As title really. The condition has recently come to my attention and may apply to people (adults) I know. Just wonder if anyone has any experiences/stories/tips to share.
Th only experience I have is with our neighbours kid, who likes to fight other kids with broom handles, metal or wooden doesn't seem to matter.
he also like to hit peoples cars with his sticks.
most recently I noticed him hitting our neighbours car with half a metal broom handle I asked him how he would like it if I smashed up his car, he denied it, his friends didn't and resulted in me going down to show him where he had dented the car... this turned into an 11 year old threatening me.. Oh how I laughed. he started screaming at me in the street to which i asked him if we should take this up with his father, this made him worse. He ended up being dragged off by his brother frothing at the mouth telling me he'd kill me. i never raised my voice once or used bad language also remained calm throug the entire proceedings after all its just some poor misunderstood unloved child.
His parents however don't care and are probably the root cause of his issues. chemical imbalance or not, no need for the behaviour.
When you say "may apply" what exactly do you mean? Have these people been diagnosed or you just fitting the symptoms into the only category you have heard of?
More details needed.
BTW. Part of my job is to diagnose ADHD. (I'm currently sitting in a classroom with 6 sufferers.)
Hi Tim,
One of my best friends sons suffers, he is an extremely bright lad in a high achievers group at school, but on the flipside, he is always in detention because his attention span is terrible, if he likes a subject and it is interesting to him he is the angelic child for the teacher.
If it is something he does not enjoy, he gets bored very easily and gets disruptive.
how many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb?
lets go ride bikes!!!!!
There's one I know of on here. He may be along soon to give you the skinny from the horses mouth (as it were...). 😀 😉
According to my wife (teacher of 20 years experience) - it is a massively and incorrectly over-diagnosed condition.
She says that the vast majority of kids diagnosed ADHD are in fact "badly behaved" but that sticking them on Ritalin seems like an easy solution for their parents.
I think she said that she has seen "a few" kids that she would class as ADHD.
My wife's cousin has it. She's not a delinquient.. just a bit of a nutcase - in a good way.
She struggles to contain herself a lot.
Right, well I might as well be honest - it's for own benefit. I have looked into mental health issues before, but recently read an article on it and it made instant sense to me. I'm now reading [url= http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0684801280/ref=ox_ya_os_product ]this book[/url] and I recognise around 95% of what is described.
I went to see my GP and he was instantly dismissive as (his words) "I doubt you could have got to a position in IT like you have with that condition." After I smothered the urge to punch him, I got him to agree to refer me up the NHS chain, although that is going to take several months.
So, some stories and some encouragement may help while I wait.
My mrs works in childcare she concurs with mrs RPRT
<Edit> pretty sure Mrs experience is parents that are convinced their kids have ADHD rather than misdiagnosis from healthcare professionals.
I can't give a particularily informed opinion, other than that my colleague thinks it's a universal excuse that means her son can do no wrong. "Oh, he's a wee sweetheart really, he didn't mean to break that other boy's jaw, he's just got ADHD."
What was the question?
Sorry, I got distracted...
pretty sure Mrs experience is parents that are convinced their kids have ADHD rather than misdiagnosis from healthcare professionals.
zackly
But alas the professionals sometimes capitulate for an easy life - like doctors handing out antibiotics when patients demand them but the symptoms say virus.
According to my wife (teacher of 20 years experience) - it is a massively and incorrectly over-diagnosed condition.
So, no doubt, she can prove the parents wrong by installing some discipline and order into the "badly behaved" ones, whilst any she can't control must be some of the "few" ??
......sticking them on Ritalin seems like an easy solution for their parents.
pretty sure Mrs experience is parents that are convinced their kids have ADHD rather than misdiagnosis from healthcare professionals
So are your teaching professional wives suggesting that parents have the [b]authority[/b] to diagnose their kid's condition, decide they have ADHD, prescribe them Ritalin, produce a statement of educational needs, and draw up and organise a timetable of learning support by themselves whilst the teachers and health care professionals stand on with no real input or involvement? 😕
But alas the professionals sometimes capitulate for an easy life - like doctors handing out antibiotics when patients demand them but the symptoms say virus.
I think that the process of diagnosis is a bit more complicated and drawn out than someone with a sniffle walking into a doctors surgery and getting shown the door with a prescription for some penicillin.
So, no doubt, she can prove the parents wrong by installing some discipline and order into the "badly behaved" ones, whilst any she can't control must be some of the "few" ??
Is that your experience of life? black/white right/wrong?
16stonepig - I can put you in touch with the lovely lady if you are interested, she's very helpful.
If that's a genuine offer, mol, I'd appreciate it, thanks. Mail in profile.
I have met kids that really did have some sort of disorder in this way and others for whom it was clearly an excuse used by parents for their failings.
It can be a nasty developmental order for sure
another aspect - I beleive its its a spectrum disorder - its not you either have it or you don't - you can have it with varying degrees of severity.
Woo! Had an appointment at the local trust today, and am getting referred to a dedicated ADHD clinic. That has put me in a really good mood.
It won't last long don't worry 😉
It won't last long don't worry
Coffee > keyboard.
Diagnosis for children in the UK comes after a lengthy process involving a Paediatric Psychiatrist and team. Questionnaires to parents and school, plus observations and interviews with the child. The answers are plotted on a chart which if it shows areas of significant match to ADHD will lead to a diagnosis.
ADHD is not an excuse for disruptive or violent behavior, it is an explanation as to why not everyone reacts in the same way, and why some people can't sit still in class, or react quickly and rashly when provoked.
@16stonepig - isn't it better to know a bit more about what makes you tick. Hopefully the clinic will be able to help.
It's good and bad. I've know I had weaknesses in certain areas for years, but always assumed that I could work on them through willpower and application.
Finding out that that is not necessarily true is a bit of a downer, but the knowledge that they are not all my fault is great (I used to be very very hard on myself when I failed), as is the thought that there is other treatment for them.
Yeah I would say that there can be positives to such a personality trait as there are for many others. People with extreme personalities of one form or another have contributed massively to science and art, I reckon.
Diagnosis for children in the UK comes after a lengthy process involving a Paediatric Psychiatrist and team. Questionnaires to parents and school, plus observations and interviews with the child. The answers are plotted on a chart which if it shows areas of significant match to ADHD will lead to a diagnosis.
ADHD is not an excuse for disruptive or violent behavior, it is an explanation as to why not everyone reacts in the same way, and why some people can't sit still in class, or react quickly and rashly when provoked.
My son has a severe Speech and Language Development Disorder. He is educated in Language and Communication Unit attached to a mainstream school. He shows strong Autisim and ADHD tendencies, but neither are strong enough to class him as diagonoised. It took 3 years of referrals, observations, psychiatrists etc to get him placed where he is now. We have been waiting for 7 months for a Occupational Health assessment so his teachers can write and impliment his Individal Education Plan.
It's not an excuse, it's reality for him and us. The professionals have suggested Ritalin for him. Maybe it's others expectations that he conforms to "normality" that prompted this. Not my desire to drug him so others are comfortable.
Sorry. Rant over.
Hey 16stonepig I have it. I come from an era which didn't have Ritalin to prescribe to kids. Since leaving full time education, I have dealt with it myself, and tried to hide it (with varying degrees of success at different times in my life). I have found that taking evening primrose oil and omega fish oils once a day takes the edge off feeling quite so crazy (take this with as much of a pinch of salt as I did when I read about it, but give it a whirl see how you get on)
mrs rkk01 works in this field - specialist teacher for ASD, Aspergers, ADHD, EBD...
Not wanting to undermine mrs RPRT, but in general, mainstream teachers are hopelessly unsuited to providing the support, encouragement and emotional framework that these kids require. The "it's just an excuse line" is beyond naiivety and verging on something far worse...
However, the diagnosis / ritalin thing is an issue. Many kids end up dosed up on ritalin because there are parents / carers / teachers who don't have the time / patience / understanding (in parents' case emotional strength / stamina) to provide a more positive emotional support framework to channel and focus the kids talents, energies and behaviours. mrs rkk01 finds it quite depressing when kids that can be reached and channelled just end up chemically locked away from the world in a drug induced torpor, ostensibly because it is an easier fix.
Regarding diagnoses, there is also a school of thought that argues some parents are pushy for official diagnoses because it pushes up the benefit cheque
ETA - sorry if this seems controversial.
FWIW - mol is spot on... the outstanding talent is often inextricably linked with some of these personality types.
It's not an excuse, it's reality for him and us. The professionals have suggested Ritalin for him. Maybe it's others expectations that he conforms to "normality" that prompted this. Not my desire to drug him so others are comfortable.
<Applauds>
Mrs B has had similar experiences as the teaching staff, and is continually frustrated at how long it can take to get children she knows from experience can be helped to get the help they need. Good luck.
My son has a severe Speech and Language Development Disorder. He is educated in Language and Communication Unit attached to a mainstream school. He shows strong Autisim and ADHD tendencies, but neither are strong enough to class him as diagonoised. It took 3 years of referrals, observations, psychiatrists etc to get him placed where he is now. We have been waiting for 7 months for a Occupational Health assessment so his teachers can write and impliment his Individal Education Plan
bigblackshed - this is what my wife does for a living. If you haven't - think about pursuing a Statement of Special Educational Needs / Additional Learning Needs. (mrs rkk01 couldn't possibly advise this... but I can 😉 )
Many councils don't let on about "statements" these days as it legally obliges them to provide the reqd services - which in turn costs money. They tend to fob off even the most determined parents, but it is worth pushing for.
What?
Thanks rkk01. My son does have a "statement". We are very lucky to have a place at the Language and Communication Unit.
Also my wife is a SEN Teaching Assistant so she deals with these issues 24/7. How she manages it????????
For an adult to be diagnosed as having ADHD, they need to demonstrate (themselves, or a family member completing a survey type series of questions) that they had it in childhood.
You can't be an 'normal' child, but be an adult with ADHD, if you see what I mean.
Additionally, for childhood ADHD you need to have 'trouble' in 2 of 3 domains (if I recall correctly) - work, home, school.
If you simply jack around at school 'cos it's boring' but are fine at home/with friends, and manage a job OK, then you don't have ADHD.
Personally - I do believe it exists and that the kids can have attention disorders (not all are 'naughty', mind...), but not all 'naughty kids' have ADHD....
Some kids are just born rotten and should be given a good hard spankin'.... 😉
DrP
Regarding diagnoses, there is also a school of thought that argues some parents are pushy for official diagnoses because it pushes up the benefit cheque
Also some folk like a label and some want to get special needs status.
I think some parents might want an excuse for their kids behaviours too...
mrs rkk01 works in this field - specialist teacher for ASD, Aspergers, ADHD, EBD...Not wanting to undermine mrs RPRT, but in general, mainstream teachers are hopelessly unsuited to providing the support, encouragement and emotional framework that these kids require. The "it's just an excuse line" is beyond naiivety and verging on something far worse...
This is my wife's experience too. She visits a variety of schools and there's wide variance between attitudes and experience of heads and mainstream teachers under them. One recent snotty remark from a head of a certain vintage >cough< was "oh, yes, well, I suppose that attitude [i]these days[/i] is that it's all about the [i]individual child[/i]"...
some parents are pushy for official diagnoses because it pushes up the benefit cheque
It's just not that simple: you'll not get DLA just by being a pushy parent that harasses a doctor into diagnosing a child with ADHD or ADD. It's not like hassling a GP to give you antibiotics for a runny nose.
Edit: can we add "and married to a SEN teacher" to the "STWers are secondhand Audi-driving, Aldi-shopping middle-aged architects" stereotype now? 😆
Some kids are naughty and some kids are wired up wrong and naughty its easy to spot the difference but hard to do much about it in a class of 30.
anagallis_arvensis - Member
Some kids are naughty and some kids are wired up wrong and naughty its easy to spot the difference but hard to do much about it in a class of 30.Posted 1 hour ago #
Doing the same job as A-A. I would agree. Of course as Konabunny says, nobody would ever view their childs behaviour as an excuse to try and get a disability allowance/excuse for crap parenting. 🙄
Ooh, I say, no need for the rolly eyes! My post wasn't at all saying that there aren't [i]some [/i]pushy parents who [i]try [/i]to pressure a diagnosis one way or the other (there are plenty that don't want their kids with The Label).
Also some folk like a label and some want to get special needs status.
Some people find a label helpful because it lets others know what to expect and how to avoid difficult situations, and "special needs status" gives legal protection under the disability act.
FTFY
the trouble with that statement is its dismissive, we can't do anything with them," there wired up wrong" As a foster carer I see a lot of children with behavour problems, but I've never met one thats wired up wrong...and some kids are wired up wrong
It's just not that simple: you'll not get DLA just by being a pushy parent that harasses a doctor into diagnosing a child with ADHD or ADD. It's not like hassling a GP to give you antibiotics for a runny nose.
Of course not, but it does happen. Sometimes for more benefit, sometime for "ease of management"
mrs rkk01 has had a number of kids whom she has been able to manage effectively and positively - with the supporting professionals (educational pscyhologists, doctors etc)agreeing that diagnosis / treatment not necessary, but once they had moved on from her class / environment they ended up diagnosed and drugged up on ritalin.
can we add "and married to a SEN teacher" to the "STWers are secondhand Audi-driving, Aldi-shopping middle-aged architects" stereotype now?
Don't like Audis 😉
In some ways, I am looking for a label (as well as some genuine help and treatment) because a label makes it easier for me to go to my employers and say "Look - I have this. It's manageable, and I can be a good employee, but it takes some working around".
I'm certainly not interested in benefits. The one thing I really, really want at the moment is to be a productive, creative, successful person, and a responsible friend and family member. That would be way better than any cheque (not that I'd be eligible for one).
As part of my job i assess for ADHD in children. We dont get "hassled" into diagnosis. We dont dish out meds for the fun of it. Equally ADHD medication is quite a clean drug, with little side affects and works almost instantly so you know whether it works within a day or two.
Most times we prescribe and families say thank you , what a difference in my childs presentation.
There are a lot of misconceptions around ADHD, its not just bad parenting.
16sp, now you need to quit your job and become self employed - probably an artist or something.. don't forget to blog about it.
Speaking in my capacity as a parent of a kid diagnosed with ADHD (& Aspergers & OCD), and therefore familiar with off-the-cuff comments on 'excuses for bad parenting', 'drugged up kids', etc, I'd just like to straighten up a couple of points.
Firstly, Ritalin is not given to kids to dope them into a stupor and shut them up. It's prescribed to iron out the hyperactivity and allow the kids to concentrate on tasks and function mentally like most other kids. Probably a poor analogy, but it's like taking a decongestant when you've got a cold so you can get on with your work without the distraction of bunged up sinuses. If a kid prescribed Ritalin for ADHD is in 'a torpor' then it's probably down to insomnia or exhaustion caused by the kid's condition rather then the effects of the drug itself.
Secondly, whenever I've challenged people who've made comments on 'excuses for bad parenting' and 'drugging up kids', etc, they've never turned out to have any close experience with a child with ADHD, they're just repeating what they've heard other people say or 'their sister's a teacher and reckons that 99% of cases are made up', etc.
I'm looking forward to the day when someone I challenge ends up making me look stupid and not the other way round 😉
As for the 'label' aspect, before my son got his diagnosis for Aspergers (his ADHD diagnosis came later) we didn't know what the hell was going on. The diagnosis, and, therefore, label, brought with it understanding, third party help and something we could begin to work from to make his, and our lives easier.
At the moment my son (aged 13) has had a reoccurance of severe OCD. He is tormented by the possibility of contamination from other peoples' body fluids and imagines irrational scenarios in which members of the public have coughed or spat at him and he has contracted HIV. He's walking around with his hood up looking like Kenny from South Park with thick wollen gloves on and exhaling loudly to blow anyone elses germs away from him. And I don't think that's down to bad parenting.
Right, apologies for any bad grammer and typos but I've got a bit of a head cold at present. I'm off to take some Lemsip and if it works within the next 15 minutes then I'll log back in and edit out any spelling errors.
Cheers,
Rich (Parent of two well behaved kids and one with ADHD and other troubles 🙂 )
Just had to resurrect this thread. I recently got yet another "self-help" texts on the subject. One of the self-assessment questions was "Do you love bicycles?"
Holy Thread Revival Batman!
I have a seven year old just going through diagnosis at the moment. Has both ADHD and aespergers traits. We just desribe him as "quirky" when people coment or look twice at his little ways or the things he comes out with.
He alternates between the most frustrating child you could meet and one of the most rewarding when doing maths or playing piano. Can take him twenty minutes to get his shoes tied to his satisfaction. Or he can learn a peice of music i struggle to play in the same time frame.
I have ADHD. I'm actually quite bright but my life has been blighted with the condition. I'd describe my life as scattergun. Dialled Mike clocked it years ago.
I would've done quite an extensive write up on my personal experience with ADHD but this thread is oldddd.