Started the process for adoption around 18m ago, had a few delays due to the initial course being delayed and having a part time social worker appointed to work with us.(She was wonderful, if a little dizzy!)
Went to panel two weeks ago, verbally approved the same day, written conformation a week after, then twenty minutes after that email landed we get a call. We'd been matched straight away.
Had the child social worker and family placement bod round today, plus our own social worker and her student observing (and eating all the nice biscuits).
Three hours of questions about us and from us to them the child. They leave saying they'll let our SW know next week as pretty much everyone at the meeting doesn't work Fridays.
Hour later I get a call, I'm going to be a dad, I can't beleive it. We've got everything we could have hoped for and more (the child loves the outdoors!)
I'm buzzing, my partner is buzzing and my 8yo step daughter is even more excited!
Just needed to get that off my chest 😀😀😀😀
That’s awesome 😆
Nice, that's rad. I don't much fancy breeding myself but like the idea of adoption a bit later down the line 😀 Happy for you
The internet needs more news like this. Congratulations!
😁😁👍👍👍👍👍
We’re five years in adopting two boys. It’s been very, very hard. I would suggest looking into therapeutic parenting, it has helped us a lot. Make sure you get to know other adopters if you already don’t as it helps to talk to others that are experiencing the same things.
smashes like button
Not every hero wears a cape, excellent work.
Amazing news. You’re going to be a great family. All the best.
Fantastic.
The world needs more people like you.
Modern life is complicated, but love conquers all.
Such a good post, thank you
Lee, and all the other adopters and foster carers...thank you.
I work in children's social care...you lot are the best thing in a child's life.
You are amazing.
I know we've all but stopped asking, but this post is CRYING OUT FOR A LIKE BUTTON!. It got ever so slightly dusty in here, just a coincidence that it was the same time as I was reading your post, I'm sure...
You'll be awesome (and it's probably worth listening to those who've gone/are going through it, as above). We have friends who are both social workers and do the placing, so it's lovely to hear from the other side.
MrsSteve is a social worker - 25 years in child protection but about to move across to adoption.
People like you are amazing, giving kids the chance to have a fresh start. So many kids don't get that chance when they most need it.
It won't be easy, but neither is raising your own sometimes. Use all the support you are offered when you feel you need it, and I wish your new enlarged family all the best
Congratulations.
We were unsuccessful, but I am very happy for you.
As said above take all the help that's offered and keep us updated.
I feel a new bike will be a first purchase!
I feel a new bike will be a first purchase!
Better get one for the kid as well while you're at it!
My Father & his Brother (not actual brother) were both adopted from, as we found out later, pretty unhappy circumstances.
It's people like you & your wife that enable the children, like my Father & my Uncle, to lead happy, fulfilling lives, around people who love them & care for them.
The world is a much better place for people like you & Mrs LeeW, so a simple but heartfelt Thank You from me & my family.
Nothing to add other than I wish you and your family all the best. A truly great thing that you are doing.
Congratulations! There's too many children living in care whose life chances would be enhanced by being adopted by a loving and supportive family.
You're amazing!
Our friends have adopted. Like others have said, it can be tough but you've given some one a chance for an amazing life, full of love, opportunity and security. Cherish it.
Congratulations Lee... I'm about 3 1/2 years into it here with my boy. It's amazing but such very hard work!
I'd echo what orangewinger said above, start reading up now on PACE and therapeutic parenting. Also, make sure you keep in contact with your post-adoption support people, and make use of any courses available to you. The more help you can get the better.
I still remember how it felt to be on your position... it was amazing... looking back on it now though makes us feel a little nieve as really, as hard as it had been getting to that point it really was only the start of the hard work!
Oh, and I know some of that might sound a little negative, but it's not meant to be, just realistic as to what it was like. Would I do it again? Hell yes as my son is bonkers and brilliant and I love him to bits...
Anyway, congratulations again, and if you ever need any help, advice or even just a shoulder who understands to cry on then am always more than happy to help.
Brilliant news, well done. I suspect the hard bit starts soon, parenting is tough even when the kids have smooth starts to life. I have no idea how this chat bored could help but if it can let us know!
Post of 2020. 🙏🏻
Congratulations, we’re two years in after adopting our twin boys. Hard work but worth it.
Congratulations Lee, what an awesome post to read.
Congratulations, it's our 4 year anniversary for us and our adopted daughters tomorrow. Simultaneously the most terrifying, awesome, difficult, happiest thing that's happened to us.
It can be tough, so having some people who understand it is good - other adopters really as your mates/family probably won't understand what you're going through.
TBH I feel a bit embarrassed when people say "it's amazing what you're doing" because we're just a normal couple that couldn't have kids, so got some second hand. But you know what, we are - big high five to the adoptive dads!
CONGRATULATIONS! I third what Orangewringer and funkynick said re therapeutic parenting and attachment disorder. Our two turned up eight years ago and we wouldn’t change a thing, well, maybe one or two things.
Feel free to PM if you need anything and definitely spend time with other adopters.
Congratulations 🙂
Yeah, the single best post I've ever read on STW, brilliant. Turning another human's life from bad to good. I'm in awe of you.
Fantastic news.
It’s a great thing to do.
Congrats. We got told to go away and do a lot more reading & voluntary work before they'd even put us in the pipeline.
I read the posts on the NATP facebook and the whole thing scares the crap out of me now. What you are doing is a brave and special thing.
Congratulations!! What a great thing to do 🙂
Brilliant! Lots of respect to you both and wishing you all the best for the times ahead 👏😊
Well done you and your oh. An incredible thing to do. Best wishes for the future for your growing family.
Well done!
Fantastic! Many congratulations!
Nice.
Great news and well done. We adopted our little girl when she was four and half months old, she turns five at the end of this month. She has been amazing since the day she arrived, looked up from her car seat and smiled at us. We did fostering to adopt so for the 1st year or so weren't sure if she would stay with us or not which was hard to deal with. I'll echo some of the points above, its the single most amazing thing we have done. She is so loving and can be very challenging, its certainly hard work but also very rewarding and of course wouldn't change it for anything.
The 1st day on the adoption course we met another couple who we got on really well with, they now have 2 kids and we see them a few times a year, it certainly helps to have friends who have gone through the whole process too. Also, I don't see it as us being special, its more the other way around that this little girl has given us the family we wanted with all the highs and lows that entails.
Year 7 for us. It's been tough as heck at times but we carry on regardless.
Good luck.
Conratulations!
I always love reading posts like this to remind you how much love and good people are out there.
OP, that is totally awesome. Im adopted and i really cant think of how it would have worked out for me and my sister if we hadnt been.
The showering of unconditional love from Mum and Dad is a corner stone of my life and a role model for my current family unit.
Im 54 very soon and Id really really like to thank everyone who does this amazing thing and gives kids love and hope.
Ian
Contratulations! we have our 4th anniversary this coming Sunday for our 2 daughters. As others have said, take advantage of any post placement support - you will need it. Also, make sure the school is on board early. Get them to develop a plan and ensure the additional funding they receive is put to good use for your child
Congratulations chap.
Im adopted and i really cant think of how it would have worked out for me and my sister if we hadnt been.
The showering of unconditional love from Mum and Dad is a corner stone of my life and a role model for my current family unit.
There are no words, amazing post.
Nice one. Gone a flipping dusty reading that.
What age is your new un Op? Just out of curiosity.
Amazing news. We've done it took about two years in total from the initial sw coming to see us. Worth every moment of the roller coaster. Like you the first panel agreed and about a week later the matching panel. We were very lucky with our SW who always had our two children (brother and sister) in mind for us. The first time they give you a pen profile and then the pictures. Quite a bit of dust in my eyes that day. Before we started the timetable introductions me and the wife and SW were on a park bench and saw the children playing, that memory of a two wild haired children singing frozen and playing on the swing is permanently etched in my brain. Cue two little children few weeks later beaming smiles dragging along little suitcases. You'll have regular LAC reviews and then the official adoption ceremony with the Judge, our judge gave ours toys and got them to wear wigs to make it a fun day. I'll never get fed up of being called Dad. 6years on and everyday is amazing. Sad that they grow up so fast
We'll done and congratulations 👍
Sounds very like what me and my wife went through 6 years ago.
Slow process to start off with, then got approved at panel, and straight after our SW sat us down and told us about a little baby girl....
She's currently downstairs crafting a unicorn horn out of toilet rolls like her life depends on it.
Best decision we ever made.
Thank you so much for your messages, some wondedful comments amd offer which have really made me smile, and raise a tear.
It really is the first time I've felt proud of what we're doing.
She's a 2 and a half year old whirlwind Jekkyl and I can't blumming wait!
Bloody brilliant news LeeW. Wife and I foster and have had a couple of kids go on to be adopted, so very pleased it went so smoothly for you. We've two siblings who are staying with us long term for now. Our eldest (15) is due to land in New York any minute on a week long school trip which he's been super excited about. I've been showing his 6 year old sister where he is using Flight Radar tracker.
Made my day reading this.👍
Really need some like buttons on this forum.
Time for the STW post adoption group ride?
Time for the STW post adoption group ride?
That'd be a cracking idea! Can we bring the squirrels too?
And let him show me up??? 😁
Time for the STW post adoption group ride?
Like the sound of that.
I think there’s something about people who ride bikes that makes for a good adoptive parent. Willingness to put in the effort, suffer a bit and then get up the next day and do it all over again!
Bit overdue for an update on this, my daughter moved in 8 and a bit weeks ago. Bit difficult going through the introductions during lockdown, got stopped by police a few times asking where we were off to - they were genuinely brilliant. Unfortunately we couldn't do the usual things we're supposed to do during introductions, visits to parks, playgrounds etc. so we ended up living in the foster parents house a bit more than usual.
She'd lived with the foster parents for over two and half years, it had got to a point where called them mum and dad. difficult times as we tried to introduce ourselves as mum, dad and (the other half's 8 yo) big sister. Lots of early mornings getting to their house at silly o'clock for the morning routine then staying right through for the bed time routine. But we did it! 9am on the 3rd May we turned up, 30minutes later we were driving her home!
Being in lockdown and me being furloughed has helped hugely, being at home and not allowing anyone in the house meant the bonding process has worked beyond everyone's expectations. Couple of weeks of rocky bedtimes at first trying to break their routine but she's always asleep within 15min and always sleeps through to at least 6:30am! She eats and farts like a trooper - cool as we've got her potty training at the moment and those turtle breath clues are a wiffy god send! She loves dinosaurs, ducks and horses - is afraid of nothing! Loves the water, her scooter and balance bike!
We had a video call with the foster parents who clearly adore her, their only request was that we treat them like honorary aunt and uncle! (she was their first placement). We met them yesterday as advised by the Social workers and it was a blast! Feeding the swans in Stratford, she ran around with their other placements then waved them off, held my hand back to the car and asked if we could see the horses. That was the moment I knew she was mine. No real mention of foster parents since!
CBeebies is mostly great, got back in to Hey Duggie, Sarah and Duck is still brilliant. Kiri and Lou is genius, Justin Fletcher is still a cock and the Mum from Waffle the wonder dog is very cute, well worth putting up with the god awful show!
Down sides are I've spent a fortune on FB market place on stuff for both of them - found some absolute gems though, including £300 worth of Schleich for £50, and a massive box of Britains metal farm tractors for a tenner!
Two more weeks of this then we can apply for the adoption order.
Got very dusty in here
You & your partner are legends
Excellent update, and great that it's all going well 😎
We had a video call with the foster parents who clearly adore her, their only request was that we treat them like honorary aunt and uncle! (
We ended up getting really close to our daughter's foster parents, and in the end we asked them to be god parents to her.
They're like a 3rd set of grandparents, and we're so glad they're still in her/our lives.
That is brilliant OP - for you both and the child!
Brilliant news, and I’m really pleased it’s going so well. Those first few weeks are amazing.
Wonderful news - after 27 years in child protection, MrsMC has just moved to an adoption team, and the different kind of work and outcomes means she's a changed woman.
People like you are amazing. It's a hard road to go down, but well worth the journey.
Dusty. Well done.
Wonderful news – after 27 years in child protection, MrsMC has just moved to an adoption team, and the different kind of work and outcomes means she’s a changed woman.
I get this completely - and hats off to MrsMC as it's a bloody tough job - I believe all social workers have to do a minimum of two years in CP before they can move to the Adoption side which is a lot more heart warming. Our social worker is lovely, but a little bit dippy. Our daughter's Social Worker moved back in to CP over a year ago, and she's the complete opposite. Lovely but scary as ****! (she kept our daughter's case for continuity)
Jesus, the hayfever is bad this morning, eyes are terribly watery.
Awesome work OP, brilliant.
Nice!
Brilliant OP. Glad to hear things are going well.
Great work - well done to you both and all those doing similar wonderful things!
all the best and happy times for the LeeW family 😀 must have stubbed a toe!