I was having a chat in my local cafe recently. I've only be resident in the area for 8 years or so, so still finding out about the place recently. It came up in conversation that the village we were in - of about 2000 souls- being reasonably far from any towns manages to support two cafes, two little mini-marts, a florist, two hair dressers, and two chipshops and a pub. So about 10 businesses. Not bad - But someone pointed out that in most peoples memory there used to be 54 shops there. I thought that was amazing - you didn't have to leave the village to buy shoes, or a suit or a washing machine.
Being one-person / one product enterprises, in a spirit of cooperation rather than competition - it meant each shop had its own personality. The cafe we were in used to be a shoe shop where....
"you could get any shoe you wanted, but not in your size. You would however leave with a pair of shoes - either ones that did fit or ones you didn't want"
So..... on the STW High Street - who would sell what?
'Bear's Necessities' open all hours selling things you can't afford to run out of; bog roll, milk, single cigarettes, and insulin?
'Rusty's Paneer' single-issue cheesemongers?
"Hora's House of Hammers" ?
My surname is Branston.
Sponges.
Flashy would sell shoes. TJ helmets. Dez b would be in a record shop being condescending about your music choices.
fun
but not next to dracs shop
Cuddly toys
JiveHoneyJive would have the oddball bookshop, specialising in spy novels, political and conspiracy books....
I want the bike shop. Bike_outandabout.
Perchypanther would have the joke shop...
I would sell snake oil and patent nostrums
kayak23 would sell garden buildings.
mcmoonter delivers firewood and fine art.
“Hora’s House of Hammers” ?
I have nothing to add other than, that utterly creased me. Worth the price of admission for that alone, well played.
Perchypanther would have the joke shop…
or exotic pets
Purchase Panthers
I have nothing to add other than, that utterly creased me.
theres a vacancy in the shop next door for you if you want it
"Yes we have no Ban hammers"
"Cresser's the Doom Mongers": Bad News Agents
i think there would be a surfeit of graphic design companies.
Trail_rat has the garage....
i think there would be a surfeit of graphic design companies.
may require some to diversify....
"Binner-Binner-Binner's DAT Man!": Niche audio format retailer
Of course, with the time just gone 11pm its always the pub closest to the police station that does the lock-ins.
<closes the curtains, turn off the jukebox but conspicuously continues serving at the....>
Maccruisk Inn
Bike Forum Collective would run the clothing emporium "What Attyre For..."
"Baby Robbin'"
Appears to be a Creche but might actually be a bespoke adoption agency
Nobeerinthefridge
An off-license run by the Temperance Society
The only problem would be you couldn't get into any shops because of all the billboards..
fun
but not next to dracs shop
Don’t worry my shop would soon absorb yours.
MrLebowski's Bowling Emporium
MrWoppits pet shop.
Epicyclo guiding services.
Me? Birdwatching/Stalking paraphernalia.
OR
Drugs - legal, soon to be legal...maybe illegal...*shrugs*
I think "The Flying Ox" would make a fine pub name.
Zimmerframes.
one_happy_hippy = cannabis dealer?
Internet arguing-workshops.
Or a gym
cynic-alisthenics
I shall be selling old rope.
The finest artisan vintage ropes from around the world plus any other old rope I can find.
Guess i'm the bookies or the amusements...
I would sell hope and optimism (in schooners cos you couldn't afford a pint of hope).
I might also sell artisan trousers if I could find a supplier.
I shall be selling old rope.
Add a couple of fish to the stock and your shop could be called;
World of Cording, Two Carp
My shop would be offal.
World of Cording, Two Carp
Delete your account.
Funkmaster P’s music emporium. Seller of turntables, bass guitars and vinyl.
"Epicyclo guiding services."
101 rides no one wants to do on a fixed/folding/rudge
Delete your account.
*beams*
Molgrips could have a VAG tuning service and give advice on where not to try and take a caravan in the UK.
Freshly made Jam filled or ring only - certainly not custard filled
Cougar's Specialist Dating Agency
Local personal injury lawyer.
WorldClassAccidentHelpline.
Hmmm
A Scarfolk Council Crime Prevention Shop, featuring:
Child catching equipment and scary nursery design services.
Bicycle theft protection equipment, the permenant kind.
I’d be the shop that changes every couple of years, hardware, bikes, Tyres, fridges, beer, cars, tools are all something I’ve sold, not sure what’s next!
interesting that no one has decided to open a bike shop. I'll do that. I'll even match online prices.
Fresh Goods Friday clothes shop - complete with Will and Hannah in the window?
interesting that no one has decided to open a bike shop. I’ll do that. I’ll even match online prices.
Ahem. Out And About bikes was proposed on page 1...
Competition is good.
"Ahem. Out And About bikes was proposed on page 1…"
do you have:
a) customer toilets
b) espresso bar
c) settees
d) a framed Shaun Palmer jersey above the till?
CalmDoon cycles has all of these and more. first 100 customers get 20% off too. Im not impressed with your Decathlon-meets-Rapha look either. You'll be gone in a year.
Sandals and flipflops for the "Hairy" man..
...or woman
Mark's IT Server upgrade services.
"a VAG tuning service"
brothel! of course!
"TJ's Denim Emporium for the Over 25s"
one_happy_hippy = cannabis dealer?
in a previous life, now I have turned my horticultural skills to growing chillies and do a rather good chilli jam if I do say so myself!
Anyone dibbed the mobility scooter, vape and tattoo emporium yet?
"Anyone dibbed the mobility scooter, vape and tattoo emporium yet?"
nope. I've got a man with a mobile phone unlocking/accessory cart if you're interested though. He's keen so i can put you two together, quite the folio. Could make a killing.
Anyone up for going halves on the rent for Nickhit365 bookies?
Beds, beds, who's for a bed now?
My shop is called The Guns Shop. Sells muscle vests and protein powder. I would also like to offer a vag tuning service on the side.
Personalised window coverings, I suppose...
Pull yourself together!
Which could also be a self help group for onanists
Snacks and trail food from me.
I’m happy to run the back street gender reassignment clinic. My wife sayes I’m not a completer finisher. She’s got a point. I’ll get rid of it some day. But what can I say, I’m cheap.
Fishing tackle.
...... Or wetsuits and surf/body boards.
Food! I'd sell lots of food.
“a VAG tuning service”
For a sparkly VAGazzle?
I’m going to sell tomato juice and vintage pedals circa 1990-1999.
I guess I'd be the high rollin', golf playin', 'never able to get an appointment' Gigalo.
GP.
I meant GP.
DrP
do you have:
a) customer toilets
b) espresso bar
c) settees
d) a framed Shaun Palmer jersey above the till?
CalmDoon cycles has all of these and more. first 100 customers get 20% off too. Im not impressed with your Decathlon-meets-Rapha look either. You’ll be gone in a year
Nope, bit we do sell Cotic, Orange, Stanton, Hope, Royal and Endura...
Plus our jersey set is Rachel, Tracey and Peaty.
I've even got brochures for woodburners and Audi's.
Joe Barnes and Danny Mac do the spannering.
Ling's picture hangs in the loo.
😉
I'll be the Audi dealer.......no wait Skoda
Edit ... No I will not .... Beaten to it!
I could sell fire to the gods...
Or wood burners to the big hitters, at least.
Darcy's Carpets
Surfmats driving school?
Surfmats driving school?
"Here to help you progress"
Renton's Multicoloured Swap Shop (Under New Management)
MingTheMerciless - Hire A Dictator for a day?
<div class="bbp-author-role">BigButSlimmerBloke - weigh****chers</div>