dumped you and now you can't get over it??!?!

It's early July Ffs!!!

As someone else has said, get a grip. If I split up with the wife it'd take me a while to get over it, but then I've been with her nearly 19 years.

Surely this can't be real, or you mean LAST April...


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 8:52 pm
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I never realised I was in the presence of such [s]emotionally detached/ full of crap[/s] awesome men!


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 8:57 pm
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Surely this can't be real, or you mean LAST April...

Don't judge people by your own standards! Some folk fall fast.


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 8:58 pm
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I'd suggest maybe some sort of attachment issues going on...


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 9:00 pm
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Could be the case. None of us really know but the point of this shirley is to help the guy get on with his own shit.


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 9:04 pm
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If I split up with the wife it'd take me a while to get over it, but then I've been with her nearly 19 years.

So it's taken you "nearly 19 years" to get really fond of her?

Or are you saying that you've become institutionalised and don't know how you would cope on your own?

Either way it's irrelevant to the OP's situation.


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 9:04 pm
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A split a month into a 'relationship' surely shouldn't leave one party feeling like the OP does unless there are some unaddressed underlying emotional issues going on. But that's just my musings.


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 9:09 pm
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It was actually 2 months into the relationship. The early stages of a relationship are often extremely intense, and I don't know but the OP might have felt that he had finally met "the one".

Bearing in mind those points I think it is perfectly normal to feel devastated if the relationship suddenly comes to an abrupt halt, specially if the devastated person feels there has been no acceptable/understandable explanation.

It certainly doesn't suggest that the OP has some abnormal "emotional issues" ffs.


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 9:21 pm
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We are each entitled to our opinion. Seems completely ridiculous to me, to be devastated after 2 months of a relationship. Although come to think if it I do remember a similar situation myself, but then I was 16.


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 9:28 pm
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It was actually 2 months into the relationship. The early stages of a relationship are often extremely intense, and I don't know but the OP might have felt that he had finally met "the one".

Bearing in mind those points I think it is perfectly normal to feel devastated if the relationship suddenly comes to an abrupt halt, specially if the devastated person feels there has been no acceptable/understandable explanation.

It certainly doesn't suggest that the OP has some abnormal "emotional issues" ffs.

My thoughts exactly, well said.


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 9:28 pm
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3 months?

soft lad, grow up - you sound like a 14 year old.


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 9:30 pm
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We are each entitled to our opinion

Agreed. But maybe keep the keyboard psychology out of it?

Although come to think if it I do remember a similar situation myself, but then I was 16.

Maybe your last experience of this kind of relationship was when you were 16. Fair play. Maybe you met the one a year later and it was happy ever after. Maybe you are single and don't want a relationship. Who knows. It does sound like the voice of minimal experience though. Just my opinion of course.


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 9:38 pm
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TL;DR: Looks like OP lived more in three months than some have in years.


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 9:41 pm
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soft lad, grow up - you sound like a 14 year old.

You know some strange 14 year olds. I would expect a 14 year old to get over a crush in about 2 days, one week top whack.


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 9:41 pm
 hora
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You've been out with her for <6 weeks?

It didnt work out. Get a grip.

Whats your history on relationships?


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 9:53 pm
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๐Ÿ˜€


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 10:06 pm
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Ok - speaking from the heart more than I need to, but firstly this thread has cheered me up no end, as has chatting to a couple of friends tonight...

Secondly, in 38 years I've had my share of the fairer sex & I have never ever felt the way I did about her or had such an intense, relationship as this one, this was that unobtainable movie type of love, every time we kissed, every time I got a message from her I got excitement, I did actually feel like a 16yr old. Then with no warning that was taken away - 2 days before she was pointing out to me what sort of engagement ring she would want...

I can see now, that she is clearly mad as a batch of frogs, insanely hot, super, super dirty. I in all honesty don't think I will ever meet anyone like her again, I'm OK with that.

I'm moving on, I want to move on, I just hate myself for slipping back & dwelling on things a little to much.

& I've probably listened to this too much....


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 10:07 pm
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Maybe your last experience of this kind of relationship was when you were 16. Fair play. Maybe you met the one a year later and it was happy ever after. Maybe you are single and don't want a relationship. Who knows. It does sound like the voice of minimal experience though. Just my opinion of course.

When I was 16 I was, like most 16 year old, emotionally immature. Fall in 'love' quickly and feel unduly hurt when it ends.

It's just a little 'unusual' to hear a person in their late 30's talk about being devastated after the breakdown of a 'relationship' that is measured in weeks not years.

OP, please accept my apologies if my contributions to this thread have offended you.


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 10:10 pm
 hora
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You are having a midlife crisis brought on early by a 24yr old.


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 10:15 pm
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Go faster +1 - was trying to articulate that but you hit the nail.

I met n propose within 2 months - 20 years and 2 kids (one head boy, one headed for uni) later - who knows how it could've been if I/she dumped me in 2 months.

T'is better to have loved a short girl, than never loved a tall!

OP - man up, move on and think that this is one of those times in your life when it is better to be alive and hurt, than not feeling anything!


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 10:18 pm
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OP, please accept my apologies if my contributions to this thread have offended you.

Not at all, everyone is entitled to their opinion, as I've said previously this thread has made me feel loads better, stopped me dwelling. I've a few other things going on as well, that are probably contributing to the whole thing, essentially living in a shite town for work purposes away from friends & family, so the general feeling of isolation is probably contributing to the relationship feeling.


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 10:19 pm
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It's just a little 'unusual' to hear a person in their late 30's talk about being devastated after the breakdown of a 'relationship' that is measured in weeks not years.

If someone requires to be in a relationship for several years before they feel devastated if it comes to an end, then I would call that a little 'unusual'. And imo that would suggest some attachment issues.


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 10:29 pm
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๐Ÿ™„


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 10:31 pm
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๐Ÿ™„

I'm sorry if I've offended you by suggesting that it's a little 'unusual' for someone to require several years before they feel a very strong attachment to their partner, and that there's possibly some attachment issues. Please accept my apologies if my comments have offended you.


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 10:51 pm
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Nope. I wholeheartedly disagree with just about everything you've said. But I wouldn't let it worry you.


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 10:56 pm
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I don't think timescale has anything to do with it.
I'm sure you can fall in love with someone very quickly if she's 'the one'.
It's going to be tough, and probably won't ease until you find someone who can replace some of the feelings you had with her.
There are a lot of ways to meet new people these days, so tap into these, but don't put pressure on yourself to forget her completely and move on. Remember the fun bits and learn from them. You'll be fine.


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 10:59 pm
 hora
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OP is she seeing someone else now? If so write some poetry, drink some good liquor and move on.

Anyone remember the movie Swingers? Great film with one ofthe central characters dealing with heart ache


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 11:04 pm
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stop it

you're killing me


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 11:14 pm
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Op,

I understand you are hurt very much but let's not forget the details coz that might be the cause of your problem.

How many times did you boom boom her? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 11:20 pm
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As I keep telling my housemate who has just broken up from a long term relationship - go have casual sex. A friend with benefits etc.

Had some great sex with people where there was mutual no desire for anything more and it's great for showing you there is plenty more fish in the sea and they werent that great anyway. And did I mention you get plenty of fun sex?


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 11:35 pm
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a dose of the best band in the world should do the trick.


 
Posted : 08/07/2015 11:42 pm
 hora
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OP go see a relationship councellor to get over your six week relationship?

See what they say? (Get the **** out of here?)


 
Posted : 09/07/2015 6:41 am
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Sorry, but is Hora dead?

This actually brung tears of joy to my little eyes.

And then it began...

Whats your history on relationships?

You are having a midlife crisis brought on early by a 24yr old.

write some poetry, drink some good liquor and move on.

go see a relationship councellor to get over your six week relationship?

Dude, you're amazing. Can we have a brief-but-intense fling sometime?

๐Ÿ™‚


 
Posted : 09/07/2015 7:59 am
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that she is clearly mad as a batch of frogs, insanely hot, super, super dirty

I'm actually feeling a sense on loss on his behalf now! No wonder you are gutted.

It will never get better, you will mourn this loss for ever. Live will never be in colour again, just shades of grey (until you find another dirty little minx)


 
Posted : 09/07/2015 8:11 am
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No wonder you are gutted.

It will never get better, you will mourn this loss for ever

This sounds about right. IME, your mid-30s is about the time when you start to realise you've peaked, your "potential" is a regret, not a promise, and you're probably never going to [i]feel[/i] anything again through the blanket of mediocrity and sadness that starts to envelope you. Other than bitterness, boredom and panic, obviously.

To have 6 weeks of mind-blowing sex with someone gorgeous that you really love, then to have it snatched away and be back to being 38. That must be devastating. A sort of "dead cat bounce" of youth, crashing back into middle age. Horrifying.

Ho hum.

๐Ÿ˜€


 
Posted : 09/07/2015 8:21 am
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Do what any young stud would do and go and visit Dr Jerkoff several times a day ,the situation will be under control be and all in hand!!


 
Posted : 09/07/2015 8:40 am
 DezB
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BigDummy is wise beyond his username.


 
Posted : 09/07/2015 9:05 am
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Big Dummy is on fire at the moment, I'm enjoying his work on the various threads he's popping up on ๐Ÿ™‚

OP - sounds like you had an awesome time, try hard to have an equally awesome time doing other things. Everyone has "the one that got away" yours will just be more awesome than most ๐Ÿ™‚


 
Posted : 09/07/2015 10:04 am
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Op - recently (last 3 weeks) broke up with my fiance and partner of 8 years.

Was more of a shock to her but to me it had been slipping and failing for a while.

However it wasn't until I was packing up the house that it hit me what I had given up/the life that had ended.

Keeping busy helps, making sure you are doing the things you enjoy (riding etc) plus surrounding yourself with mates. It will always will be tough but keep moving forward (have just unpacked myself into a tiny maisonette).

That said if the pain is still too great filling it with coke and hookers ftw does sound fun!

For me though riding and mates all the way.


 
Posted : 09/07/2015 10:25 am
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[i]This sounds about right. IME, your mid-30s is about the time when you start to realise you've peaked, your "potential" is a regret, not a promise, and you're probably never going to feel anything again through the blanket of mediocrity and sadness that starts to envelope you. Other than bitterness, boredom and panic, obviously.

To have 6 weeks of mind-blowing sex with someone gorgeous that you really love, then to have it snatched away and be back to being 38. That must be devastating. A sort of "dead cat bounce" of youth, crashing back into middle age. Horrifying.[/i]

Good work Bigdummy....we don't see much creative writing on here, so this deserves a post of the week nomination!


 
Posted : 09/07/2015 10:53 am
 DezB
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[i]creative writing[/i]
Isn't that the term for fiction?


 
Posted : 09/07/2015 10:58 am
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The future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.


 
Posted : 09/07/2015 11:47 am
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You'll just be getting over it in a few years and then someone will post about the subject on an internet forum and the pain will come flooding back.....................


 
Posted : 09/07/2015 12:30 pm
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