So the big boys asks if we can go to the Skate park. We've been loads of time and I usually ride a skateboard there, let the boys get on with it and sit aside till it's time to go home but today I have a list Mrs has given.
The big boy asks if he can go on his own, it's not far, I say yes.
He's not gone a few minutes and Mrs asks where he is, I tell her, she GOES NUTS!!!!
Not just a little but properly into a mad panic!! He returns a short while later and everything is cool-ish!
How old were your off-spring before you let do things on their own?
I'm sure by the time I was 8 by the time I'd made made it out my postcode and even hitch hiked home once after a puncture ensured a lengthy walk home, but that was in the 70's.
furthest my kids go alone is about 1/2 mile but he has no sense of direction
FIrst few times mine went to the park alone I was bricking it but at his age i was going much much further [ and on a bike and on the road]
Just wait till he is 17 and he does not come home 😉
8 is a No from me... and yeah i have an 8 year old.
Do/would you let him walk to school on his own ? Our school is only 500m or so, no major roads, but it's still a no.
Times have changed.
In the 70's, my mate and me would regularly walk half a mile to the swimming baths, I had to lie about my age as you had to be 8 to swim without an adult and I was only 7. Seems unimaginable nowadays.
When I was 9 I rode 15 miles to my Grans house with a mate. When I got home my Mum didn't believe me when I told her where I'd been, until she saw Gran next time.
But this was 1965 when roads were quieter.
[quote=weeksy ]8 is a No from me... and yeah i have an 8 year old.
Do/would you let him walk to school on his own ? Our school is only 500m or so, no major roads, but it's still a no.
Yes I do let him do this
Its essentially a slow procession of lots of [ over protective?]parents walking their kids to school.
Worse than this he often goes on his bike....he is alone in that respect.
When I was a kid in Liverpool in the 70's I used to ride my bike about 10 miles every day. They found me in Glasgow.
How far away is this skate park?
My kids were allowed to go around to friends in the street at 8 but that was it, eldest 11 before being allowed to go down the street about 3/4 mike away. Both allowed at 10 to walk to Grans which is about 1/4 mile. We live in a small rural town.
Times have changed. No reason why this should be sadly.
I've no kids but I was walking to and from school alone from primary 1 at 5 years old. At 8 years old I could have been 3 to 4 miles away playing in the woods or a bit further than that cycling to friends houses. If you can't let an 8 year old kid walk 500m to school these days then I am even more thankful I don't have any. **** that!
its fear IMHO when my kids went out alone i was terrified [ often still am] counting the minutes till they returned and hoping nothing went wrong
I can avoid this fear by simply not giving them the freedom to do things that are not really all that dangerous that we all used to do
What we did as kids is a useless bench mark as to what is deemed acceptable for you to permit your child to do nowadays. Our eldest is 11 and started High School in September and since walking with a couple of mates each morning to catch the bus is now allowed to walk or cycle across the village to friends houses and to meet friends for a kick about on the field. The youngest at 8 is not allowed to walk/cycle to the village hall for her dancing lessons yet I can see the hall from our drive. I argue that they need little bits of independence for growing up but the wife is more concerned about what other parents will think. I understand that the world has changed since the 70's but is it really that bad out there?
that was in the 70's
Quite a few people have said similar. What difference does that make (other than less traffic)?
This story would be the same in my house. My daughter is now 7 and I made a comment a few weeks back that pretty soon she will be able to take herself to the Park (which you can see from a top floor window).
It didn't go down well...
I was 7 (mid 80's) when first allowed to go to the local park and shops - although my 8 year old sister was usually supervising 😕
It's paedogeddon these days though innit!
Sadly, most people live in fear due to the media, although I imagine the world is a much safer place for a lone child now, compared to what it was in the years gone by.
Was it the being out alone or the being out alone somewhere that (presumably) sees quite a few injuries ?
Sadly due to media coverage and parents fear of things that may happen, eg paedophiles, they existed many years ago and still do, but usually in controlled situations, schools,sports clubs,the catholic church, etc.
Traffic increases ad poor road designs,illegal parking and speeding all cause traffic injuries and deaths, the more vehicles people choose to use the more the above become more prevelent.
Then we have parents and their childrens inability to both understand and impart the dangers of crossing the roads or keeping safe on he highways, being aware of whats around them and dealing with it effectively. If the kids are ferried everywhere they soon learn road rage, from their parents and others around them and expect to be ferried everywhere and loose their independance, then just sometimes they are allowed some independance and in a very few cases something may happen.
Its up to each parent to decide whats a slight risk and whats not a risk.
It's paedogeddon these days though innit!Sadly, most people live in fear due to the media, although I imagine the world is a much safer place for a lone child now, compared to what it was in the years gone by.
That's where I was going with that question, yes. The idea that nonces are recent invention is, er, nonce-sense.
What [i]has[/i] changed since the 70s is that we are so very much better at reporting such crimes. Plus, we've got the likes of The Express cheerfully splashing "MUSLIM PAEDO GANG!!1!" headlines across the front pages of their toilet paper.
But is really any more dangerous? Traffic aside, I'd wager it's a great deal safer to be a kid playing out these days than it ever was in the rose-tinted 70s. Everyone has instant communication and video recording capabilities in their pockets, for a start. Hell, you could even GPS-track the buggers.
What we did as kids is a useless bench mark as to what is deemed acceptable for you to permit your child to do nowadays.
WHY?
Then we have parents and their childrens inability to both understand and impart the dangers of crossing the roads or keeping safe on he highways, being aware of whats around them and dealing with it effectively.
That's a very good point actually. When I was little we had Darth Vader telling us all about the Green Cross Code, whereas the current crop of kids are born of parents who themselves have no bloody road sense.
@ project
http://makingthelink.net/child-deaths-road-traffic-accidents
Cannot show graph for some reason but wirht a look
dropping every year this millennia and much lower than when we were kids
Its a perception not matched by the facts - though i do agree most folk think as you have said - no offence meant there.
Lots of fear-mongering media these days. Vast majority of abuse is by relatives or family.
Biggest risks to children (in no particular order) murderous/criminally distracted people in cars, early death due to obesity related issues caused by eating shite and not moving enough.
When we where kids we used to chop trees down, climb trees, build dens, walk around a lot, fight with the other kids, build go carts, get sweets and biscuits and pop off the old people down the road, get told off for playing ball on the grass,pick blackberries and sell them door to door, deliver papers, scrumpy apples and pears and get chased off,hang onto the back of buses,ride bikes and scooters everywhere,walk 3 miles to school every day and home in the rain and snow sometimes,go shopping for elderley neighbours.
all with few problems, do children nowadays do any of the above, think not, if they do social services get involved as theyre disfunctional , naughty kids etc
When I was 8 (back in the 70's) we were living in the sticks and my best mate lived on a farm about 3 miles away.
I regularly used to bike over to his on my own. I remember getting a set of bike lights so that I could come back after dark!
Building dens with the proper sized [small] hay bales in the barn. Very happy days of innocence.
That's a very good point actually. When I was little we had Darth Vader telling us all about the Green Cross Code, whereas the current crop of kids are born of parents who themselves have no bloody road sense.
That and Tufty club but we also had Rolf telling us to get into our swimwear. 😯
10 year old can go to school or village shop by himself. 6 year old is allowed to go to three friends houses all within 50m of home by himself to see if they're allowed out to play. Both/either of them are allowed to go to the swing park (across the road from our house) either together or by themselves as long as there is at least one other child they know there, they're not allowed to play there alone. They walk to school together, 6 yr old isn't allowed to by himself, and he gets collected as he finishes earlier.
And to answer the question ours where 8 or 9 local shops and park.
Had been there many times. We talked them the first couple of times then left them to it.
That said I know multiple folks whose kids hadn't been out alone until school Y8!
Times have changed.
I don't get this. Everything is much safer than when I was a kid in the 80s, so if anything kids should be running around even more. I used to walk myself to school (2.5 miles) at aged 10, no one batted an eyelid.
Crime is down, road accidents are down, pedos are down.... what's the issue?
Genuine question as I don't have kids (yet).
Biggest risks to children... not moving enough.
I wonder whether things like:
The youngest at 8 is not allowed to walk/cycle to the village hall for her dancing lessons yet I can see the hall from our drive.
... might have something to do with it?
I understand that parents want to be protective of their kids, there would be something wrong if they didn't. But I think there's a gulf of difference between perceived and actual danger, and this "it was so much safer when I was their age" guff needs to be challenged.
When I was little we played in abandoned buildings, on construction sites, on spare land littered with broken glass and worse, all places you wouldn't get within ten feet of these days. We rode bikes with no brakes (or helmets); we climbed trees and fell out of them; we had a park with spider-web roundabouts that could be spun up to [i]incredible[/i] speeds by kids in the middle, set into solid concrete. And of course, we walked to school.
And now little Hermione is a fat knacker because she's not allowed to walk 100 yards on her own, because thanks to the media people are scared to let their kids be kids.
That said I know multiple folks whose kids hadn't been out alone until school Y8!
Sorry, what's that in real money?
2 nd year at big school - 12-13 yrs old basically
Gotcha, ta.
Oh - I've emailed you, incidentally.
OH gawd what Have I done now
EDIT: Ah cheers
My kids have walked 1km to school and back since they were 4. Quiet residential roads, no pavements.
Not sure about skate park though. Risk of injury would worry me, but would depend on how sensible and experienced he was on a board, plus if there were friends or older kids around.
Mine are 8 and 6 and I'll cycle them down to the park but wouldn't let them on their own yet. They have to cross a fast B road on a bend.
I think traffic is definitely different from when I was youg and the things that scares me the most. When I've been with them on the road about 1 in three cars flies past at 40-50 in a 30. They'd be nothing left of them if they got hit.
Graphs like the above on accidents are tricky as it's not normalised for the distance traveled. If everyone is getting a lift to school I can see why accidents are going down.
We currently have a massive obesity problem with our generation which given the commments above it's only gonna get worse by the sounds of it.
I was hardly ever inside growing up, even then it would be because the weather would be classed as biblical!
Would always walk to primary school (2 miles or so) and when I went to high school I was then allowed 'up the town on my own' which was into our town about 4 miles away usually by bus or bike to meet up with friends.
I dont have kids yet, however i'm forever telling my neice and nephew to go out and play and fortunately their mother doesnt mind so much either, as long as she or I am aware of roughly there wherabouts.
Christ, not letting a 10-12 year old out your sight seems insane to me given in a few years they can legally be parents themselves!
You can't be too careful...
Both my kids have always got plenty of exercise but it is more controlled than when we were kids of the same age. It has meant visiting play centres when they were younger and getting season passes at the local farm play centre where they are safe to run around independently and learn the importance of making friends and sharing the play equipment. As most parents understand, this is not a cheap pastime and when you consider that in my youth, most parents let their kids out to play, they didn't know exactly what they were up to. As I said in my earlier post, I've argued with the wife over many issues with giving the kids opportunity to assess risks and be independent but she really is concerned what the other Mum's would say if I sent youngest to dancing on her own! She cycles to and from school every day on the road with me and I have taught her all about signalling,road position and awareness. Nevertheless, none of this qualifies her to cycle the hundred metres to the village hall. I despair for the next generation!
Q: Is the drop in pedestrian deaths on> http://makingthelink.net/child-deaths-road-traffic-accidents <- due to less children walking to school?
Phew, thanks for all the replies.
I did worry about him while he was away but he's really risk averse and wouldn't do anything silly, unlike his little brother whose already tried setting fire to his room.
I didn't think he'd do it but I was proud of him he did.
The Skate park is really close, about half a mile and there's no big roads to cross.
It is next to a traveller site, which I don't mind because the kids have always encouraged the others to have a go at some trick, their language is awful but so is mine!!!
Not read any of the above but 8 is too young imho to be out solo. We do live on a busy road and it still concerns me to this day. Kids are now 12 and 15.
she really is concerned what the other Mum's would say
I don't know what the other mums would say, but I know with cast-iron certainty what my reply would be if they did.
Seriously, why is this an issue? WGAF what anyone else thinks, they're your kids and your responsibility to do what's best for them. The coven can wind their bloody necks in.
As for the right age to let them go out alone, I'd have no idea. I'd posit though that age isn't an absolute, you might have a particularly sensible and mature 7 year old or a completely batshit 10 year old. I'd perhaps think the right age is "when you think they can be trusted."*
(* - which will be about 28.)
We're letting the oldest one slowly spread his wings at 8, problem is other friends his age don't seem to have the same opportunities to do this.
Some of their parents are seriously overprotective, stressing about their kids in supervised activities.
Most recent, taster session for free running lessons that were great, but some of the lads are not going back because it looks too dangerous. It was like a gym class with a foam pit to jump into, sigh.
