Anyone done it? Any regrets from doing it?
I’m noticing more and more traits in myself that lead me to wonder… I have work benefits that will cover an assessment if I get a referral, so is there any downside?
One of my children has been recently diagnosed at 34. They are partially in mourning for the person that they could have been all those years ago if they had been properly medicated. They are also demonstrating a fierce ability to get things done that was previously missing in their life.
My sister was diagnosed aged 40 - prior to this her diagnosis was personality disorder. She was always ‘different’ to her siblings and the ADHD diagnosis fits better than PD, on reflection. The diagnosis has helped come to terms better with who she is, how she thinks, and the challenges she has, as well as the meds and CMHT input.
Ensure it meets NICE guidelines, if your seeking medication from your GP it might be worth checking in with them that they'll prescribe on the basis of a private assessment.
My sister was diagnosed at 46. I think it's been good from a self-understanding point of view, although it's been tough for her to reflect on how useful that understanding would have been had it come earlier. She can't have any meds unfortunately, as they wouldn't play well with her high blood pressure.
For me, hearing the news was a bit like the end of The Usual Suspects - just a huge number of lightbulbs coming on at once. It really should have been obvious on reflection.
My son has at 24, but with typical issues of his condition, isn't following up any treatment. We've tried with Doctor's appointment but locally the NHS has farmed this out to a third party that means engaging on-line, and the company signed my son off six months ago as he hadn't engaged - erm he has ADHD ? It's hard getting help.
There is no magic fix though. Meds might help him but he's terrible at keeping on top of stuff - he'd had T1 for 10 years, and despite being on a closed loop insulin pump, his HBA1C is in the high 80's - he just eats crap, never tells us when he's home, then won't eat what we've cooked. The main issue is he can't hold his IT jobs down for long - doesn't like being told what to do, doesn't like having to keep to a time table - shocking time keeping etc etc. It causes a huge stress for us trying to help him. He's got way worse since reaching adulthood - as a kid it was just being a kid !
He's got a real bad hoarding issue, especially with car bits. The nice car we bought him, he stripped and turned into a track car (not road legal now), then he bought a 3 series BM for towing etc - that's now off the road with a dead clutch. Then to top it off, he turned up with a knackered Aygo that he's very slowly turning round to make a reasonable profit on. As 'his' cars are usually in a state of knackeredness, we pay and maintain another old Aygo for him/daughter, jus so he's mobile for a job.
He still hates us.
There is no magic fix as an adult, and getting help takes a long time. We've so far found employers aren't accommodating of ADHD issues, one recently turned round after he started and said we can't cope with your conditions (ADHD and T1) and dismissed him - I know it's illegal, but companies don't give a shoot.
Good luck, it's a long process.
@oldmanmtb2 - your post made me chuckle, your not allowed to be "with" autism these days or to refer to it as "Asperger's" but the reflection of this is in your name and age.
The "with" bit indicates it's something you can be without, the "Asperger's" bit is about his links with the Nazi party.
It's currently all a very woke topic with the autistic community, which is having a positive impact on awareness and acceptance once you get past their incessant attention to the finer details and nit picking (pun intended), the wording and terminology within the autistic community is very debated, bottom line is it's person specific.
I think that a lot of your (our) generation are pretty miffed when the light bulb comes on.
I was diagnosed when I was a young teenager, but mum had the fear of god put into her about the treatment from a ‘friend of a friend’ and took me off it.
ive since gone back to a GP, who promptly gave me a list of things I needed to do to get a diagnosis. Have private health from work, but ADHD stuff is one of the only things it doesn’t cover…
Seems like a rather ironic joke really.
Turn 32 next week and have been waiting on a list to be checked for probably 3 years now, I forget exactly how long (there’s a surprise).
It’s currently all a very woke topic with the autistic community, which is having a positive impact on awareness and acceptance once you get past their incessant attention to the finer details and nit picking (pun intended), the wording and terminology within the autistic community is very debated, bottom line is it’s person specific.
Not ADHD, but received an autistic diagnosis at 48. Agree with the above, and for me, I prefer to say think I am autistic rather than think I have autism, just seems to make more sense. Maybe it's a bit like saying I am white rather than I have whiteness. Feel comfortable discussing it with strangers on the internet, and with my partner, and so far avoided it with everybody else. Did bounce around a lot between feeling positive and negative about it as the weeks went by after receiving the diagnosis. Went through quite a long phase where everything seemed more difficult, big lack of motivation to do the things I usually do, not quite feeling like my usual self. Come out the other side, back to my normal lol. No regrets, definitely helped with understanding my young children better as they were diagnosed before I was.
Diagnosed through work. Has helped with work to explain/understand things but has made no difference outside of work.
I would say it's well worth getting a diagnosis as a step in the right direction. I don't have it but two friends of mine did., one still does One was diagnosed 20 years ago but it was too late for him he wasn't able to get help partly due to his lifestyle and partly due to the very patchy provision He died of an overdose The other guy is currently in "the big house " but has been diagnosed recently and is on a treatment programme which he says is helping.
So yes a diagnosis can help but then you need to engage with any programme of treatment which is not easy and not always successful. Also sometimes there's just no help available as services are either overwhelmed or only exist on paper.
Turn 32 next week and have been waiting on a list to be checked for probably 3 years now, I forget exactly how long (there’s a surprise).
Mental health is so poorly provided for here that we ended up paying for a private diagnosis (£545). Top tip is don't go through a London based organisation as there's a bit of a premium for this find a locally based specialist and get on their list. Care ADHD come recommended, good luck with it @airvent.
ADHD 360 are very poor anecdotally.
her diagnosis was personality disorder
And what one of the 10 different personality disorders has ADHD replaced out of interest?
My guess would be the ADHD is in addition to EUPD, especially if she is still care coordinated within a CMHT.
Diagnosed just over a year ago. This was done through work private healthcare, initially badged as an investigation to rule in or out certain things, ADHD, low mood etc. It covered a full ADHD assessment in the end and was done by a consultant psychiatrist.
Thought beforehand I'd take medication, but then read the side effects of what I'd be taking. Plus no alcohol or caffeine allowed. These can increase side effects or affect the rate of release of the drug. I decided not to go for it.
Now reconsidering medication at least as a short term option. One major factor is we are sure my son has it (that's what set the whole journey off). He's yet to be diagnosed but his behaviour is definitely ramping up a bit now. I need to "present" to help him and my family.
Despite the downsides of ADHD, there are positives that can come with it. Hyperfocus is a super power, but only if you can direct it to something useful!
At work I'm known for being able to take a sideways look at things and see a much wider picture than others. I don't know for certain if this is directly from the condition or from coping abilities developed through life, but I favour the latter.
I'm not going to lie, the condition doesn't make life easy for you or those close to you. Getting a diagnosis did help attribute and understand things better though.
Diagnosed with Aspergers at 55, wish i never bothered. Lost most of my “masking” skills, and yes you end up regretting all the decisions you made because you “thought” that was what you had to do.
Would have helped at 20 not at 55.
Yeah, existential nightmare. I was diagnosed with Assburgers aged about 30(56 now) and it didnt help that much to my views on life previously. Actually, I think its taken 10+ years to come to term with it.
Regrets ? I've had a few ...
I should do it. I posted about it a while ago. But I've not got round to actually doing anything about it. I guess that's the problem in a nutshell! Part of me thinks "well, that's just how I am. I'm 48. Can I change now? Should I change now? I think I'd function better. It's the months of appts and the cost that puts me off. And the thought that I could be prescribed meds instead of drinking stupid amounts of coffee every day just to try and remember things and to be able to focus without drifting off on a side mission. Classic example last night. Wife asked me to put the ice cream away. I said OK. I put the kettle on. Went for a wee. Got some clothes off the line. Remade the bed with clean sheets. Made a cuppa. Noticed the ice cream on the side. Opened the lid and found it 50% melted. Just seemed like it was 2 mins since my wife asked me.
for our off-spring it was BPD which is a regular mistake.
Yes, its all too common nowadays to meet someone with BPD/EUPD who has also picked up an ADHD diagnosis too. A common trait we see working with people with BPD/EUPD is that they typically draw in lots of support services and diagnosis's as part of their difficulties regulating their emotions, so maybe that explains the ADHD dual-diagnosis too ..
ADHD symptoms (in my opinion again) is too easily Googled, and with just a little reading up, can quite easily get you a private diagnosis.
ADHD symptoms (in my opinion again) is too easily Googled, and with just a little reading up, can quite easily get you a private diagnosis.
Do you imply people are faking it to get a diagnosis? For what purpose would they do that?
EDIT: or do you think ADHD diagnoses are masking BPD/EUPD being diagnosed?
Might find this'd interesting https://emergentdivergence.com/2024/11/06/the-link-between-autism-and-borderline-personality-disorder/
Yes, its all too common nowadays to meet someone with BPD/EUPD who has also picked up an ADHD diagnosis too. A common trait we see working with people with BPD/EUPD is that they typically draw in lots of support services and diagnosis’s as part of their difficulties regulating their emotions, so maybe that explains the ADHD dual-diagnosis too ..
ADHD symptoms (in my opinion again) is too easily Googled, and with just a little reading up, can quite easily get you a private diagnosis.
Can you clarify what you are actually trying to say here?
Do you imply people are faking it to get a diagnosis? For what purpose would they do that?
EDIT: or do you think ADHD diagnoses are masking BPD/EUPD being diagnosed?
Yes. Financial or employment reasons are typically two reasons.
Masking is not a word I like, it's often a term for a lazy assessment. There are core differences in the diagnostic criteria between the two conditions. So no, ADHD symptoms would not hide those of EUPD.
BPD is a difficult diagnosis to confirm and generally the medical profession don't hand it out like sweets (from our experience). In the early years ADHD and BPD share some crossover which informs the reluctance, impulsive behaviours being chief amongst them. Our sufferer had a diagnosis confirmed in their late 20's.
This has since been put in abeyance while we see if the new medication helps stabilise things. So far so good and maybe the BPD will be rescinded at some point in the future.
@e-machine you're being borderline offensive and lacking in empathy. Maybe give yourself a shake and reassess your approach.
I have often wondered if I have ADHD, although I don't really have many "hyperactive" moments, I have lots of good ideas at work, but never follow them through to completion, and have lots of problems finishing a lot of stuff, at the moment . But the problem is I suspect that is due to never finding a working environment that works for me, and I suspect that is a lot of the problem, is ADHD really a common trait (perhaps a sizeable minority of people) that modern society just doesn't fit with any more, that the constraints of the modern workplace just exasperate and are unable to use people properly for their character and skillset.
Do you imply people are faking it to get a diagnosis? For what purpose would they do that?
For me I wonder if I am looking for an external reason (or excuse) for my behavioural traits, prompted by this thread I did an online assessment yesterday, I thought it would have been very easy to guide my answers to the result I wanted, of course when I got to the end it revealed I needed to pay for the results so **** it off. Maybe I am only slightly affected, isn't that the whole "spectrum" part of such diagnosis, I used to think it was just part of my dyslexia, I also have auditory dyslexia so phasing out in meeting and long conversations is quite common for me.
I would like some decent reading about the subject, not from a clinical viewpoint but for understanding and coping strategies that could probably help me whether I am or not.
I don't think it's that unrealistic that someone with undiagnosed ADHD and/or autism could end up as an adult with Borderline Personality Disorder.
An upbringing that treats you as a 'difficult' child, both at school and at home, is going to result in some unresolved issues in adulthood which could well manifest as Personality Disorders.
In fact, I'm beginning to wonder if most Personality Disorders are simply the result of trauma growing up with undiagnosed issues.
Personally, I was first diagnosed as being Bipolar. Then, about ten years later, as having Borderline Personality Disorder. I've always wondered about the BPD diagnosis since one of the main symptoms is fear of abandonment and idealisation/devaluation of people, neither of which I have in the slightest.
I started trying to work through the DBT process but I tend to get stuck or derailed. Even the 'life worth living' stage flummoxed me. If I zoom out and look at the big picture then nothing any of us does is going to matter as at some point all traces that humanity even existed will be erased. Therefore I'm left with the simple question, am I going to be on balance happy or unhappy for the majority of my life. The answer always seems to be that I will be unhappy, on balance. Therefore it's impossible to put forward a reasonable life worth living argument and if you don't have that then the rest of DBT is kind of pointless.
One of the most common take aways I've had from therapists is that I don't do things, think about things, or talk about things in the 'right' way. I'm really beginning to wonder if another condition is the reason for that.
Parents think I am ADHD (My dad most certainly is too) as does my partner, family and close friends.
I have zero interest in getting a formal diagnosis though, all that would give me is a label as I have no interest in medication and other than that how would a label help me to change my life going forward, other than for me to reflect on the past? (As others have said here)
We are what we are, in some ways its a positive, in some ways a negative - I find the fairly recent idea people with ADHD should get some form of benefit payment laughable, unless you are severely hampered in your daily function, which most aren't.
@MSP try googling adult DIVA form, you could fall under the old ADD, which is now termed ADHD Inattentive type. I have one or two hyper traits but not the 5 you need for a diagnosis of combined type.
I've just paid privately for the consultant & assessor, now on shared care meds via GP.
Agree its been, as somebody said above, a lot of lightbulb moments. Meds and diagnosis aren't life changing and I'm not looking for that but they do help with the impairments that come from having ADD. Memory issues, time blindness, lack of focus for the normal/mundane, emotional regulation, impulsivity, the list goes on.
Resources I'm finding helpful;
https://www.additudemag.com/ they also have podcasts and webinars.
Currently reading Chimp Paradox, 'chimps' and ADHD aren't the best mix so seems sensible to find some sort of control for it.
Mindfulness - apparently helps, on my todo list...
Regular exercise - yeah sometimes when I get time!
Phone control - some sort of app to remind you that its been two hours of doom scrolling and you needed to pick the kids up from school 10minutes ago (and no driving like Max Verstappen wont make the time up). You might also want to limit screen time, I know I do.
Thankfully I don't do regrets as you can't change the past but you can change what you do in the future.
Firstly - I'd like to caveat by saying i completely believe people do have ADHD, and that it can cause lots of life issues.
Parents think I am ADHD (My dad most certainly is too) as does my partner, family and close friends.
The thing people often get confused about is ADHD, and having traits that people with ADHD also have.
Many people get bored in meetings, or are forgetful in topics they don't care much about. But that's not all that's needed ot have ADHD.
It's a bit like saying "I've got a brain tumour because i had a headache once".
My concern with a lot of current private diagnostic clinics is they simply ascertain if you have traits of, rather than the full plethora of traits PLUS issues functioning.
DrP
Yes. Financial or employment reasons are typically two reasons.
There is no gain. Meds cost money (£100s a month) if you want them and you expose yourself to discrimination in the workplace from people who don't understand the condition.
As an Adult ADHD diagnosis is based purely on a person's history and current difficulties, then yes, you probably could quite easily fake it if you wanted to. But in my view there is nothing to gain from doing so.
I would like some decent reading about the subject, not from a clinical viewpoint but for understanding and coping strategies that could probably help me whether I am or not.
Delivered from Distraction is probably a good place to start. It has a screening assessment in it.
Just to add to my post - I'm 50 and diagnosed 6 months ago, three teenage sons and our middle boy has just been diagnosed the same as me (ADD). 'The only test he has scored 100% in' was his comment after the assessment.
Another book I've read and found helpful (more from a supportive POV, highlighting the positives) is:
My GF was diagnosed in the last year or so, and has found the meds to be very good for work.
Plus the self-knowledge side of it has been somewhat validating.
In the book ADHD 2.0, there's a description of what they see is going on at brain level based on MRI scans. There are differences between neurotypical and ADHD diagnosed people in the areas of the brain that are seen to be active when doing tasks. Neurotypical people can switch completely into the area of the brain that is for task work, while they've seen that people with ADHD get stuck between states with several areas of the brain being active, competing with each other. The switch for these brain states is in the cerebellum, which also does physical balance control. There is growing evidence that improving physical balancing skills (by various exercises) also helps with the switching of the task states in the brain.
@chakaping I have no idea, but that potentially would fit. Fortunately, he's still living at home so the only real costs he has are car insurance (10x what I pay being in my 50's) and this not being able to hold a job down isn't as serious as it could be. He's sort of slotted into a part time job with a car garage - just a few days a week as and when needed - somewhat casual, but it seems to be suiting him. Being in an office at prescribed times just does not work - he's the same in his personal life, just doesn't stick to a timescale. Some of the posts above, about being asked to do a simple task, but doing other stuff instead, is just the same with my son. Whilst he can be an absolute genius with certain tasks, he jet's very distracted, and jobs can take ages.
he can be an absolute genius with certain tasks
like building a track car? Most people, even perhaps those who are employed as car mechanics themselves would not attempt this.
The industry being created around the diagnosis and medication of people with ADHD must be staggering - as someone else stated on here they are likely way over-diagnosing people as being ADHD t00 which I feel reduces the ability for those that truly struggle to get the help they need in life.
I do wonder how many children are identified as ADHD when it could also be the reality of living in the modern world glued to a smartphone / smart TV full of apps designed entirely to distract and trap your attention away from tasks that are much more 'boring' for your brain all while consuming food filled with shit and not getting any exercise.
Brucewee - thanks for sharing that. It was interesting to read.
An upbringing that treats you as a ‘difficult’ child, both at school and at home, is going to result in some unresolved issues in adulthood which could well manifest as Personality Disorders.
We are products of our environment, and the coping mechanisms to difficult situations we learn when young shape our personalities as adults. We will all have traits of the various PDs - a PD diagnosis will only be given when they become amplified and troublesome in a person's daily life.
Dmorts - ADHD can enable a person to claim certain welfare benefits. For some that may be a benefit. An ADHD diagnosis may get a person in some work places to be eligible to reasonable adjustments .. maybe avoid the return to the office for example; this again could be a benefit.
*People have different motivations to seek a diagnosis, and I do not mean it's for those immoral reasons.
I've known I've had adhd for decades, but I've made no attempt to get diagnosed and don't mention it to anyone in person, because I still think most people see it as an excuse for being lazy and/or misbehaving (especially for children). I'd be far more productive wfh, I used to be able to get into a flow state, especially in the evenings, and get loads done. But I find this almost impossible in the office with its millions of distractions and people making endless teams calls at their desk.
It's kind of a depressing state of affairs, but the current trend for "mental health awareness" is entirely hollow in my experience. Many companies just hire some mental heatlh helpline and thats it. There's rarely any adjustments or flexibility.
My daughter had a mental health crisis recently. There was no help available except privately which costs 1000's of pounds. We had the same email with various breathing apps or pdfs of relaxation techniques over and over again.
ADHD is considered under-diagnosed based on the rates of occurrence in control groups vs actual diagnoses in the population. The industry diagnosing and medicating any condition is likely staggering if you focus solely on it. To get diagnoses, treatments and medication, someone has to make money from them. That's how the world works. One of the controls is regulation, but it's often slow to catch up. So yes people could and probably are being mis-diagnosed. However, if diagnoses are in general helping people to improve their lives then it must be positive overall. This is something the media seem to conveniently overlook.
I do wonder how many children are identified as ADHD when it could also be the reality of living in the modern world
I don't think the modern world is helping those with ADHD. But to be clear, if correctly diagnosed it's something fundamental in the person's brain. They will still have the condition if their environment is made less "complex" and then might find certain things easier.
Case in point, I might have been one of the few people who enjoyed Covid lockdowns (initially at least).
Interesting listen from Gabor Maté on ADHD:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6H1WpvvIA6bVpuSUmyg23Y?si=pq3-mU2lT9SAvanYNIB4jg
Dmorts – ADHD can enable a person to claim certain welfare benefits. For some that may be a benefit. An ADHD diagnosis may get a person in some work places to be eligible to reasonable adjustments .. maybe avoid the return to the office for example; this again could be a benefit.
*People have different motivations to seek a diagnosis, and I do not mean it’s for those immoral reasons.
So your real concern should be those willing to commit benefit (or other) fraud, and their reasons for doing so? It has nothing to do with ADHD specifically and the people doing this are likely very small in comparison to the genuine cases.
Gabor Mate’, MD has proposed that ADHD is NOT genetic or inherited but arises out of exposure to childhood traumatic events (as well as cross generational trauma that may be transmitted from parents to their children). Note that while Dr. Mate’ is a celebrity and medical specialist in general family medicine, he has not conducted or published any research in ADHD that I am able to locate. Yet he has appeared in various videos and podcasts, including the Joe Rogan Experience, pontificating his views of ADHD. In this video, I critically examine his thesis to show that Dr. Mate’ is not only wrong, but worse than wrong. He is worse than wrong because hundreds of research studies directly contradict his thesis, yet he continues to advocate these ideas, nonetheless. His propagation of nonsense in the mainstream media does real harm as it contradicts what the scientific literature is telling us about ADHD. Here I cite several research reviews, meta-analyses, and large-scale studies to show just how complex is the relationship of ADHD to adverse childhood experiences (trauma) and that having ADHD as a child can set one up for experiencing greater such events than would be the case for those who don’t have ADHD. I also explain the role of parental ADHD in not only genetically transmitting ADHD to their offspring, but of how parental ADHD may contribute to a more chaotic and even adverse family ecology that itself sets the child up for greater adverse experiences. In short, Dr. Mate’ and his ideas about ADHD arising purely from trauma and not being genetic in nature are foolishly simplistic and without any sound scientific basis. And, thus they are worse than wrong.
So your real concern should be those willing to commit benefit (or other) fraud, and their reasons for doing so? It has nothing to do with ADHD specifically and the people doing this are likely very small in comparison to the genuine cases.
You stated there was no benefit for people to seek a diagnosis of ADHD - I gave you examples. However, my examples were not intended to suggest these were the only reasons people sought the diagnosis.
You need to reread what I have written on this thread because it appears you have gone off on one. No idea why you think I would or should be concerned about benefit fraud .. not my concern how people live their lives.
For me a diagnosis at 55 of "Autism" and every thing that goes with that, including a realisation that you have lived a lie since becoming an adult is difficult to cope with.
I questioned everything and suffered a form of bereavement for a long time.
Its difficult to describe the impact of this, i ran close to the edge for a long time and it took every ounce of personal resolve to "stand still" and not let this thing destroy me. I have come to terms with it but the cost to me is worse than anyone in my family and friends could ever understand. You cant unsee this.
You stated there was no benefit for people to seek a diagnosis of ADHD – I gave you examples
@e-machine. Let's straighten this out. If you read my first post you will see that I thought an ADHD diagnosis to be beneficial, even though as yet I have not taken medication. I say:
...Getting a diagnosis did help attribute and understand things better though.
I then queried you on your statement
ADHD symptoms (in my opinion again) is too easily Googled, and with just a little reading up, can quite easily get you a private diagnosis.
by asking
Do you imply people are faking it to get a diagnosis? For what purpose would they do that?
EDIT: or do you think ADHD diagnoses are masking BPD/EUPD being diagnosed?
You responded
Yes. Financial or employment reasons are typically two reasons.
Masking is not a word I like, it’s often a term for a lazy assessment. There are core differences in the diagnostic criteria between the two conditions. So no, ADHD symptoms would not hide those of EUPD.
I responded
There is no gain. Meds cost money (£100s a month) if you want them and you expose yourself to discrimination in the workplace from people who don’t understand the condition.
As an Adult ADHD diagnosis is based purely on a person’s history and current difficulties, then yes, you probably could quite easily fake it if you wanted to. But in my view there is nothing to gain from doing so.
Is it not clear that I believe that there are no financial or employment gains from faking a diagnosis? If it isn't clear then that is what I intended
You responded
Dmorts – ADHD can enable a person to claim certain welfare benefits. For some that may be a benefit. An ADHD diagnosis may get a person in some work places to be eligible to reasonable adjustments .. maybe avoid the return to the office for example; this again could be a benefit.
*People have different motivations to seek a diagnosis, and I do not mean it’s for those immoral reasons.
To which I responded
So your real concern should be those willing to commit benefit (or other) fraud, and their reasons for doing so? It has nothing to do with ADHD specifically and the people doing this are likely very small in comparison to the genuine cases.
and your response
You stated there was no benefit for people to seek a diagnosis of ADHD – I gave you examples. However, my examples were not intended to suggest these were the only reasons people sought the diagnosis.
You need to reread what I have written on this thread because it appears you have gone off on one. No idea why you think I would or should be concerned about benefit fraud .. not my concern how people live their lives.
Now my take was that you were implying that people were faking ADHD diagnoses to gain financial and employment benefits. That's how it reads to me. If I'm wrong then I apologise.
Dmorts, apologies accepted.
It's easy sometimes to not see the wood for the trees.