MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
The Top 10 jokes were judged to be:
• 1) Dan Antopolski - "Hedgehogs - why can't they just share the hedge?"
• 2) Paddy Lennox - "I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting'."
• 3) Sarah Millican - "I had my boobs measured and bought a new bra. Now I call them Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes because they're up where they belong."
• 4) Zoe Lyons - "I went on a girls' night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill'. I went as Rose West."
• 5) Jack Whitehall - "I'm sure wherever my dad is; he's looking down on us. He's not dead, just very condescending."
• 6) Adam Hills - "Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You know you're going to get it, but it's going to be rough."
• 7) Marcus Brigstocke - "To the people who've got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn't invent it!"
• 8) Rhod Gilbert - "A spa hotel? It's like a normal hotel, only in reception there's a picture of a pebble."
• 9) Dan Antopolski - "I've been reading the news about there being a civil war in Madagascar. Well, I've seen it six times and there isn't."
• 10) Simon Brodkin (as Lee Nelson) - "I started so many fights at my school - I had that attention-deficit disorder. So I didn't finish a lot of them."
Maybe it's just me, the vast majority of those jokes are shite.
yeah the fringe is shit dont go
• 7) Marcus Brigstocke - "To the people who've got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn't invent it!"
May not be funny, but it is very true
yeah the fringe is shit dont go
Yep please don't go - it's hard enough getting tickets as it is and unless you like art, comedy, theatre, music and dance in a busy cosmopolitan atmosphere then you won't really like it. Why not stay in and watch the Eastenders omnibus instead?
The BBC has the 'worst' ones as well- some of them were better.
I agree and here they are:
Carey Marx - "I'm not doing any Michael Jackson jokes, because they always involve puns about his songs. And that's bad."
Frank Woodley - "I phoned the swine flu hotline and all I got was crackling."
Alex Maple - "Michael Jackson only invented the moonwalk so he could sneak up on children."
Phil Nichol - "She's got a face like a rare Chinese vase - minging."
Alistair McGowan - "I've just split up from my girlfriend, which is a shame, because it was a long-standing arrangement. Perhaps if we'd sat down a bit more..."
• 4) Zoe Lyons - "I went on a girls' night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill'. I went as Rose West."
I chuckled.
I'd wager that reading jokes of a web page is different from actually being there, what with the atmosphere and delivery adding to the way you react to the jokes.