Like RichPenny, I'm the child of a broken marriage, 21 yrs. Split when I was about 14. If I can offer one bit of advice? Do not under any circumstances use your children as weapons against each other. There is, I suppose, an overwhelming urge to want to hurt each other, please try to be positive about each other to your kids. It IS the most traumatic thing that will ever happen to them, I'm 41, my brother (who went to uni so missed most of it) is in his late 40's, every-time we get together, the conversation will get round to our parents divorce, still, after all these years...Bear that in mind...
Hi Fitzy how are you today? Been out on my bike and been thinking about you & your predicament whilst riding. Took me back to this time last year - everything fine then bang - all gone pear shaped. Take each day at a time and don't rush into anything. You're not alone and a lot of us on here are rooting for you.
Perhaps we should have a single Dad's ride (And Mum's if you like Cinammon Girl), obviously not on a contact weekend lol 🙂
Fizzer, I'm getting better each day.
Monday was sort of a closure point that brought the whole lot into prospective. However, having all these virtual pats on the back have given me a sore shoulder - thanks anyway.
A singles dads and mums ride could have a lot of different meanings, but it sounds a great idea!
I'm normally a glass half full type of guy and will come through much wiser and hopefully my daughter will be too.
Cheers girls and boys, you rock!!
Even adult offspring can find it hard to deal with when their parents split, as I found out last year. My two (early 20's) didn't want to know me cos I was the cow that walked out (nobody else involved) and in fact I was estranged from the youngest for a good six months. That was truly upsetting.
You will really value your friendships and it can be surprising the kindness of people.
Hang in there.
I've just got a message from my daughter and she is staying tonight :0)
Also it seems that I get custody of the DVD player - things are looking up!
Good luck Fitzy.
Whilst not in the same league (i.e. kids involved) i went of the deep end last night, my depression came back for a visit when my guard was down.
I am a membe of a re-enactment group & i introduced the ex to this group 9yrs ago.
When we split she told me she wasn't going to be doing the events this yr so i thought i had a free run at getting back into it & renewing friendships that had been somewhat strained by the split.
It's my birthday this weekend & i was really looking forward to spending it at Stafford Castle. It turns out the ex decided to not only turn up at last weekend's event (that i only missed cos of a friend in trouble) but wants to go to this weekends one as well.
I do not, cannot be around her. I do not ever want to see her fat, bovine face ever again & she knows this. She also knows it's my birthday but she is determined to spoil it for me.
Not a good night.
Basically i've had a relapse & i think i need the happy pills again.
You too may find it coming back when you least expect it, but it WILL get better.
Simon I can empathize with that. Just when your guard's down you get a bad day and it hits you hard. I don't get many these days but felt a bit low two days after the court hearing when I found out the ex had been lying about what was said in court, made me out the perputator and all that. Not that it is anyone else's business anyway.
Just to put things into perspective, about 3 months after she left me, my Dad died. Going through that experience on my own made me realise that I could overcome the separation from my family.
Then I met a wonderful lady and tried to start again. Ended it after 6 months. Just too much too soon. Pity because she really is special and was/is a great help. Got on fantastic with my kids & me with hers, maybe in time who knows but I don't feel ready to commit yet.
Bring on Friday morning and the French Alps 😀
Hey Muddydwarf hang in there mate.
If you ever find yourself in Kent, give me a call.
Anyway, I have been telling myself that its her loss not mine - do it often enough and your start to believe it - mental conditioning I think its called.
Last night I briefly saw my ex, I didn't get all needy and sad but acted as though everything was good and I was enjoying being single again. Funny enough it was her that started to cry and lost the plot.
I'm glad the my daughter stayed with me last night.
Fizzer - that you Andy?
Drop me a line will ya, pc crashed & i lost all my e-mail address's.
Fitzy - good for you, hope you can keep up the good work!
Not sure what i'm gonna do yet - i don't need to spend my birthday getting uptight & upset because the FFF (Fat Frigid Frump) is in the vincity...
